the law and the lady-第42章

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communicate　with　him；　that　the　charm　by　which　she　hoped　to　win
his　heartsay　the　charm　of　a　pretty　complexionhad　been
artificially　acquired　by　the　perilous　use　of　a　deadly　poison？　The
bare　idea　of　such　a　thing　is　absurd。　Of　course　nobody　ever　heard
Mrs。　Eustace　Macallan　speak　of　arsenic。　Of　course　nobody　ever
surprised　her　in　the　act　of　taking　arsenic。　It　is　in　the　evidence
that　she　would　not　even　confide　her　intention　to　try　the　poison
to　the　friends　who　had　told　her　of　it　as　a　remedy；　and　who　had
got　her　the　book。　She　actually　begged　them　to　consider　their
brief　conversation　on　the　subject　as　strictly　private。　From　first
to　last；　poor　creature；　she　kept　her　secret；　just　as　she　would
have　kept　her　secret　if　she　had　worn　false　hair；　or　if　she　had
been　indebted　to　the　dentist　for　her　teeth。　And　there　you　see　her
husband；　in　peril　of　his　life；　because　a　woman　acted　_like_　a
womanas　your　wives；　gentlemen　of　the　Jury；　would；　in　a　similar
position；　act　toward　You。〃

After　such　glorious　oratory　as　this　（I　wish　I　had　room　to　quote
more　of　it！）；　the　next；　and　last；　speech　delivered　at　the
Trialthat　is　to　say；　the　Charge　of　the　Judge　to　the　Juryis
dreary　reading　indeed。

His　lordship　first　told　the　Jury　that　they　could　not　expect　to
have　direct　evidence　of　the　poisoning。　Such　evidence　hardly　ever
occurred　in　cases　of　poisoning。　They　must　be　satisfied　with　the
best　circumstantial　evidence。　All　quite　true；　I　dare　say。　But；
having　told　the　Jury　they　might　accept　circumstantial　evidence；
he　turned　back　again　on　his　own　words；　and　warned　them　against
being　too　ready　to　trust　it！　〃You　must　have　evidence　satisfactory
and　convincing　to　your　own　minds；〃　he　said；　〃in　which　you　find　no
conjecturesbut　only　irresistible　and　just　inferences。〃　Who　is
to　decide　what　is　a　just　inference？　And　what　is　circumstantial
evidence　_but_　conjecture？

After　this　specimen；　I　need　give　no　further　extracts　from　the
summing　up。　The　Jury；　thoroughly　bewildered　no　doubt；　took　refuge
in　a　compromise。　They　occupied　an　hour　in　considering　and
debating　among　themselves　in　their　own　room。　（A　jury　of　women
would　not　have　taken　a　minute！）　Then　they　returned　into　Court；
and　gave　their　timid　and　trimming　Scotch　Verdict　in　these　words：

〃Not　Proven。〃

Some　slight　applause　followed　among　the　audience；　which　was
instantly　checked。　The　prisoner　was　dismissed　from　the　Bar。　He
slowly　retired；　like　a　man　in　deep　grief：　his　head　sunk　on　his
breastnot　looking　at　any　one；　and　not　replying　when　his　friends
spoke　to　him。　He　knew；　poor　fellow；　the　slur　that　the　Verdict
left　on　him。　〃We　don't　say　you　are　innocent　of　the　crime　charged
against　you；　we　only　say　there　is　not　evidence　enough　to　convict
you。〃　In　that　lame　and　impotent　conclusion　the　proceedings　ended
at　the　time。　And　there　they　would　have　remained　for　all　timebut
for　Me。



CHAPTER　XXI。

I　SEE　MY　WAY。

　IN　the　gray　light　of　the　new　morning　I　closed　the　Report　of　my
husband's　Trial　for　the　Murder　of　his　first　Wife。

No　sense　of　fatigue　overpowered　me。　I　had　no　wish；　after　my　long
hours　of　reading　and　thinking；　to　lie　down　and　sleep。　It　was
strange；　but　it　was　so。　I　felt　as　if　I　_had_　slept；　and　had　now
just　awakeneda　new　woman；　with　a　new　mind。

I　could　now　at　last　understand　Eustace's　desertion　of　me。　To　a
man　of　his　refinement　it　would　have　been　a　martyrdom　to　meet　his
wife　after　she　had　read　the　things　published　of　him　to　all　the
world　in　the　Report。　I　felt　that　as　he　would　have　felt　it。　At　the
same　time　I　thought　he　might　have　trusted　Me　to　make　amends　to
him　for　the　martyrdom；　and　might　have　come　back。　Perhaps　it　might
yet　end　in　his　coming　back。　In　the　meanwhile；　and　in　that
expectation；　I　pitied　and　forgave　him　with　my　whole　heart。

One　little　matter　only　dwelt　on　my　mind　disagreeably；　in　spite　of
my　philosophy。　Did　Eustace　still　secretly　love　Mrs。　Beauly？　or
had　I　extinguished　that　passion　in　him？　To　what　order　of　beauty
did　this　lady　belong？　Were　we　by　any　chance；　the　least　in　the
world　like　one　another？

