the law and the lady-第96章
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as well as for the memory of the unhappy woman who was once his
wife。
These necessary disclosures I have communicated to my
husbandnot by word of mouth; when the time came; I shrank from
speaking to him personally of his first wifebut by a written
statement of the circumstances; taken mainly out of my letters
received in Paris from Benjamin and Mr。 Playmore。 He has now had
ample time to read all that I have written to him; and to reflect
on it in the retirement of his own study。 I am waiting; with the
fatal letter in my handand my mother…in…law is waiting in the
next room to meto hear from his own lips whether he decides to
break the seal or not。
The minutes pass; and still we fail to hear his footstep on the
stairs。 My doubts as to which way his decision may turn affect me
more and more uneasily the longer I wait。 The very possession of
the letter; in the present excited state of my nerves; oppresses
and revolts me。 I shrink from touching it or looking at it。 I
move it about restlessly from place to place on the bed; and
still I cannot keep it out of my mind。 At last; an odd fancy
strikes me。 I lift up one of the baby's hands; and put the letter
under itand so associate that dreadful record of sin and misery
with something innocent and pretty that seems to hallow and to
purify it。
The minutes pass; the half…hour longer strikes from the clock on
the chimney…piece; and at last I hear him! He knocks softly; and
opens the door。
He is deadly pale: I fancy I can detect traces of tears on his
cheeks。 But no outward signs of agitation escape him as he takes
his seat by my side。 I can see that he has waited until he could
control himselffor my sake。
He takes my hand; and kisses me tenderly。
〃Valeria!〃 he says; 〃let me once more ask you to forgive what I
said and did in the bygone time。 If I understand nothing else; my
love; I understand this: The proof of my innocence has been
found; and I owe it entirely to the courage and the devotion of
my wife!〃
I wait a little; to enjoy the full luxury of hearing him say
those wordsto revel in the love and the gratitude that moisten
his dear eyes as they look at me。 Then I rouse my resolution; and
put the momentous question on which our future depends。
〃Do you wish to see the letter; Eustace?〃
Instead of answering directly; he questions me in his turn。
〃Have you got the letter here?〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Sealed up?〃
〃Sealed up。〃
He waits a little; considering what he is going to say next
before he says it;
〃Let me be sure that I know exactly what it is I have to decide;〃
he proceeds。 〃Suppose I insist on reading the letter?〃
There I interrupt him。 I know it is my duty to restrain myself。
But I cannot do my duty。
〃My darling; don't talk of reading the letter! Pray; pray spare
yourself〃
He holds up his hand for silence。
〃I am not thinking of myself;〃 he says。 〃I am thinking of my dead
wife。 If I give up the public vindication of my innocence; in my
own lifetimeif I leave the seal of the letter unbrokendo you
say; as Mr。 Playmore says; that I shall be acting mercifully and
tenderly toward the memory of my wife?〃
〃Oh; Eustace; there cannot be the shadow of a doubt of it!〃
〃Shall I be making some little atonement for any pain that I may
have thoughtlessly caused her to suffer in her lifetime?〃
〃Yes! yes!〃
〃And; Valeriashall I please You?〃
〃My darling; you will enchant me!〃
〃Where is the letter?〃
〃In your son's hand; Eustace。〃
He goes around to the other side of the bed; and lifts the baby's
little pink hand to his lips。 For a while he waits so; in sad and
secret communion with himself。 I see his mother softly open the
door; and watch him as I am watching him。 In a moment more our
suspense is at an end。 With a heavy sigh; he lays the child's
hand back again on the sealed letter; and by that one little
action says (as if in words) to his son〃I leave it to You!〃
And so it ended! Not as I thought it would end; not perhaps as
you thought it would end。 What do we know of our own lives? What
do we know of the fulfillment of our dearest wishes? God
knowsand that is best。
Must I shut up the paper? Yes。 There is nothing more for you to
read or for me to say。
Except thisas a postscript。 Don't bear hardly; good people; on
the follies and the errors of my husband's life。 Abuse _me_ as
much as you please。 But pray think kindly of Eustace for my sake。
End