战争与和平(上)-第159章

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Chapter　22
NEXT　DAY　Prince　Andrey　went　to　dine　at　the　Rostovs’；　as　Count　Ilya　Andreitch　had　invited　him；　and　spent　the　whole　day　with　them。
Every　one　in　the　house　perceived　on　whose　account　Prince　Andrey　came；　and　he　openly　tried　to　be　all　day　long　with　Natasha。
Not　only　in　the　soul　of　Natasha—scared；　but　happy　and　enthusiastic—in　the　whole　household；　too；　there　was　a　feeling　of　awe；　of　something　of　great　gravity　being　bound　to　happen。　With　sorrowful　and　sternly　serious　eyes　the　countess　looked　at　Prince　Andrey　as　he　talked　to　Natasha；　and　shyly　and　self…consciously　tried　to　begin　some　insignificant　talk　with　him　as　soon　as　he　looked　round　at　her。　Sonya　was　afraid　to　leave　Natasha；　and　afraid　of　being　in　their　way　if　she　stayed　with　them。　Natasha　turned　pale　in　a　panic　of　expectation　every　time　she　was　left　for　a　moment　alone　with　him。　Prince　Andrey’s　timidity　impressed　her。　She　felt　that　he　wanted　to　tell　her　something；　but　could　not　bring　himself　up　to　the　point。
When　Prince　Andrey　had　gone　away　in　the　evening；　the　countess　went　up　to　Natasha　and　whispered：
“Well？”
“Mamma；　for　God’s　sake；　don’t　ask　me　anything　just　now。　This　one　can’t　talk　of；”　said　Natasha。
But　in　spite　of　this　answer；　Natasha　lay　a　long　while　in　her　mother’s　bed　that　night；　her　eyes　fixed　before　her；　excited　and　scared　by　turns。　She　told　her　how　he　had　praised　her；　how　he　had　said　he　was　going　abroad；　how　he　had　asked　where　they　were　going　to　spend　the　summer；　and　how　he　had　asked　her　about　Boris。
“But　anything　like　this；　like　this　…　I　have　never　felt　before！”　she　said。　“Only　I’m　afraid　with　him；　I’m　always　afraid　with　him。　What　does　that　mean？　Does　it　mean　that　it’s　the　real　thing？　Mamma；　are　you　asleep？”
“No；　my　darling。　I’m　afraid　of　him　myself；”　answered　her　mother。　“Go　to　bed。”
“Anyhow；　I　shouldn’t　go　to　sleep。　How　stupid　sleep　is！　Mamma；　mamma；　nothing　like　this　have　I　ever　felt　before；”　she　said；　with　wonder　and　terror　at　the　feeling　she　recognised　in　herself。　“And　could　we　ever　have　dreamed！　…”
It　seemed　to　Natasha　that　she　had　fallen　in　love　with　Prince　Andrey　the　first　time　she　saw　him　at　Otradnoe。　She　was　as　it　were　terrified　at　this　strange；　unexpected　happiness　that　the　man　she　had　chosen　even　then　（she　was　firmly　convinced　that　she　had　done　so）—that　very　man　should　meet　them　again　now　and　be　apparently　not　indifferent　to　her。
“And　it　seems　as　though　it　all　happened　on　purpose—his　coming　to　Petersburg　just　while　we　are　here。　And　our　meeting　at　that　ball。　It　was　all　fate。　It’s　clear　that　it　is　fate；　that　it　has　all　led　up　to　this。　Even　then；　as　soon　as　I　saw　him；　I　felt　something　quite　different。”
“What　has　he　said　to　you？　What　are　those　verses？　Read　them　…”　said　the　mother　thoughtfully；　referring　to　the　verses　Prince　Andrey　had　written　in　Natasha’s　album。
“Mamma；　does　it　matter　his　being　a　widower？”
“Hush；　Natasha。　Pray　to　God。　Marriages　are　made　in　heaven；”　she　said；　quoting　the　French　proverb。
“Mamma；　darling；　how　I　love　you！　how　happy　I　am！”　cried　Natasha；　shedding　tears　of　excitement　and　happiness　and　hugging　her　mother。
At　that　very　time　Prince　Andrey　was　telling　Pierre　of　his　love　for　Natasha　and　of　his　fixed　determination　to　marry　her。
That　evening　the　Countess　Elena　Vassilyevna　gave　a　reception；　the　French　ambassador　was　there；　and　a　royal　prince　who　had　become　a　very　frequent　visitor　at　the　countess’s　of　late　and　many　brilliant　ladies　and　gentlemen。　Pierre　came　down　to　it；　wandered　through　the　rooms　and　impressed　all　the　guests　by　his　look　of　concentrated　preoccupation　and　gloom。
