lazy tour of two idle apprentices-第28章

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Absolutely　and　literally；　he　is　the　only　individual　in　Doncaster

who　stands　by　the　brink　of　the　full…flowing　race…stream；　and　is　not

swept　away　by　it　in　common　with　all　the　rest　of　his　species。　　Who

is　this　modern　hermit；　this　recluse　of　the　St。　Leger…week；　this

inscrutably　ungregarious　being；　who　lives　apart　from　the　amusements

and　activities　of　his　fellow…creatures？　　Surely；　there　is　little

difficulty　in　guessing　that　clearest　and　easiest　of　all　riddles。

Who　could　he　be；　but　Mr。　Thomas　Idle？



Thomas　had　suffered　himself　to　be　taken　to　Doncaster；　just　as　he

would　have　suffered　himself　to　be　taken　to　any　other　place　in　the

habitable　globe　which　would　guarantee　him　the　temporary　possession

of　a　comfortable　sofa　to　rest　his　ankle　on。　　Once　established　at

the　hotel；　with　his　leg　on　one　cushion　and　his　back　against

another；　he　formally　declined　taking　the　slightest　interest　in　any

circumstance　whatever　connected　with　the　races；　or　with　the　people

who　were　assembled　to　see　them。　　Francis　Goodchild；　anxious　that

the　hours　should　pass　by　his　crippled　travelling…companion　as

lightly　as　possible；　suggested　that　his　sofa　should　be　moved　to　the

window；　and　that　he　should　amuse　himself　by　looking　out　at　the

moving　panorama　of　humanity；　which　the　view　from　it　of　the

principal　street　presented。　　Thomas；　however；　steadily　declined

profiting　by　the　suggestion。



'The　farther　I　am　from　the　window；'　he　said；　'the　better；　Brother

Francis；　I　shall　be　pleased。　　I　have　nothing　in　common　with　the　one

prevalent　idea　of　all　those　people　who　are　passing　in　the　street。

Why　should　I　care　to　look　at　them？'



'I　hope　I　have　nothing　in　common　with　the　prevalent　idea　of　a　great

many　of　them；　either；'　answered　Goodchild；　thinking　of　the　sporting

gentlemen　whom　he　had　met　in　the　course　of　his　wanderings　about

Doncaster。　　'But；　surely；　among　all　the　people　who　are　walking　by

the　house；　at　this　very　moment；　you　may　find　…　'



'Not　one　living　creature；'　interposed　Thomas；　'who　is　not；　in　one

way　or　another；　interested　in　horses；　and　who　is　not；　in　a　greater

or　less　degree；　an　admirer　of　them。　　Now；　I　hold　opinions　in

reference　to　these　particular　members　of　the　quadruped　creation；

which　may　lay　claim　（as　I　believe）　to　the　disastrous　distinction　of

being　unpartaken　by　any　other　human　being；　civilised　or　savage；

over　the　whole　surface　of　the　earth。　　Taking　the　horse　as　an　animal

in　the　abstract；　Francis；　I　cordially　despise　him　from　every　point

of　view。'



'Thomas；'　said　Goodchild；　'confinement　to　the　house　has　begun　to

affect　your　biliary　secretions。　　I　shall　go　to　the　chemist's　and

get　you　some　physic。'



