the water-babies-第42章

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〃What　are　you　crying　for？〃　said　Tom。

〃Because　I　am　not　as　frightened　as　I　could　wish　to　be。〃

〃Not　frightened？　　You　are　a　queer　little　chap：　　but；　if　you　want　to　be　frightened；　here　goes　…　Boo！〃

〃Ah；〃　said　the　little　boy；　〃that　is　very　kind　of　you；　but　I　don't　feel　that　it　has　made　any　impression。〃

Tom　offered　to　upset　him；　punch　him；　stamp　on　him；　fettle　him　over　the　head　with　a　brick；　or　anything　else　whatsoever　which　would　give　him　the　slightest　comfort。

But　he　only　thanked　Tom　very　civilly；　in　fine　long　words　which　he　had　heard　other　folk　use；　and　which　therefore；　he　thought　were　fit　and　proper　to　use　himself；　and　cried　on　till　his　papa　and　mamma　came；　and　sent　off　for　the　Powwow　man　immediately。　　And　a　very　good…natured　gentleman　and　lady　they　were；　though　they　were　heathens；　and　talked　quite　pleasantly　to　Tom　about　his　travels；　till　the　Powwow　man　arrived；　with　his　thunderbox　under　his　arm。

And　a　well…fed；　ill…favoured　gentleman　he　was；　as　ever　served　Her　Majesty　at　Portland。　　Tom　was　a　little　frightened　at　first；　for　he　thought　it　was　Grimes。　　But　he　soon　saw　his　mistake：　　for　Grimes　always　looked　a　man　in　the　face；　and　this　fellow　never　did。　　And　when　he　spoke；　it　was　fire　and　smoke；　and　when　he　sneezed；　it　was　squibs　and　crackers；　and　when　he　cried　（which　he　did　whenever　it　paid　him）；　it　was　boiling　pitch；　and　some　of　it　was　sure　to　stick。

〃Here　we　are　again！〃　cried　he；　like　the　clown　in　a　pantomime。　　〃So　you　can't　feel　frightened；　my　little　dear　…　eh？　　I'll　do　that　for　you。　　I'll　make　an　impression　on　you！　　Yah！　　Boo！　　Whirroo！　Hullabaloo！〃

And　he　rattled；　thumped；　brandished　his　thunder…box；　yelled；　shouted；　raved；　roared；　stamped；　and　danced　corrobory　like　any　black　fellow；　and　then　he　touched　a　spring　in　the　thunderbox；　and　out　popped　turnip…ghosts　and　magic…lanthorns　and　pasteboard　bogies　and　spring…heeled　Jacks；　and　sallaballas；　with　such　a　horrid　din；　clatter；　clank；　roll；　rattle；　and　roar；　that　the　little　boy　turned　up　the　whites　of　his　eyes；　and　fainted　right　away。

And　at　that　his　poor　heathen　papa　and　mamma　were　as　much　delighted　as　if　they　had　found　a　gold　mine；　and　fell　down　upon　their　knees　before　the　Powwow　man；　and　gave　him　a　palanquin　with　a　pole　of　solid　silver　and　curtains　of　cloth　of　gold；　and　carried　him　about　in　it　on　their　own　backs：　　but　as　soon　as　they　had　taken　him　up；　the　pole　stuck　to　their　shoulders；　and　they　could　not　set　him　down　any　more；　but　carried　him　on　willynilly；　as　Sinbad　carried　the　old　man　of　the　sea：　　which　was　a　pitiable　sight　to　see；　for　the　father　was　a　very　brave　officer；　and　wore　two　swords　and　a　blue　button；　and　the　mother　was　as　pretty　a　lady　as　ever　had　pinched　feet　like　a　Chinese。　　But　you　see；　they　had　chosen　to　do　a　foolish　thing　just　once　too　often；　so；　by　the　laws　of　Mrs。　Bedonebyasyoudid；　they　had　to　go　on　doing　it　whether　they　chose　or　not；　till　the　coming　of　the　Cocqcigrues。

Ah！　don't　you　wish　that　some　one　would　go　and　convert　those　poor　heathens；　and　teach　them　not　to　frighten　their　little　children　into　fits？

〃Now；　then；〃　said　the　Powwow　man　to　Tom；　〃wouldn't　you　like　to　be　frightened；　my　little　dear？　　For　I　can　see　plainly　that　you　are　a　very　wicked；　naughty；　graceless；　reprobate　boy。〃

〃You're　another；〃　quoth　Tom；　very　sturdily。　　And　when　the　man　ran　at　him；　and　cried　〃Boo！〃　　Tom　ran　at　him　in　return；　and　cried　〃Boo！〃　likewise；　right　in　his　face；　and　set　the　little　dog　upon　him；　and　at　his　legs　the　dog　went。

At　which；　if　you　will　believe　it；　the　fellow　turned　tail；　thunderbox　and　all；　with　a　〃Woof！〃　like　an　old　sow　on　the　common；　and　ran　for　his　life；　screaming；　〃Help！　thieves！　murder！　fire！　　He　is　going　to　kill　me！　　I　am　a　ruined　man！　　He　will　murder　me；　and　break；　burn；　and　destroy　my　precious　and　invaluable　thunderbox；　and　then　you　will　have　no　more　thunder…showers　in　the　land。　　Help！　help！　help！〃

