eben holden-第53章
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'Good old Uncle Eb!'I said。 'Let's go and tell him。
He was sound asleep when we entered his room but woke as I lit the gas。
'What's the matter?'he whispered; lifting his head。
'Congratulate us;'I said。 'We re engaged。
'Hey ye conquered her?'he enquired smiling。
'Love has conquered us both;'I said。
'Wall; I swan! is thet so?'he answered。 'Guess I won't fool away any more time here n bed。 If you childem ll go in t'other room I ll slip into my trousers an'then ye ll hear me talk some conversation。
'Beats the world!'he continued; coming in presently; buttoning his suspenders。 'I thought mos'likely ye d hitch up t gether sometime。 'Tain't often ye can find a pair s'well matched。 The same style an gaited jest about alike。 When ye goin't'git married?
'She hasn t named the day;'I said。
'Sooner the better;'said JJncle Eb as he drew on his coat and sat down。 'Used if be so t'when a young couple hed set up n held each other's han's a few nights they was ready fer the minister。 Wish t ye could lix it fer 'bout Crissmus time; by jingo! They's other things goin'if happen then。's pose yer s'happy now ye can stan'a little bad news。 I've got if tell ye … David's been losin'money。 Hain t never wrote ye 'bout it … not a word … 'cause I didn t know how 'twas comin'out。
'How did he lose it?'I enquired。
'Wall ye know that Ow Barker … runs a hardware store in Migleyville … he sold him a patent right。 Figgered an'argued night an'day fer more n three weeks。 It was a new fangled wash biler。 David he thought he see a chance if put out agents an'make a great deal o'money。 It did look jest as easy as slidin'downhill but when we come slide … wall; we found out we was at the bottom o the hill 'stid o'the top an'it wan t reel good slidin 。 He paid five thousan'dollars fer the right o'ten counties。 Then bym bye Barker he wanted him t'go security fer fifteen hunderd bilers thet he was hevin'made。 I to!'David he hedn t better go in no deeper but Barker; he promised big things an'seemed if be sech a nice man 'at fln ly David he up 'n done it。 Wall he's hed 'em t'pay fer an'the fact is it costs s'much if sell 'em it eats up all the profits。
'Looks like a swindle;'I said indignantly。
'No;'said Uncle El; 〃tain't no swindle。 Barker thought he hed a gran'good thing。 He got fooled an'the fool complaint is very ketchin 。 Got it myself years ago an'I've been doctorin'fer it ever sence。
The story of David's undoing hurt us sorely。 He had gone the way of most men who left the farm late in life with unsatisfied ambition。
'They shall never want for anything; so long as I have my health;'I said。
'I have four hundred dollars in the bank;'said Hope; 'and shall give them every cent of it。
'Tam'nuthin'if worry over;'said Uncle Eb。 'If I don'never lose more n a little money I shan t feel terrible bad。 We re all young yit。 Got more n a million dollars wuth o'good health right here 'n this room。 So well; I m 'shamed uv it! Man's more decent if he's a leetle bit sickly。 An'thet there girl Bill's agreed t'marry ye! Why! 'Druther hey her 'n this hull cityo'New York。
'So had I;'was my answer。
'Wall; you am'no luckier 'n she is … not a bit;'he added。 'A good man's better 'n a gol'mine ev ry time。
'Who knows;'said Hope。 'He may be president someday。
'Ther's one thing I hate;'Uncle El continued。 'That's the idee o hevin'the woodshed an'barn an'garret full o'them infernal wash bilers。 Ye can't take no decent care uv a hoss there 'n the stable' they re so piled up。 One uv 'em tumbled down top o'me t other day。 'Druther 'twould a been a panther。 Made me s'mad I took a club an'knocked that biler into a cocked hat。 'Tain't right! I m sick o'the sight uv 'em。
'They ll make a good bonfire someday;'said Hope。
'Don't believe they d burn;'he answered sorrowfully; 'they re tin。
'Couldn't we bury 'em?'I suggested。
'Be a purty costly funeral;'he answered thoughtfully。 'Ye d hey if dig a hole deeper n Tupper's dingle。
'Couldn't you give them away?'I enquired。