'I　object；'　continued　Thomas；　quietly　possessing　himself　of　his

friend's　hat；　which　stood　on　a　table　near　him；　…　'I　object；　first；

to　the　personal　appearance　of　the　horse。　　I　protest　against　the

conventional　idea　of　beauty；　as　attached　to　that　animal。　　I　think

his　nose　too　long；　his　forehead　too　low；　and　his　legs　（except　in

the　case　of　the　cart…horse）　ridiculously　thin　by　comparison　with

the　size　of　his　body。　　Again；　considering　how　big　an　animal　he　is；

I　object　to　the　contemptible　delicacy　of　his　constitution。　　Is　he

not　the　sickliest　creature　in　creation？　　Does　any　child　catch　cold

as　easily　as　a　horse？　　Does　he　not　sprain　his　fetlock；　for　all　his

appearance　of　superior　strength；　as　easily　as　I　sprained　my　ankle！

Furthermore；　to　take　him　from　another　point　of　view；　what　a

helpless　wretch　he　is！　　No　fine　lady　requires　more　constant

waiting…on　than　a　horse。　　Other　animals　can　make　their　own

toilette：　　he　must　have　a　groom。　　You　will　tell　me　that　this　is

because　we　want　to　make　his　coat　artificially　glossy。　　Glossy！

Come　home　with　me；　and　see　my　cat；　…　my　clever　cat；　who　can　groom

herself！　　Look　at　your　own　dog！　see　how　the　intelligent　creature

curry…combs　himself　with　his　own　honest　teeth！　　Then；　again；　what　a

fool　the　horse　is；　what　a　poor；　nervous　fool！　　He　will　start　at　a

piece　of　white　paper　in　the　road　as　if　it　was　a　lion。　　His　one

idea；　when　he　hears　a　noise　that　he　is　not　accustomed　to；　is　to　run

away　from　it。　　What　do　you　say　to　those　two　common　instances　of　the

sense　and　courage　of　this　absurdly　overpraised　animal？　　I　might

multiply　them　to　two　hundred；　if　I　chose　to　exert　my　mind　and　waste

my　breath；　which　I　never　do。　　I　prefer　coming　at　once　to　my　last

charge　against　the　horse；　which　is　the　most　serious　of　all；　because

it　affects　his　moral　character。　　I　accuse　him　boldly；　in　his

capacity　of　servant　to　man；　of　slyness　and　treachery。　　I　brand　him

publicly；　no　matter　how　mild　he　may　look　about　the　eyes；　or　how

sleek　he　may　be　about　the　coat；　as　a　systematic　betrayer；　whenever

he　can　get　the　chance；　of　the　confidence　reposed　in　him。　　What　do

you　mean　by　laughing　and　shaking　your　head　at　me？'



'Oh；　Thomas；　Thomas！'　said　Goodchild。　　'You　had　better　give　me　my

hat；　you　had　better　let　me　get　you　that　physic。'



'I　will　let　you　get　anything　you　like；　including　a　composing

draught　for　yourself；'　said　Thomas；　irritably　alluding　to　his

fellow…apprentice's　inexhaustible　activity；　'if　you　will　only　sit

quiet　for　five　minutes　longer；　and　hear　me　out。　　I　say　again　the

horse　is　a　betrayer　of　the　confidence　reposed　in　him；　and　that

opinion；　let　me　add；　is　drawn　from　my　own　personal　experience；　and

is　not　based　on　any　fanciful　theory　whatever。　　You　shall　have　two

instances；　two　overwhelming　instances。　　Let　me　start　the　first　of

these　by　asking；　what　is　the　distinguishing　quality　which　the

Shetland　Pony　has　arrogated　to　himself；　and　is　still　perpetually

trumpeting　through　the　world　by　means　of　popular　report　and　books

on　Natural　History？　　I　see　the　answer　in　your　face：　　it　is　the

quality　of　being　Sure…Footed。　　He　professes　to　have　other　virtues；

such　as　hardiness　and　strength；　which　you　may　discover　on　trial；

but　the　one　thing　which　he　insists　on　your　believing；　when　you　get

on　his　back；　is　that　he　may　be　safely　depended　on　not　to　tumble

down　with　you。　　Very　good。　　Some　years　ago；　I　was　in　Shetland　with

a　party　of　friends。　　They　insisted　on　taking　me　with　them　to　the

top　of　a　precipice　that　overhung　the　sea。　　It　was　a　great　distance

off；　but　they　all　determined　to　walk　to　it　except　me。　　I　was　wiser

then　than　I　was　with　you　at　Carrock；　and　I　determined　to　be　carried

to　the　precipice。　　There　was　no　carriage…road　in　the　island；　and

nobody　offered　（in　consequence；　as　I　suppose；　of　the　imperfectly…

civilised　state　of　the　country）　to　bring　me　a　sedan…chair；　which　is

naturally　what　I　should　have　liked　best。　　A　Shetland　pony　was

produced　instead。　　I　remembered　my　Natural　History；　I　recalled

popular　report；　and　I　got　on　the　little　beast's　back；　as　any　other

man　would　have　done　in　my　position；　placing　implicit　confidence　in

the　sureness　of　his　feet。　　And　how　did　he　repay　that　confidence？

Brother　Francis；　carry　your　mind　on　from　morning　to　noon。　　Picture

to　yourself　a　howling　wilderness　of　grass　and　bog；　bounded　by　low

stony　hills。　　Pick　out　one　particular　spot　in　that　imaginary　scene；

and　sketch　me　in　it；　with　outstretched　arms；　curved　back；　and　heels

in　the　air；　plunging　headforemost　into　a　black　patch　of　water　and

mud。　　Place　just　behind　me　the　legs；　the　body；　and　the　head　of　a

sure…footed　Shetland　pony；　all　stretched　flat　on　the　ground；　and

you　will　have　produced　an　accurate　representation　of　a　very

lamentable　fact。　　And　the　moral　device；　Francis；　of　this　picture

will　be　to　testify　that　when　gentlemen　put　confidence　in　the　legs

of　Shetland　ponies；　they　will　find　to　their　cost　that　they　are

leaning　on　nothing　but　broken　reeds。　　There　is　my　first　instance　…

and　what　have　you　got　to　say　to　that？'



'Nothing；　but　that　I　want　my　hat；'　answered　Goodchild；　starting　up

and　walking　restlessly　about　the　room。



'You　shall　have　it　in　a　minute；'　rejoined　Thomas。　　'My　second

instance'　…　（Goodchild　groaned；　and　sat　down　again）　…　'My　second

instance　is　more　appropriate　to　the　present　time　and　place；　for　it

re