the secret places of the heart-第31章

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ated　the　persuasion　he　had　already　confessed　to　Dr。　Martineau　that　there　was　not　a　single　member　of　the　Fuel　Commission　but　had　a　considerable　drive　towards　doing　the　right　thing　about　fuel；　and　not　one　who　had　a　single…minded；　unencumbered　drive　towards　the　right　thing。　〃That；〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　〃is　what　makes　life　so　interesting　and；　in　spite　of　a　thousand　tragic　disappointments；　so　hopeful。　Every　man　is　a　bad　man；　every　man　is　a　feeble　man　and　every　man　is　a　good　man。　My　motives　come　and　go。　Yours　do　the　same。　We　vary　in　response　to　the　circumstances　about　us。　Given　a　proper　atmosphere；　most　men　will　be　public…spirited；　right…living；　generous。　Given　perplexities　and　darkness；　most　of　us　can　be　cowardly　and　vile。　People　say　you　cannot　change　human　nature　and　perhaps　that　is　true；　but　you　can　change　its　responses　endlessly。　The　other　day　I　was　in　Bohemia；　discussing　Silesian　coal　with　Benes；　and　I　went　to　see　the　Festival　of　the　Bohemian　Sokols。　Opposite　to　where　I　sat；　far　away　across　the　arena；　was　a　great　bank　of　men　of　the　Sokol　organizations；　an　unbroken　brown　mass　wrapped　in　their　brown　uniform　cloaks。　Suddenly　the　sun　came　out　and　at　a　word　the　whole　body　flung　back　their　cloaks；　showed　their　Garibaldi　shirts　and　became　one　solid　blaze　of　red。　It　was　an　amazing　transformation　until　one　understood　what　had　happened。　Yet　nothing　material　had　changed　but　the　sunshine。　And　given　a　change　in　laws　and　prevailing　ideas；　and　the　very　same　people　who　are　greedy　traders；　grasping　owners　and　revolting　workers　to…day　will　all　throw　their　cloaks　aside　and　you　will　find　them　working　together　cheerfully；　even　generously；　for　a　common　end。　They　aren't　traders　and　owners　and　workers　and　so　forth　by　any　inner　necessity。　Those　are　just　the　ugly　parts　they　play　in　the　present　drama。　Which　is　nearly　at　the　end　of　its　run。〃　〃That's　a　hopeful　view；〃　said　Miss　Grammont。　〃I　don't　see　the　flaw　in　itif　there　is　a　flaw。〃　〃There　isn't　one；　〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃It　is　my　chief　discovery　about　life。　I　began　with　the　question　of　fuel　and　the　energy　it　affords　mankind；　and　I　have　found　that　my　generalization　applies　to　all　human　affairs。　Human　beings　are　fools；　weaklings；　cowards；　passionate　idiots；I　grant　you。　That　is　the　brown　cloak　side　of　them；　so　to　speak。　But　they　are　not　such　fools　and　so　forth　that　they　can't　do　pretty　well　materially　if　once　we　hammer　out　a　sane　collective　method　of　getting　and　using　fuel。　Which　people　generally　will　understandin　the　place　of　our　present　methods　of　snatch　and　wrangle。　Of　that　I　am　absolutely　convinced。　Some　work；　some　help；　some　willingness　you　can　get　out　of　everybody。　That's　the　red。　And　the　same　principle　applies　to　most　labour　and　property　problems；　to　health；　to　education；　to　population；　social　relationships　and　war　and　peace。　We　haven't　got　the　right　system；　we　have　inefficient　half…baked　systems；　or　no　system　at　all；　and　a　wild　confusion　and　war　of　ideas　in　all　these　respects。　But　there　is　a　right　system　possible　none　the　less。　Let　us　only　hammer　our　way　through　to　the　sane　and　reasonable　organization　in　this　and　that　and　the　other　human　affairs；　and　once　we　have　got　it；　we　shall　have　got　it　for　good。　We　may　not　live　to　see　even　the　beginnings　of　success；　but　the　spirit　of　order；　the　spirit　that　has　already　produced　organized　science；　if　only　there　are　a　few　faithful；　persistent　people　to　stick　to　the　job；　will　in　the　long　run　certainly　save　mankind　and　make　human　life　clean　and　splendid；　happy　work　in　a　clear　mind。　If　I　could　live　to　see　it！〃　〃And　as　for　usin　our　time？〃　〃Measured　by　the　end　we　serve；　we　don't　matter。　You　know　we　don't　matter。〃　〃We　have　to　find　our　fun　in　the　building　and　in　our　confidence　that　we　do　really　build。〃　〃So　long　as　our　confidence　lasts　there　is　no　great　hardship；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃So　long　as　our　confidence　lasts；〃　she　repeated　after　him。　〃Ah！〃　cried　Sir　Richmond。　〃There　it　is！　So　long　as　our　confidence　lasts！　So　long　as　one　keeps　one's　mind　steady。　That　is　what　I　came　away　with　Dr。　Martineau　to　discuss。　I　went　to　him　for　advice。　