tg.wizardfirstrule-第44章

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eep。　I've　never　felt　like　this　before；　Zedd；　never　felt　this　alone　before。〃
　
　〃I　see。〃　Zedd　laid　the　cheese　on　a　rock。
　
　〃I　know　she　likes　me；　but　I　get　the　feeling　she's　keeping　me　at　arm's　length。　When　we　were　setting　up　camp　tonight；　I　told　her　that　if　it　had　been　her；　like　Chase　today；　I　would　have　e　after　her。　A　while　ago　she　came　out　here　to　see　me。　She　said　she　didn't　want　me　ing　after　her；　but　she　meant　more　than　that。　She　meant　she　didn't　want　me　ing　after　her；　period。〃
　
　〃Good　girl；〃　Zedd　said　under　his　breath。
　
　〃What？？　。
　
　〃I　said　she's　a　good　girl。　We　all　like　her。　But　Richard；　she　is　other　things；　too。　She　has　responsibilities。〃
　
　Richard　frowned　at　the　old　man。　〃And　what　are　those　other　things？〃
　
　Zedd　leaned　back　a　little。　〃It's　not　for　me　to　say。　She　is　the　one　to　answer　that。　I　would　have　thought　she　would　have　done　so　by　now。〃　The　old　man　put　his　arm　around　Richard's　big　shoulders。　〃If　it　makes　you　feel　any　better；　the　only　reason　she　hasn't　is　because　she　cares　for　you　more　than　she　should。　She　is　afraid　of　losing　your　friendship。〃
　
　〃You　know　about　her　secrets；　and　Chase　knows；　I　can　see　it　in　his　eyes。　Everyone　knows　but　me。　She　tried　to　tell　me　tonight；。　but　she　couldn't。　She　shouldn't　worry　about　losing　my　friendship。　That　won't　happen。〃
　
　〃Richard；　she　is　a　wonderful　person；　but　she　is　not　the　one　for　you。　She　can't　be　that。〃
　
　〃Why？〃
　
　Zedd　plucked　something　off　his　sleeve　as　he　spoke；　avoiding　Richard's　eyes。　〃I　gave　my　word　I　would　allow　her　to　be　the　one　to　tell　you。　You　will　just　have　to　trust　me；　she　cannot　be　what　you　want。　Find　another　girl。　The　land　is　awash　with　them。　Why；　half　of　all　the　people　are　girls；　there　are　plenty　to　pick　from。　Pick　another。〃
　
　Richard　drew　his　knees　up；　folding　his　arms　across　them；　looking　away。　〃All　right。〃　Zedd　looked　up　in　surprise；　then　smiled　and　patted　his　young　friend's　back。
　
　〃All　right　on　one　condition；〃　Richard　added　as　he　scanned　the　boundary　woods。　〃You　answer　one　question；　honestly；　toasted　toads　honest。　If　you　can　answer　yes；　then　I　will　do　as　you　ask。〃
　
　〃One？　Only　one　question？〃　Zedd　asked　cautiously；　putting　a　bony　finger　to　his　thin　bottom　lip。　。
　
　〃One　question。〃
　
　Zedd　thought　about　it　a　minute。　〃Very　well。　One　question。〃
　
　Richard　turned　his　fierce　eyes　to　the　old　man。　〃Before　you　married　your　wife；　if　someone…tell　you　what；　let's　make　it　even　easier　for　you　to　say　yes…if　someone　you　trusted；　a　friend；　someone　you　loved　like　a　father；　if　that　person　had　e　to　you；　and　said　pick　another；　would　you　have　done　so？〃
　
　Zedd　looked　away　from　Richard's　eyes　and　took　a　deep　breath。　〃Bags。　You　would　think　by　now　I　would　have　learned　not　to　let　a　Seeker　ask　me　a　question。〃　He　picked　up　the　cheese　and　took　a　bite。
　
　〃I　thought　as　much。〃
　
　Zedd　threw　the　cheese　away　into　the　darkness。　〃That　doesn't　change　the　facts；　Richard！　It　will　not　work　between　you　two。　I'm　not　saying　this　to　hurt　you。　I　love　you　like　a　son。　If　I　could　change　the　way　the　world　works；　I　would。　I　wish　it　were　not　so；　for　your　sake；　but　there　is　no　way　for　it　to　work。　Kahlan　knows　it；　and　if　you　try；　you　will　only　hurt　her。　I　know　you　don't　want　that。〃
　
　Richard's　voice　was　calm；　quiet。　〃You　said　it　yourself。　I　am　the　Seeker。　There　is　a　way；　and　I　will　find　it。〃
　
　Zedd　shook　his　head　sadly。　〃I　wish　it　were　so；　my　boy；　but　it　is　not。〃
　
　〃Then　what　am　I　to　do？〃　Richard　asked　in　a　broken　whisper。
　
　His　old　friend　put　his　skinny　arms　around　him　and　hugged　him　close　in　the　darkness。　Richard　felt　numb。
　
　〃Just　be　her　friend；　Richard。　That's　what　she　needs。　But　you　can　be　nothing　more。〃
　
　Richard　nodded　in　Zedd's　arms。
　
　After　a　few　minutes　the　Seeker；　a　suspicious　look　in　his　eye；　pushed　away；　holding　the　wizard　at　arm's　length。
　
　〃What　is　it　you　came　out　here　for？〃　〃To　sit　with　a　friend。〃
　
　Richard　shook　his　head。　〃You　came　out　here　as　wizard；　away　from　the　others；　to　counsel　the　Seeker。　Now；　tell　me　why　you're　here。〃
　
　〃Very　well。　I　came　here　in　my　capacity　as　wizard；　to　tell　the　Seeker　he　almost　made　a　serious　mistake　today。〃
