战争与和平(上)-第323章

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ing　him。
With　this　letter　Nikolay　went　next　day　to　call　on　Princess　Marya。　Neither　Nikolay　nor　Princess　Marya　said　a　word　as　to　all　that　was　implied　by　the　words：　“Natasha　is　nursing　him”；　but　thanks　to　this　letter；　Nikolay　was　brought　suddenly　into　intimate　relations；　almost　those　of　a　kinsman　with　the　princess。
Next　day　Rostov　escorted　Princess　Marya　as　far　as　Yaroslavl；　and　a　few　days　later　he　set　off　himself　to　join　his　regiment。


Chapter　8
SONYA’S　LETTER　to　Nikolay；　that　had　come　as　an　answer　to　his　prayer；　was　written　at　Troitsa。　It　had　been　called　forth　in　the　following　way。　The　idea　of　marrying　Nikolay　to　a　wealthy　heiress　had　taken　more　and　more　complete　possession　of　the　old　countess’s　mind。　She　knew　that　Sonya　was　the　great　obstacle　in　the　way　of　this。　And　Sonya’s　life　had　of　late；　and　especially　after　the　letter　in　which　Nikolay　described　his　meeting　with　Princess　Marya　at　Bogutcharovo；　become　more　and　more　difficult　in　the　countess’s　house。　The　countess　never　let　slip　an　opportunity　for　making　some　cruel　or　humiliating　allusion　to　Sonya。　But　a　few　days　before　they　set　out　from　Moscow　the　countess；　distressed　and　overwrought　by　all　that　was　happening；　sent　for　Sonya；　and　instead　of　insistence　and　upbraiding；　besought　her　with　tears　and　entreaties　to　repay　all　that　had　been　done　for　her　by　sacrificing　herself；　and　breaking　off　her　engagement　to　Nikolay。　“I　shall　have　no　peace　of　mind　till　you　make　me　this　promise；”　she　said。
Sonya　sobbed　hysterically；　answered　through　her　sobs　that　she　would　do　anything；　that　she　was　ready　for　anything；　but　she　did　not　give　a　direct　promise；　and　in　her　heart　she　could　not　bring　herself　to　what　was　demanded　of　her。　She　had　to　sacrifice　herself　for　the　happiness　of　the　family　that　had　brought　her　up　and　provided　for　her。　To　sacrifice　herself　for　others　was　Sonya’s　habit。　Her　position　in　the　house　was　such　that　only　by　way　of　sacrifice　could　she　show　her　virtues；　and　she　was　used　to　sacrificing　herself　and　liked　it。　But　in　every　self…sacrificing　action　hitherto　she　had　been　happily　conscious　that　by　her　very　self…sacrifice　she　was　heightening　her　value　in　the　eyes　of　herself　and　others；　and　becoming　worthier　of　Nikolay；　whom　she　loved　beyond　everything　in　life。　But　now　her　sacrifice　would　consist　in　the　renunciation　of　what　constituted　for　her　the　whole　reward　of　sacrifice；　and　the　whole　meaning　of　life。　And　for　the　first　time　in　her　life　she　felt　bitterness　against　the　people　who　had　befriended　her　only　to　torment　her　more　poignantly：　she　felt　envy　of　Natasha；　who　had　never　had　any　experience　of　the　kind；　who　had　never　been　required　to　make　sacrifices；　and　made　other　people　sacrifice　themselves　for　her；　and　was　yet　loved　by　every　one。　And　for　the　first　time　Sonya　felt　that　there　was　beginning　to　grow　up　out　of　her　quiet；　pure　love　for　Nikolay　a　passionate　feeling；　which　stood　above　all　principles；　and　virtue；　and　religion。　And　under　the　influence　of　that　passion；　Sonya；　whose　life　of　dependence　had　unconsciously　trained　her　to　reserve；　gave　the　countess　vague；　indefinite　answers；　avoided　talking　with　her；　and　resolved　to　wait　for　a　personal　interview　with　Nikolay；　not　to　set　him　free；　but；　on　the　contrary；　to　bind　him　to　her　for　ever。
The　fuss　and　the　horror　of　the　Rostovs’　last　days　in　Moscow　had　smothered　the　gloomy　thoughts　that　were　weighing　on　Sonya。　She　was　glad　to　find　an　escape　from　them　in　practical　work。　But　when　she　heard　of　Prince　Andrey’s　presence　in　their　house；　in　spite　of　all　the　genuine　compassion　she　felt　for　him；　and　for　Natasha；　a　joyful　and　superstitious　feeling　that　it　was　God’s　will　that　she　should　not　be　parted　from　Nikolay　took　possession　of　her。　She　knew　Natasha　loved　no　one　but　Prince　Andrey；　and　had　never　ceased　to　love　him。　She　knew　that　brought　together　now；　under　such　terrible　circumstances；　they　would　love　one　another　again；　and　that　then；　owing　to　the　relationship　that　would　（in　accordance　with　the　laws　of　the　Orthodox　Church）　exist　between　them；　Nikolay　could　not　be　married　to　Princess　Marya。　In　spite　of　all　the　awfulness　of　what　was　happening　during　the　last　day　or　two　in　Moscow　and　the　first　days　of　the　journey；　that　feeling；　that　consciousness　of　the　intervention　of　Providence　in　her　personal　affairs；　was　a　source　of　joy　to　Sonya。　At　the　Troitsa　monastery　the　Rostovs　made　the　first　break　in　their　journey。
