the law and the lady-第23章

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The　false　name　in　which　he　had　married　me；　the　terrible　words　he
had　spoken　when　he　had　warned　me　to　respect　his　secret；　the　still
more　terrible　doubt　that　he　felt　of　me　at　that　momentit　was　all
intelligible　to　my　sympathies；　it　was　all　clear　to　my
understanding；　now。　I　got　up　again　from　the　sofa；　strong　in　a
daring　resolution　which　the　Scotch　Verdict　had　suddenly　kindled
in　mea　resolution　at　once　too　sacred　and　too　desperate　to　be
confided；　in　the　first　instance；　to　any　other　than　my　husband's
ear。

〃Take　me　to　Eustace！〃　I　cried。　〃I　am　strong　enough　to　bear
anything　now。〃

After　one　searching　look　at　me；　the　Major　silently　offered　me　his
arm；　and　led　me　out　of　the　room。



CHAPTER　XII。

THE　SCOTCH　VERDICT。

　We　walked　to　the　far　end　of　the　hall。　Major　Fitz…David　opened
the　door　of　a　long；　narrow　room　built　out　at　the　back　of　the
house　as　a　smoking…room；　and　extending　along　one　side　of　the
courtyard　as　far　as　the　stable　wall。

My　husband　was　alone　in　the　room；　seated　at　the　further　end　of
it；　near　the　fire…place。　He　started　to　his　feet　and　faced　me　in
silence　as　I　entered。　The　Major　softly　closed　the　door　on　us　and
retired。　Eustace　never　stirred　a　step　to　meet　me。　I　ran　to　him；
and　threw　my　arms　round　his　neck　and　kissed　him。　The　embrace　was
not　returned；　the　kiss　was　not　returned。　He　passively
submittednothing　more。

〃Eustace！〃　I　said；　〃I　never　loved　you　more　dearly　than　I　love　you
at　this　moment！　I　never　felt　for　you　as　I　feel　for　you　now！〃

He　released　himself　deliberately　from　my　arms。　He　signed　to　me
with　the　mechanical　courtesy　of　a　stranger　to　take　a　chair。

〃Thank　you；　Valeria；〃　he　answered；　in　cold；　measured　tones。　〃You
could　say　no　less　to　me；　after　what　has　happened；　and　you　could
say　no　more。　Thank　you。〃

We　were　standing　before　the　fire…place。　He　left　me；　and　walked
away　slowly　with　his　head　down；　apparently　intending　to　leave　the
room。

I　followed　himI　got　before　himI　placed　myself　between　him　and
the　door。

〃Why　do　you　leave　me？〃　I　said。　〃Why　do　you　speak　to　me　in　this
cruel　way？　Are　you　angry；　Eustace？　My　darling；　if　you　_are_
angry；　I　ask　you　to　forgive　me。〃

〃It　is　I　who　ought　to　ask　_your_　pardon；〃　he　replied。　〃I　beg　you
to　forgive　me；　Valeria；　for　having　made　you　my　wife。〃

He　pronounced　those　words　with　a　hopeless；　heart…broken　humility
dreadful　to　see。　I　laid　my　hand　on　his　bosom。　I　said；　〃Eustace；
look　at　me。〃

He　slowly　lifted　his　eyes　to　my　faceeyes　cold　and　clear　and
tearlesslooking　at　me　in　steady　resignation；　in　immovable
despair。　In　the　utter　wretchedness　of　that　moment；　I　was　like
him；　I　was　as　quiet　and　as　cold　as　my　husband。　He　chilled；　he
froze　me。

〃Is　it　possible；〃　I　said；　〃that　you　doubt　my　belief　in　your
innocence？〃

He　left　the　question　unanswered。　He　sighed　bitterly　to　himself。
〃Poor　woman！〃　he　said；　as　a　stranger　might　have　said；　pitying　me。
〃Poor　woman！〃

My　heart　swelled　in　me　as　if　it　would　burst。　I　lifted　my　hand
from　his　bosom；　and　laid　it　on　his　shoulder　to　support　myself。

〃I　don't　ask　you　to　pity　me；　Eustace；　I　ask　you　to　do　me　justice。
You　are　not　doing　me　justice。　If　you　had　trusted　me　with　the
truth　in　the　days　when　we　first　knew　that　we　loved　each　otherif
you　had　told　me　all；　and　more　than　all　that　I　know　nowa　s　God
is　my　witness　I　would　still　have　married　you！　_Now_　do　you　doubt
that　I　believe　you　are　an　innocent　man！〃

〃I　don't　doubt　it；〃　he　said。　〃All　your　impulses　are　generous；
Valeria。　You　are　speaking　generously　and　feeling　generously。
Don't　blame　me；　my　poor　child；　if　I　look　on　further　than　you　do：
if　I　see　what　is　to　cometoo　surely　to　comein　the　cruel
future。〃

〃The　cruel　future！〃　I　repeated。　〃What　do　you　mean？〃

〃You　believe　in　my　innocence；　Valeria。　The　jury　who　tried　me
doubted　itand　have　left　that　doubt　on　record。　What　reason　have
_you_　for　believing；　in　the　face　of　the　Verdict；　that　I　am　an
innocent　man？〃

