the research magnificent-µÚ30ÕÂ
°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ªÎ´ÔĶÁÍꣿ¼ÓÈëÊéÇ©ÒѱãÏ´μÌÐøÔĶÁ£¡
¡¡perhaps¡¡a¡¡Chateaubriand¡£¡¡¡¡Thatwhat¡¡was¡¡that£¿¡¡¡¡Soft¡¡and¡¡large¡¡and¡¡quite¡¡near¡¡and¡¡noiseless¡£¡¡¡¡An¡¡owl£¡¡¡The¡¡damp¡¡feeling¡¡was¡¡coming¡¡through¡¡his¡¡cloak¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡this¡¡April¡¡night¡¡air¡¡had¡¡a¡¡knife¡¡edge¡£¡¡¡¡Early¡¡ice¡¡coming¡¡down¡¡the¡¡Atlantic¡¡perhaps¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡wonderful¡¡to¡¡be¡¡here¡¡on¡¡the¡¡top¡¡of¡¡the¡¡round¡¡world¡¡and¡¡feel¡¡the¡¡icebergs¡¡away¡¡there¡£¡¡¡¡Or¡¡did¡¡this¡¡wind¡¡come¡¡from¡¡Russia£¿¡¡¡¡He¡¡wasn't¡¡quite¡¡clear¡¡just¡¡how¡¡he¡¡was¡¡oriented£»¡¡he¡¡had¡¡turned¡¡about¡¡so¡¡much¡£¡¡¡¡Which¡¡was¡¡east£¿¡¡¡¡Anyhow¡¡it¡¡was¡¡an¡¡extremely¡¡cold¡¡wind¡£¡¡What¡¡had¡¡he¡¡been¡¡thinking£¿¡¡¡¡Suppose¡¡after¡¡all¡¡that¡¡ending¡¡with¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Skelmersdale¡¡was¡¡simply¡¡a¡¡beginning¡£¡¡¡¡So¡¡far¡¡he¡¡had¡¡never¡¡looked¡¡sex¡¡in¡¡the¡¡face¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡He¡¡sat¡¡up¡¡and¡¡sneezed¡¡violently¡£¡¡It¡¡would¡¡be¡¡ridiculous¡¡to¡¡start¡¡out¡¡seeking¡¡the¡¡clue¡¡to¡¡one's¡¡life¡¡and¡¡be¡¡driven¡¡home¡¡by¡¡rheumatic¡¡fever¡£¡¡¡¡One¡¡should¡¡not¡¡therefore¡¡incur¡¡the¡¡risk¡¡of¡¡rheumatic¡¡fever¡£¡¡Something¡¡squealed¡¡in¡¡the¡¡bushes¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡impossible¡¡to¡¡collect¡¡one's¡¡thoughts¡¡in¡¡this¡¡place¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡stood¡¡up¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡night¡¡was¡¡going¡¡to¡¡be¡¡bitterly¡¡cold£»¡¡savagely£»¡¡cruelly¡¡cold¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡No¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡was¡¡no¡¡thinking¡¡to¡¡be¡¡done¡¡here£»¡¡no¡¡thinking¡¡at¡¡all¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡would¡¡go¡¡on¡¡along¡¡the¡¡track¡¡and¡¡presently¡¡he¡¡would¡¡strike¡¡a¡¡road¡¡and¡¡so¡¡come¡¡to¡¡an¡¡inn¡£¡¡¡¡One¡¡can¡¡solve¡¡no¡¡problems¡¡when¡¡one¡¡is¡¡engaged¡¡in¡¡a¡¡struggle¡¡with¡¡the¡¡elements¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡thing¡¡to¡¡do¡¡now¡¡was¡¡to¡¡find¡¡that¡¡track¡¡again¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡It¡¡took¡¡Benham¡¡two¡¡hours¡¡of¡¡stumbling¡¡and¡¡walking£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡little¡¡fence¡¡climbing¡¡and¡¡some¡¡barbed¡¡wire¡¡thrown¡¡in£»¡¡before¡¡he¡¡got¡¡down¡¡into¡¡Shere¡¡to¡¡the¡¡shelter¡¡of¡¡a¡¡friendly¡¡little¡¡inn¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡then¡¡he¡¡negotiated¡¡a¡¡satisfying¡¡meal£»¡¡with¡¡beef¡steak¡¡as¡¡its¡¡central¡¡fact£»¡¡and¡¡stipulated¡¡for¡¡a¡¡fire¡¡in¡¡his¡¡bedroom¡£¡¡The¡¡landlord¡¡was¡¡a¡¡pleasant¡faced¡¡man£»¡¡he¡¡attended¡¡to¡¡Benham¡¡himself¡¡and¡¡displayed¡¡a¡¡fine¡¡sense¡¡of¡¡comfort¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡could¡¡produce¡¡wine£»¡¡a¡¡half¡bottle¡¡of¡¡Australian¡¡hock£»¡¡Big¡¡Tree¡¡brand¡¡No¡£¡¡¡¡8£»¡¡a¡¡virile¡¡wine£»¡¡he¡¡thought¡¡of¡¡sardines¡¡to¡¡precede¡¡the¡¡meal£»¡¡he¡¡provided¡¡a¡¡substantial¡¡Welsh¡¡rarebit¡¡by¡¡way¡¡of¡¡a¡¡savoury£»¡¡he¡¡did¡¡not¡¡mind¡¡in¡¡the¡¡least¡¡that¡¡it¡¡was¡¡nearly¡¡ten¡¡o'clock¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡ended¡¡by¡¡suggesting¡¡coffee¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨And¡¡a¡¡liqueur£¿¡¨¡¡Benham¡¡had¡¡some¡¡Benedictine£¡¡¡One¡¡could¡¡not¡¡slight¡¡such¡¡sympathetic¡¡helpfulness¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡Benedictine¡¡was¡¡genuine¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡then¡¡came¡¡the¡¡coffee¡£¡¡The¡¡cup¡¡of¡¡coffee¡¡was¡¡generously¡¡conceived¡¡and¡¡honestly¡¡made¡£¡¡A¡¡night¡¡of¡¡clear¡¡melancholy¡¡ensued¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£
17
Hitherto¡¡Benham¡¡had¡¡not¡¡faced¡¡in¡¡any¡¡detail¡¡the¡¡problem¡¡of¡¡how¡¡to¡¡break¡¡with¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Skelmersdale¡£¡¡¡¡Now¡¡he¡¡faced¡¡it¡¡pessimistically¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡would£»¡¡he¡¡knew£»¡¡be¡¡difficult¡¡to¡¡break¡¡with¡£¡¡¡¡£¨He¡¡ought¡¡never¡¡to¡¡have¡¡gone¡¡there¡¡to¡¡lunch¡££©¡¡¡¡There¡¡would¡¡be¡¡something¡¡ridiculous¡¡in¡¡breaking¡¡off¡£¡¡¡¡In¡¡all¡¡sorts¡¡of¡¡ways¡¡she¡¡might¡¡resist¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡face¡¡to¡¡face¡¡with¡¡her¡¡he¡¡might¡¡find¡¡himself¡¡a¡¡man¡¡divided¡¡against¡¡himself¡£¡¡That¡¡opened¡¡preposterous¡¡possibilities¡£¡¡¡¡On¡¡the¡¡other¡¡hand¡¡it¡¡was¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡question¡¡to¡¡do¡¡the¡¡business¡¡by¡¡letter¡£¡¡¡¡A¡¡letter¡¡hits¡¡too¡¡hard£»¡¡it¡¡lies¡¡too¡¡heavy¡¡on¡¡the¡¡wound¡¡it¡¡has¡¡made¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡in¡¡money¡¡matters¡¡he¡¡could¡¡be¡¡generous¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡must¡¡be¡¡generous¡£¡¡¡¡At¡¡least¡¡financial¡¡worries¡¡need¡¡not¡¡complicate¡¡her¡¡distresses¡¡of¡¡desertion¡£¡¡But¡¡to¡¡suggest¡¡such¡¡generosities¡¡on¡¡paper£»¡¡in¡¡cold¡¡ink£»¡¡would¡¡be¡¡outrageous¡£¡¡¡¡And£»¡¡in¡¡briefhe¡¡ought¡¡not¡¡to¡¡have¡¡gone¡¡there¡¡to¡¡lunch¡£¡¡¡¡After¡¡that¡¡he¡¡began¡¡composing¡¡letters¡¡at¡¡a¡¡great¡¡rate¡£¡¡Delicateexplanatory¡£¡¡¡¡Was¡¡it¡¡on¡¡the¡¡whole¡