战争与和平(上)-第378章

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r　comments　elaborated　in　their　little　mental　factory。　This　rare　happiness　is　given　only　by　those　real　women；　gifted　with　a　faculty　for　picking　out　and　assimilating　all　that　is　best　in　what　a　man　shows　them。　Natasha；　though　herself　unconscious　of　it；　was　all　rapt　attention；　she　did　not　lost　one　word；　one　quaver　of　the　voice；　one　glance；　one　twitching　in　the　facial　muscles；　one　gesture　of　Pierre’s。　She　caught　the　word　before　it　was　uttered　and　bore　it　straight　to　her　open　heart；　divining　the　secret　import　of　all　Pierre’s　spiritual　travail。
Princess　Marya　understood　his　story　and　sympathised　with　him；　but　she　was　seeing　now　something　else　that　absorbed　all　her　attention。　She　saw　the　possibility　of　love　and　happiness　between　Natasha　and　Pierre。　And　this　idea；　which　struck　her　now　for　the　first　time；　filled　her　heart　with　gladness。
It　was　three　o’clock　in　the　night。　The　footmen；　with　melancholy　and　severe　faces；　came　in　with　fresh　candles；　but　no　one　noticed　them。
Pierre　finished　his　story。　With　shining；　eager　eyes　Natasha　still　gazed　intently　and　persistently　at　him；　as　though　she　longed　to　understand　something　more；　that　perhaps　he　had　left　unsaid。　In　shamefaced　and　happy　confusion；　Pierre　glanced　at　her　now　and　then；　and　was　thinking　what　to　say　now　to　change　the　subject。　Princess　Marya　was　mute。　It　did　not　strike　any　of　them　that　it　was　three　o’clock　in　the　night；　and　time　to　be　in　bed。
“They　say：　sufferings　are　misfortunes；”　said　Pierre。　“But　if　at　once；　this　minute；　I　was　asked；　would　I　remain　what　I　was　before　I　was　taken　prisoner；　or　go　through　it　all　again；　I　should　say；　for　God’s　sake　let　me　rather　be　a　prisoner　and　eat　horseflesh　again。　We　imagine　that　as　soon　as　we　are　torn　out　of　our　habitual　path　all　is　over；　but　it　is　only　the　beginning　of　something　new　and　good。　As　long　as　there　is　life；　there　is　happiness。　There　is　a　great　deal；　a　great　deal　before　us。　That　I　say　to　you；”　he　said；　turning　to　Natasha。
“Yes；　yes；”　she　said；　answering　something　altogether　different；　“and　I　too　would　ask　for　nothing　better　than　to　go　through　it　all　again。”
Pierre　looked　intently　at　her。
“Yes；　and　nothing　more；”　Natasha　declared。
“Not　true；　not　true；”　cried　Pierre。　“I　am　not　to　blame　for　being　alive　and　wanting　to　live；　and　you　the　same。”
All　at　once　Natasha　let　her　head　drop　into　her　hands；　and　burst　into　tears。
“What　is　it；　Natasha？”　said　Princess　Marya。
“Nothing；　nothing。”　She　smiled　through　her　tears　to　Pierre。　“Good…night；　it’s　bedtime。”
Pierre　got　up；　and　took　leave。
Natasha；　as　she　always　did；　went　with　Princess　Marya　into　her　bedroom。　They　talked　of　what　Pierre　had　told　them。　Princess　Marya　did　not　give　her　opinion　of　Pierre。　Natasha；　too；　did　not　talk　of　him。
“Well；　good…night；　Marie；”　said　Natasha。　“Do　you　know　I　am　often　afraid　that　we　don’t　talk　of　him”　（she　meant　Prince　Andrey）；　“as　though　we　were　afraid　of　desecrating　our　feelings；　and　so　we　forget　him。”
Princess　Marya　sighed　heavily；　and　by　this　sigh　acknowledged　the　justice　of　Natasha’s　words；　but　she　did　not　in　words　agree　with　her。
“Is　it　possible　to　forget？”　she　said。
“I　was　so　glad　to　tell　all　about　it　to…day；　it　was　hard　and　painful；　and　yet　I　was　glad　to　…　very　glad；”　said　Natasha；　“I　am　sure　that　he　really　loved　him。　That　was　why　I　told　him　…　it　didn’t　matter　my　telling　him？”　she　asked　suddenly；　blushing。
“Pierre？　Oh；　no！　How　good　he　is；”　said　Princess　Marya。
“Do　you　know；　Marie；”　said　Natasha；　suddenly；　with　a　mischievous　smile；　such　as　Princess　Marya　had　not　seen　for　a　long　while　on　her　face。　“He　has　become　so　clean　and　smooth　and　fresh；　as　though　he　had　just　come　out　of　a　bath；　do　you　understand？　Out　of　a　moral　bath。　Isn’t　it　so？”
“Yes；”　said　Princess　Marya。　“He　has　gained　a　great　deal。”
“And　his　short　jacket；　and　his　cropped　hair；　exactly　as　though　he　had　just　come　out　of　a　bath　…　papa　used　sometimes　…”
“I　can　understand　how　he”　（Prince　Andrey）　“cared　for　no　one　else　as　he　did　for　him；”　said　Princess　Marya。
