unconscious comedians-第4章

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I　belonged　to　the　police　of　Louis　XVIII。；　I'd　been　in　it　since　1793；

with　that　poor　Contenson。〃



The　four　gentlemen　looked　at　each　other　with　one　thought：　〃How　many

heads　he　must　have　brought　to　the　scaffold！〃



〃Now…a…days；　they　are　trying　to　get　on　without　us。　Folly！〃　continued

the　little　man；　who　began　to　seem　terrible。　〃Since　1830　they　want

honest　men　at　the　prefecture！　I　resigned；　and　I've　made　myself　a　small

vocation　by　arresting　for　debt。〃



〃He　is　the　right　arm　of　the　commercial　police；〃　said　Gaillard　in

Bixiou's　ear；　〃but　you　can　never　find　out　who　pays　him　most；　the

debtor　or　the　creditor。〃



〃The　more　rascally　a　business　is；　the　more　honor　it　needs。　I'm　for　him

who　pays　me　best；〃　continued　Fromenteau　addressing　Gaillard。　〃You　want

to　recover　fifty　thousand　francs　and　you　talk　farthings　to　your　means

of　action。　Give　me　five　hundred　francs　and　your　man　is　pinched　to…

night；　for　we　spotted　him　yesterday！〃



〃Five　hundred　francs　for　you　alone！〃　cried　Theodore　Gaillard。



〃Lizette　wants　a　shawl；〃　said　the　spy；　not　a　muscle　of　his　face

moving。　〃I　call　her　Lizette　because　of　Beranger。〃



〃You　have　a　Lizette；　and　you　stay　in　such　a　business！〃　cried　the

virtuous　Gazonal。



〃It　is　amusing！　People　may　cry　up　the　pleasures　of　hunting　and　fishing

as　much　as　they　like　but　to　stalk　a　man　in　Paris　is　far　better　fun。〃



〃Certainly；〃　said　Gazonal；　reflectively；　speaking　to　himself；　〃they

must　have　great　talent。〃



〃If　I　were　to　enumerate　the　qualities　which　make　a　man　remarkable　in

our　vocation；〃　said　Fromenteau；　whose　rapid　glance　had　enabled　him　to

fathom　Gazonal　completely；　〃you'd　think　I　was　talking　of　a　man　of

genius。　First；　we　must　have　the　eyes　of　a　lynx；　next；　audacity　（to

tear　into　houses　like　bombs；　accost　the　servants　as　if　we　knew　them；

and　propose　treacheryalways　agreed　to）；　next；　memory；　sagacity；

invention　（to　make　schemes；　conceived　rapidly；　never　the　samefor

spying　must　be　guided　by　the　characters　and　habits　of　the　persons

spied　upon；　it　is　a　gift　of　heaven）；　and；　finally；　agility；　vigor。　All

these　facilities　and　qualities；　monsieur；　are　depicted　on　the　door　of

the　Gymnase…Amoros　as　Virtue。　Well；　we　must　have　them　all；　under　pain

of　losing　the　salaries　given　us　by　the　State；　the　rue　de　Jerusalem；　or

the　minister　of　Commerce。〃



〃You　certainly　seem　to　me　a　remarkable　man；〃　said　Gazonal。



Fromenteau　looked　at　the　provincial　without　replying；　without

betraying　the　smallest　sign　of　feeling；　and　departed；　bowing　to　no

one；a　trait　of　real　genius。



〃Well；　cousin；　you　have　now　seen　the　police　incarnate；〃　said　Leon　to

Gazonal。



〃It　has　something　the　effect　of　a　dinner…pill；〃　said　the　worthy

provincial；　while　Gaillard　and　Bixiou　were　talking　together　in　a　low

voice。



〃I'll　give　you　an　answer　to…night　at　Carabine's；〃　said　Gaillard　aloud；

re…seating　himself　at　his　desk　without　seeing　or　bowing　to　Gazonal。



〃He　is　a　rude　fellow！〃　cried　the　Southerner　as　they　left　the　room。



〃His　paper　has　twenty…two　thousand　subscribers；〃　said　Leon　de　Lora。

〃He　is　one　of　the　five　great　powers　of　the　day；　and　he　hasn't；　in　the

morning；　the　time　to　be　polite。　Now；〃　continued　Leon；　speaking　to

Bixiou；　〃if　we　are　going　to　the　Chamber　to　help　him　with　his　lawsuit

let　us　take　the　longest　way　round。〃



〃Words　said　by　great　men　are　like　silver…gilt　spoons　with　the　gilt

washed　off；　by　dint　of　repetition　they　lose　their　brilliancy；〃　said

Bixiou。　〃Where　shall　we　go？〃



〃Here；　close　by；　to　our　hatter？〃　replied　Leon。



〃Bravo！〃　cried　Bixiou。　〃If　we　keep　on　in　this　way；　we　shall　have　an

amusing　day　of　it。〃



〃Gazonal；〃　said　Leon；　〃I　shall　make　the　man　pose　for　you；　but　mind

that　you　keep　a　serious　face；　like　the　king　on　a　five…franc　piece；　for

you　are　going　to　see　a　choice　original；　a　man　whose　importance　has

turned　his　head。　In　these　days；　my　dear　fellow；　under　our　new

political　dispensation；　every　human　being　tries　to　cover　himself　with

