novel notes-第34章

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seph；　but　everything　else　about　him　rendered　such　an　assumption　impossible。　　Putting　aside　the　time　and　the　place；　and　forgetting　his　behaviour；　his　companions；　and　his　instrument；　what　remained　was　sufficient　to　make　the　suggestion　absurd。　　Joseph　was　always　clean　shaven；　this　youth　had　a　smudgy　moustache　and　a　pair　of　incipient　red　whiskers。　　He　was　dressed　in　the　loudest　check　suit　I　have　ever　seen；　off　the　stage。　　He　wore　patent…leather　boots　with　mother…of…pearl　buttons；　and　a　necktie　that　in　an　earlier　age　would　have　called　down　lightning　out　of　Heaven。　　He　had　a　low…crowned　billycock　hat　on　his　head；　and　a　big　evil…smelling　cigar　between　his　lips。

〃Argue　as　I　would；　however；　the　face　was　the　face　of　Joseph；　and；　moved　by　a　curiosity　I　could　not　control；　I　kept　near　him；　watching　him。

〃Once；　for　a　little　while；　I　missed　him；　but　there　was　not　much　fear　of　losing　that　suit　for　long；　and　after　a　little　looking　about　I　struck　it　again。　　He　was　sitting　at　the　end　of　the　pier；　where　it　was　less　crowded；　with　his　arm　round　a　girl's　waist。　　I　crept　close。　She　was　a　jolly；　red…faced　girl；　good…looking　enough；　but　common　to　the　last　degree。　　Her　hat　lay　on　the　seat　beside　her；　and　her　head　was　resting　on　his　shoulder。　　She　appeared　to　be　fond　of　him；　but　he　was　evidently　bored。

〃'Don'tcher　like　me；　Joe？'　I　heard　her　murmur。

〃'Yas；'　he　replied；　somewhat　unconvincingly；　'o'　course　I　likes　yer。'

〃She　gave　him　an　affectionate　slap；　but　he　did　not　respond；　and　a　few　minutes　afterwards；　muttering　some　excuse；　he　rose　and　left　her；　and　I　followed　him　as　he　made　his　way　towards　the　refreshment…room。　At　the　door　he　met　one　of　his　pals。

〃'Hullo！'　was　the　question；　'wot　'a　yer　done　wi'　'Liza？'

〃'Oh；　I　carn't　stand　'er；'　was　his　reply；　'she　gives　me　the　bloomin'　'ump。　　You　'ave　a　turn　with　'er。'

〃His　friend　disappeared　in　the　direction　of　'Liza；　and　Joe　pushed　into　the　room；　I　keeping　close　behind　him。　　Now　that　he　was　alone　I　was　determined　to　speak　to　him。　　The　longer　I　had　studied　his　features　the　more　resemblance　I　had　found　in　them　to　those　of　my　superior　friend　Joseph。

〃He　was　leaning　across　the　bar；　clamouring　for　two　of　gin；　when　I　tapped　him　on　the　shoulder。　　He　turned　his　head；　and　the　moment　he　saw　me；　his　face　went　livid。

〃'Mr。　Joseph　Smythe；　I　believe；'　I　said　with　a　smile。

〃'Who's　Mr。　Joseph　Smythe？'　he　answered　hoarsely；　'my　name's　Smith；　I　ain't　no　bloomin'　Smythe。　　Who　are　you？　　I　don't　know　yer。'

〃As　he　spoke；　my　eyes　rested　upon　a　curious　gold　ring　of　Indian　workmanship　which　he　wore　upon　his　left　hand。　　There　was　no　mistaking　the　ring；　at　all　events：　　it　had　been　passed　round　the　club　on　more　than　one　occasion　as　a　unique　curiosity。　　His　eyes　followed　my　gaze。　　He　burst　into　tears；　and　pushing　me　before　him　into　a　quiet　corner　of　the　saloon；　sat　down　facing　me。

〃'Don't　give　me　away；　old　man；'　he　whimpered；　'for　Gawd's　sake；　don't　let　on　to　any　of　the　chaps　'ere　that　I'm　a　member　of　that　blessed　old　waxwork　show　in　Saint　James's：　　they'd　never　speak　to　me　agen。　　And　keep　yer　mug　shut　about　Oxford；　there's　a　good　sort。　　I　wouldn't　'ave　'em　know　as　'ow　I　was　one　o'　them　college　blokes　for　anythink。'

〃I　sat　aghast。　　I　had　listened　to　hear　him　entreat　me　to　keep　'Smith；'　the　rorty　'Arry；　a　secret　from　the　acquaintances　of　'Smythe；'　the　superior　person。　　Here　was　'Smith'　in　mortal　terror　lest　his　pals　should　hear　of　his　identity　with　the　aristocratic　'Smythe；'　and　discard　him。　　His　attitude　puzzled　me　at　the　time；　but；　when　I　came　to　reflect；　my　wonder　was　at　myself　for　having　expected　the　opposite。

〃'I　carn't　'elp　it；'　he　went　on；　'I　'ave　to　live　two　lives。　　'Arf　my　time　I'm　a　stuck…up　prig；　as　orter　be　jolly　well　kicked'

〃'At　which　times；'　I　interrupted；　'I　have　heard　you　express　some　extremely　uncomplimentary　opinions　concerning　'Arries。'

〃'I　know；'　he　replied；　in　a　voice　betraying　strong　emotion；　'that's　where　it's　so　precious　rough　on　me。　　When　I'm　a　toff　I　despises　myself；　'cos　I　knows　that　underneath　my　sneering　phiz　I'm　a　bloomin'　'Arry。　　When　I'm　an　'Arry；　I　'ates　myself　'cos　I　knows　I'm　a　toff。'