¡best¡¡to¡¡be¡¡explanatory£¿¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡going¡¡to¡¡be¡¡a¡¡tremendous¡¡job£»¡¡this¡¡breaking¡¡with¡¡her¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡it¡¡had¡¡begun¡¡so¡¡easily¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡There¡¡was£»¡¡he¡¡remembered¡¡with¡¡amazing¡¡vividness£»¡¡a¡¡little¡¡hollow¡¡he¡¡had¡¡found¡¡under¡¡her¡¡ear£»¡¡and¡¡how¡¡when¡¡he¡¡kissed¡¡her¡¡there¡¡it¡¡always¡¡made¡¡her¡¡forget¡¡her¡¡worries¡¡and¡¡ethical¡¡problems¡¡for¡¡a¡¡time¡¡and¡¡turn¡¡to¡¡him¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡¨No£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡said¡¡grimly£»¡¡¡¨it¡¡must¡¡end£»¡¨¡¡and¡¡rolled¡¡over¡¡and¡¡stared¡¡at¡¡the¡¡black¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡Like¡¡an¡¡insidious¡¡pedlar£»¡¡that¡¡old¡¡rascal¡¡whom¡¡young¡¡literary¡¡gentlemen¡¡call¡¡the¡¡Great¡¡God¡¡Pan£»¡¡began¡¡to¡¡spread¡¡his¡¡wares¡¡in¡¡the¡¡young¡¡man's¡¡memory¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡After¡¡long¡¡and¡¡feverish¡¡wanderings¡¡of¡¡the¡¡mind£»¡¡and¡¡some¡¡talking¡¡to¡¡himself¡¡and¡¡walking¡¡about¡¡the¡¡room£»¡¡he¡¡did¡¡at¡¡last¡¡get¡¡a¡¡little¡¡away¡¡from¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Skelmersdale¡£¡¡He¡¡perceived¡¡that¡¡when¡¡he¡¡came¡¡to¡¡tell¡¡his¡¡mother¡¡about¡¡this¡¡journey¡¡around¡¡the¡¡world¡¡there¡¡would¡¡be¡¡great¡¡difficulties¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡would¡¡object¡¡very¡¡strongly£»¡¡and¡¡if¡¡that¡¡did¡¡not¡¡do¡¡then¡¡she¡¡would¡¡become¡¡extremely¡¡abusive£»¡¡compare¡¡him¡¡to¡¡his¡¡father£»¡¡cry¡¡bitterly£»¡¡and¡¡banish¡¡him¡¡suddenly¡¡and¡¡heartbrokenly¡¡from¡¡her¡¡presence¡¡for¡¡ever¡£¡¡She¡¡had¡¡done¡¡that¡¡twice¡¡alreadyonce¡¡about¡¡going¡¡to¡¡the¡¡opera¡¡instead¡¡of¡¡listening¡¡to¡¡a¡¡lecture¡¡on¡¡Indian¡¡ethnology¡¡and¡¡once¡¡about¡¡a¡¡week¡end¡¡in¡¡Kent¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡hated¡¡hurting¡¡his¡¡mother£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡was¡¡beginning¡¡to¡¡know¡¡now¡¡how¡¡easily¡¡she¡¡was¡¡hurt¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡an¡¡abominable¡¡thing¡¡to¡¡hurt¡¡one's¡¡motherwhether¡¡one¡¡has¡¡a¡¡justification¡¡or¡¡whether¡¡one¡¡hasn't¡£¡¡Recoiling¡¡from¡¡this£»¡¡he¡¡was¡¡at¡¡once¡¡resumed¡¡by¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Skelmersdale¡£¡¡Who¡¡had¡¡in¡¡fact¡¡an¡¡effect¡¡of¡¡really¡¡never¡¡having¡¡been¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡room¡£¡¡¡¡But¡¡now¡¡he¡¡became¡¡penitent¡¡about¡¡her¡£¡¡¡¡His¡¡penitence¡¡expanded¡¡until¡¡it¡¡was¡¡on¡¡a¡¡nightmare¡¡scale¡£¡¡¡¡At¡¡last¡¡it