eben holden-第53章

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'Good　old　Uncle　Eb！'I　said。　'Let's　go　and　tell　him。　

He　was　sound　asleep　when　we　entered　his　room　but　woke　as　I　lit　the　gas。

'What's　the　matter？'he　whispered；　lifting　his　head。

'Congratulate　us；'I　said。　'We　re　engaged。　

'Hey　ye　conquered　her？'he　enquired　smiling。

'Love　has　conquered　us　both；'I　said。

'Wall；　I　swan！　is　thet　so？'he　answered。　'Guess　I　won't　fool　away　any　more　time　here　n　bed。　If　you　childem　ll　go　in　t'other　room　I　ll　slip　into　my　trousers　an'then　ye　ll　hear　me　talk　some　conversation。　

'Beats　the　world！'he　continued；　coming　in　presently；　buttoning　his　suspenders。　'I　thought　mos'likely　ye　d　hitch　up　t　gether　sometime。　'Tain't　often　ye　can　find　a　pair　s'well　matched。　The　same　style　an　　gaited　jest　about　alike。　When　ye　goin't'git　married？　

'She　hasn　t　named　the　day；'I　said。

'Sooner　the　better；'said　JJncle　Eb　as　he　drew　on　his　coat　and　sat　down。　'Used　if　be　so　t'when　a　young　couple　hed　set　up　n　held　each　other's　han's　a　few　nights　they　was　ready　fer　the　minister。　Wish　t　ye　could　lix　it　fer　'bout　Crissmus　time；　by　jingo！　They's　other　things　goin'if　happen　then。's　pose　yer　s'happy　now　ye　can　stan'a　little　bad　news。　I've　got　if　tell　ye　…　David's　been　losin'money。　Hain　t　never　wrote　ye　'bout　it　…　not　a　word　…　'cause　I　didn　t　know　how　'twas　comin'out。　

'How　did　he　lose　it？'I　enquired。

'Wall　ye　know　that　Ow　Barker　…　runs　a　hardware　store　in　Migleyville　…　he　sold　him　a　patent　right。　Figgered　an'argued　night　an'day　fer　more　n　three　weeks。　It　was　a　new　fangled　wash　biler。　David　he　thought　he　see　a　chance　if　put　out　agents　an'make　a　great　deal　o'money。　It　did　look　jest　as　easy　as　slidin'downhill　but　when　we　come　slide　…　wall；　we　found　out　we　was　at　the　bottom　o　　the　hill　'stid　o'the　top　an'it　wan　t　reel　good　slidin　。　He　paid　five　thousan'dollars　fer　the　right　o'ten　counties。　Then　bym　bye　Barker　he　wanted　him　t'go　security　fer　fifteen　hunderd　bilers　thet　he　was　hevin'made。　I　to！'David　he　hedn　t　better　go　in　no　deeper　but　Barker；　he　promised　big　things　an'seemed　if　be　sech　a　nice　man　'at　fln　ly　David　he　up　'n　done　it。　Wall　he's　hed　'em　t'pay　fer　an'the　fact　is　it　costs　s'much　if　sell　'em　it　eats　up　all　the　profits。　

'Looks　like　a　swindle；'I　said　indignantly。

'No；'said　Uncle　El；　〃tain't　no　swindle。　Barker　thought　he　hed　a　gran'good　thing。　He　got　fooled　an'the　fool　complaint　is　very　ketchin　。　Got　it　myself　years　ago　an'I've　been　doctorin'fer　it　ever　sence。　

The　story　of　David's　undoing　hurt　us　sorely。　He　had　gone　the　way　of　most　men　who　left　the　farm　late　in　life　with　unsatisfied　ambition。

'They　shall　never　want　for　anything；　so　long　as　I　have　my　health；'I　said。

'I　have　four　hundred　dollars　in　the　bank；'said　Hope；　'and　shall　give　them　every　cent　of　it。　

'Tam'nuthin'if　worry　over；'said　Uncle　Eb。　'If　I　don'never　lose　more　n　a　little　money　I　shan　t　feel　terrible　bad。　We　re　all　young　yit。　Got　more　n　a　million　dollars　wuth　o'good　health　right　here　'n　this　room。　So　well；　I　m　'shamed　uv　it！　Man's　more　decent　if　he's　a　leetle　bit　sickly。　An'thet　there　girl　Bill's　agreed　t'marry　ye！　Why！　'Druther　hey　her　'n　this　hull　cityo'New　York。　

'So　had　I；'was　my　answer。

'Wall；　you　am'no　luckier　'n　she　is　…　not　a　bit；'he　added。　'A　good　man's　better　'n　a　gol'mine　ev　ry　time。　

'Who　knows；'said　Hope。　'He　may　be　president　someday。　

'Ther's　one　thing　I　hate；'Uncle　El　continued。　'That's　the　idee　o　　hevin'the　woodshed　an'barn　an'garret　full　o'them　infernal　wash　bilers。　Ye　can't　take　no　decent　care　uv　a　hoss　there　'n　the　stable'　they　re　so　piled　up。　One　uv　'em　tumbled　down　top　o'me　t　other　day。　'Druther　'twould　a　been　a　panther。　Made　me　s'mad　I　took　a　club　an'knocked　that　biler　into　a　cocked　hat。　'Tain't　right！　I　m　sick　o'the　sight　uv　'em。　