“Yes；　and　he　is　so　different　from　him。　They　say　men　are　better　friends　when　they　are　utterly　different。　That　must　be　true；　he　is　not　a　bit　like　him　in　anything；　is　he？”
“Yes；　and　he　is　such　a　splendid　fellow。”
“Well；　good…night；”　answered　Natasha。　And　the　same　mischievous　smile　lingered　a　long　while　as　though　forgotten　on　her　face。


Chapter　18
FOR　A　LONG　WHILE　Pierre　could　not　sleep　that　night。　He　walked　up　and　down　his　room；　at　one　moment　frowning　deep　in　some　difficult　train　of　thought；　at　the　next　shrugging　his　shoulders　and　shaking　himself　and　at　the　next　smiling　blissfully。
He　thought　of　Prince　Andrey；　of　Natasha；　of　their　love；　and　at　one　moment　was　jealous　of　her　past；　and　at　the　next　reproached　himself；　and　then　forgave　himself　for　the　feeling。　It　was　six　o’clock　in　the　morning；　and　still　he　paced　the　room。
“Well；　what　is　one　to　do；　if　there’s　no　escaping　it？　What　is　one　to　do？　It　must　be　the　right　thing；　then；”　he　said　to　himself；　and　hurriedly　undressing；　he　got　into　bed；　happy　and　agitated；　but　free　from　doubt　and　hesitation。
“However　strange；　however　impossible　such　happiness；　I　must　do　everything　that　we　may　be　man　and　wife；”　he　said　to　himself。
Several　days　previously　Pierre　had　fixed　on　the　following　Friday　as　the　date　on　which　he　would　set　off　to　Petersburg。　When　he　waked　up　next　day　it　was　Thursday；　and　Savelitch　came　to　him　for　orders　about　packing　the　things　for　the　journey。
“To　Petersburg？　What　is　Petersburg？　Who　is　in　Petersburg？”　he　unconsciously　asked；　though　only　of　himself。　“Yes；　some　long　while　ago；　before　this　happened；　I　was　meaning　for　some　reason　to　go　to　Petersburg；”　he　recalled。　“Why　was　it？　And　I　shall　go；　perhaps。　How　kind　he　is；　and　how　attentive；　how　he　remembers　everything！”　he　thought；　looking　at　Savelitch’s　old　face。　“And　what　a　pleasant　smile！”　he　thought。
“Well；　and　do　you　still　not　want　your　freedom；　Savelitch？”　asked　Pierre。
“What　should　I　want　my　freedom　for；　your　excellency？　With　the　late　count—the　Kingdom　of　Heaven　to　him—we　got　on　very　well；　and　under　you；　we　have　never　known　any　unkindness。”
“Well；　but　your　children？”
“My　children　too　will　do　very　well；　your　excellency；　under　such　masters　one　can　get　on　all　right。”
“Well；　but　my　heirs？”　said　Pierre。　“All　of　a　sudden　I　shall　get　married　…　It　might　happen；　you　know；”　he　added；　with　an　involuntary　smile。
“And　I　make　bold　to　say；　a　good　thing　too；　your　excellency。”
“How　easy　he　thinks　it；”　thought　Pierre。　“He　does　not　know　how　terrible　it　is；　how　perilous。　Too　late　or　too　early　…　It　is　terrible！”
“What　are　your　orders？　Will　you　be　pleased　to　go　to…morrow？”　asked　Savelitch。
“No；　I　will　put　it　off　a　little。　I　will　tell　you　later。　You　must　excuse　the　trouble　I　give　you；”　said　Pierre；　and　watching　Savelitch’s　smile；　he　thought　how　strange　it　was；　though；　that　he　should　not　know　there　was　no　such　thing　as　Petersburg；　and　that　that　must　be　settled　before　everything。
“He　really　does　know；　though；”　he　thought；　“he　is　only　pretending。　Shall　I　tell　him？　What　does　he　think　about　it？　No；　another　time。”
At　breakfast；　Pierre　told　his　cousin　that　he　had　been　the　previous　evening　at　Princess　Marya’s；　and　had　found　there—could　she　fancy　whom—Natasha　Rostov。
The　princess　looked　as　though　she　saw　nothing　more　extraordinary　in　that　fact　than　if　Pierre　had　seen　some　Anna　Semyonovna。
“You　know　her？”　asked　Pierre。
“I　have　seen　the　princess；”　she　answered；　“and　I　had　heard　they　were　making　a　match　between　her　and　young　Rostov。　That　would　be　a　very　fine　thing　for　the　Rostovs；　I　am　told　they　are　utterly　ruined。”
“No；　I　meant；　do　you　know　Natasha　Rostov？”
“I　heard　at　the　time　all　about　that　story。　Very　sad。”
“She　does　not　understand；　or　she　is　pretending；”　thought　Pierre。　“Better　not　tell　her　either。”
The　princess；　too；　had　prepared　provisions　for　Pierre’s　journey。
“How　kind　they　all　are；”　thought　Pierre；　“to　trouble　about　all　this　now；　when　it　certainly　can　be　of　no　interest　to　them。　And　all　for　my　sake；　that　is　what’s　so　marvellous。”
The　same　day　a　police　officer　came　to　see　Pierre；　with　an　offer　to　send　a　trusty　agent　to　the　Polygonal　Palace　to　receive　the　things　that　were　to…day　to　be　restored　among　the　ow