hemingway, ernest - garden of eden-第4章
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〃Dave； you don't mind if we've gone to the devil； do you？〃
〃No； girl；〃 he said。
〃Don't call me girl。〃
〃Where I'm holding you you are a girl；〃 he said。 He held her tight around her breasts and he opened and closed his fingers feeling her and the hard erect freshness between his fingers。
〃They're just my dowry；〃 she said。 〃The new is my surprise。 Feel。 No leave them。 They'll be there。 Feel my cheeks and the back of my neck。 Oh it feels so wonderful and good and clean and new。 Please love me David the way I am。 Please under stand and love me。〃
He had shut his eyes and he could feel the long light weight of her on him and her breasts pressing against him and her lips on his。 He lay there and felt something and then her hand holding him and searching lower and he helped with his hands and then lay back in the dark and did not think at all and only felt the weight and the strangeness inside and she said； 〃Now you can't tell who is who can you？〃
〃You are changing；〃 she said。 〃Oh you are。 You are。 Yes you are and you're my girl Catherine。 Will you change and be my girl and let me take you？〃
〃You're Catherine。〃
〃No。 I'm Peter。 You're my wonderful Catherine。 You're my beautiful lovely Catherine。 You were so good to change。 Oh thank you； Catherine； so much。 Please understand。 Please know and understand。 I'm going to make love to you forever。〃
At the end they were both dead and empty but it was not over。 They lay side by side in the dark with their legs touching and her head was on his arm。 The moon had risen and there was a little more light in the room。 She ran her hand exploringly down over his belly without looking and said； 〃You don't think I'm wicked？〃
〃Of course not。 But how long have you thought about that？〃
〃Not all the time。 But quite a lot。 You were so wonderful to let it happen。〃
The young man put his arms around the girl and held her very tight to him and felt her lovely breasts against his chest and kissed her on her dear mouth。 He held her close and hard and inside himself he said goodbye and then goodbye and goodbye。
〃Let's lie very still and quiet and hold each other and not think at all；〃 he said and his heart said goodbye Catherine good bye my lovely girl goodbye and good luck and goodbye。
Chapter Two
HE STOOD UP and looked up and down the beach； corked the bottle of oil and put it in a side pocket of the rucksack and then walked down to the sea feeling the sand grow cool under his feet。 He looked at the girl on her back on the sloping beach； her eyes closed； her arms against her sides； and behind her the slanted square of canvas and the first tufts of beach grass。 She ought not to stay too long in that position with the sun straight up and down on her； he thought。 Then he walked out and dove flat into the clear cold water and turned on his back and swam backstroke out to sea watching the beach beyond the steady beat of his legs and feet。 He turned in the water and swam down to the bottom and touched the coarse sand and felt the heavy ridges of it and then came up to the surface and swam steadily in； seeing how slow he could keep the beat of his crawl。 He walked up to the girl and saw that she was asleep。 He found his wristwatch in the rucksack to check the time when he should wake her。 There was a cold bottle of white wine wrapped in a newspaper and with their towels around it。 He uncorked it without removing the paper or the towels and took a cool draught from the awkward bundle。 Then he sat down to watch the girl and to look out to sea。
This sea was always colder than it looked； he thought。 It did not really warm until the middle of summer except on the shallow beaches。 This beach dropped off quite suddenly and the water had been sharply cold until the swimming warmed him。 He looked out at the sea and the high clouds and noticed how far the fishing fleet was working to the westward。 Then he looked at the girl sleeping on the sand that was quite dry now and beginning to blow delicately with the rising wind when his feet stirred。
During the night he had felt her hands touching him。 And when he woke it was in the moonlight and she had made the dark magic of the change again and he did not say no when she spoke to him and asked the questions and he felt the change so that it hurt him all through and when it was finished after they were both exhausted she was shaking and she whispered to him； 〃Now we have done it。 Now we really have done it。〃
Yes； he thought。 Now we have really done it。 And when she went to sleep suddenly like a tired young girl and lay beside him lovely in the moonlight that showed the beautiful new strange line of her head as she slept on her side he leaned over and said to her but not aloud； 〃I'm with you。 No matter what else you have in your head I'm with you and I love you。〃
In the morning he had been very hungry for breakfast but he waited for her to wake。 He kissed her finally and she woke and smiled and got up sleepily and washed in the big basin and slouched in front of the mirror of the armoire and brushed her hair and looked at the mirror unsmiling and then smiled and touched her cheeks with the tips of her fingers and pulled a striped shirt over her head and then kissed him。 She stood straight so her breasts pushed against his chest and she said； 〃Don't worry； David。 I'm your good girl come back again。
But he was very worried now and he thought what will become of us if things have gone this wildly and this dangerously and this fast？ What can there be that will not burn out in a fire that rages like that？ We were happy and I am sure she was happy。 But who ever knows？ And who are you to judge and who participated and who accepted the change and lived it？ If that is what she wants who are you not to wish her to have it？ You're lucky to have a wife like her and a sin is what you feel bad after and you don't feel bad。 Not with the wine you don't feel bad； he told himself； and what will you drink when the wine won't cover for you？
He took the bottle of oil out of the rucksack and put a little oil on the girl's chin and on her cheeks and on her nose and found a blue faded patterned handkerchief in the canvas pocket of the rucksack and laid it across her breast。
〃Must I stop？〃 the girl asked。 〃I'm having the most wonderful dream。〃
〃Finish the dream；〃 he said。
〃Thank you。〃
In a few minutes she breathed very deeply and shook her head and sat up。
〃Let's go in now；〃 she said。
They went in together and swam out and then played under water like porpoises。 When they swam in they dried each other off with towels and he handed her the bottle of wine that was still cool in the rolled newspaper and they each took a drink and she looked at him and laughed。
〃It's nice to drink it for thirst；〃 she said。 〃You don't really mind being brothers do you？〃
〃No。〃 He touched her forehead and her nose and then her cheeks and chin with the oil and then put it carefully above and behind her ears。
〃I want to get behind my ears and neck tanned and over my cheekbones。 All the new places。〃
〃You're awfully dark； brother；〃 he said。 〃You don't know how dark。〃
〃I like it；〃 the girl said。 〃But I want to be darker。〃
They lay on the beach on the firm sand that was dry now but still cool after the high tide had fallen。 The young man put some oil on the palm of his hand and spread it lightly with his fingers over the girl's thighs and they glowed warm as the skin took the oil。 He went on spreading it over her belly and breasts and the girl said sleepily； 〃We don't look very much like brothers when we're this way do we？〃
〃No。〃
〃I'm trying to be such a very good girl；〃 she said。 〃Truly you don't have to worry darling until night。 We won't let the night things come in the day。〃
At the hotel the postman was having a drink while he waited for the girl to sign for a large forwarding envelope heavy with enclosed letters from her bank in Paris。 There were three letters re…addressed from his bank； too。 It was the first mail since they had sent the hotel as a forwarding address。 The young man gave the postman five francs and asked him to have another glass of wine with him at the zinc bar。 The girl unhooked the key from the board and said； 〃