At　which　the　papa　and　mamma　and　all　the　people　of　Oldwivesfabledom　flew　at　Tom；　shouting；　〃Oh；　the　wicked；　impudent；　hard…hearted；　graceless　boy！　　Beat　him；　kick　him；　shoot　him；　drown　him；　hang　him；　burn　him！〃　and　so　forth：　　but　luckily　they　had　nothing　to　shoot；　hang；　or　burn　him　with；　for　the　fairies　had　hid　all　the　killing…　tackle　out　of　the　way　a　little　while　before；　so　they　could　only　pelt　him　with　stones；　and　some　of　the　stones　went　clean　through　him；　and　came　out　the　other　side。　　But　he　did　not　mind　that　a　bit；　for　the　holes　closed　up　again　as　fast　as　they　were　made；　because　he　was　a　water…baby。　　However；　he　was　very　glad　when　he　was　safe　out　of　the　country；　for　the　noise　there　made　him　all　but　deaf。

Then　he　came　to　a　very　quiet　place；　called　Leaveheavenalone。　　And　there　the　sun　was　drawing　water　out　of　the　sea　to　make　steam…　threads；　and　the　wind　was　twisting　them　up　to　make　cloud…patterns；　till　they　had　worked　between　them　the　loveliest　wedding　veil　of　Chantilly　lace；　and　hung　it　up　in　their　own　Crystal　Palace　for　any　one　to　buy　who　could　afford　it；　while　the　good　old　sea　never　grudged；　for　she　knew　they　would　pay　her　back　honestly。　　So　the　sun　span；　and　the　wind　wove；　and　all　went　well　with　the　great　steam…　loom；　as　is　likely；　considering　…　and　considering　…　and　considering　…

And　at　last；　after　innumerable　adventures；　each　more　wonderful　than　the　last；　he　saw　before　him　a　huge　building；　much　bigger；　and　…　what　is　most　surprising　…　a　little　uglier　than　a　certain　new　lunatic　asylum；　but　not　built　quite　of　the　same　materials。　　None　of　it；　at　least　…　or；　indeed；　for　aught　that　I　ever　saw；　any　part　of　any　other　building　whatsoever　…　is　cased　with　nine…inch　brick　inside　and　out；　and　filled　up　with　rubble　between　the　walls；　in　order　that　any　gentleman　who　has　been　confined　during　Her　Majesty's　pleasure　may　be　unconfined　during　his　own　pleasure；　and　take　a　walk　in　the　neighbouring　park　to　improve　his　spirits；　after　an　hour's　light　and　wholesome　labour　with　his　dinner…fork　or　one　of　the　legs　of　his　iron　bedstead。　　No。　　The　walls　of　this　building　were　built　on　an　entirely　different　principle；　which　need　not　be　described；　as　it　has　not　yet　been　discovered。

Tom　walked　towards　this　great　building；　wondering　what　it　was；　and　having　a　strange　fancy　that　he　might　find　Mr。　Grimes　inside　it；　till　he　saw　running　toward　him；　and　shouting　〃Stop！〃　three　or　four　people；　who；　when　they　came　nearer；　were　nothing　else　than　policemen's　truncheons；　running　along　without　legs　or　arms。

Tom　was　not　astonished。　　He　was　long　past　that。　　Besides；　he　had　seen　the　naviculae　in　the　water　move　nobody　knows　how；　a　hundred　times；　without　arms；　or　legs；　or　anything　to　stand　in　their　stead。　Neither　was　he　frightened　for　he　had　been　doing　no　harm。

So　he　stopped；　and；　when　the　foremost　truncheon　came　up　and　asked　his　business；　he　showed　Mother　Carey's　pass；　and　the　truncheon　looked　at　it　in　the　oddest　fashion；　for　he　had　one　eye　in　the　middle　of　his　upper　end；　so　that　when　he　looked　at　anything；　being　quite　stiff；　he　had　to　slope　himself；　and　poke　himself；　till　it　was　a　wonder　why　he　did　not　tumble　over；　but；　being　quite　full　of　the　spirit　of　justice　（as　all　policemen；　and　their　truncheons；　ought　to　be）；　he　was　always　in　a　position　of　stable　equilibrium；　whichever　way　he　put　himself。

〃All　right　…　pass　on；〃　said　he　at　last。　　And　then　he　added：　　〃I　had　better　go　with　you；　young　man。〃　　And　Tom　had　no　objection；　for　such　company　was　both　respectable　and　safe；　so　the　truncheon　coiled　its　thong　neatly　round　its　handle；　to　prevent　tripping　itself　up　…　for　the　thong　had　got　loose　in　running　…　and　marched　on　by　Tom's　side。

〃Why　have　you　no　policeman　to　carry　you？〃　asked　Tom；　after　a　while。

〃Because　we　are　not　like　those　clumsy…made　truncheons　in　the　land…　world；　which　cannot　go　without　having　a　whole　man　to　carry　them　about。　　We　do　our　own　work　for　ourselves；　and　do　it　very　well；　though　I　say　it　who　should　not。〃

〃Then　why　have　you　a　thong　to　your　handle？〃　asked　Tom。

〃To　hang　ourselves　up　by；　of　course；　when　we　are　off　duty。〃

Tom　had　got　his　answer；　and　had　no　more　to　say；　till　they　came　up　to　the　great　iron　door　of　the　prison。　　And　there　the　truncheon　knocked　twice；　with　its　own　head。

A　wicket　in　the　door　opened；　and　out　looked　a　tremendous　old　brass　blunderbuss　charged　up　to　the　muzzle　with　slugs；　who　was　the　porter；　and　Tom　started　b