Pierre　had　been　feeling　one　of　his　attacks　of　nervous　depression　coming　upon　him　ever　since　the　day　of　the　ball　and　had　been　making　desperate　efforts　to　struggle　against　it。　Since　his　wife’s　intrigue　with　the　royal　prince；　Pierre　had　been　to　his　surprise　appointed　a　kammerherr；　and　ever　since　he　had　felt　a　sense　of　weariness　and　shame　in　court　society；　and　his　old　ideas　of　the　vanity　of　all　things　human　began　to　come　back　oftener　and　oftener。　The　feeling　he　had　lately　noticed　between　his　protégée　Natasha　and　Prince　Andrey　had　aggravated　his　gloom　by　the　contrast　between　his　own　position　and　his　friend’s。　He　tried　equally　to　avoid　thinking　of　his　wife　and　also　of　Natasha　and　Prince　Andrey。　Again　everything　seemed　to　him　insignificant　in　comparison　with　eternity；　again　the　question　rose　before　him：　“What　for？”　And　for　days　and　nights　together　he　forced　himself　to　work　at　masonic　labours；　hoping　to　keep　off　the　evil　spirit。　Pierre　had　come　out　of　the　countess’s　apartments　at　midnight；　and　was　sitting　in　a　shabby　dressing…gown　at　the　table　in　his　own　low…pitched；　smoke…blackened　room　upstairs；　copying　out　long　transactions　of　the　Scottish　freemasons；　when　some　one　came　into　his　room。　It　was　Prince　Andrey。
“Oh；　it’s　you；”　said　Pierre；　with　a　preoccupied　and　dissatisfied　air。　“I’m　at　work；　you　see；”　he　added；　pointing　to　the　manuscript　book　with　that　look　of　escaping　from　the　ills　of　life　with　which　unhappy　people　look　at　their　work。
Prince　Andrey　stood　before　Pierre　with　a　radiant；　ecstatic　face；　full　of　new　life；　and　with　the　egoism　of　happiness　smiled　at　him　without　noticing　his　gloomy　face。
“Well；　my　dear　boy；”　he　said；　“I　wanted　to　tell　you　yesterday；　and　I　have　come　to　do　so　to…day。　I　have　never　felt　anything　like　it。　I　am　in　love。”
Pierre　suddenly　heaved　a　heavy　sigh；　and　dumped　down　his　heavy　person　on　the　sofa　beside　Prince　Andrey。
“With　Natasha　Rostov；　yes？”　he　said　“Yes；　yes；　who　else　could　it　be？　I　would　never　have　believed　it；　but　the　feeling　is　too　strong　for　me。　Yesterday　I　was　in　torment；　in　agony；　but　I　would　not　exchange　that　agony　even　for　anything　in　the　world。　I　have　never　lived　till　now；　but　I　cannot　live　without　her。　But　can　she　love　me？　…　I’m　too　old　for　her。…Why　don’t　you　speak？　…”
“I？　I？　What　did　I　tell　you？”　said　Pierre；　suddenly　getting　up　and　walking　about　the　room。　“I　always　thought　so。…That　girl　is　a　treasure。…She’s　a　very　rare　sort　of　girl。…My　dear　fellow；　don’t；　I　entreat　you；　be　too　wise；　don’t　doubt；　marry；　marry；　marry！　…　And　I　am　sure　no　man　was　ever　happier　than　you　will　be。”
“But　she？”
“She　loves　you。”
“Don’t　talk　nonsense　…”　said　Prince　Andrey；　smiling　and　looking　into　Pierre’s　face。
“She　loves　you；　I　know　it；”　Pierre　cried　angrily。
“No；　do　listen；”　said　Prince　Andrey；　taking　hold　of　him　by　the　arm　and　stopping　him。　“Do　you　know　the　state　I　am　in？　I　must　talk　about　it　to　some　one。”
“Well；　well；　talk　away；　I’m　very　glad；”　said　Pierre；　and　his　face　did　really　change；　the　line　of　care　in　his　brow　was　smoothed　away；　and　he　listened　gladly　to　Prince　Andrey。　His　friend　seemed；　and　was　indeed；　an　utterly　different；　new　man。　What　had　become　of　his　ennui；　his　contempt　of　life；　his　disillusionment？　Pierre　was　the　only　person　to　whom　he　could　have　brought　himself　to　speak　quite　openly；　but　to　him　he　did　reveal　all　that　was　in　his　heart。　Readily　and　boldly　he　made　plans　reaching　far　into　the　future；　said　he　could　not　sacrifice　his　own　happiness　to　the　caprices　of　his　father；　declared　that　he　would　force　his　father　to　agree　to　the　marriage　and　like　her；　or　dispense　with　his　consent　altogether；　then　he　marvelled　at　the　feeling　which　had　taken　possession　of　him；　as　something　strange；　and　apart；　independent　of　himself。
“I　should　never　have　believed　it；　if　any　one　had　told　me　I　could　love　like　this；”　said　Prince　Andrey。　“It　is　utterly　different　from　the　feeling　I　once　had。　The　whole　world　is　split　into　two　halves　for　me：　one—she；　and　there　all　is　happiness；　hope；　and　light；　the　other　half—all　where　she　is　not；　there　all　is　dejection　and　darkness。…”
“Darkness　and　gloom；”　repeated　Pierre；　“yes；　yes；　I　understand　that。”
“I　can’t　help　loving　the　light；　that’s　not　my　fault；　and　I　am　very　happy。　Do　you　understand　me？　I　know　you　are　glad　for　me。”
“Yes；　yes；”　Pierre　assented；　looking　at　his　friend　with　eyes　full　of　tenderness　and　sadness。　The　brighter　the　picture　of　Prince　Andrey’s　fate　before　his　mind；　the　darker　seemed　his　own。


Chapter　23
TO　GET　MARRIED　his　father’s　consent　was　wanted；　and　to　obtain　this　Prince　Andrey　set　off　to　see　his　father。
The　father　received　his　son’s　communication　wit