战争与和平(上)-第174章

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e　this　with　her　for　ever！”
“What　a　darling　this　Nikolay　of　mine　is！”　Natasha　was　thinking。
“Ah！　Still　a　light　in　the　drawing…room；”　she　said；　pointing　to　the　windows　of　their　house　gleaming　attractively　in　the　wet；　velvety　darkness　of　the　night。


Chapter　8
COUNT　ILYA　ANDREITCH　had　given　up　being　a　marshal　of　nobility；　because　that　position　involved　too　heavy　an　expenditure。　But　his　difficulties　were　not　removed　by　that。　Often　Natasha　and　Nikolay　knew　of　uneasy；　private　consultations　between　their　parents；　and　heard　talk　of　selling　the　sumptuous　ancestral　house　of　the　Rostovs　and　the　estate　near　Moscow。　When　the　count　was　no　longer　marshal　it　was　not　necessary　to　entertain　on　such　a　large　scale；　and　they　led　a　quieter　life　at　Otradnoe　than　in　former　years。　But　the　immense　house　and　the　lodges　were　still　full　of　people；　more　than　twenty　persons　still　sat　down　to　table　with　them。　These　were　all　their　own　people；　time…honoured　inmates　of　their　household；　almost　members　of　the　family；　or　persons　who　must；　it　seemed；　inevitably　live　in　the　count’s　house。　Such　were　Dimmler；　the　music…master；　and　his　wife；　Vogel　the　dancing…master；　with　his　family；　an　old　Madame　Byelov；　and　many　others　besides；　Petya’s　tutors；　the　girls’　old　governess；　and　persons　who　simply　found　it　better　or　more　profitable　to　live　at　the　count’s　than　in　a　house　of　their　own。　They　did　not　entertain　so　many　guests　as　before；　but　they　still　lived　in　that　manner；　apart　from　which　the　count　and　countess　could　not　have　conceived　of　life　at　all。　There　was　still　the　same　hunting　establishment；　increased　indeed　by　Nikolay。　There　were　still　the　same　fifty　horses　and　fifteen　grooms　in　the　stables；　the　same　costly　presents　on　name…days；　and　ceremonial　dinners　to　the　whole　neighbourhood。　There　were　still　the　count’s　games　of　whist　and　boston；　at　which；　letting　every　one　see　his　cards；　he　allowed　himself　to　be　plundered　every　day　of　hundreds　by　his　neighbours；　who　looked　upon　the　privilege　of　making　up　a　rubber　with　Count　Ilya　Andreitch　as　a　profitable　investment。
The　count　went　into　his　affairs　as　though　walking　into　a　huge　net；　trying　not　to　believe　that　he　was　entangled；　and　at　every　step　getting　more　and　more　entangled；　and　feeling　too　feeble　either　to　tear　the　nets　that　held　him　fast；　or　with　care　and　patience　to　set　about　disentangling　them。　The　countess　with　her　loving　heart　felt　that　her　children　were　being　ruined；　that　the　count　was　not　to　blame；　that　he　could　not　help　being　what　he　was；　that　he　was　distressed　himself　（though　he　tried　to　conceal　it）　at　the　consciousness　of　his　own　and　his　children’s　ruin；　and　was　seeking　means　to　improve　their　position。　To　her　feminine　mind　only　one　way　of　doing　so　occurred—that　was；　to　marry　Nikolay　to　a　wealthy　heiress。　She　felt　that　this　was　their　last　hope；　and　that　if　Nikolay　were　to　refuse　the　match　she　had　found　for　him　she　must　bid　farewell　for　ever　to　all　chance　of　improving　their　position。　This　match　was　Julie　Karagin；　the　daughter　of　excellent　and　virtuous　parents；　known　to　the　Rostovs　from　childhood；　and　now　left　a　wealthy　heiress　by　the　death　of　her　last　surviving　brother。
The　countess　wrote　directly　to　Madame　Karagin　in　Moscow；　suggesting　to　her　the　marriage　of　her　daughter　to　her　own　son；　and　received　a　favourable　reply　from　her。　Madame　Karagin　replied　that　she　was　quite　ready　for　her　part　to　consent　to　the　match；　but　everything　must　depend　on　her　daughter’s　inclinations。　Madame　Karagin　invited　Nikolay　to　come　to　Moscow。　Several　times　the　countess；　with　tears　in　her　eyes；　had　told　her　son　that　now　that　both　her　daughters　were　settled；　her　only　wish　was　to　see　him　married。　She　said　that　she　could　rest　quietly　in　her　grave　if　this　were　settled。　Then　she　would　say　that　she　had　an　excellent　girl　in　her　eye；　and　would　try　and　get　from　him　his　views　on　matrimony。
On　other　occasions　she　praised　Julie　and　advised　Nikolay　to　go　to　Moscow　for　the　holidays　to　amuse　himself　a　little。　Nikolay　guessed　what　his　mother’s　hints　were　aiming　at；　and　on　one　such　occasion　he　forced　her　to　complete　frankness。　She　told　him　plainly　that　all　hope　of　improving　their　position　rested　now　on　his　marrying　Julie　Karagin。
