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第60章

时尚女魔头 穿普拉达的恶魔 英文原版-第60章


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  couldn’t have possibly heard from across the suite; Emily looked up 
  at me。

  “Hello; Miranda。 This is Andrea。 May I help you with something?” How 
  on earth was this woman calling? I quickly checked the itinerary 
  that Emily had typed for everyone while Miranda was in Europe and 
  saw that her flight had taken off a mere six minutes before and she 
  was already calling from the seat phone。

  “Well; I should hope so。 I’ve looked at my itinerary and I just 
  noticed that hair and makeup for Thursday before dinner is not 
  confirmed。”

  “Um; well; Miranda; that’s because Monsieur Renaud wasn’t able to 
  get an absolute confirmation from the Thursday people; but he said 
  it was ninety…nine percent that they’d be able to and—”

  “Ahn…dre…ah; answer me this: Is ninety…nine percent the same as a 
  hundred? Is it the same asconfirmed ?” But before I could answer I 
  heard her tell someone; most likely a flight attendant; that she 
  wasn’t “particularly interested in the rules and regulations 
  regarding the use of electronics” and to “please bore someone else 
  with them。”

  “But ma’am; it’s against the rules; and I’m going to have to ask 
  that you disconnect your call until we’ve reached a cruising 
  altitude。 It’s simply unsafe;” she said beseechingly。

  “Ahn…dre…ah; can you hear me? Are you listening 。 。 。”

  “Ma’am; I’m going to have to insist。 Now please; hang up the phone。” 
  My mouth was starting to ache from smiling so widely—I could only 
  imagine how much Miranda was hating being addressed as “ma’am;” 
  which; as everyone knows; connotes old lady all the way。

  “Ahn…dre…ah; thestewardess is forcing me to end this call。 I’ll call 
  you back when thestewardess allows me to do so。 In the meantime; I 
  want hair and makeup confirmed; and I’d like you to begin 
  interviewing new girls for the nanny position。 That’s all。” It 
  clicked off; but not before I heard the flight attendant call her 
  “ma’am” one last time。

  “What did she want?” Emily asked; her forehead wrinkling in intense 
  worry。

  “She called me the right name three times in a row;” I gloated; 
  happy to prolong her anticipation。 “Three times; do you believe it? 
  I think that means we’re best friends; doesn’t it? Who would’ve 
  thought? Andrea Sachs and Miranda Priestly; BFF。”

  “Andrea; what did she say?”

  “Well; she wants the Thursday hair and makeup confirmed because 
  clearly ninety…nine percent isn’t reassuring enough。 Oh; and she 
  said something about interviewing for a new nanny? I must’ve 
  misunderstood that one。 Whatever—she’ll call back in thirty 
  seconds。”

  Emily took a deep breath and willed herself to endure my stupidity 
  with grace and style。 It clearly wasn’t easy for her。 “No; I don’t 
  think you misunderstood at all。 Cara is no longer with Miranda; so 
  obviously she’ll be needing a new nanny。”

  “What? What do you mean no longer ‘with Miranda’? If she’s no longer 
  ‘with Miranda;’ then where the hell is she?” I found it really hard 
  to believe Cara wouldn’t have told me about her abrupt departure。

  “Miranda thought Cara might be happier working for someone else;” 
  Emily said in what I’m sure was much more diplomatic phrasing than 
  Miranda herself had used。 As if Miranda had ever been attuned to 
  other people’s Happiness!

  “Emily; please。 Please tell me what really happened。”

  “I gathered from Caroline that Cara had grounded the girls in their 
  rooms after they talked back to her the other day。 Miranda didn’t 
  feel it was appropriate for Cara to be making these decisions。 And I 
  agree。 I mean; Cara is not these girls’ mother; you know?”

  So Cara had gotten fired because she made two little girls sit in 
  their bedrooms after they’d surely given her attitude? “Yeah; I see 
  your point。 It’s definitely not a nanny’s job to look out for the 
  well…being of her charges;” I said; nodding solemnly。 “Cara was out 
  of line there。”

  Emily not only didn’t react to my dripping sarcasm; but didn’t seem 
  to detect so much as a hint of it。 “Exactly。 And besides; Miranda 
  never liked that Cara didn’t speak French。 How are the girls 
  supposed to learn to speak it without an American accent?”

  Oh; I don’t know。 Maybe from their 18;000…a…year private school; 
  where French was a required subject and all three of the French 
  teachers were native speakers? Or perhaps from their own fluent 
  mother who had herself lived in France; still visited a half…dozen 
  times a year and could read; write; and speak the language with 
  perfect; lilting pronunciation? But instead I said; “Hey; you’re 
  right。 No French; no nanny。 I hear you。”

  “Well; regardless; it’s going to be your responsibility to find the 
  girls a new nanny。 Here’s the number of the agency we work with;” 
  she said; sending it to me in an e…mail。 “They know how 
  discriminating Miranda is—and rightfully so; of course—so they 
  usually give us good people。”

  I looked at her warily and wondered what her life had been before 
  Miranda Priestly。 I got to sleep with my eyes open for a little 
  while longer before the phone rang again。 Blessedly; Emily answered 
  it。

  “Hello; Miranda。 Yes; yes; I can hear you。 No; no problem at all。 
  Yes; I have confirmed hair and makeup for that Thursday。 And yes; 
  Andrea has already begun looking for new nannies。 We’ll have three 
  solid candidates ready for you to interview on your first day back。” 
  She cocked her head to the side and touched her pen to her lips。 
  “Mmm; yes。 Yes; it’s definitely confirmed。 No; it’s not ninety…nine 
  percent; it’s one hundred percent。 Definitely。 Yes; Miranda。 Yes; I 
  confirmed it myself; and I’m quite positive。 They’re looking forward 
  to it。 OK。 Have a nice flight。 Yes; it’s confirmed。 I’ll fax it 
  right now。 OK。 Good…bye。” She hung up the phone and appeared to be 
  shaking。

  “Why doesn’t that woman understand? I told her the hair and makeup 
  were confirmed。 And then I told her again。 Why did I have to tell 
  her fifty more times? And do you know what she said?”

  I shook my head。

  “Do you know what she said? She said that since this has all been 
  such a headache for her; she’d like me to redo the itinerary so that 
  it will reflect that hair and makeup is now confirmed and fax it to 
  the Ritz so she’ll have the correct one when she arrives。 I do 
  everything for that woman—I give her mylife —and this is how she 
  talks to me in return?” She looked ready to cry。 I was thrilled for 
  the rare opportunity to see Emily turn on Miranda; but I knew that 
  aRunway Paranoid Turnaround was imminent; so I had to proceed with 
  caution。 Strike just the right note of sympathy and indifference。

  “It’s not you; Em; I promise。 She knows how hard you work—you’re an 
  amazing assistant to her。 If she didn’t think you did a great job; 
  she’d have gotten rid of you already。 She’s not exactly scared to do 
  it—you know what I mean?”

  Emily had stopped tearing and was approaching the defiant zone 
  where; even though she agreed with me; she’d defend Miranda if I 
  said anything too outrageous。 I’d learned about the Stockholm 
  Syndrome in psych; in which the victims identify with their captors; 
  but I hadn’t really understood how it all played out。 Maybe I’d 
  videotape one of the little sessions here between Emily and me and 
  send it to the prof so next year’s freshmen could actually see it 
  happening firsthand。 All efforts to proceed carefully began to feel 
  superhuman; so I took a deep breath and dove right in。

  “She’s a lunatic; Emily;” I said softly and slowly; willing her to 
  agree with me。 “It’s not you; it’s her。 She’s an empty; shallow; 
  b

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