〃I　want　no　reason！　I　believe　in　spite　of　the　juryin　spite　of
the　Verdict。〃

〃Will　your　friends　agree　with　you？　When　your　uncle　and　aunt　know
what　has　happenedand　sooner　or　later　they　must　know　itwhat
will　they　say？　They　will　say；　'He　began　badly；　he　concealed　from
our　niece　that　he　had　been　wedded　to　a　first　wife；　he　married　our
niece　under　a　false　name。　He　may　say　he　is　innocent；　but　we　have
only　his　word　for　it。　When　he　was　put　on　his　Trial；　the　Verdict
was　Not　Proven。　Not　Proven　won't　do　for　us。　If　the　jury　have　done
him　an　injusticeif　he　_is_　innocentlet　him　prove　it。'　That　is
what　the　world　thinks　and　says　of　me。　That　is　what　your　friends
will　think　and　say　of　me。　The　time　is　coming；　Valeria；　when
youeven　Youwill　feel　that　your　friends　have　reason　to　appeal
to　on　their　side；　and　that　you　have　no　reason　on　yours。〃

〃That　time　will　never　come！〃　I　answered；　warmly。　〃You　wrong　me；
you　insult　me；　in　thinking　it　possible！〃

He　put　down　my　hand　from　him；　and　drew　back　a　step；　with　a　bitter
smile。

〃We　have　only　been　married　a　few　days；　Valeria。　Your　love　for　me
is　new　and　young。　Time；　which　wears　away　all　things；　will　wear
away　the　first　fervor　of　that　love。〃

〃Never！　never！〃

He　drew　back　from　me　a　little　further　still。

〃Look　at　the　world　around　you；〃　he　said。　〃The　happiest　husbands
and　wives　have　their　occasional　misunderstandings　and
disagreements；　the　brightest　married　life　has　its　passing　clouds。
When　those　days　come　for　_us；_　the　doubts　and　fears　that　you
don't　feel　now　will　find　their　way　to　you　then。　When　the　clouds
rise　in　_our_　married　lifewhen　I　say　my　first　harsh　word；　when
you　make　your　first　hasty　replythen；　in　the　solitude　of　your
own　room；　in　the　stillness　of　the　wakeful　night；　you　will　think
of　my　first　wife's　miserable　death。　You　will　remember　that　I　was
held　responsible　for　it；　and　that　my　innocence　was　never　proved。
You　will　say　to　yourself；　'Did　it　begin；　in　_her_　time；　with　a
harsh　word　from　him　and　with　a　hasty　reply　from　her？　Will　it　one
day　end　with　me　as　the　jury　half　feared　that　it　ended　with　her？'
Hideous　questions　for　a　wife　to　ask　herself！　You　will　stifle
them；　you　will　recoil　from　them；　like　a　good　woman；　with　horror。
But　when　we　meet　the　next　morning　you　will　be　on　your　guard；　and
I　shall　see　it；　and　know　in　my　heart　of　hearts　what　it　means。
Imbittered　by　that　knowledge；　my　next　harsh　word　may　be　harsher
still。　Your　next　thoughts　of　me　may　remind　you　more　vividly　and
more　boldly　that　your　husband　was　once　tried　as　a　poisoner；　and
that　the　question　of　his　first　wife's　death　was　never　properly
cleared　up。　Do　you　see　what　materials　for　a　domestic　hell　are
mingling　for　us　here？　Was　it　for　nothing　that　I　warned　you；
solemnly　warned　you；　to　draw　back；　when　I　found　you　bent　on
discovering　the　truth？　Can　I　ever　be　at　your　bedside　now；　when
you　are　ill；　and　not　remind　you；　in　the　most　innocent　things　I
do；　of　what　happened　at　that　other　bedside；　in　the　time　of　that
other　woman　whom　I　married　first？　If　I　pour　out　your　medicine；　I
commit　a　suspicious　actionthey　say　I　poisoned　_her_　in　her
medicine。　If　I　bring　you　a　cup　of　tea；　I　revive　the　remembrance
of　a　horrid　doubtthey　said　I　put　the　arsenic　in　_her_　cup　of
tea。　If　I　kiss　you　when　I　leave　the　room；　I　remind　you　that　the
prosecution　accused　me　of　kissing　_her；_　to　save　appearances　and
produce　an　effect　on　the　nurse。　Can　we　live　together　on　such
terms　as　these？　No　mortal　creatures　could　support　the　misery　of
it。　This　very　day　I　said　to　you；　'If　you　stir　a　step　further　in
this　matter；　there　is　an　end　of　your　happiness　for　the　rest　of
your　life。'　You　have　taken　that　step　and　the　end　has　come　to　your
happiness　and　to　mine。　The　blight　that　cankers　and　kills　is　on
you　and　on　me　for　the　rest　of　our　lives！〃

So　far　I　had　forced　myself　to　listen　to　him。　At　those　last　words
the　picture　of　the　future　that　he　was　placing　before　me　became
too　hideous　to　be　endured。　I　refused　to　hear　more。

〃You　are　talking　horribly；〃　I　said。　〃At　your　age　and　at　mine；
have　we　done　with　love　and　done　with　hope？　It　is　blasphemy　to
Love　and　Hope　to　say　it！〃

〃Wait　till　you　have　read　the　Trial；〃　he　answered。　〃You　mean　to
read　it；　I　suppose？〃

〃Every　word　of　it！　With　a　motive；　Eustace；　which　you　have　yet　to
know。〃

〃No　motive　of　yours；　Valeria；　no　lov