¡¡blotted¡¡out¡¡the¡¡heavens¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡felt¡¡like¡¡one¡¡of¡¡those¡¡unfortunate¡¡victims¡¡of¡¡religious¡¡mania¡¡who¡¡are¡¡convinced¡¡they¡¡have¡¡committed¡¡the¡¡Sin¡¡against¡¡the¡¡Holy¡¡Ghost¡£¡¡¡¡£¨Why¡¡had¡¡he¡¡gone¡¡there¡¡to¡¡lunch£¿¡¡¡¡That¡¡was¡¡the¡¡key¡¡to¡¡it¡£¡¡WHY¡¡had¡¡he¡¡gone¡¡there¡¡to¡¡lunch£¿£©¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡began¡¡to¡¡have¡¡remorse¡¡for¡¡everything£»¡¡for¡¡everything¡¡he¡¡had¡¡ever¡¡done£»¡¡for¡¡everything¡¡he¡¡he¡¡give¡¡in¡¡to¡¡sex¡£¡¡It's¡¡the¡¡same¡¡thing¡¡really¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡misleading¡¡of¡¡instinct¡£¡¨¡¡This¡¡set¡¡the¡¡key¡¡of¡¡his¡¡thought¡¡throughout¡¡the¡¡afternoonuntil¡¡Amanda¡¡happened¡¡to¡¡him¡£
CHAPTER¡¡THE¡¡THIRD¡¡AMANDA
1
Amanda¡¡happened¡¡to¡¡Benham¡¡very¡¡suddenly¡£¡¡From¡¡Haslemere¡¡he¡¡had¡¡gone¡¡on¡¡to¡¡further¡¡heaths¡¡and¡¡gorse¡¡beyond¡¡Liphook£»¡¡and¡¡thence¡¡he¡¡had¡¡wandered¡¡into¡¡a¡¡pretty¡¡district¡¡beset¡¡with¡¡Hartings¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡had¡¡foh¡¡socialistic¡¡art¡¡as¡¡bookbinding¡£¡¡¡¡They¡¡were¡¡clearly¡¡¡®advanced'¡¡people¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡Amanda¡¡was¡¡tremendously¡¡important¡¡to¡¡them£»¡¡she¡¡was¡¡their¡¡light£»¡¡their¡¡pride£»¡¡their¡¡most¡¡living¡¡thing¡£¡¡¡¡They¡¡focussed¡¡on¡¡her¡£¡¡¡¡When¡¡he¡¡talked¡¡to¡¡them¡¡all¡¡in¡¡general¡¡he¡¡talked¡¡to¡¡her¡¡in¡¡particular¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡felt¡¡that¡¡some¡¡introduction¡¡of¡¡himself¡¡was¡¡due¡¡to¡¡these¡¡welcoming¡¡people¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡tried¡¡to¡¡give¡¡it¡¡mixed¡¡with¡¡an¡¡itinerary¡¡and¡¡a¡¡sketch¡¡of¡¡his¡¡experiences¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡praised¡¡the¡¡heather¡¡country¡¡and¡¡Harting¡¡Coombe¡¡and¡¡the¡¡Hartings¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡told¡¡them¡¡that¡¡London¡¡had¡¡suddenly¡¡become¡¡intolerable¡¨In¡¡the¡¡spring¡¡sunshine¡£¡¨¡¡¡¨You¡¡live¡¡in¡¡London£¿¡¨¡¡said¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Wilder¡£¡¡Yes¡£¡¡ad¡¡ever¡¡not¡¡done£»¡¡for¡¡everything¡¡in¡¡the¡¡world¡£¡¡¡¡In¡¡a¡¡moment¡¡of¡¡lucidity¡¡he¡¡even¡¡had¡¡remorse¡¡for¡¡drinking¡¡that¡¡stout¡¡honest¡¡cup¡¡of¡¡black¡¡coffee¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡And¡¡so¡¡on¡¡and¡¡so¡¡on¡¡and¡¡so¡¡on¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡When¡¡daylight¡¡came¡¡it¡¡found¡¡Benham¡¡still¡¡wide¡¡awake¡£¡¡¡¡Things¡¡crept¡¡mournfully¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡darkness¡¡into¡¡a¡¡reproachful¡¡clearness¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡sound¡¡of¡¡birds¡¡that¡¡had¡¡been¡¡so¡¡delightful¡¡on¡¡the¡¡yesterday¡¡was¡¡now¡¡no¡¡longer¡¡agreeable¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡thrushes£»¡¡he¡¡thought£»¡¡repeated¡¡themselves¡¡a¡¡great¡¡deal¡£¡¡He¡¡fell¡¡asleep¡¡as¡¡it¡¡seemed¡¡only¡¡a¡¡few¡¡minutes¡¡before¡¡the¡¡landlord£»¡¡accompanied¡¡by¡¡a¡¡great¡¡smell¡¡of¡¡frying¡¡bacon£»¡¡came¡¡to¡¡call¡¡him¡£
18
The¡¡second¡¡day¡¡opened¡¡rather¡¡dully¡¡for¡¡Benham¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡was¡¡not¡¡an¡¡idea¡¡left¡¡in¡¡his¡¡head¡¡about¡¡anything¡¡in¡¡the¡¡world¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡wasSOLID¡£¡¡He¡¡walked¡¡through¡¡Bramley¡¡and¡¡Godalming¡¡and¡¡Witley¡¡and¡¡so¡¡came¡¡out¡¡upon¡¡the¡¡purple¡¡waste¡¡of¡¡Hindhead¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡strayed¡¡away¡¡from¡¡the¡¡road¡¡and¡¡found¡¡a¡¡sunny¡¡place¡¡of¡¡turf¡¡amidst¡¡the¡¡heather¡¡and¡¡lay¡¡down¡¡and¡¡slept¡¡for¡¡an¡¡hour¡¡or¡¡so¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡arose¡¡refreshed¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡got¡¡some¡¡food¡¡at¡¡the¡¡Huts¡¡Inn¡¡on¡¡the¡¡Hindhead¡¡crest¡¡and¡¡went¡¡on¡¡across¡¡sunlit¡¡heathery¡¡wildernesses¡¡variegated¡¡by¡¡patches¡¡of¡¡spruce¡¡and¡¡fir¡¡and¡¡silver¡¡birch¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡then¡¡suddenly¡¡his¡¡mental¡¡inanition¡¡was¡¡at¡¡an¡¡end¡¡and¡¡his¡¡thoughts¡¡were¡¡wide¡¡and¡¡brave¡¡again¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡was¡¡astonished¡¡that¡¡for¡¡a¡¡moment¡¡he¡¡could¡¡have¡¡forgotten¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡vowed¡¡to¡¡the¡¡splendid¡¡life¡£¡¡¡¨Continence¡¡by¡¡preoccupation£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡tried¡¡the¡¡phrase¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡¨A¡¡man¡¡must¡¡not¡¡give¡¡in¡¡to¡¡fear£»¡¡neither¡¡must¡¡hund¡¡himself¡¡upon¡¡a¡¡sandy¡¡ridge¡¡looking¡¡very¡¡beautifully¡¡into¡¡a¡¡sudden¡¡steep¡¡valley¡¡that¡¡he¡¡learnt¡¡was¡¡Harting¡¡Coombe£»¡¡he¡¡had¡¡been¡¡through¡¡a¡¡West¡¡Harting¡¡and¡¡a¡¡South¡¡Harting¡¡and¡¡read¡¡finger¡posts¡¡pointing¡¡to¡¡others¡¡of¡¡the¡¡clan£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡the¡¡evening£»¡¡at¡¡the¡¡foot¡¡of¡¡a¡¡steep¡¡hill¡¡where¡¡two¡¡roads¡¡met£»¡¡he¡¡sat¡¡down¡¡to¡¡consider¡¡whether¡¡he¡¡should¡¡go¡¡back¡¡and¡¡spend¡¡the¡¡night¡¡in¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡two¡¡kindly¡looking¡¡inns¡¡of¡¡the¡¡latter¡¡place¡¡or¡¡push¡¡on¡¡over¡¡the¡¡South¡¡Downs¡¡towards¡¡the¡¡unknown¡¡luck¡¡of¡¡Singleton¡¡or¡¡Chichester¡£¡¡¡¡As¡¡he¡¡sat¡¡down¡¡two¡¡big¡¡ret