novel notes-第24章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
had left her was that she expected him to be in at ten each night； and that hour didn't fit in with his other arrangements。 It made no difference to meas a matter of fact； I do not care for these midnight reunions that are so popular amongst us。 There are always too many cats for one properly to enjoy oneself； and sooner or later a rowdy element is sure to creep in。 I offered myself to her； and she accepted me gratefully。 But I have never liked her； and never shall。 She is a silly old woman； and bores me。 She is； however； devoted to me； and； unless something extra attractive turns up； I shall stick to her。
〃'That； my dear； is the story of my life； so far as it has gone。 I tell it you to show you how easy it is to be 〃taken in。〃 Fix on your house； and mew piteously at the back door。 When it is opened run in and rub yourself against the first leg you come across。 Rub hard； and look up confidingly。 Nothing gets round human beings； I have noticed； quicker than confidence。 They don't get much of it； and it pleases them。 Always be confiding。 At the same time be prepared for emergencies。 If you are still doubtful as to your reception； try and get yourself slightly wet。 Why people should prefer a wet cat to a dry one I have never been able to understand； but that a wet cat is practically sure of being taken in and gushed over； while a dry cat is liable to have the garden hose turned upon it； is an undoubted fact。 Also； if you can possibly manage it； and it is offered you； eat a bit of dry bread。 The Human Race is always stirred to its deepest depths by the sight of a cat eating a bit of dry bread。'
〃My friend's black Tom profited by the Chinchilla's wisdom。 A catless couple had lately come to live next door。 He determined to adopt them on trial。 Accordingly； on the first rainy day； he went out soon after lunch and sat for four hours in an open field。 In the evening； soaked to the skin； and feeling pretty hungry； he went mewing to their door。 One of the maids opened it； he rushed under her skirts and rubbed himself against her legs。 She screamed； and down came the master and the mistress to know what was the matter。
〃'It's a stray cat； mum；' said the girl。
〃'Turn it out；' said the master。
〃'Oh no； don't；' said the mistress。
〃'Oh； poor thing； it's wet；' said the housemaid。
〃'Perhaps it's hungry；' said the cook。
〃'Try it with a bit of dry bread；' sneered the master； who wrote for the newspapers； and thought he knew everything。
〃A stale crust was proffered。 The cat ate it greedily； and afterwards rubbed himself gratefully against the man's light trousers。
〃This made the man ashamed of himself； likewise of his trousers。 'Oh； well； let it stop if it wants to；' he said。
〃So the cat was made comfortable； and stayed on。
〃Meanwhile its own family were seeking for it high and low。 They had not cared over much for it while they had had it； now it was gone； they were inconsolable。 In the light of its absence； it appeared to them the one thing that had made the place home。 The shadows of suspicion gathered round the case。 The cat's disappearance； at first regarded as a mystery； began to assume the shape of a crime。 The wife openly accused the husband of never having liked the animal； and more than hinted that he and the gardener between them could give a tolerably truthful account of its last moments； an insinuation that the husband repudiated with a warmth that only added credence to the original surmise。
〃The bull…terrier was had up and searchingly examined。 Fortunately for him； he had not had a single fight for two whole days。 Had any recent traces of blood been detected upon him； it would have gone hard with him。
〃The person who suffered most； however； was the youngest boy。 Three weeks before； he had dressed the cat in doll's clothes and taken it round the garden in the perambulator。 He himself had forgotten the incident； but Justice； though tardy； was on his track。 The misdeed was suddenly remembered at the very moment when unavailing regret for the loss of the favourite was at its deepest； so that to box his ears and send him； then and there； straight off to bed was felt to be a positive relief。
〃At the end of a fortnight； the cat； finding he had not； after all； bettered himself； came back。 The family were so surprised that at first they could not be sure whether he was flesh and blood； or a spirit come to comfort them。 After watching him eat half a pound of raw steak； they decided he was material； and caught him up and hugged him to their bosoms。 For a week they over…fed him and made much of him。 Then； the excitement cooling； he found himself dropping back into his old position； and didn't like it； and went next door again。
〃The next door people had also missed him； and they likewise greeted his return with extravagant ebullitions of joy。 This gave the cat an idea。 He saw that his game was to play the two families off one against the other； which he did。 He spent an alternate fortnight with each； and lived like a fighting cock。 His return was always greeted with enthusiasm； and every means were adopted to induce him to stay。 His little whims were carefully studied； his favourite dishes kept in constant readiness。
〃The destination of his goings leaked out at length； and then the two families quarrelled about him over the fence。 My friend accused the newspaper man of having lured him away。 The newspaper man retorted that the poor creature had come to his door wet and starving； and added that he would be ashamed to keep an animal merely to ill…treat it。 They have a quarrel about him twice a week on the average。 It will probably come to blows one of these days。〃
Jephson appeared much surprised by this story。 He remained thoughtful and silent。 I asked him if he would like to hear any more； and as he offered no active opposition I went on。 （Maybe he was asleep； that idea did not occur to me at the time。）
I told him of my grandmother's cat； who； after living a blameless life for upwards of eleven years； and bringing up a family of something like sixty…six； not counting those that died in infancy and the water…butt； took to drink in her old age； and was run over while in a state of intoxication （oh； the justice of it！ ） by a brewer's dray。 I have read in temperance tracts that no dumb animal will touch a drop of alcoholic liquor。 My advice is； if you wish to keep them respectable； don't give them a chance to get at it。 I knew a pony But never mind him； we are talking about my grandmother's cat。
A leaky beer…tap was the cause of her downfall。 A saucer used to be placed underneath it to catch the drippings。 One day the cat； coming in thirsty； and finding nothing else to drink； lapped up a little； liked it； and lapped a little more； went away for half an hour； and came back and finished the saucerful。 Then sat down beside it； and waited for it to fill again。
From that day till the hour she died； I don't believe that cat was ever once quite sober。 Her days she passed in a drunken stupor before the kitchen fire。 Her nights she spent in the beer cellar。
My grandmother； shocked and grieved beyond expression； gave up her barrel and adopted bottles。 The cat； thus condemned to enforced abstinence； meandered about the house for a day and a half in a disconsolate； quarrelsome mood。 Then she disappeared； returning at eleven o'clock as tight as a drum。
Where she went； and how she managed to procure the drink； we never discovered； but the same programme was repeated every day。 Some time during the morning she would contrive to elude our vigilance and escape； and late every evening she would come reeling home across the fields in a condition that I will not sully my pen by attempting to describe。
It was on Saturday night that she met the sad end to which I have before alluded。 She must have been very drunk； for the man told us that； in consequence of the darkness； and the fact that his horses were tired； he was proceeding at little more than a snail's pace。
I think my grandmother was rather relieved than otherwise。 She had been very fond of the cat at one time； but its recent conduct had alienated her affection。 We children buried it i
