tg.wizardfirstrule-第127章

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　gentle。　〃I　knew　you　hadn't　been　getting　much　sleep　lately；　and　that　it　was　my　fault；　so　I　decided　that　before　I　。　。　。　before　I　left；　I　would　stand　watch　for　you　while　you　slept。　So　I　went　over　there；〃　she　pointed　with　the　branch；　〃in　those　trees；　where　I　could　keep　my　eye　on　you。〃　She　looked　down　at　the　branch　as　she　peeled　off　strips　of　bark。　〃I　wanted　to　make　sure　you　got　some　sleep。〃
　
　〃You　were　there　the　whole　night？〃　Richard　was　afraid　to　hope　at　what　this　meant。
　
　She　nodded；　but　didn't　look　up。　〃While　I　was　watching；　I　decided　to　make　a　　snare；　like　you　taught　me；　to　see　if　I　could　catch　you　some　breakfast。　While　I　was　sitting　there；　I　did　a　lot　of　thinking。　Mostly；　I　cried　for　a　long　time。　I　couldn't　stand　it　that　you　thought　those　things　about　me。　It　hurt　that　you　thought　of　me　like　that。　It　made　me　angry　too。〃　　10；
　
　Richard　decided　it　was　best　not　to　say　anything　while　she　struggled　to　find　the　words。　He　didn't　know　what　to　say；　and　was　afraid　if　he　said　anything　it　might　make　her　leave　again。　Kahlan　pulled　off　a　curl　of　birch　bark　and　tossed　it　in　the　fire；　where　it　sizzled　and　flared　to　flame。
　
　〃Then　I　thought　about　what　you　said；　and　I　decided　there　were　some　things　I　needed　to　tell　you；　about　how　to　conduct　yourself　when　you　are　with　the　Queen。　And　then　I　remembered　some　things　I　needed　to　tell　you　about　which　roads　to　avoid；　and　about　where　you　might　go。　I　just　keep　thinking　about　things　I　needed　to　tell　you；　things　you　need　to　know。　Before　I　knew　it；　I　realized　you　were　right。　About　everything。〃
　
　Richard　thought　she　looked　like　she　was　near　tears；　but　she　didn't　cry。　Instead；　she　picked　at　the　branch　with　her　fingernail；　and　avoided　his　eyes。　Still　he　kept　quiet。　Then　she　asked　him　a　question　he　wasn't　expecting。
　
　〃Do　you　think　Shota　is　pretty？〃
　
　He　smiled。　〃Yes。　But　not　as　pretty　as　you。〃
　
　Kahlan　smiled　and　pushed　some　hair　back　over　her　shoulder。　〃Not　many　would　dare　to　say　that　to　a　。　。　。〃　She　caught　herself　again。　Her　secret　stood　between　them　like　a　third　person。　She　started　again。　〃There　is　an　old　women's　proverb；　maybe　you　have　heard　it　before。　‘Never　let　a　beautiful　woman　pick　your　path　for　you　when　there　is　a　man　in　her　line　of　sight。'　〃
　
　Richard　laughed　a　little　and　stood　to　stretch　his　legs。　〃No；　I've　not　heard　that　before。〃　He　half　leaned；　half　sat　against　the　log；　as　he　folded　his　arms。　He　didn't　think　Kahlan　needed　to　worry　about　Shota　stealing　his　heart；　Shota　had　said　she　would　kill　him　if　she　ever　saw　him　again。　Even　without　Shota's　vow；　Kahlan　had　no　cause　for　worry。
　
　She　tossed　the　branch　aside　and　stood　next　to　him；　leaning　her　hip　against　the　log。　She　looked　into　his　eyes　at　last；　her　eyebrows　wrinkled　together。　〃Richard〃…her　voice　was　low；　almost　a　whisper…〃last　night　I　figured　out　I　was　being　very　stupid。　I　had　been　afraid　the　witch　woman　would　kill　me；　and　all　of　a　sudden；　I　realized；　she　was　about　to　succeed。　Only　I　was　doing　it　for　her；　letting　her　pick　my　path　for　me。
　
　〃You　were　right　about　it　all。　I　should　have　known　better　than　to　disregard　the　things　a　Seeker　says。〃　She　looked　back　down　at　the　ground　before　her　green　eyes　came　back　up　to　his。　〃If　。　。　。　if　it　is　not　too　late；　I　would　like　my　job　back；　as　your　guide。〃
　
　Richard　couldn't　believe　it　was　over。　He　had　never　been　this　happy；　this　relieved；　in　his　life。　Instead　of　answering；　he　reached　out　and　pulled　her　into　his　arms；　hugged　her　tight　to　him。　Her　arms　slipped　around　him　as　she　laid　her　head　against　his　chest　for　a　moment。　Then　she　pushed　away。
　
　〃Richard；　there　is　one　other　matter。　Before　you　can　say　you　will　take　me　back；　you　must　hear　the　rest　of　it。　I　can't　go　on　anymore　without　telling　you　about　me。　About　what　I　am。　It's　cleaving　my　heart；　because　I'm　supposed　to　be　your　friend。　I　should　have　told　you　from　the　beginning。　I　have　never　had　a　friend　like　you　before。　I　didn't　want　it　to　end。〃　Her　gaze　left　his。　〃But　now　it　must；〃　she　added　faintly。
　
　〃Kahlan；　I've　told　you　before；　you're　my　friend；　and　nothing　can　change　that。〃
　
