unconscious comedians-第2章

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mighty　fancy　to　cousin　Gazonal；　and　made　him　relate　his　lawsuit　from

beginning　to　end。



〃My　lawsuit；〃　he　said　in　his　Southern　accent　and　rolling　his　r's；　〃is

a　very　simple　thing；　they　want　my　manufactory。　I've　employed　here　in

Paris　a　dolt　of　a　lawyer；　to　whom　I　give　twenty　francs　every　time　he

opens　an　eye；　and　he　is　always　asleep。　He's　a　slug；　who　drives　in　his

coach；　while　I　go　afoot　and　he　splashes　me。　I　see　now　I　ought　to　have

had　a　carriage！　On　the　other　hand；　that　Council　of　State　are　a　pack　of

do…nothings；　who　leave　their　duties　to　little　scamps　every　one　of　whom

is　bought　up　by　our　prefect。　That's　my　lawsuit！　They　want　my

manufactory！　Well；　they'll　get　it！　and　they　must　manage　the　best　they

can　with　my　workmen；　a　hundred　of　'em；　who'll　make　them　sing　another

tune　before　they've　done　with　them。〃



〃Two　years。　Ha！　that　meddling　prefect！　he　shall　pay　dear　for　this；

I'll　have　his　life　if　I　have　to　give　mine　on　the　scaffold〃



〃Which　state　councillor　presides　over　your　section？〃



〃A　former　newspaper　man；doesn't　pay　ten　sous　in　taxes；his　name　is

Massol。〃



The　two　Parisians　exchanged　glances。



〃Who　is　the　commissioner　who　is　making　the　report？〃



〃Ha！　that's　still　more　queer；　he's　Master　of　Petitions；　professor　of

something　or　other　at　the　Sorbonne；a　fellow　who　writes　things　in

reviews；　and　for　whom　I　have　the　profoundest　contempt。〃



〃Claude　Vignon；〃　said　Bixiou。



〃Yes；　that's　his　name；〃　replied　Gazonal。　〃Massol　and　Vignonthere　you

have　Social　Reason；　in　which　there's　no　reason　at　all。〃



〃There　must　be　some　way　out　of　it；〃　said　Leon　de　Lora。　〃You　see；

cousin；　all　things　are　possible　in　Paris　for　good　as　well　as　for　evil；

for　the　just　as　well　as　the　unjust。　There's　nothing　that　can't　be

done；　undone；　and　redone。〃



〃The　devil　take　me　if　I　stay　ten　days　more　in　this　hole　of　a　place；

the　dullest　in　all　France！〃



The　two　cousins　and　Bixiou　were　at　this　moment　walking　from　one　end　to

the　other　of　that　sheet　of　asphalt　on　which；　between　the　hours　of　one

and　three；　it　is　difficult　to　avoid　seeing　some　of　the　personages　in

honor　of　whom　Fame　puts　one　or　the　other　of　her　trumpets　to　her　lips。

Formerly　that　locality　was　the　Place　Royale；　next　it　was　the　Pont

Neuf；　in　these　days　this　privilege　had　been　acquired　by　the　Boulevard

des　Italiens。



〃Paris；〃　said　the　painter　to　his　cousin；　〃is　an　instrument　on　which　we

must　know　how　to　play；　if　we　stand　here　ten　minutes　I'll　give　you　your

first　lesson。　There；　look！〃　he　said；　raising　his　cane　and　pointing　to

a　couple　who　were　just　then　coming　out　from　the　Passage　de　l'Opera。



〃Goodness！　who's　that？〃　asked　Gazonal。



THAT　was　an　old　woman；　in　a　bonnet　which　had　spent　six　months　in　a

show…case；　a　very　pretentious　gown　and　a　faded　tartan　shawl；　whose

face　had　been　buried　twenty　years　of　her　life　in　a　damp　lodge；　and

whose　swollen　hand…bag　betokened　no　better　social　position　than　that

of　an　ex…portress。　With　her　was　a　slim　little　girl；　whose　eyes；

fringed　with　black　lashes；　had　lost　their　innocence　and　showed　great

weariness；　her　face；　of　a　pretty　shape；　was　fresh　and　her　hair

abundant；　her　forehead　charming　but　audacious；　her　bust　thin；in

other　words；　an　unripe　fruit。



〃That；〃　replied　Bixiou；　〃is　a　rat　tied　to　its　mother。〃



〃A　rat！what's　that？〃



〃That　particular　rat；〃　said　Leon；　with　a　friendly　nod　to　Mademoiselle

Ninette；　〃may　perhaps　win　your　suit　for　you。〃



Gazonal　bounded；　but　Bixiou　had　held　him　by　the　arm　ever　since　they

left　the　cafe；　thinking　perhaps　that　the　flush　on　his　face　was　rather

vivid。



〃That　rat；　who　is　just　leaving　a　rehearsal　at　the　Opera…house；　is

going　home　to　eat　a　miserable　dinner；　and　will　return　about　three

o'clock　to　dress；　if　she　dances　in　the　ballet　this　eveningas　she

will；　to…day　being　Monday。　This　rat　is　already　an　old　rat　for　she　is

thirteen　years　of　age。　Two　years　from　now　that　creature　may　be　worth

