tg.stone of tears-第206章

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　That’s　only　because　…’
　
　‘I’ve　been　praying　for　this　day　nearly　my　whole　life！　All　I　ever　wanted　was　to　be　a　Sister　of　the　Light。　The　Sisters　help　people。　I　wanted　to　be　one　of　them！’　She　succumbed　to　her　tears。　‘I’m　never　going　to　be　a　Sister；　now。’
　
　‘Sure　you　will。’
　
　‘Not　according　to　you！　From　what　you　keep　telling　us；　you　intend　to　kill　us　all！　From　the　first　moment；　all　you　have　done　is　threaten　us！’
　
　‘Pasha；　you　don’t　understand。’
　
　Her　tearstained　face　came　up。　‘Don’t　I？　We　had　a　big　banquet　to　make　you　feel　wele；　bigger　even　than　the　harvest　banquet。　I　had　to　go　without　you　and　tell　everyone　you　were　ill。　They　all　stared　at　me！　The　other　novices　get　boys　who　want　to　learn。　My　friends　have　e　to　me　before；　plaining　that　their　young　charge　brought　them　a　frog　or　a　bug　in　his　pocket。　You　bring　me　a　mriswith！
　
　‘Sister　Maren　said　we　did　well　today。　She　hardly　ever　says　that。　It’s　not　something　she　does　unless　she　really　means　it。
　
　‘You　were　cruel　to　Sister　Maren。　She　has　been　headmistress　of　the　novices　ever　since　I　came　here。　She　is　strict；　but　that’s　because　she　cares　about　us。　She　watches　out　for　us。’
　
　Pasha　gasped　back　a　sob。　‘When　I　was　little；　the　first　day　I　came　to　the　palace；　I　was　scared。　I　had　never　been　away　from　home。　Sister　Maren　drew　a　little　picture　for　me。　She　told　me　it　was　a　picture　of　the　Creator。　She　put　it　on　my　pillow　and　told　me　He　would　watch　over　me　in　the　night；　so　I　would　be　safe。’
　
　Pasha　tried　to　stifle　the　tears；　but　couldn’t。　‘I’ve　always　kept　that　picture。　I　wanted　to　give　it　to　my　boy　on　his　first　night；　so　he　wouldn’t　be　afraid。　I　had　it　with　me　yesterday。　When　I　saw　you；　saw　that　you　were　grown；　I　knew　I　couldn’t　give　it　to　you。　I　didn’t　want　to　embarrass　you。
　
　And　when　I　saw　you；　I　thought；　Well；　Pasha；　he’s　not　a　young　boy；　like　all　the　other　novices　get；　but　the　Creator　has　given　me　the　handsomest　man　I　ever　saw。　I　was　so　glad　I　had　on　my　prettiest　dress；　the　one　I　had　been　saving　for　that　day。’　She　gasped　for　air。　And　then　you　tell　me　I’m　ugly！’
　
　Richard’s　eyes　slid　closed。　‘Pasha；　I’m　sorry。’
　
　‘No　you’re　not！’　she　cried。　‘You’re　nothing　but　a　big　brute！　We　had　everything　prepared　for　you。　We　gave　you　one　of　the　nicest　rooms　in　the　palace。　You　didn’t　care。　We　provided　you　with　money　for　whatever　you　might　need　or　want；　and　you　act　as　if　we　insulted　you。　We　had　fine　new　clothes　for　you；　and　you　turn　your　nose　up　at　them！’
　
　She　wiped　her　tears；　but　more　replaced　them。　Td　be　the　first　to　admit　that　there　are　some　Sisters　who　think　too　much　of　themselves；　but　most　are　so　kind　they　wouldn’t　even　step　on　a　bug。　And　you　hold　up　a　bloody　sword　in　front　of　them　and　vow　to　kill　them！’
　
　She　held　up　fists　full　of　her　skirt　and　covered　her　face　as　she　convulsed　in　sobs。　Richard　put　a　hand　on　her　shoulder　but　she　pushed　it　away。
　
　Richard　didn’t　know　what　to　do　with　his　hands。　‘Pasha；　I’m　sorry。　I　know　it　must　seem　like　…’
　
　‘No　you’re　not！　You’re　not　sorry　at　all！　You　want　the　Rada’Han　off；　but　that’s　what　my　job　is；　to　teach　you　to　use　your　gift　so　you　can　get　the　collar　off。　But　you　won’t　let　me！　Without　the　collar；　you　would　have　died。
　
　Two　Sisters　have　given　their　lives　for　you。　They　will　never　e　home　to　their　friends。　Those　friends　wept　in　secret；　and　put　on　a　smile　to　wele　you。　In　return　for　trying　to　help　you；　trying　to　save　your　life；　you　threaten　to　kill　us　all！’
　
　Richard　put　a　gentle　hand　to　her　head。　‘Pasha　。。。’
　
　‘I’m　never　going　to　be　a　Sister。　Instead　of　getting　a　boy　who　wants　to　learn；　I　get　a　madman　with　a　sword。　I’ll　forever　be　the　object　of　laughter　at　the　palace。　Young　girls　will　be　told　to　behave　themselves　or　they’ll　end　up　like　Pasha　Maes；　and　be　put　out　like　she　was。　My　dreams　have　e　to　ruin。’
　
　It　hurt　him　to　see　her　sobbing　in　such　pain　and　sorrow。　Richard　took　her　up　in　his　arms。　She　fought　him　at　first；　trying　to　push　him　away；　but　when　he　pulled　her　against　him　and　put　her　head　to　his　shoulder；　she　went　limp　and　cried　all　the　harder。　Richard　held　her　tight　and　rubbed　her　back　as　she　trembled　and　cried。　He　rocked　her　gently　in　his　arms。