The　window　of　my　room　looked　to　the　east。　I　drew　up　the　blind；
and　saw　the　sun　rising　grandly　in　a　clear　sky。　The　temptation　to
go　out　and　breathe　the　fresh　morning　air　was　irresistible。　I　put
on　my　hat　and　shawl；　and　took　the　Report　of　the　Trial　under　my
arm。　The　bolts　of　the　back　door　were　easily　drawn。　In　another
minute　I　was　out　in　Benjamin's　pretty　little　garden。

Composed　and　strengthened　by　the　inviting　solitude　and　the
delicious　air；　I　found　courage　enough　to　face　the　serious
question　that　now　confronted　methe　question　of　the　future。

I　had　read　the　Trial。　I　had　vowed　to　devote　my　life　to　the　sacred
object　of　vindicating　my　husband's　innocence。　A　solitary；
defenseless　woman；　I　stood　pledged　to　myself　to　carry　that
desperate　resolution　through　to　an　end。　How　was　I　to　begin？

The　bold　way　of　beginning　was　surely　the　wise　way　in　such　a
position　as　mine。　I　had　good　reasons　（founded；　as　I　have　already
mentioned；　on　the　important　part　played　by　this　witness　at　the
Trial）　for　believing　that　the　fittest　person　to　advise　and　assist
me　wasMiserrimus　Dexter。　He　might　disappoint　the　expectations
that　I　had　fixed　on　him；　or　he　might　refuse　to　help　me；　or　（like
my　uncle　Starkweather）　he　might　think　I　had　taken　leave　of　my
senses。　All　these　events　were　possible。　Nevertheless；　I　held　to
my　resolution　to　try　the　experiment。　If　he　were　in　the　land　of
the　living；　I　decided　that　my　first　step　at　starting　should　take
me　to　the　deformed　man　with　the　strange　name。

Supposing　he　received　me；　sympathized　with　me；　understood　me？
What　would　he　say？　The　nurse；　in　her　evidence；　had　reported　him
as　speaking　in　an　off…hand　manner。　He　would　say；　in　all
probability；　〃What　do　you　mean　to　do？　And　how　can　I　help　you　to
do　it？〃

Had　I　answers　ready　if　those　two　plain　questions　were　put　to　me？
Yes！　if　I　　dared　own　to　any　human　creatu　re　what　was　at　that　very
moment　secretly　fermenting　in　my　mind。　Yes！　if　I　could　confide　to
a　stranger　a　suspicion　roused　in　me　by　the　Trial　which　I　have
been　thus　far　afraid　to　mention　even　in　these　pages！

It　must；　nevertheless；　be　mentioned　now。　My　suspicion　led　to
results　which　are　part　of　my　story　and　part　of　my　life。

Let　me　own；　then；　to　begin　with；　that　I　closed　the　record　of　the
Trial　actually　agreeing　in　one　important　particular　with　the
opinion　of　my　enemy　and　my　husband's　enemythe　Lord　Advocate！　He
had　characterized　the　explanation　of　Mrs。　Eustace　Macallan's
death　offered　by　the　defense　as　a　〃clumsy　subterfuge；　in　which　no
reasonable　being　could　discern　the　smallest　fragment　of
probability。〃　Without　going　quite　so　far　as　this；　I；　too；　could
see　no　reason　whatever　in　the　evidence　for　assuming　that　the　poor
woman　had　taken　an　overdose　of　the　poison　by　mistake。　I　believed
that　she　had　the　arsenic　secretly　in　her　possession；　and　that　she
had　tried；　or　intended　to　try；　the　use　of　it　internally；　for　the
purpose　of　improving　her　complexion。　But　further　than　this　I
could　not　advance。　The　more　I　thought　of　it；　the　more　plainly
justified　the　lawyers　for　the　prosecution　seemed　to　me　to　be　in
declaring　that　Mrs。　Eustace　Macallan　had　died　by　the　hand　of　a
poisoneralthough　they　were　entirely　and　certainly　mistaken　in
charging　my　husband　with　the　crime。

My　husband　being　innocent；　somebody　else；　on　my　own　showing；　must
be　guilty。　Who　among　the　persons　inhabiting　the　house　at　the　time
had　poisoned　Mrs。　Eustace　Macallan？　My　suspicion　in　answering
that　question　pointed　straight　to　a　woman。　And　the　name　of　that
woman　wasMrs。　Beauly！

Yes！　To　that　startling　conclusion　I　had　arrived。　It　was；　to　my
mind；　the　inevitable　result　of　reading　the　evidence。

Look　back　for　a　moment　to　the　letter　produced　in　court；　signed
〃Helena；〃　and　addressed　to　Mr。　Macallan。　No　reasonable　person　can
doubt　（though　the　Judges　excused　her　from　answering　the　question）
that　Mrs。　Beauly　was　the　writer。　Very　well。　The　letter　offers；　as
I　think；　trustworthy　evidence　to　show　the　state　of　the　woman's
mind　when　she　paid　her　visit　to　Gleninch。

Writing　to　Mr。　Macallan；　at　a　time　when　she　was　married　to
another　mana　man　to　whom　she　had　engaged　herself　before　she　met
with　Mr。　Macallan　what　does　she　say？　She　says；　〃Wh