the essays of montaigne, v6-第2章
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intermissions and paroxysms; that has seized but on one part of us。
Whereas in friendship; 'tis a general and universal fire; but temperate
and equal; a constant established heat; all gentle and smooth; without
poignancy or roughness。 Moreover; in love; 'tis no other than frantic
desire for that which flies from us:
〃Come segue la lepre il cacciatore
Al freddo; al caldo; alla montagna; al lito;
Ne piu l'estima poi the presa vede;
E sol dietro a chi fugge affretta il piede〃
'〃As the hunter pursues the hare; in cold and heat; to the mountain;
to the shore; nor cares for it farther when he sees it taken; and
only delights in chasing that which flees from him。〃Aristo; x。 7。'
so soon as it enters unto the terms of friendship; that is to say; into a
concurrence of desires; it vanishes and is gone; fruition destroys it;
as having only a fleshly end; and such a one as is subject to satiety。
Friendship; on the contrary; is enjoyed proportionably as it is desired;
and only grows up; is nourished and improved by enjoyment; as being of
itself spiritual; and the soul growing still more refined by practice。
Under this perfect friendship; the other fleeting affections have in my
younger years found some place in me; to say nothing of him; who himself
so confesses but too much in his verses; so that I had both these
passions; but always so; that I could myself well enough distinguish
them; and never in any degree of comparison with one another; the first
maintaining its flight in so lofty and so brave a place; as with disdain
to look down; and see the other flying at a far humbler pitch below。
As concerning marriage; besides that it is a covenant; the entrance into
which only is free; but the continuance in it forced and compulsory;
having another dependence than that of our own free will; and a bargain
commonly contracted to other ends; there almost always happens a thousand
intricacies in it to unravel; enough to break the thread and to divert
the current of a lively affection: whereas friendship has no manner of
business or traffic with aught but itself。 Moreover; to say truth; the
ordinary talent of women is not such as is sufficient to maintain the
conference and communication required to the support of this sacred tie;
nor do they appear to be endued with constancy of mind; to sustain the
pinch of so hard and durable a knot。 And doubtless; if without this;
there could be such a free and voluntary familiarity contracted; where
not only the souls might have this entire fruition; but the bodies also
might share in the alliance; and a man be engaged throughout; the
friendship would certainly be more full and perfect; but it is without
example that this sex has ever yet arrived at such perfection; and; by
the common consent of the ancient schools; it is wholly rejected from it。
That other Grecian licence is justly abhorred by our manners; which also;
from having; according to their practice; a so necessary disparity of age
and difference of offices betwixt the lovers; answered no more to the
perfect union and harmony that we here require than the other:
〃Quis est enim iste amor amicitiae? cur neque deformem
adolescentem quisquam amat; neque formosum senem?〃
'〃For what is that friendly love? why does no one love a deformed
youth or a comely old man?〃Cicero; Tusc。 Quaes。; iv。 33。'
Neither will that very picture that the Academy presents of it; as I
conceive; contradict me; when I say; that this first fury inspired by the
son of Venus into the heart of the lover; upon sight of the flower and
prime of a springing and blossoming youth; to which they allow all the
insolent and passionate efforts that an immoderate ardour can produce;
was simply founded upon external beauty; the false image of corporal
generation; for it could not ground this love upon the soul; the sight of
which as yet lay concealed; was but now springing; and not of maturity to
blossom; that this fury; if it seized upon a low spirit; the means by
which it preferred its suit were rich presents; favour in advancement to
dignities; and such trumpery; which they by no means approve; if on a
more generous soul; the pursuit was suitably generous; by philosophical
instructions; precepts to revere religion; to obey the laws; to die for
the good of one's country; by examples of valour; prudence; and justice;
the lover studying to render himself acceptable by the grace and beauty
of the soul; that of his body being long since faded and decayed; hoping
by this mental society to establish a more firm and lasting contract。
When this courtship came to effect in due season (for that which they do
not require in the lover; namely; leisure and discretion in his pursuit;
they strictly require in the person loved; forasmuch as he is to judge of
an internal beauty; of difficult knowledge and abstruse discovery); then
there sprung in the person loved the desire of a spiritual conception;
by the mediation of a spiritual beauty。 This was the principal; the
corporeal; an accidental and secondary matter; quite the contrary as to
the lover。 For this reason they prefer the person beloved; maintaining
that the gods in like manner preferred him too; and very much blame the
poet AEschylus for having; in the loves of Achilles and Patroclus; given
the lover's part to Achilles; who was in the first and beardless flower
of his adolescence; and the handsomest of all the Greeks。 After this
general community; the sovereign; and most worthy part presiding and
governing; and performing its proper offices; they say; that thence great
utility was derived; both by private and public concerns; that it
constituted the force and power of the countries where it prevailed; and
the chiefest security of liberty and justice。 Of which the healthy loves
of Harmodius and Aristogiton are instances。 And therefore it is that
they called it sacred and divine; and conceive that nothing but the
violence of tyrants and the baseness of the common people are inimical to
it。 Finally; all that can be said in favour of the Academy is; that it
was a love which ended in friendship; which well enough agrees with the
Stoical definition of love:
〃Amorem conatum esse amicitiae faciendae
ex pulchritudinis specie。〃
'〃Love is a desire of contracting friendship arising from the beauty
of the object。〃Cicero; Tusc。 Quaes。; vi。 34。'
I return to my own more just and true description:
〃Omnino amicitiae; corroboratis jam confirmatisque;
et ingeniis; et aetatibus; judicandae sunt。〃
'〃Those are only to be reputed friendships that are fortified and
confirmed by judgement and the length of time。〃
Cicero; De Amicit。;c。 20。'
For the rest; what we commonly call friends and friendships; are nothing
but acquaintance and familiarities; either occasionally contracted; or
upon some design; by means of which there happens some little intercourse
betwixt our souls。 But in the friendship I speak of; they mix and work
themselves into one piece; with so universal a mixture; that there is no
more sign of the seam by which they were first conjoined。 If a man
should importune me to give a reason why I loved him; I find it could no
otherwise be expressed; than by making answer: because it was he; because
it was I。 There is; beyond all that I am able to say; I know not what
inexplicable and fated power that brought on this union。 We sought one
another long before we met; and by the characters we heard of one
another; which wrought upon our affections more than; in reason; mere
reports should do; I think 'twas by some secret appointment of heaven。
We embraced in our names; and at our first meeting; which was
accidentally at a great city entertainment; we found ourselves so
mutually taken with one another; so acquainted; and so endeared betwixt
ourselves; that from thenceforward nothing was so near to us as one
another。 He wrote an excellent Latin satire; since printed; wherein he
excuses the precipitation of our intelligence; so suddenly come to
perfection