lazy tour of two idle apprentices-第2章

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got　sharper；　manner　got　shorter；　eyes　got　shrewder　and　harder；　yet

all　so　quickly；　that　the　spruce　guard　in　the　London　uniform　and

silver　lace；　had　not　yet　rumpled　his　shirt…collar；　delivered　half

the　dispatches　in　his　shiny　little　pouch；　or　read　his　newspaper。



Carlisle！　　Idle　and　Goodchild　had　got　to　Carlisle。　　It　looked

congenially　and　delightfully　idle。　　Something　in　the　way　of　public

amusement　had　happened　last　month；　and　something　else　was　going　to

happen　before　Christmas；　and；　in　the　meantime　there　was　a　lecture

on　India　for　those　who　liked　it　…　which　Idle　and　Goodchild　did　not。

Likewise；　by　those　who　liked　them；　there　were　impressions　to　be

bought　of　all　the　vapid　prints；　going　and　gone；　and　of　nearly　all

the　vapid　books。　　For　those　who　wanted　to　put　anything　in

missionary　boxes；　here　were　the　boxes。　　For　those　who　wanted　the

Reverend　Mr。　Podgers　（artist's　proofs；　thirty　shillings）；　here　was

Mr。　Podgers　to　any　amount。　　Not　less　gracious　and　abundant；　Mr。

Codgers　also　of　the　vineyard；　but　opposed　to　Mr。　Podgers；　brotherly

tooth　and　nail。　　Here；　were　guide…books　to　the　neighbouring

antiquities；　and　eke　the　Lake　country；　in　several　dry　and　husky

sorts；　here；　many　physically　and　morally　impossible　heads　of　both

sexes；　for　young　ladies　to　copy；　in　the　exercise　of　the　art　of

drawing；　here；　further；　a　large　impression　of　MR。　SPURGEON；　solid

as　to　the　flesh；　not　to　say　even　something　gross。　　The　working

young　men　of　Carlisle　were　drawn　up；　with　their　hands　in　their

pockets；　across　the　pavements；　four　and　six　abreast；　and　appeared

（much　to　the　satisfaction　of　Mr。　Idle）　to　have　nothing　else　to　do。

The　working　and　growing　young　women　of　Carlisle；　from　the　age　of

twelve　upwards；　promenaded　the　streets　in　the　cool　of　the　evening；

and　rallied　the　said　young　men。　　Sometimes　the　young　men　rallied

the　young　women；　as　in　the　case　of　a　group　gathered　round　an

accordion…player；　from　among　whom　a　young　man　advanced　behind　a

young　woman　for　whom　he　appeared　to　have　a　tenderness；　and　hinted

to　her　that　he　was　there　and　playful；　by　giving　her　（he　wore　clogs）

a　kick。



On　market　morning；　Carlisle　woke　up　amazingly；　and　became　（to　the

two　Idle　Apprentices）　disagreeably　and　reproachfully　busy。　　There

were　its　cattle　market；　its　sheep　market；　and　its　pig　market　down

by　the　river；　with　raw…boned　and　shock…headed　Rob　Roys　hiding　their

Lowland　dresses　beneath　heavy　plaids；　prowling　in　and　out　among　the

animals；　and　flavouring　the　air　with　fumes　of　whiskey。　　There　was

its　corn　market　down　the　main　street；　with　hum　of　chaffering　over

open　sacks。　　There　was　its　general　market　in　the　street　too；　with

heather　brooms　on　which　the　purple　flower　still　flourished；　and

heather　baskets　primitive　and　fresh　to　behold。　　With　women　trying

on　clogs　and　caps　at　open　stalls；　and　'Bible　stalls'　adjoining。

With　'Doctor　Mantle's　Dispensary　for　the　cure　of　all　Human　Maladies

and　no　charge　for　advice；'　and　with　Doctor　Mantle's　'Laboratory　of

Medical；　Chemical；　and　Botanical　Science'　…　both　healing

institutions　established　on　one　pair　of　trestles；　one　board；　and

one　sun…blind。　　With　the　renowned　phrenologist　from　London；　begging

to　be　favoured　（at　sixpence　each）　with　the　company　of　clients　of

both　sexes；　to　whom；　on　examination　of　their　heads；　he　would　make

revelations　'enabling　him　or　her　to　know　themselves。'　　Through　all

these　bargains　and　blessings；　the　recruiting…sergeant　watchfully

elbowed　his　way；　a　thread　of　War　in　the　peaceful　skein。　　Likewise

on　the　walls　were　printed　hints　that　the　Oxford　Blues　might　not　be

indisposed　to　hear　of　a　few　fine　active　young　men；　and　that　whereas

the　standard　of　that　distinguished　corps　is　full　six　feet；　'growing

lads　of　five　feet　eleven'　need　not　absolutely　despair　of　being

accepted。



Scenting　the　morning　air　more　pleasantly　than　the　buried　majesty　of

Denmark　did；　Messrs。　Idle　and　Goodchild　rode　away　from　Carlisle　at