In　the　hostel　of　the　monastery　three　big　rooms　were　assigned　to　the　Rostovs；　one　of　which　was　occupied　by　Prince　Andrey。　The　wounded　man　was　by　this　time　a　great　deal　better。　Natasha　was　sitting　with　him。　In　the　next　room　were　the　count　and　the　countess　reverently　conversing　with　the　superior；　who　was　paying　a　visit　to　his　old　acquaintances　and　patrons。　Sonya　was　sitting　with　them；　fretted　by　curiosity　as　to　what　Prince　Andrey　and　Natasha　were　saying。　She　heard　the　sounds　of　their　voices　through　the　door。　The　door　of　Prince　Andrey’s　room　opened。　Natasha　came　out　with　an　excited　face；　and　not　noticing　the　monk；　who　rose　to　meet　her；　and　pulled　back　his　wide　sleeve　off　his　right　hand；　she　went　up　to　Sonya　and　took　her　by　the　arm。
“Natasha；　what　are　you　about？　Come　here；”　said　the　countess。
Natasha　went　up　to　receive　the　blessing；　and　the　superior　counselled　her　to　turn　for　aid　to　God　and　to　His　saint。
Immediately　after　the　superior　had　gone　out；　Natasha　took　her　friend　by　the　arm；　and　went　with　her　into　the　empty　third　room。
“Sonya；　yes；　he　will　live；”　she　said。　“Sonya；　how　happy　I　am；　and　how　wretched！　Sonya；　darling；　everything　is　just　as　it　used　to　be。　If　only　he　were　going　to　live。　He　cannot；　…　because　…　be　…　cause　…”　and　Natasha　burst　into　tears。
“Yes！　I　knew　it　would　be！　Thank　God；”　said　Sonya。　“He　will　live。”
Sonya　was　no　less　excited　than　her　friend；　both　by　the　latter’s　grief　and　fears；　and　by　her　own　personal　reflections；　of　which　she　had　spoken　to　no　one。　Sobbing；　she　kissed　and　comforted　Natasha。　“If　only　he　were　to　live！”　she　thought。　After　weeping；　talking　a　little；　and　wiping　their　tears；　the　two　friends　went　towards　Prince　Andrey’s　door。　Natasha；　cautiously　opening　the　door；　glanced　into　the　room。　Sonya　stood　beside　her　at　the　half…open　door。
Prince　Andrey　was　lying　raised　high　on　three　pillows。　His　pale　face　looked　peaceful；　his　eyes　were　closed；　and　they　could　see　his　quiet；　regular　breathing。
“Ah；　Natasha！”　Sonya　almost　shrieked　all　of　a　sudden；　clutching　at　her　cousin’s　arm；　and　moving　back　away　from　the　door。
“What！　what　is　it？”　asked　Natasha
“It’s　the　same；　the　same；　you　know　…”　said　Sonya；　with　a　white　face　and　quivering　lips。
Natasha　softly　closed　the　door　and　walked　away　with　Sonya　to　the　window；　not　yet　understanding　what　she　was　talking　of。
“Do　you　remember；”　said　Sonya；　with　a　scared　and　solemn　face；　“do　you　remember　when　I　looked　into　the　mirror　for　you　…　at　Otradnoe　at　Christmas　time　…　Do　you　remember　what　I　saw？”　…
“Yes；　yes；”　said　Natasha；　opening　her　eyes　wide；　and　vaguely　recalling　that　Sonya　had　said　something　then　about　seeing　Prince　Andrey　lying　down。
“Do　you　remember？”　Sonya　went　on。　“I　saw　him　then；　and　told　you　all　so　at　the　time；　you　and　Dunyasha。　I　saw　him　lying　on　a　bed；”　she　said；　at　each　detail　making　a　gesture　with　her　lifted　finger；　“and　that　he　had　his　eyes　shut；　and　that　he　was　covered　with　a　pink　quilt；　and　that　he　had　his　hands　folded；”　said　Sonya；　convinced　as　she　described　the　details　she　had　just　seen　that　they　were　the　very　details　she　had　seen　then。　At　the　time　she　had　seen　nothing；　but　had　said　she　was　seeing　the　first　thing　that　came　into　her　head。　But　what　she　had　invented　then　seemed　to　her　now　as　real　a　memory　as　any　other。　She　not　only　remembered　that　she　had　said　at　the　time　that　he　looked　round　at　her　and　smiled；　and　was　covered　with　something　red；　but　was　firmly　convinced　that　she　had　seen　and　said　at　the　time；　that　he　was　covered　with　a　pink　quilt—yes；　pink—and　that　his　eyes　had　been　closed。
“Yes；　yes；　pink　it　was；”　said　Natasha；　who　began　now　to　fancy　too　that　she　remembered　her　saying　it　was　a　pink　quilt；　and　saw　in　that　detail　the　most　striking　and　mysterious　point　in　the　prediction。
“But　what　does　it　mean？”　said　Natasha　dreamily。
“Ah；　I　don’t　know；　how　extraordinary　it　all　is！”　said　Sonya；　clutching