“What；　if　I　loved　a　girl　with　no　fortune　would　you　really　desire　me；　mamma；　to　sacrifice　my　feeling　and　my　honour　for　the　sake　of　money？”　he　asked　his　mother；　with　no　notion　of　the　cruelty　of　his　question；　but　simply　wishing　to　show　his　noble　sentiments。
“No；　you　misunderstand　me；”　said　his　mother；　not　knowing　how　to　retrieve　her　mistake。　“You　misunderstand　me；　Nikolenka。　It　is　your　happiness　I　wish　for；”　she　added；　and　she　felt　she　was　speaking　falsely；　that　she　was　blundering。　She　burst　into　tears。
“Mamma；　don’t　cry；　and　only　tell　me　that　you　wish　it；　and　you　know　that　I　would　give　my　whole　life；　everything　for　your　peace　of　mind；”　said　Nikolay；　“I　will　sacrifice　everything　for　you；　even　my　feelings。”
But　the　countess　did　not　want　the　question　put　like　that；　she　did　not　want　to　receive　sacrifices　from　her　son；　she　would　have　liked　to　sacrifice　herself　to　him。
“No；　you　don’t　understand　me；　don’t　let　us　talk　of　it；”　she　said；　wiping　away　her　tears。
“Yes；　perhaps　I　really　do　love　a　poor　girl；”　Nikolay　said　to　himself；　“what；　am　I　to　sacrifice　my　feeling　and　my　honour　for　fortune？　I　wonder　how　mamma　could　say　such　a　thing。　Because　Sonya　is　poor　I　must　not　love　her；”　he　thought；　“I　must　not　respond　to　her　faithful；　devoted　love。　And　it　is　certain　I　should　be　happier　with　her　than　with　any　doll　of　a　Julie。　To　sacrifice　my　feelings　for　the　welfare　of　my　family　I　can　always　do；”　he　said　to　himself；　“but　I　can’t　control　my　feelings。　If　I　love　Sonya；　that　feeling　is　more　than　anything　and　above　anything　for　me。”
Nikolay　did　not　go　to　Moscow；　the　countess　did　not　renew　her　conversations　with　him　about　matrimony；　and　with　grief；　and　sometimes　with　exasperation；　saw　symptoms　of　a　growing　attachment　between　her　son　and　the　portionless　Sonya。　She　blamed　herself　for　it；　yet　could　not　refrain　from　scolding　and　upbraiding　Sonya；　often　reproving　her　without　cause　and　addressing　her　as　“my　good　girl。”　What　irritated　the　kind…hearted　countess　more　than　anything　was　that　this　poor；　dark…eyed　niece　was　so　meek；　so　good；　so　devoutly　grateful　to　her　benefactors；　and　so　truly；　so　constantly；　and　so　unselfishly　in　love　with　Nikolay　that　it　was　impossible　to　find　any　fault　with　her。
Nikolay　went　on　spending　his　term　of　leave　with　his　parents。　From　Prince　Andrey　a　fourth　letter　had　been　received　from　Rome。　In　it　he　wrote　that　he　would　long　ago　have　been　on　his　way　back　to　Russia；　but　that　in　the　warm　climate　his　wound　had　suddenly　re…opened；　which　would　compel　him　to　defer　his　return　till　the　beginning　of　the　new　year。　Natasha　was　as　much　in　love　with　her　betrothed；　as　untroubled　in　her　love；　and　as　ready　to　throw　herself　into　all　the　pleasures　of　life　as　ever。　But　towards　the　end　of　the　fourth　month　of　their　separation　she　began　to　suffer　from　fits　of　depression；　against　which　she　was　unable　to　contend。　She　felt　sorry　for　herself；　sorry　that　all　this　time　should　be　wasted　and　be　of　no　use　to　any　one；　while　she　felt　such　capacity　for　loving　and　being　loved。
Life　was　not　gay　in　the　Rostovs’　household。


Chapter　9
CHRISTMAS　came　and　except　for　the　High　Mass；　the　solemn　and　wearisome　congratulations　to　neighbours　and　house…serfs；　and　the　new　gowns　donned　by　every　one；　nothing　special　happened　to　mark　the　holidays；　though　the　still　weather　with　twenty　degrees　of　frost；　the　dazzling　sunshine　by　day　and　the　bright；　starlit　sky　at　night　seemed　to　call　for　some　special　celebration　of　the　season。
On　the　third　day　of　Christmas　week；　after　dinner；　all　the　members　of　the　household　had　separated　and　gone　to　their　respective　rooms。　It　was　the　dullest　time　of　the　day。　Nikolay；　who　had　been　calling　on　neighbours　in　the　morning；　was　asleep　in　the　divan…room。　The　old　count　was　resting　in　his　own　room。　In　the　drawing…room　Sonya　was　sitting　at　a　round　table　copying　a　design　for　embroidery。　The　countess　was　playing　patience。　Nastasya　Ivanovna；　the　buffoon；　with　a　dejected　countenance；　was　sitting　in　the　window　with　two　old　ladies。　Natasha　came　into　the　room；　went　up　to　Sonya；　looked　at　what　she　was　doing；　then　went　up　to　her　m