　
　‘I　only　wanted　to　help　you；　Richard；’　she　sobbed。　‘I　only　wanted　to　teach　you。’
　
　He　hushed　her。　‘I　know。　I　know。　It　will　be　all　right。’
　
　She　shook　her　head　against　his　shoulder。　‘No　it　won’t。’
　
　‘Yes　it　will。　You’ll　see。’
　
　Finally；　her　hands　came　up；　clutching　his　shirt　as　she　cried。　Richard　didn’t　try　to　stop　her　tears；　he　simply　held　her；　trying　to　give　her　fort。
　
　‘Do　you　really　think　that　you　could　teach　me　to　use　the　gift；　and　that　then　the　Sisters　would　take　the　collar　off？’
　
　She　sniffled。　‘That’s　my　job。　That’s　what　I’ve　been　training　for。　I　wanted　so　much　to　show　you　the　beauty　of　the　Creator；　of　his　gift　to　you。　That’s　all　I　wanted。’
　
　Her　arms　circled　him。　She　clung　to　him；　as　if　trying　to　soak　up　succor。　He　stroked　her　hair。
　
　‘Richard；　when　I　touched　you　yesterday；　when　I　touched　your　Rada’Han；　and　felt　something　of　your　Han；　I　felt　some　of　your　feelings。　I　know　you　hurt　inside。　It　made　me　hurt　just　to　feel　a　little　of　it。’
　
　Her　hand　came　up　to　the　side　of　his　neck；　as　if　to　fort　him。　‘I　don’t　know　of　many　things　that　can　cause　that　much　hurt。　Richard；　I’m　not　asking　to　take　her　place。’
　
　Richard’s　eyes　closed　as　his　head　sank　down　on　her　shoulder。　He　swallowed　back　the　pain。　She　ran　her　fingers　through　his　hair　and　held　his　head　to　her。
　
　After　a　time；　he　found　his　voice。　‘Maybe　it　wouldn’t　hurt　me　to　occasionally　wear　one　of　those　outfits。’
　
　She　pushed　away　a　little；　looking　up　through　her　tears。　‘Maybe　just　to　the　dining　room；　with　the　Sisters？’
　
　He　shrugged。　‘That　would　be　a　good　use　of　them；　I　guess。　You　pick　one　you　would　like　me　to　wear。　I　don’t　know　anything　about　fancy　clothes。’　He　managed　a　small　smile。　‘I’m　just　a　woods　guide。’
　
　Her　face　brightened。　‘You　would　look　handsome　in　the　red　coat。’
　
　Richard　winced。　‘The　red　one？　Does　it　have　to　be　the　red　one？’
　
　She　ran　her　finger　down　the　Agiel　hanging　from　his　neck。　‘No；　it　doesn’t　have　to　be　that　one。　I　just　thought　it　would　look　good　on　your　broad　shoulders。’
　
　Richard　sighed。　‘I　will　feel　foolish　in　any。　It　might　as　well　be　the　red。’
　
　‘You　will　not　look　foolish；　you　will　look　handsome。’　Pasha　grinned。　‘You’ll　see。　All　the　women　will　be　batting　their　lashes　at　you。’　She　lifted　the　Agiel。　‘Richard；　what　is　this？’
　
　‘Just　sort　of　a　good…luck　charm。　You　ready　to　go　back？　I　think　you　need　to　get　started　teaching　me。　The　sooner　you　start；　the　sooner　I　get　this　collar　off。　Then　we’ll　both　be　happy；　you　will　be　a　Sister；　and　I　will　be　free。’
　
　He　put　his　arm　around　her　shoulders　and　she　put　hers　around　his　waist　as　they　walked　back　for　Bonnie。
　
　
　CHAPTER　53
　
　On　the　bridge　to　Halsband　Island；　in　a　pool　of　light　under　a　lamp；　a　crowd　of　boys　and　young　men　mobbed　them。　Many　were　dressed　in　fine　clothes；　some　wore　robes；　and　each　had　a　Rada’Han　around　his　neck。　They　all　excitedly　asked　questions　at　the　same　time；　wanting　to　know　if　it　was　true　that　Richard　had　killed　a　mriswith；　and　what　it　looked　like。　They　wanted　to　tell　Richard　their　names；　and　clamored　for　him　to　draw　his　sword　and　show　them　how　he　had　vanquished　the　legendary　monster。
　
　Pasha　spoke　to　the　most　persistent　boy　at　her　hip。　‘Yes；　Kipp；　it’s　true　that　Richard　killed　a　mriswith。　Sister　Maren　is　studying　it　now；　and　if　she　deems　it　appropriate；　she　will　tell　you　of　its　nature。　But　I　can　tell　you　true　that　it　is　a　fearsome…looking　beast。　Now；　off　with　you　all。　It’s　nearly　dinnertime。’
　
　Despite　their　disappointment　that　no　more　information　was　forthing；　they　were　excited　by　what　they　had　heard。　They　ran　off　in　a　bunch　to　tell　others。
　
　After　leaving　Bonnie　at　the　stables；　Richard　walked　with　Pasha　down　halls　and　through　vast　chambers；　trying　to　memorize　the　layout。　She　pointed　out　the　boys’　dining　halls；　and　the　dining　hall　where　the　Sisters　and　some　of　the　older　young　men　ate。　She　also　took　him　past　the　kitchens；　where　the　aromas　of　c