　
　Richard　took　his　hands　from　Zedd's　shoulders；　but　continued　to　hold　his　gaze。　〃I　know　that。　A　Seeker　cannot　put　himself　at　risk　when　by　so　doing　he　puts　everyone　else　at　risk。〃
　
　〃But　you　were　going　to　do　it　anyway；〃　Zedd　pressed。
　
　〃When　you　named　me　Seeker；　you　took　the　bad　with　the　good。　I'm　new　at　the　responsibilities　of　the　position。　It's　hard　for　me　to　see　a　friend　in　trouble　and　not　help。　I　know　I　can't　afford　that　luxury　anymore。　Consider　me　reprimanded。〃
　
　Zedd　smiled。　〃Well；　that　part　went　well。〃　He　sat　a　minute；　his　smile　faded。　〃But　Richard；　the　issue　is　bigger　than　just　what　happened　today。　You　must　understand　that；　as　Seeker；　you　may　cause　the　death　of　innocent　people。　In　order　to　succeed　in　stopping　Rahl　you　may　have　to　turn　away　from　those　who　might　be　saved　with　your　help。　A　soldier　knows　that　on　the　battlefield；　if　he　bends　to　help　a　downed　rade；　he　might　take　a　sword　in　the　back；　and　so；　if　he　is　to　win；　he　must　fight　on　despite　the　cries　for　help　from　his　fellows。　You　must　be　able　to　do　this　to　win；　it　may　be　the　only　way。　You　must　steel　yourself　to　it。　This　is　a　struggle　for　survival；　and　in　this　battle　the　ones　crying　for　help　probably　won't　be　soldiers；　but　innocents。　Darken　Rahl　will　kill　anyone　to　win。　Those　who　fight　on　his　side　will　do　the　same。　You　may　have　to　do　the　same。　Like　it　or　not；　the　aggressor　makes　the　rules。　You　must　play　by　them；　or　you　will　surely　die　by　them。〃
　
　〃How　could　anyone　fight　on　his　side？　Darken　Rahl　wants　to　dominate　everyone；　to　be　the　master　of　all。　How　could　they　fight　for　him？〃
　
　The　wizard　leaned　back　against　the　rock　and　looked　out　over　the　hills；　as　if　seeing　more　than　was　there。　His　tone　was　sorrowful。　〃Because；　Richard；　many　people　must　be　ruled　to　thrive。　In　their　selfishness　and　greed；　they　see　free　people　as　their　oppressors。　They　wish　to　have　a　leader　who　will　cut　the　taller　plants　so　the　sun　will　reach　them。　They　think　no　plant　should　be　allowed　to　grow　taller　than　the　shortest；　and　in　that　way　give　light　to　all。　They　would　rather　be　provided　a　guiding　light；　regardless　of　the　fuel；　than　light　a　candle　themselves。
　
　〃Some　of　them　think　that　when　RAI　wins；　he　will　smile　on　them；　and　they　will　be　rewarded；　and　so　they　are　as　ruthless　as　he　to　gain　his　favor。　Some　are　simply　blind　to　the　truth　and　fight　for　the　lies；　they　hear。　And　some　find；　once　that　guiding　light　is　lit；　that　they　are　wearing　chains；　and　then　it　is　too　late。〃　Zedd　smoothed　his　sleeves　down　his　arms　as　he　sighed。　〃There　have　always　been　wars；　Richard。　Every　war　is　a　murderous　struggle　between　foes。　And　yet；　no　army　has　ever　marched　into　battle　thinking　that　the　Creator　had　sided　with　their　enemy。〃
　
　Richard　shook　his　head。　〃It　doesn't　make　sense。〃
　
　〃I　am　quite　sure　that　Rahl's　followers　think　we　are　bloodthirsty　monsters；　capable　of　anything。　They　will　have　been　told　endless　tales　of　their　enemy's　ruthless　brutality。　I'm　sure　none　of　them　know　much　about　Darken　Rahl　except　what　they　have　been　told　by　Darken　Rahl。〃　The　wizard　frowned；　his　intelligent　eyes　sharp。　〃It　may　be　a　perversion　of　logic；　but　that　makes　it　no　less　threatening；　or　deadly。　Rahl's　followers　need　only　to　crush　us；　they　don't　have　to　understand　anything　else。　But　for　you　to　win；　against　a　stronger　foe；　you　must　use　your　head。〃
　
　Richard　ran　his　fingers　through　his　hair。　〃That　leaves　me　stuck　in　an　awfully　tight　crack。　I　may　have　to　let　innocent　people　die；　yet　I　can't　kill　Darken　Rahl。〃
　
　Zedd　gave　him　a　meaningful　look。　〃No。　I　never　said　you　couldn't　kill　Darken　Rahl；　I　said　you　couldn't　use　the　sword　to　kill　him。〃
　
　Richard　looked　intently　over　at　his　old　friend；　the　moonlight　dim　on　the　other's　angular　face。　Sparks　of　thought　lit　in　the　darkness　of　his　mood。
　
　〃Zedd；〃　he　asked　quietly；　〃have　；you　had　to　do　that？　Have　you　had　to　let　innocent　people　die？〃
　
　Zedd's　face　turned　hard；　and　pensive。　〃In　the　last　war；　and　again　now；　as　we　speak。　Kahlan　told　me　Rahl　kills　people　to　get　my　name。　No　one　can　give　it；　but　he　continues　to　kill　in　the　hope　someone　will　fi