　〃This　secret　can。〃…　Her　shoulders　were　slumped。　〃This　is　about　magic。〃
　
　Richard　wasn't　sure　anymore　that　he　wanted　to　hear　her　secret。　He　had　just　gotten　her　back；　he　didn't　want　to　lose　her　again。　He　squatted　down　in　front　of　the　fire；　picking　up　the　roasting　stick　with　the　rabbit。　Sparks　swirled　up　into　the　waning　darkness。　He　felt　proud　of　her；　for　catching　the　rabbit　on　her　own；　the　way　he　had　taught　her。
　
　〃Kahlan；　I　don't　care　what　your　secret　is。　I　care　about　you；　that's　all　that　matters。　You　don't。　have　to　tell　me。　e　on；　the　rabbit　is　done；　e　and　have　some。〃
　
　Cutting　off　a　piece　with　his　knife；　he　handed　it　to　her　as　she　sat　on　the　ground　next　to　him；　pulling　her　hair　back　off　her　face。　The　meat　was　hot；　so　she　held　it　lightly　with　her　fingertips；　and　blew　to　cool　it。　Richard　cut　a　piece　for　himself　and　sat　back。
　
　〃Richard；　when　you　first　saw　Shota；　did　she　really　look　like　your　mother？〃
　
　He　looked　over　to　Kahlan's　face；　lit　by　the　fire；　and　nodded　before　he　took　a　bite。
　
　〃Your　mother　was　very　pretty。　You　have　her　eyes；　and　her　mouth。〃
　
　Richard　smiled　a　little　at　the　memory。　〃But　it　wasn't　really　her。〃
　
　〃So　you　felt　angry　that　Shota　was　pretending　to　be　someone　she　could　not　be？　That　she　was　deceiving　you？〃　She　took　a　bite　of　the　rabbit；　breathing　in　through　her　mouth　because　the　meat　was　still　hot。　She　watched　him　carefully
　
　Richard　shrugged；　feeling　the　sting　of　sorrow。　〃I　guess。　It　wasn't　fair。〃
　
　Kahlan　chewed　a　minute；　and　then　swallowed。　〃That　is　why　I　must　tell　you　who　I　am；　even　if　you　hate　me　for　it；　because　you　have　been　my　friend。　Although　I　have　not　been　the　kind　of　friend　you　deserve。　That　is　the　other　reason　I　came　back；　because　I　didn't　want　someone　else　to　tell　you。　I　wanted　you　to　hear　it　from　me。　After　I　tell　you；　if　you　want　me　to　I　will　leave。〃
　
　Richard　looked　up　at　the　sky；　at　the　color　ing。　slowly　to　it。　He　suddenly　wished　Kahlan　weren't　telling　him　what　she　was；　he　wished　things　could　stay　the　way　they　were。　〃Don't　worry；　I'm　not　sending　you　away。　We　have　a　job　to　do。　Remember　what　Shota　said？　The　Queen　won't　have　the　box　long；　that　can　only　mean　someone　will　take　it　from　her。　Better　us　than　Darken　Rahl。〃
　
　Kahlan　put　her　hand　on　his　arm。　〃I　don't　want　you　to　decide　until　you　hear　what　I　have　to　say；　until　you　hear　what　I　am。　Then；　if　you　want　one　to　leave　I　will　understand。〃　She　looked　intently　into　his　eyes。　〃Richard；　I　just　want　you　to　know　that　I　have　never　cared　for　anyone　the　way　I　care　for　you；　nor　will　I　ever　again。　But　it　is　not　possible　for　it　to　go　beyond　that。　Nothing　can　ever　e　of　it。　Nothing　good　anyway。〃
　
　He　refused　to　believe　that。　There　was　a　way；　there　had　to　be。　Richard　took　a　heavy　breath；　letting　it　out　slowly。　〃All　right　then；　out　with　it。〃
　
　She　nodded。　〃Remember　when　I　told　you　that　some　who　lived　in　the　Midlands　were　creatures　of　magic？　And　that　they　couldn't　give　up　that　magic；　because　it　was　part　of　them？〃　He　nodded　to　her。　〃Well；　I　am　one　of　those　creatures。　I　am　more　than　a　woman。〃
　
　〃So；　what　are　you？〃
　
　〃I　am　a　Confessor。〃
　
　Confessor。
　
　Richard　knew　that　word。
　
　Every　muscle　in　his　body　went　stiff。　His　breath　caught　in　his　throat。　The　Book　of　Counted　Shadows　suddenly　flooded　through。　his　mind。　Verification　of　the　truth　of　the　words　of　the　Book　of　Counted　Shadows；　if　spoken　by　another；　rather　than　read　by　the　one　who　mands　the　boxes；　can　only　be　insured　by　the　use　of　a　Confessor　。　。　。　。
　
　His　mind　raced；　as　if　flipping　the　pages　in　his　mind's　eye；　scanning　the　words；　trying　to　remember　the　whole　book；　trying　to　remember　if　Confessor　was　mentioned　again。　No；　it　wasn't。　He　knew　every　word　in　the　book；　and　Confessor　was　in　it　only　once；　at　the　beginning。　He　could　remember　puzzling　over　what　a　Confessor　could　be。　He　hadn't　even　been　sure；　before；　that　it　was　a　person。　He　felt　the　weight　of　the　tooth　hanging　around　his　neck。
　
　Kahlan　frowned　at　the　look　on　his　face。　〃Do　you　know　what　a　Confessor　is？〃
　
　〃No；〃　he　managed。　〃I　heard　the　word　before；　that's　all　。　。　。　from　my　father。　But　I　don't　know　what　it　means。〃　He　struggled　to　regain　control　of　him