eight　o'clock　one　forenoon；　bound　for　the　village　of　Hesket；

Newmarket；　some　fourteen　miles　distant。　　Goodchild　（who　had　already

begun　to　doubt　whether　he　was　idle：　　as　his　way　always　is　when　he

has　nothing　to　do）　had　read　of　a　certain　black　old　Cumberland　hill

or　mountain；　called　Carrock；　or　Carrock　Fell；　and　had　arrived　at

the　conclusion　that　it　would　be　the　culminating　triumph　of　Idleness

to　ascend　the　same。　　Thomas　Idle；　dwelling　on　the　pains　inseparable

from　that　achievement；　had　expressed　the　strongest　doubts　of　the

expediency；　and　even　of　the　sanity；　of　the　enterprise；　but

Goodchild　had　carried　his　point；　and　they　rode　away。



Up　hill　and　down　hill；　and　twisting　to　the　right；　and　twisting　to

the　left；　and　with　old　Skiddaw　（who　has　vaunted　himself　a　great

deal　more　than　his　merits　deserve；　but　that　is　rather　the　way　of

the　Lake　country）；　dodging　the　apprentices　in　a　picturesque　and

pleasant　manner。　　Good；　weather…proof；　warm；　pleasant　houses；　well

white…limed；　scantily　dotting　the　road。　　Clean　children　coming　out

to　look；　carrying　other　clean　children　as　big　as　themselves。

Harvest　still　lying　out　and　much　rained　upon；　here　and　there；

harvest　still　unreaped。　　Well…cultivated　gardens　attached　to　the

cottages；　with　plenty　of　produce　forced　out　of　their　hard　soil。

Lonely　nooks；　and　wild；　but　people　can　be　born；　and　married；　and

buried　in　such　nooks；　and　can　live　and　love；　and　be　loved；　there　as

elsewhere；　thank　God！　（Mr。　Goodchild's　remark。）　　By…and…by；　the

village。　　Black；　coarse…stoned；　rough…windowed　houses；　some　with

outer　staircases；　like　Swiss　houses；　a　sinuous　and　stony　gutter

winding　up　hill　and　round　the　corner；　by　way　of　street。　　All　the

children　running　out　directly。　　Women　pausing　in　washing；　to　peep

from　doorways　and　very　little　windows。　　Such　were　the　observations

of　Messrs。　Idle　and　Goodchild；　as　their　conveyance　stopped　at　the

village　shoemaker's。　　Old　Carrock　gloomed　down　upon　it　all　in　a

very　ill…tempered　state；　and　rain　was　beginning。



The　village　shoemaker　declined　to　have　anything　to　do　with　Carrock。

No　visitors　went　up　Carrock。　　No　visitors　came　there　at　all。　　Aa'

the　world　ganged　awa'　yon。　　The　driver　appealed　to　the　Innkeeper。

The　Innkeeper　had　two　men　working　in　the　fields；　and　one　of　them

should　be　called　in；　to　go　up　Carrock　as　guide。　　Messrs。　Idle　and

Goodchild；　highly　approving；　entered　the　Innkeeper's　house；　to

drink　whiskey　and　eat　oatcake。



The　Innkeeper　was　not　idle　enough　…　was　not　idle　at　all；　which　was

a　great　fault　in　him　…　but　was　a　fine　specimen　of　a　north…country

man；　or　any　kind　of　man。　　He　had　a　ruddy　cheek；　a　bright　eye；　a

well…knit　frame；　an　immense　hand；　a　cheery；　outspeaking　voice；　and

a　straight；　bright；　broad　look。　　He　had　a　drawing…room；　too；

upstairs；　which　was　worth　a　visit　to　the　Cumberland　Fells。　　（This

was　Mr。　Francis　Goodchild's　opinion；　in　which　Mr。　Thomas　Idle　did

not　concur。）



The　ceiling　of　this　drawing…room　was　so　crossed　and　recrossed　by

beams　of　unequal　lengths；　radiating　from　a　centre；　in　a　corner；

that　it　looked　like　a　broken　star…fish。　　The　room　was　comfortably

and　solidly　furnished　with　good　mahogany　and　horsehair。　　It　had　a

snug　fireside；　and　a　couple　of　well…curtained　windows；　looking　out

upon　the　wild　country　behind　the　house。　　What　it　most　developed

was；　an　unexpected　taste　for　little　ornaments　and　nick…nacks；　of

which　it　contained　a　most　surprising　number。　　They　were　not　very

various；　consisting　in　great　part　of　waxen　babies　with　their　limbs

more　or　less　mutilated；　appealing　on　one　leg　to　the　parental

affections　from　under　little　cupping　glasses；　but；　Uncle　Tom　was

there；　in　crockery；　receiving　theological　instructions　from　Miss

Eva；　who　grew　out　of　his　side　like　a　wen；　in　an　exceedingly　rough

state　of　profile　propagandism。　　Engravings　of　Mr。　Hunt's　country

boy；　before　and　after　his　pie；　were　on　the　wall；　divided　by　a

highly…coloured　nautical　piece；　the　subject　of　which　had　all　her

colours　（and　more）　flying；　and　was　making　great　way　through　a　sea

of　a　regular　pattern；　like