I　haven't　known　him　for　more　than　a　month。　It's　amusing　to　find　myself　preaching　forth　to　you。　It　was　just　faith　I　had　lost。　Suddenly　I　had　lost　my　power　of　work。　My　confidence　in　the　rightness　of　what　I　was　doing　evaporated。　My　will　failed　me。　I　don't　know　if　you　will　understand　what　that　means。　It　wasn't　that　my　reason　didn't　assure　me　just　as　certainly　as　ever　that　what　I　was　trying　to　do　was　the　right　thing　to　try　to　do。　But　somehow　that　seemed　a　cold　and　personally　unimportant　proposition。　The　life　had　gone　out　of　it。　。　。　。　〃　He　paused　as　if　arrested　by　a　momentary　doubt。　〃I　don't　know　why　I　tell　you　these　things；〃　he　said。　〃You　tell　them　me；〃　she　said。　〃It's　a　little　like　a　patient　in　a　hydropath　retailing　his　ailments。〃　〃No。　No。　Go　on。〃　〃I　began　to　think　now　that　what　took　the　go　out　of　me　as　my　work　went　on　was　the　lack　of　any　real　fellowship　in　what　I　was　doing。　It　was　the　pressure　of　the　opposition　in　the　Committee；　day　afterday。　It　was　being　up　against　men　who　didn't　reason　against　me　but　who　just　showed　by　everything　they　did　that　the　things　I　wanted　to　achieve　didn't　matter　to　them　one　rap。　It　was　going　back　to　a　home；　lunching　in　clubs；　reading　papers；　going　about　a　world　in　which　all　the　organization；　all　the　possibility　of　the　organization　I　dream　of　is　tacitly　denied。　I　don't　know　if　it　seems　an　extraordinary　confession　of　weakness　to　you；　but　that　steady　refusal　of　the　majority　of　my　Committee　to　come　into　co…　operation　with　me　has　beaten　meor　at　any　rate　has　come　very　near　to　beating　me。　Most　of　them　you　know　are　such　able　men。　You　can　FEEL　their　knowledge　and　commonsense。　They；　and　everybody　about　me；　seemed　busy　and　intent　upon　more　immediate　things；　that　seemed　more　real　to　them　than　this　remote；　theoretical；　PRIGGISH　end　I　have　set　for　myself。　。　。　。〃　He　paused。　〃Go　on；〃　said　Miss　Grammont。　〃I　think　I　understand　this。　〃　〃And　yet　I　know　I　am　right。〃　〃I　know　you　are　right。　I'm　certain。　Go　on。　〃If　one　of　those　ten　thousand　members　of　the　Sokol　Society　had　thrown　back　his　brown　cloak　and　shown　red　when　all　the　others　still　kept　them　selves　cloakedif　he　was　a　normal　sensitive　manhe　might　have　felt　something　of　a　fool。　He　might　have　felt　premature　and　presumptuous。　Red　he　was　and　the　others　he　knew　were　red　also；　but　why　show　it？　That　is　the　peculiar　distress　of　people　like　ourselves；　who　have　some　sense　of　history　and　some　sense　of　a　larger　life　within　us　than　our　merely　personal　life。　We　don't　want　to　go　on　with　the　old　story　merely。　We　want　to　live　somehow　in　that　larger　life　and　to　live　for　its　greater　ends　and　lose　something　unbearable　of　ourselves；　and　in　wanting　to　do　that　we　are　only　wanting　to　do　what　nearly　everybody　perhaps　is　ripe　to　do　and　will　presently　want　to　do。　When　the　New　Age　Martineau　talks　about　begins　to　come　it　may　come　very　quicklyas　the　red　came　at　Prague。　But　for　the　present　everyone　hesitates　about　throwing　back　the　cloak。〃　〃Until　the　cloak　becomes　unbearable；〃　she　said；　repeating　his　word。　〃I　came　upon　this　holiday　in　the　queerest　state。　I　thought　I　was　ill。　I　thought　I　was　overworked。　But　the　real　trouble　was　a　loneliness　that　robbed　me　of　all　driving　force。　Nobody　seemed　thinking　and　feeling　with　me。　。　。　。　I　have　never　realized　until　now　what　a　gregarious　beast　man　is。　It　needed　only　a　day　or　so　with　Martineau；　in　the　atmosphere　of　ideas　and　beliefs　like　my　own；　to　begin　my　restoration。　Now　as　I　talk　to　youThat　is　why　I　have　clutched　at　your　company。　Because　here　you　are；　coming　from　thousands　of　miles　away；　and　you　talk　my　ideas；　you　fall　into　my　ways　of　thought　as　though　we　had　gone　to　the　same　school。〃　〃Perhaps　we　HAVE　gone　to　the　same　school；〃　she　said。　〃You　mean？〃　〃Disappointment。　Disillusionment。　Having　to　find　something　better　in　life　than　the　first　things　it　promised　us。〃　〃But　you？　Disappointed？　I　thought　that　in　America　people　might　be　educating　already　on　different　lines〃　〃Even　in　America；〃　Miss　Grammont　said；　〃crops　only　grow　on　the　ploughed　land。〃　Section　8　Glastonbury　in　the　afternoon　was　wonderful；　they　talked　of　Avalon　and　of　that　vanished　legendary　world　of　King　Arthur　and　his　knights；　and　in　the　early　evening　they　came　to　Wells　and　a　pleasant　inn；　with　a　quaint　little　garden　before　its　fron