'Wall;'said he; helping himself to a chew of tobacco; 'we ve tried thet。 Gin 'em t'everybody we know but there ain't folks enough' there's such a slew o'them bilers。 We could give one if ev ry man; woman an'child in Faraway an'hex enough left t'fill an acre lot。 Dan Perry druv in t other day with a double buggy。 We gin him one fer his own fam ly。 It was heavy t'carry an'he didn t seem t like the looks uv it someway。 Then I asked him if he wouldn t like one fer his girl。 〃She ain't married;〃 says he。 〃She will be some time;〃 says I; 〃take it along;〃 so he put in another。 〃You ve got a sister over on the turnpike hain't ye?〃 says I。 〃Yes;〃 says he。 〃Wall;〃 I says; 〃don'want a hex her feel slighted。〃 〃She won't know 'bout my hevin''em;〃 says he; lookin''s if he d hed enough。 〃Yis she will;〃 I says; 'she ll hear uv it an'mebbe make a fuss。〃 Then we piled in another。 〃Look here;〃 I says after that; 〃there s yer brother Bill up there 'bove you。 Take one along fer him。〃 〃No;〃 says he; 〃I don'tell ev ry body; but Bill an'I ain't on good terms。 We ain't spoke fer more n a year。〃
'Knew he was lyin ;'Uncle Eb added with a laugh; 'I d seen him talkin'with Bill a day er two before。
'Whew!'he whistled as he looked at his big silver watch。 'I declare it's mos'one o clock They's jes'one other piece o'business if come before this meetin 。 Double or single; want ye if both promise me t'be。 hum Crissmus。
We promised。
'Now childern;'said he。''S time if go if bed。 B lieve ye d stan there swappin'kisses 'till ye was knee sprung if I didn t tell yet quit。
Hope came and put her arms about his neck; fondly; and kissed him good…night。
'Did Bill prance right up like a man?'he asked; his hand upon her shoulder。
'Did very well;'said she; smiling; 'for a man with a wooden leg。
Unde Eb sank into a chair; laughing heartily; and pounding his knee。 It seemed he had told her that I was coming home with a wooden leg! 'That is the reason I held your arm;'she said。 'I was expecting to hear it squeak every moment as we left the depot。 But when I saw that you walked so naturally I knew Uncle Eb had been trying to fool me。
'Purty good sort uv a lover; ain't he?'said he after we were done laughing。
'He wouldn t take no for an answer;'she answered。
'He was aiwuss a gritty cuss;'said Uncle Eb; wiping his eyes with a big red handkerchief as he rose to go。 'Ye d oughter be mighty happy an'ye will; too … their am'no doubt uv it … not a bit。 Trouble with most young folks is they wan'if fly tew high; these days。 If they d only fly clus enough t'the ground so the could aiwuss touch one foot; they d be all right。 Glad ye ain't thet kind。
We were off early on the boat … as fine a summer morning as ever dawned。 What with the grandeur of the scenery and the sublimity of our happiness it was a delightful journey we had that day。 I felt the peace and beauty of the fields; the majesty of the mirrored cliffs and mountains; but the fair face of her I loved was enough for me。 Most of the day Uncle Eb sat near us and I remember a woman evangelist came and took a seat beside him; awhile; talking volubly of the scene。
'My friend;'said she presently; 'are you a Christian?
''Fore I answer I ll hex if tell ye a story;'said Uncle Eb。 'I recollec a man by the name o'Ranney over n Vermont … he was a pious man。 Got into an argyment an'a feller slapped him in the face。 Ranney turned t other side an'then t other an'the feller kep'a slappin'hot 'n heavy。 It was jes'like strappin'a razor fer haifa minnit。 Then Ranney sailed in … gin him the wust lickin'he ever hed。
'〃I declare;〃 says another man; after 'twas all over; 〃I thought you was a Christian。〃
〃Am up to a cert in p int;〃 says he。 〃Can't go tew fur not 'n these parts … men are tew powerful。 'Twon't do 'less ye wan'if die sudden。 When he begun poundin'uv me I see I wan t eggzac ly prepared。〃
''Fraid 's a good deal thet way with most uv us。 We re Christians up to a cert in p int。 Fer one thing; I think if a rnan ll stan'still an'see himself knocked into the nex'world he's a leetle tew good fer this。
The good lady began to preach and argue。 For an hour Uncle Eb sat listening unable to get in a word。 When; at las