sixty　thousand　francs；　she　will　be　all　or　nothing；　a　great　danseuse　or

a　marcheuse；　a　celebrated　person　or　a　vulgar　courtesan。　She　has　worked

hard　since　she　was　eight　years　old。　Such　as　you　see　her；　she　is　worn

out　with　fatigue；　she　exhausted　her　body　this　morning　in　the　dancing…

class；　she　is　just　leaving　a　rehearsal　where　the　evolutions　are　as

complicated　as　a　Chinese　puzzle；　and　she'll　go　through　them　again　to…

night。　The　rat　is　one　of　the　primary　elements　of　the　Opera；　she　is　to

the　leading　danseuse　what　a　junior　clerk　is　to　a　notary。　The　rat　is

hope。〃



〃Who　produces　the　rat？〃　asked　Gazonal。



〃Porters；　paupers；　actors；　dancers；〃　replied　Bixiou。　〃Only　the　lowest

depths　of　poverty　could　force　a　child　to　subject　her　feet　and　joints

to　positive　torture；　to　keep　herself　virtuous　out　of　mere　speculation

until　she　is　eighteen　years　of　age；　and　to　live　with　some　horrible　old

crone　like　a　beautiful　plant　in　a　dressing　of　manure。　You　shall　see

now　a　procession　defiling　before　you；　one　after　the　other；　of　men　of

talent；　little　and　great；　artists　in　seed　or　flower；　who　are　raising

to　the　glory　of　France　that　every…day　monument　called　the　Opera；　an

assemblage　of　forces；　wills；　and　forms　of　genius；　nowhere　collected　as

in　Paris。



〃I　have　already　seen　the　Opera；〃　said　Gazonal；　with　a　self…sufficient

air。



〃Yes；　from　a　three…francs…sixty…sous　seat　among　the　gods；〃　replied　the

landscape　painter；　〃just　as　you　have　seen　Paris　in　the　rue　Croix…des…

Petits…Champs；　without　knowing　anything　about　it。　What　did　they　give

at　the　Opera　when　you　were　there？〃



〃Guillaume　Tell。〃



〃Well；〃　said　Leon；　〃Matilde's　grand　DUO　must　have　delighted　you。　What

do　you　suppose　that　charming　singer　did　when　she　left　the　stage？〃



〃Shewell；　what？〃



〃She　ate　two　bloody　mutton…chops　which　her　servant　had　ready　for　her。〃



〃Pooh！　nonsense！〃



〃Malibran　kept　up　on　brandybut　it　killed　her　in　the　end。　Another

thing！　You　have　seen　the　ballet；　and　you'll　now　see　it　defiling　past

you　in　its　every…day　clothes；　without　knowing　that　the　face　of　your

lawsuit　depends　on　a　pair　of　those　legs。〃



〃My　lawsuit！〃



〃See；　cousin；　here　comes　what　is　called　a　marcheuse。〃



Leon　pointed　to　one　of　those　handsome　creatures　who　at　twenty…five

years　of　age　have　lived　sixty；　and　whose　beauty　is　so　real　and　so　sure

of　being　cultivated　that　they　make　no　display　of　it。　She　was　tall；　and

walked　well；　with　the　arrogant　look　of　a　dandy；　her　toilet　was

remarkable　for　its　ruinous　simplicity。



〃That　is　Carabine；〃　said　Bixiou；　who　gave　her；　as　did　Leon；　a　slight

nod　to　which　she　responded　by　a　smile。



〃There's　another　who　may　possibly　get　your　prefect　turned　out。〃



〃A　marcheuse！but　what　is　that？〃



〃A　marcheuse　is　a　rat　of　great　beauty　whom　her　mother；　real　or

fictitious；　has　sold　as　soon　as　it　was　clear　she　would　become　neither

first；　second；　nor　third　danseuse；　but　who　prefers　the　occupation　of

coryphee　to　any　other；　for　the　main　reason　that　having　spent　her　youth

in　that　employment　she　is　unfitted　for　any　other。　She　has　been

rejected　at　the　minor　theatres　where　they　want　danseuses；　she　has　not

succeeded　in　the　three　towns　where　ballets　are　given；　she　has　not　had

the　money；　or　perhaps　the　desire　to　go　to　foreign　countriesfor

perhaps　you　don't　know　that　the　great　school　of　dancing　in　Paris

supplies　the　whole　world　with　male　and　female　dancers。　Thus　a　rat　who

becomes　a　marcheuse；that　is　to　say；　an　ordinary　figurante　in　a

ballet；must　have　some　solid　attachment　which　keeps　her　in　Paris：

either　a　rich　man　she　does　not　love　or　a　poor　man　she　loves　too　well。

The　one　you　have　just　seen　pass　will　probably　dress　and　redress　three

times　this　evening；as　a　princess；　a　peasant…girl；　a　Tyrolese；　by

which　she　will　earn　about　two　hundred　francs　a　month。〃



〃She　is　better　dressed　than　my　prefect's　wife。〃



〃If　you　should　go　to　her　house；〃　said　Bixiou；　〃you　would　find　there　a

chamber…maid；　a　cook；　and　a　man…servant。　She　occupies　a　fine　apartment

in　the　rue　Saint…Georges；　in　short；　sh