〃'Can't　you　decide　which　character　you　prefer；　and　stick　to　it？'　I　asked。

〃'No；'　he　answered；　'I　carn't。　　It's　a　rum　thing；　but　whichever　I　am；　sure　as　fate；　'bout　the　end　of　a　month　I　begin　to　get　sick　o'　myself。'

〃'I　can　quite　understand　it；'　I　murmured；　'I　should　give　way　myself　in　a　fortnight。'

〃'I've　been　myself；　now；'　he　continued；　without　noticing　my　remark；　'for　somethin'　like　ten　days。　　One　mornin'；　in　'bout　three　weeks'　time；　I　shall　get　up　in　my　diggins　in　the　Mile　End　Road；　and　I　shall　look　round　the　room；　and　at　these　clothes　'angin'　over　the　bed；　and　at　this　yer　concertina'　（he　gave　it　an　affectionate　squeeze）；　'and　I　shall　feel　myself　gettin'　scarlet　all　over。　　Then　I　shall　jump　out　o'　bed；　and　look　at　myself　in　the　glass。　　〃You　howling　little　cad；〃　I　shall　say　to　myself；　〃I　have　half　a　mind　to　strangle　you〃；　and　I　shall　shave　myself；　and　put　on　a　quiet　blue　serge　suit　and　a　bowler　'at；　tell　my　landlady　to　keep　my　rooms　for　me　till　I　comes　back；　slip　out　o'　the　'ouse；　and　into　the　fust　'ansom　I　meets；　and　back　to　the　Halbany。　　And　a　month　arter　that；　I　shall　come　into　my　chambers　at　the　Halbany；　fling　Voltaire　and　Parini　into　the　fire；　shy　me　'at　at　the　bust　of　good　old　'Omer；　slip　on　my　blue　suit　agen；　and　back　to　the　Mile　End　Road。'

〃'How　do　you　explain　your　absence　to　both　parties？'　I　asked。

〃'Oh；　that's　simple　enough；'　he　replied。　　'I　just　tells　my　'ousekeeper　at　the　Halbany　as　I'm　goin'　on　the　Continong；　and　my　mates　'ere　thinks　I'm　a　traveller。'

〃'Nobody　misses　me　much；'　he　added；　pathetically；　'I　hain't　a　partic'larly　fetchin'　sort　o'　bloke；　either　of　me。　　I'm　sich　an　out…　and…outer。　　When　I'm　an　'Arry；　I'm　too　much　of　an　'Arry；　and　when　I'm　a　prig；　I'm　a　reg'lar　fust　prize　prig。　　Seems　to　me　as　if　I　was　two　ends　of　a　man　without　any　middle。　　If　I　could　only　mix　myself　up　a　bit　more；　I'd　be　all　right。'

〃He　sniffed　once　or　twice；　and　then　he　laughed。　　'Ah；　well；'　he　said；　casting　aside　his　momentary　gloom；　'it's　all　a　game；　and　wot's　the　odds　so　long　as　yer　'appy。　　'Ave　a　wet？'

〃I　declined　the　wet；　and　left　him　playing　sentimental　airs　to　himself　upon　the　concertina。

〃One　afternoon；　about　a　month　later；　the　servant　came　to　me　with　a　card　on　which　was　engraved　the　name　of　'Mr。　Joseph　Smythe。'　　I　requested　her　to　show　him　up。　　He　entered　with　his　usual　air　of　languid　superciliousness；　and　seated　himself　in　a　graceful　attitude　upon　the　sofa。

〃'Well；'　I　said；　as　soon　as　the　girl　had　closed　the　door　behind　her；　'so　you've　got　rid　of　Smith？'

〃A　sickly　smile　passed　over　his　face。　　'You　have　not　mentioned　it　to　any　one？'　he　asked　anxiously。

〃'Not　to　a　soul；'　I　replied；　'though　I　confess　I　often　feel　tempted　to。'

〃'I　sincerely　trust　you　never　will；'　he　said；　in　a　tone　of　alarm。　'You　can　have　no　conception　of　the　misery　the　whole　thing　causes　me。　I　cannot　understand　it。　　What　possible　affinity　there　can　be　between　myself　and　that　disgusting　little　snob　passes　my　comprehension。　　I　assure　you；　my　dear　Mac；　the　knowledge　that　I　was　a　ghoul；　or　a　vampire；　would　cause　me　less　nausea　than　the　reflection　that　I　am　one　and　the　same　with　that　odious　little　Whitechapel　bounder。　　When　I　think　of　him　every　nerve　in　my　body'

〃'Don't　think　about　him　any　more；'　I　interrupted；　perceiving　his　strongly…suppressed　emotion。　　'You　didn't　come　here　to　talk　about　him；　I'm　sure。　　Let　us　dismiss　him。'

〃'Well；'　he　replied；　'in　a　certain　roundabout　way　it　is　slightly　connected　with　him。　　That　is　really　my　excuse　for　inflicting　the　subject　upon　you。　　You　are　the　only　man　I　CAN　speak　to　about　itif　I　shall　not　bore　you？'

〃'Not　in　the　least；'　I　said。　　'I　am　most　interested。'　　As　he　still　hesitated；　I　asked　him　point…blank　what　it　was。

〃He　appeared　embarrassed。　　'It　is　really　very　absurd　of　me；'　he　said；　while　the　faintest　suspicion　of　pink　crossed　his　usually　colourless　face；　'but　I　feel　I　must　talk　to　somebody　about　it。　　The　fact　is；　my　dear　Mac；　I　am　in　love。'

〃'Capital！'　I　cried；　'I'm　delighted　to　hear　it。'　　（I　thought　it　might　make　a　man　of　him。）　　'Do　I　know　the　lady？'

〃'I　am　inclined　to　think　you　must　have　seen　her；'　he　replied；　'she　was　wi