the law and the lady-第4章
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birth and breeding； and who is also a friend of mine？'〃
Eustace stopped me there。
〃Did you answer your uncle's question？〃 he asked。
〃No；〃 I replied。 〃I only said that I did not understand the
major's conduct。〃
〃And what did your uncle say next？ If you love me； Valeria； tell
me the truth。〃
〃He used very stron g language； Eustace。 He is an old man； you
must not be offended with him。〃
〃I am not offended。 What did he say？〃
〃He said； 'Mark my words！ There is something under the surface in
connection with Mr。 Woodville； or with his family； to which Major
Fitz…David is not at liberty to allude。 Properly interpreted；
Valeria； that letter is a warning。 Show it to Mr。 Woodville； and
tell him （if you like） what I have just told you'〃
Eustace stopped me again。
〃You are sure your uncle said those words？〃 he asked； scanning my
face attentively in the moonlight。
〃Quite sure。 But I don't say what my uncle says。 Pray don't think
that！〃
He suddenly pressed me to his bosom； and fixed his eyes on mine。
His look frightened me。
〃Good…by； Valeria！〃 he said。 〃Try and think kindly of me； my
darling； when you are married to some happier man。〃
He attempted to leave me。 I clung to him in an agony of terror
that shook me from head to foot。
〃What do you mean？〃 I asked； as soon as I could speak。 〃I am
yours and yours only。 What have I said； what have I done； to
deserve those dreadful words？〃
〃We must part； my angel；〃 he answered； sadly。 〃The fault is none
of yours； the misfortune is all mine。 My Valeria！ how can you
marry a man who is an object of suspicion to your nearest and
dearest friends？ I have led a dreary life。 I have never found in
any other woman the sympathy with me； the sweet comfort and
companionship； that I find in you。 Oh； it is hard to lose you！ it
is hard to go back again to my unfriended life！ I must make the
sacrifice； love； for your sake。 I know no more why that letter is
what it is than you do。 Will your uncle believe me？ will your
friends believe me？ One last kiss； Valeria！ Forgive me for having
loved youpassionately； devotedly loved you。 Forgive meand let
me go！〃
I held him desperately； recklessly。 His eyes； put me beside
myself； his words filled me with a frenzy of despair。
〃Go where you may；〃 I said； 〃I go with you！
FriendsreputationI care nothing who I lose； or what I lose！
Oh； Eustace； I am only a womandon't madden me！ I can't live
without you。 I must and will be your wife！〃
Those wild words were all I could say before the misery and
madness in me forced their way outward in a burst of sobs and
tears。
He yielded。 He soothed me with his charming voice； he brought me
back to myself with his tender caresses。 He called the bright
heaven above us to witness that he devoted his whole life to me。
He vowedoh； in such solemn； such eloquent words！that his one
thought； night and day； should be to prove himself worthy of such
love as mine。 And had he not nobly redeemed the pledge？ Had not
the betrothal of that memorable night been followed by the
betrothal at the altar； by the vows before God！ Ah； what a life
was before me！ What more than mortal happiness was mine！
Again I lifted my head from his bosom to taste the dear delight
of seeing him by my sidemy life； my love； my husband； my own！
Hardly awakened yet from the absorbing memories of the past to
the sweet realities of the present； I let my cheek touch his
cheek； I whispered to him softly； 〃Oh； how I love you！ how I love
you！〃
The next instant I started back from him。 My heart stood still。 I
put my hand up to my face。 What did I feel on my cheek？ （_I_ had
not been weepingI was too happy。） What did I feel on my cheek？
A tear！
His face was still averted from me。 I turned it toward me； with
my own hands； by main force。
I looked at himand saw my husband； on our wedding…day； with his
eyes full of tears。
CHAPTER III。
RAMSGATE SANDS。
EUSTACE succeeded in quieting my alarm。 But I can hardly say
that he succeeded in satisfying my mind as well。
He had been thinking； he told me； of the contrast between his
past and his present life。 Bitter remembrance of the years that
had gone had risen in his memory； and had filled him with
melancholy misgivings of his capacity to make my life with him a
happy one。 He had asked himself if he had not met me too lateif
he were not already a man soured and broken by the
disappointments and disenchantments of the past？ Doubts such as
these； weighing more and more heavily on his mind； had filled his
eyes with the tears which I had discoveredtears which he now
entreated me； by my love for him； to dismiss from my memory
forever。
I forgave him； comforted him； revived him； but there were moments
when the remembrance of what I had seen troubled me in secret；
and when I asked myself if I really possessed my husband's full
confidence as he possessed mine。
We left the train at Ramsgate。
The favorite watering…place was empty； the season was just over。
Our arrangements for the wedding tour included a cruise to the
Mediterranean in a yacht lent to Eustace by a friend。 We were
both fond of the sea； and we were equally desirous； considering
the circumstances under which we had married； of escaping the
notice of friends and acquaintances。 With this object in view；
having celebrated our marriage privately in London； we had
decided on instructing the sailing…master of the yacht to join us
at Ramsgate。 At this port （when the season for visitors was at an
end） we could embark far more privately than at the popular
yachting stations situated in the Isle of Wight。
Three days passeddays of delicious solitude； of exquisite
happiness； never to be forgotten； never to be lived over again；
to the end of our lives！
Early on the morning of the fourth day； just before sunrise； a
trifling incident happened； which was noticeable； nevertheless；
as being strange to me in my experience of myself。
I awoke； suddenly and unaccountably； from a deep and dreamless
sleep with an all…pervading sensation of nervous uneasiness which
I had never felt before。 In the old days at the Vicarage my
capacity as a sound sleeper had been the subject of many a little
harmless joke。 From the moment when my head was on the pillow I
had never known what it was to awake until the maid knocked at my
door。 At all seasons and times the long and uninterrupted repose
of a child was the repose that I enjoyed。
And now I had awakened； without any assignable cause； hours
before my usual time。 I tried to compose myself to sleep again。
The effort was useless。 Such a restlessness possessed me that I
was not even able to lie still in the bed。 My husband was
sleeping soundly by my side。 In the fear of disturbing him I
rose； and put on my dressing…gown and slippers。
I went to the window。 The sun was just rising over the calm gray
sea。 For a while the majestic spectacle before me exercised a
tranquilizing influence on the irritable condition of my nerves。
But ere long the old restlessness returned upon me。 I walked
slowly to and fro in the room； until I was weary of the monotony
of the exercise。 I took up a book； and laid it aside again。 My
attention wandered； the author was powerless to recall it。 I got
on my feet once more； and looked at Eustace； and admired him and
loved him in his tranquil sleep。 I went back to the window； and
wearied of the beautiful morning。 I sat down before the glass and
looked at myself。 How haggard and worn I was already； through
awaking before my usual time！ I rose again； not knowing what to
do next。 The confinement to the four walls of the room began to
be intolerable to me。 I opened the door that led into my
husband's dressing…room； and entered it； to try if the change
would relieve me。
The first object that I noticed was his dressing…case； open on
the toilet…table。
I took out the bottles and pots and brushes and combs； the knives
and scissors in one compartment； the writing materials in
another。 I smelled the perfumes and pomatums； I busily cleaned
and dusted the bottles with my handkerchief as I took them out。
Little by little I completely emptied the dressing…case。 It was
lined with blue velvet
