the law and the lady-第7章

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with　Me？〃

〃I　have　not　the　slightest　doubt　of　it；〃　he　answered；　coolly。

〃Why；　she　didn't　even　recognize　my　name！〃　I　burst　out。　〃Twice
over　the　landlady　called　me　Mrs。　Woodville　in　your　mother's
hearing；　and　twice　over；　I　declare　to　you　on　my　word　of　honor；　it
failed　to　produce　the　slightest　impression　on　her。　She　looked　and
acted　as　if　she　had　never　heard　her　own　name　before　in　her　life。〃

〃'Acted'　is　the　right　word；〃　he　said；　just　as　composedly　as
before。　〃The　women　on　the　stage　are　not　the　only　women　who　can
act。　My　mother's　object　was　to　make　herself　thoroughly　acquainted
with　you；　and　to　throw　you　off　your　guard　by　speaking　in　the
character　of　a　stranger。　It　is　exactly　like　her　to　take　that
roundabout　way　of　satisfying　her　curiosity　about　a
daughter…in…law　she　disapproves　　of　。　If　I　had　not　joined　you　when
I　did；　you　would　have　been　examined　and　cross…examined　about
yourself　and　about　me；　and　you　would　innocently　have　answered
under　the　impression　that　you　were　speaking　to　a　chance
acquaintance。　There　is　my　mother　all　over！　She　is　your　enemy；
remembernot　your　friend。　She　is　not　in　search　of　your　merits；
but　of　your　faults。　And　you　wonder　why　no　impression　was　produced
on　her　when　she　heard　you　addressed　by　your　name！　Poor　innocent！
I　can　tell　you　thisyou　only　discovered　my　mother　in　her　own
character　when　I　put　an　end　to　the　mystification　by　presenting
you　to　each　other。　You　saw　how　angry　she　was；　and　now　you　know
why。〃

I　let　him　go　on　without　saying　a　word。　I　listenedoh！　with　such
a　heavy　heart；　with　such　a　crushing　sense　of　disenchantment　and
despair！　The　idol　of　my　worship；　the　companion；　guide；　protector
of　my　lifehad　he　fallen　so　low？　could　he　stoop　to　such
shameless　prevarication　as　this？

Was　there　one　word　of　truth　in　all　that　he　had　said　to　me？　Yes！
If　I　had　not　discovered　his　mother's　portrait；　it　was　certainly
true　that　I　should　not　have　known；　not　even　have　vaguely
suspected；　who　she　really　was。　Apart　from　this；　the　rest　was
lying；　clumsy　lying；　which　said　one　thing　at　least　for　him；　that
he　was　not　accustomed　to　falsehood　and　deceit。　Good　Heavens！　if
my　husband　was　to　be　believed；　his　mother　must　have　tracked　us　to
London；　tracked　us　to　the　church；　tracked　us　to　the　railway
station；　tracked　us　to　Ramsgate！　To　assert　that　she　knew　me　by
sight　as　the　wife　of　Eustace；　and　that　she　had　waited　on　the
sands　and　dropped　her　letter　for　the　express　purpose　of　making
acquaintance　with　me；　was　also　to　assert　every　one　of　these
monstrous　probabilities　to　be　facts　that　had　actually　happened！

I　could　say　no　more。　I　walked　by　his　side　in　silence；　feeling　the
miserable　conviction　that　there　was　an　abyss　in　the　shape　of　a
family　secret　between　my　husband　and　me。　In　the　spirit；　if　not　in
the　body；　we　were　separated；　after　a　married　life　of　barely　four
days。

〃Valeria；〃　he　asked；　〃have　you　nothing　to　say　to　me？〃

〃Nothing。〃

〃Are　you　not　satisfied　with　my　explanation？〃

I　detected　a　slight　tremor　in　his　voice　as　he　put　that　question。
The　tone　was；　for　the　first　time　since　we　had　spoken　together；　a
tone　that　my　experience　associated　with　him　in　certain　moods　of
his　which　I　had　already　learned　to　know　well。　Among　the　hundred
thousand　mysterious　influences　which　a　man　exercises　over　a　woman
who　loves　him；　I　doubt　if　there　is　any　more　irresistible　to　her
than　the　influence　of　his　voice。　I　am　not　one　of　those　women　who
shed　tears　on　the　smallest　provocation：　it　is　not　in　my
temperament；　I　suppose。　But　when　I　heard　that　little　natural
change　in　his　tone　my　mind　went　back　（I　can't　say　why）　to　the
happy　day　when　I　first　owned　that　I　loved　him。　I　burst　out
crying。

He　suddenly　stood　still；　and　took　me　by　the　hand。　He　tried　to
look　at　me。

I　kept　my　head　down　and　my　eyes　on　the　ground。　I　was　ashamed　of
my　weakness　and　my　want　of　spirit。　I　was　determined　not　to　look
at　him。

In　the　silence　that　followed　he　suddenly　dropped　on　his　knees　at
my　feet；　with　a　cry　of　despair　that　cut　through　me　like　a　knife。

