战争与和平(上)-第160章

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Chapter　23
TO　GET　MARRIED　his　father’s　consent　was　wanted；　and　to　obtain　this　Prince　Andrey　set　off　to　see　his　father。
The　father　received　his　son’s　communication　with　external　composure　but　with　inward　wrath。　He　could　not　comprehend　how　any　one　could　want　to　alter　his　life；　to　introduce　any　new　element　into　it；　when　life　was　for　him　so　near　its　end。　“If　they　would　only　let　me　live　my　life　out　as　I　want　to；　and　then　do　as　they　like！”　the　old　man　said　to　himself。　With　his　son；　however；　he　made　use　of　that　diplomacy　to　which　he　always　had　resort　in　case　of　gravity。　Assuming　a　calm　tone；　he　went　into　the　whole　question　judicially。
In　the　first　place；　the　marriage　was　not　a　brilliant　one　from　the　point　of　view　of　birth；　fortune；　or　distinction。　Secondly；　Prince　Andrey　was　not　in　his　first　youth；　and　was　delicate　in　health　（the　old　man　laid　special　stress　on　this）；　and　the　girl　was　very　young。　Thirdly；　there　was　his　son；　whom　it　would　be　a　pity　to　entrust　to　a　mere　girl。　“Fourthly；　and　finally；”　said　the　father；　looking　ironically　at　his　son；　“I　beg　you　to　defer　the　matter　for　a　year；　go　abroad；　and　get　well；　find　a　German；　as　you　want　to　do　so；　for　Prince　Nikolay；　and　then；　if　your　love；　your　passion；　your　obstinacy—what　you　choose—are　so　great；　then　get　married。　And　that’s　my　last　word　on　the　subject；　you　know；　the　last　…”　the　old　prince　concluded；　in　a　tone　that　showed　that　nothing　would　compel　him　to　alter　his　decision。
Prince　Andrey　saw　clearly　that　the　old　man　hoped　that　either　his　feeling　or　that　of　his　betrothed　would　not　stand　the　test　of　a　year　or　that　he；　the　old　prince；　would　die　himself　in　the　course　of　it；　and　he　decided　to　act　in　accordance　with　his　father’s　wish；　to　make　an　offer　and　to　defer　the　marriage　for　a　year。
Three　weeks　after　his　last　visit　to　the　Rostovs；　Prince　Andrey　returned　to　Petersburg。
The　day　after　her　conversation　with　her　mother；　Natasha　spent　the　whole　day　expecting　Bolkonsky　but　he　did　not　come。　The　next　day；　and　the　third；　it　was　just　the　same。　Pierre　too　stayed　away；　and　Natasha；　not　knowing　Prince　Andrey　had　gone　away　to　see　his　father；　did　not　know　how　to　interpret　his　absence。
So　passed　the　three　weeks。　Natasha　would　not　go　out　anywhere；　and　wandered　like　a　shadow　about　the　house；　idle　and　listless；　wept　at　night　in　secret；　and　did　not　go　in　to　her　mother　in　the　evenings。　She　was　continually　flushing　and　very　irritable。　It　seemed　to　her　that　every　one　knew　of　her　disappointment；　was　laughing　at　her；　and　pitying　her。　In　spite　of　all　the　intensity　of　her　inward　grief；　the　wound　to　her　vanity　aggravated　her　misery。
She　came　in　to　the　countess　one　day；　tried　to　say　something；　and　all　at　once　burst　into　tears。　Her　tears　were　the　tears　of　an　offended　child；　who　does　not　know　why　it　is　being　punished。　The　countess　tried　to　comfort　Natasha。　At　first　she　listened　to　her　mother’s　words；　but　suddenly　she　interrupted　her：
“Stop；　mamma；　I　don’t　think　of　him　or　want　to　think　of　him！　Why；　he　kept　coming；　and　he　has　left　off；　and　he　has　left　off　…”　Her　voice　quivered；　she　almost　began　to　cry；　but　recovered　herself；　and　went　on　calmly：
“And　I　don’t　want　to　be　married　at　all。　And　I’m　afraid　of　him；　I　have　quite；　quite　got　over　it　now…”
The　day　after　this　conversation；　Natasha　put　on　the　old　dress　she　specially　associated　with　the　fun　she　had　often　had　when　wearing　it　in　the　mornings；　and　began　from　early　morning　to　take　up　her　old　manner　of　life；　which　she　had　given　up　ever　since　the　ball。　After　morning　tea；　she　went　into　the　big　hall；　which　she　particularly　liked　on　account　of　the　loud　resonance　in　it；　and　began　singing　her　sol…fa　exercises。　When　she　had　finished　the　first　exercise　she　stood　still　in　the　middle　of　the　room　and　repeated　a　single　musical　phrase　which　particularly　pleased　her。　She　listened　with　delight；　as　though　it　were　new　to　her；　to　the　charm　of　these　notes　ringing　out；　filling　the　empty　space　of　the　great　room　and　dying　slowly　away；　and　she　felt　all　at　once　cheerful。　“Why　think　so　much　about　it；　things　are　nice　even　as　it　is；”　she　said　to　herself；　and　she　began　walking　up　and　down　the　room；　not　putting　her　feet　simply　down　on　the　resounding　parquet；　but　at　each　step　bending　her　foot　from　the　heel　to　the　toe　（she　had　on　some　new　shoes　she　particularly　liked）；　and　listening　to　the　regular　tap　of　the　heel　and　creak　of　the　toe　with　the　same　pleasure　with　which　she　had　listened　to　the　sound　of　her　own　voice。　Passing　by　the　looking…glass；　she　glanced　into　it。　“Yes；　that’s　me！”　the　expression　of　her　face　seemed　to　say　at　the　sight　of　herself。　“Well；　and　very　nice　too。　And　I　need　nobody。”
A　footman　would　have　come　in　to　clear　away　something　in　the　room；　but　she　would　not　let　him　come　in。　She　shut　the　door　after　him；　and　continued　her　promenade　about　the　room。　She　had　come　back　that　morning　to　her　favourite　mood　of　loving　herself　and　being　ecstatic　over　herself。　“What　a　charming　creature　that　Natasha　is！”　she　said　again　of　herself；　speaking　as　some　third　person；　a　generic；　masculine　person。
“Pretty；　a　voice；　young；　and　she’s　in　nobody’s　way；　only　leave　her　in　peace。”　But；　however　much　she　might　be　left　in　peace；　she　could　not　now　be　at　peace；　and　she　felt　that　immediately。
In　the　vestibule　the　hall…door　opened；　someone　was　asking；　“At　home？”　and　steps　were　audible。　Natasha　was　looking　at　herself　in　the　glass；　but　she　did　not　see　herself。　She　heard　sounds　in　the　vestibule。　When　she　saw　herself；　her　face　was　pale。　It　was　he。　She　knew　it　for　certain；　though　she　herself　caught　the　sound　of　his　voice　at　the　opened　door。
Natasha；　pale　and　panic…stricken；　flew　into　the　drawing…room。
“Mamma；　Bolkonsky　has　come；”　she　said。　“Mamma；　this　is　awful；　unbearable！　…　I　don’t　want　…　to　be　tortured！　What　am　I　to　do？”
The　countess　had　not　time　to　answer　her　before　Prince　Andrey　with　a　troubled　and　serious　face　walked　into　the　drawing…room。　As　soon　as　he　saw　Natasha　his　face　beamed　with　delight。　He　kissed　the　countess’s　hand　and　Natasha’s；　and　sat　down　beside　the　sofa。
“It’s　a　long　while　since　we　have　had　the　pleasure　…”　the　countess　was　beginning；　but　Prince　Andrey　cut　her　short；　answering　her　implied　question；　and　obviously　in　haste　to　say　what　he　had　to　say。
“I　have　not　been　to　see　you　all　this　time　because　I　have　been　to　see　my　father；　I　had　to　talk　over　a　very　important　matter　with　him。　I　only　returned　last　night；”　he　said；　glancing　at　Natasha。　“I　want　to　have　a　talk　with　you；　countess；”　he　added　after　a　moment’s　silence。
The　countess　dropped　her　eyes；　sighing　heavily。
“I　am　at　your　disposal；”　she　brought　out。
Natasha　knew　she　ought　to　go；　but　she　was　unable　to　do　so：　something　seemed　gripping　her　throat；　and；　regardless　of　civility；　she　stared　straight　at　Prince　Andrey　with　wide…open　eyes。
“At　once？　…　This　minute？　…　No；　it　cannot　be！”　she　was　thinking。
He　glanced　at　her　again；　and　that　glance　convinced　her　that　she　was　not　mistaken。　Yes；　at　once；　this　very　minute　her　fate　was　to　be　decided。
“Run　away；　Natasha；　I　will　call　you；”　the　countess　whispered。
With　frightened　and　imploring　eyes　Natasha　glanced　at　Prince　Andrey　and　at　her　mother；　and　went　out。
“I　have　come；　countess；　to　ask　for　your　daughter’s　hand；”　said　Prince　Andrey。
The　countess’s　face　flushed　hotly；　but　she　said　nothing。
“Your　offer　…”　the　countess　began　at　last；　sedately。　He　sat　silent；　looking　into　her　face。　“Your　offer”　…　（she　hesitated　in　confusion）　“is　agreeable　to　us；　and　…　I　accept　your　offer。　I　am　glad　of　it。　And　my　husband　…　I　hope　…　but　it　must　rest　with　herself　…”
“I　will　speak　to　her；　when　I　have　received　your　consent。…Do　you　give　it　me？”　said　Prince　Andrey。
“Yes；”　said　the　countess；　and　she　held　out　her　hand　to　him；　and　with　mingled　feelings　of　aversion　and　tenderness　she　pressed　her　lips　to　his　forehead　as　he　bent　to　kiss　her　hand。　Her　wish　was　to　love　him　as　a　son；　but　she　felt　that　he　was　a　man　alien　to　her；　and　that　she　was　afraid　of　him。
“I　am　sure　my　husband　will　consent；”　said　the　countess；　“but　your　father　…”
“My　father；　whom　I　have　informed　of　my　plans；　has　made　it　an　express　condition　that　the　marriage　should　not　take　place　for　a　year。　That　too；　I　meant　to　speak　of　to　you；”　said　Prince　Andrey。
“It　is　true　t