glory；　and　most　of　them　cover　themselves　with　ridicule；　hence　a　lot　of

living　caricatures　quite　new　to　the　world。〃



〃If　everybody　gets　glory；　who　can　be　famous？〃　said　Gazonal。



〃Fame！　none　but　fools　want　that；〃　replied　Bixiou。　〃Your　cousin　wears

the　cross；　but　I'm　the　better　dressed　of　the　two；　and　it　is　I　whom

people　are　looking　at。〃



After　this　remark；　which　may　explain　why　orators　and　other　great

statesmen　no　longer　put　the　ribbon　in　their　buttonholes　when　in　Paris；

Leon　showed　Gazonal　a　sign；　bearing；　in　golden　letters；　the

illustrious　name　of　〃Vital；　successor　to　Finot；　manufacturer　of　hats〃

（no　longer　〃hatter〃　as　formerly）；　whose　advertisements　brought　in　more

money　to　the　newspapers　than　those　of　any　half…dozen　vendors　of　pills

or　sugarplums；the　author；　moreover；　of　an　essay　on　hats。



〃My　dear　fellow；〃　said　Bixiou　to　Gazonal；　pointing　to　the　splendors　of

the　show…window；　〃Vital　has　forty　thousand　francs　a　year　from　invested

property。〃



〃And　he　stays　a　hatter！〃　cried　the　Southerner；　with　a　bound　that

almost　broke　the　arm　which　Bixiou　had　linked　in　his。



〃You　shall　see　the　man；〃　said　Leon。　〃You　need　a　hat　and　you　shall　have

one　gratis。〃



〃Is　Monsieur　Vital　absent？〃　asked　Bixiou；　seeing　no　one　behind　the

desk。



〃Monsieur　is　correcting　proof　in　his　study；〃　replied　the　head　clerk。



〃Hein！　what　style！〃　said　Leon　to　his　cousin；　then　he　added；　addressing

the　clerk：　〃Could　we　speak　to　him　without　injury　to　his　inspiration？〃



〃Let　those　gentlemen　enter；〃　said　a　voice。



It　was　a　bourgeois　voice；　the　voice　of　one　eligible　to　the　Chamber；　a

powerful　voice；　a　wealthy　voice。



Vital　deigned　to　show　himself；　dressed　entirely　in　black　cloth；　with　a

splendid　frilled　shirt　adorned　with　one　diamond。　The　three　friends

observed　a　young　and　pretty　woman　sitting　near　the　desk；　working　at

some　embroidery。



Vital　is　a　man　between　thirty　and　forty　years　of　age；　with　a　natural

joviality　now　repressed　by　ambitious　ideas。　He　is　blessed　with　that

medium　height　which　is　the　privilege　of　sound　organizations。　He　is

rather　plump；　and　takes　great　pains　with　his　person。　His　forehead　is

getting　bald；　but　he　uses　that　circumstance　to　give　himself　the　air　of

a　man　consumed　by　thought。　It　is　easy　to　see　by　the　way　his　wife　looks

at　him　and　listens　to　him　that　she　believes　in　the　genius　and　glory　of

her　husband。　Vital　loves　artists；　not　that　he　has　any　taste　for　art；

but　from　fellowship；　for　he　feels　himself　an　artist；　and　makes　this

felt　by　disclaiming　that　title　of　nobility；　and　placing　himself　with

constant　premeditation　at　so　great　a　distance　from　the　arts　that

persons　may　be　forced　to　say　to　him：　〃You　have　raised　the　construction

of　hats　to　the　height　of　a　science。〃



〃Have　you　at　last　discovered　a　hat　to　suit　me？〃　asked　Leon　de　Lora。



〃Why；　monsieur！　in　fifteen　days？〃　replied　Vital；　〃and　for　you！　Two

months　would　hardly　suffice　to　invent　a　shape　in　keeping　with　your

countenance。　See；　here　is　your　lithographic　portrait：　I　have　studied

it　most　carefully。　I　would　not　give　myself　that　trouble　for　a　prince；

but　you　are　more；　you　are　an　artist；　and　you　understand　me。〃



〃This　is　one　of　our　greatest　inventors；〃　said　Bixiou　presenting

Gazonal。　〃He　might　be　as　great　as　Jacquart　if　he　would　only　let

himself　die。　Our　friend；　a　manufacturer　of　cloth；　has　discovered　a

method　of　replacing　the　indigo　in　old　blue　coats；　and　he　wants　to　see

you　as　another　great　phenomenon；　because　he　has　heard　of　your　saying；

'The　hat　is　the　man。'　That　speech　of　yours　enraptured　him。　Ah！　Vital；

you　have　faith；　you　believe　in　something；　you　have　enthusiasm　for　your

work。〃



Vital　scarcely　listened；　he　grew　pale　with　pleasure。



〃Rise；　my　wife！　Monsieur　is　a　man　of　science。〃



Madame　Vital　rose　at　her　husband's　gesture。　Gazonal　bowed　to　her。



〃Shall　I　have　the　honor　to　cover　your　head？〃　said　Vital；　with　joyful

obsequiousness。



〃At　the　same　price　as　mine；〃　interposed　Bixiou。



〃Of　course；　of　course；　I　ask