〃Valeria！　I　am　vileI　am　falseI　am　unworthy　of　you。　Don't
believe　a　word　of　what　I　have　been　sayinglies；　lies；　cowardly；
contemptible　lies！　You　don't　know　what　I　have　gone　through；　you
don't　know　how　I　have　been　tortured。　Oh；　my　darling；　try　not　to
despise　me！　I　must　have　been　beside　myself　when　I　spoke　to　you　as
I　did。　You　looked　hurt；　you　looked　offended；　I　didn't　know　what
to　do。　I　wanted　to　spare　you　even　a　moment's　painI　wanted　to
hush　it　up；　and　have　done　with　it。　For　God's　sake　don't　ask　me　to
tell　you　any　more！　My　love！　my　angel！　it's　something　between　my
mother　and　me；　it's　nothing　that　need　disturb　you；　it's　nothing
to　anybody　now。　I　love　you；　I　adore　you；　my　whole　heart　and　soul
are　yours。　Be　satisfied　with　that。　Forget　what　has　happened。　You
shall　never　see　my　mother　again。　We　will　leave　this　place
to…morrow。　We　will　go　away　in　the　yacht。　Does　it　matter　where　we
live；　so　long　as　we　live　for　each　other？　Forgive　and　forget！　Oh；
Valeria；　Valeria；　forgive　and　forget！〃

Unutterable　misery　was　in　his　face；　unutterable　misery　was　in　his
voice。　Remember　this。　And　remember　that　I　loved　him。

〃It　is　easy　to　forgive；〃　I　said；　sadly。　〃For　your　sake；　Eustace；
I　will　try　to　forget。〃

I　raised　him　gently　as　I　spoke。　He　kissed　my　hands　with　the　air
of　a　man　who　was　too　humble　to　venture　on　any　more　familiar
expression　of　his　gratitude　than　that。　The　sense　of　embarrassment
between　us　as　we　slowly　walked　on　again　was　so　unendurable　that　I
actually　cast　about　in　my　mind　for　a　subject　of　conversation；　as
if　I　had　been　in　the　company　of　a　stranger！　In　mercy　to　_him_；　I
asked　him　to　tell　me　about　the　yacht。

He　seized　on　the　subject　as　a　drowning　man　seizes　on　the　hand
that　rescues　him。

On　that　one　poor　little　topic　of　the　yacht　he　talked；　talked；
talked；　as　if　his　life　depended　upon　his　not　being　silent　for　an
instant　on　the　rest　of　the　way　back。　To　me　it　was　dreadful　to
hear　him。　I　could　estimate　what　he　was　suffering　by　the　violence
which　heordinarily　a　silent　and　thoughtful　manwas　now　doing
to　his　true　nature；　and　to　the　prejudices　and　habits　of　his　life。
With　the　greatest　difficulty　I　preserved　my　self…control　until　we
reached　the　door　of　our　lodgings。　There　I　was　obliged　to　plead
fatigue；　and　ask　him　to　let　me　rest　for　a　little　while　in　the
solitude　of　my　own　room。

〃Shall　we　sail　to…morrow？〃　he　called　after　me　suddenly；　as　I
ascended　the　stairs。

Sail　with　him　to　the　Mediterranean　the　next　day？　Pass　weeks　and
weeks　absolutely　alone　with　him；　in　the　narrow　limits　of　a
vessel；　with　his　horrible　secret　parting　us　in　sympathy　further
and　further　from　each　other　day　by　day？　I　shuddered　at　the
thought　of　it。

〃To…morrow　is　rather　a　short　notice；〃　I　said。　〃Will　you　give　me　a
little　longer　time　to　prepare　for　the　voyage？〃

〃Oh　yestake　any　time　you　like；〃　he　answered；　not　（as　I　thought）
very　willingly。　〃While　you　are　restingthere　are　still　one　or
two　little　things　to　be　settledI　think　I　will　go　back　to　the
yacht。　Is　there　anything　I　can　do　for　you；　Valeria；　before　I　go？〃

〃Nothingthank　you；　Eustace。〃

He　hastened　away　to　the　harbor。　Was　he　afraid　of　his　own
thoughts；　if　he　were　left　by　himself　in　the　house。　Was　the
company　of　the　sailing…master　and　the　steward　better　than　no
company　at　all？

It　was　useless　to　ask。　What　did　I　know　about　him　or　his　thoughts？
I　locked　myself　into　my　room。


CHAPTER　V。

THE　LANDLADY'S　DISCOVERY。

　I　SAT　down；　and　tried　to　compose　my　spirits。　Now　or　never　was
the　time　to　decide　what　it　was　my　duty　to　my　husband　and　my　duty
to　myself　to　do　next。

The　effort　was　beyond　me。　Worn　out　in　mind　and　body　alike；　I　was
perfectly　incapable　of　pursuing　any　regular　train　of　thought。　I
vaguely　feltif　I　left　things　as　they　werethat　I　could　never
hope　to　remove　the　shadow　which　now　rested　on　the　married　life
that　had　begun　so　brightly。　We　might　live　together；　so　as　to　save
appearances。　But　to　forget　what　had　happened；　or　to　feel
satisfied　with　my　position；　was　beyond　the　power　of　my　will。　My
tranquillity　as　a　womanperhaps　my　dearest　interests　as　a
wifedepended　absolutely　on　penetrating　the　mystery　of　my
mother…in…law's　conduct；　and　on　discovering　the　true　meaning　of
the　wi