'They　ll　make　a　good　bonfire　someday；'said　Hope。

'Don't　believe　they　d　burn；'he　answered　sorrowfully；　'they　re　tin。　

'Couldn't　we　bury　'em？'I　suggested。

'Be　a　purty　costly　funeral；'he　answered　thoughtfully。　'Ye　d　hey　if　dig　a　hole　deeper　n　Tupper's　dingle。　

'Couldn't　you　give　them　away？'I　enquired。

'Wall；'said　he；　helping　himself　to　a　chew　of　tobacco；　'we　ve　tried　thet。　Gin　'em　t'everybody　we　know　but　there　ain't　folks　enough'　there's　such　a　slew　o'them　bilers。　We　could　give　one　if　ev　ry　man；　woman　an'child　in　Faraway　an'hex　enough　left　t'fill　an　acre　lot。　Dan　Perry　druv　in　t　other　day　with　a　double　buggy。　We　gin　him　one　fer　his　own　fam　ly。　It　was　heavy　t'carry　an'he　didn　t　seem　t　　like　the　looks　uv　it　someway。　Then　I　asked　him　if　he　wouldn　t　like　one　fer　his　girl。　〃She　ain't　married；〃　says　he。　〃She　will　be　some　time；〃　says　I；　〃take　it　along；〃　so　he　put　in　another。　〃You　ve　got　a　sister　over　on　the　turnpike　hain't　ye？〃　says　I。　〃Yes；〃　says　he。　〃Wall；〃　I　says；　〃don'want　a　hex　her　feel　slighted。〃　〃She　won't　know　'bout　my　hevin''em；〃　says　he；　lookin''s　if　he　d　hed　enough。　〃Yis　she　will；〃　I　says；　'she　ll　hear　uv　it　an'mebbe　make　a　fuss。〃　Then　we　piled　in　another。　〃Look　here；〃　I　says　after　that；　〃there　s　yer　brother　Bill　up　there　'bove　you。　Take　one　along　fer　him。〃　〃No；〃　says　he；　〃I　don'tell　ev　ry　body；　but　Bill　an'I　ain't　on　good　terms。　We　ain't　spoke　fer　more　n　a　year。〃

'Knew　he　was　lyin　；'Uncle　Eb　added　with　a　laugh；　'I　d　seen　him　talkin'with　Bill　a　day　er　two　before。　

'Whew！'he　whistled　as　he　looked　at　his　big　silver　watch。　'I　declare　it's　mos'one　o　clock　They's　jes'one　other　piece　o'business　if　come　before　this　meetin　。　Double　or　single；　want　ye　if　both　promise　me　t'be。　hum　Crissmus。　

We　promised。

'Now　childern；'said　he。''S　time　if　go　if　bed。　B　lieve　ye　d　stan　　there　swappin'kisses　'till　ye　was　knee　sprung　if　I　didn　t　tell　yet　　quit。　

Hope　came　and　put　her　arms　about　his　neck；　fondly；　and　kissed　him　good…night。

'Did　Bill　prance　right　up　like　a　man？'he　asked；　his　hand　upon　her　shoulder。

'Did　very　well；'said　she；　smiling；　'for　a　man　with　a　wooden　leg。　

Unde　Eb　sank　into　a　chair；　laughing　heartily；　and　pounding　his　knee。　It　seemed　he　had　told　her　that　I　was　coming　home　with　a　wooden　leg！　'That　is　the　reason　I　held　your　arm；'she　said。　'I　was　expecting　to　hear　it　squeak　every　moment　as　we　left　the　depot。　But　when　I　saw　that　you　walked　so　naturally　I　knew　Uncle　Eb　had　been　trying　to　fool　me。　

'Purty　good　sort　uv　a　lover；　ain't　he？'said　he　after　we　were　done　laughing。

'He　wouldn　t　take　no　for　an　answer；'she　answered。

'He　was　aiwuss　a　gritty　cuss；'said　Uncle　Eb；　wiping　his　eyes　with　a　big　red　handkerchief　as　he　rose　to　go。　'Ye　d　oughter　be　mighty　happy　an'ye　will；　too　…　their　am'no　doubt　uv　it　…　not　a　bit。　Trouble　with　most　young　folks　is　they　wan'if　fly　tew　high；　these　days。　If　they　d　only　fly　clus　enough　t'the　ground　so　the　could　aiwuss　touch　one　foot；　they　d　be　all　right。　Glad　ye　ain't　thet　kind。　

We　were　off　early　on　the　boat　…　as　fine　a　summer　morning　as　ever　dawned。　What　with　the　grandeur　of　the　scenery　and　the　sublimity　of　our　happiness　it　was　a　delightful　journey　we　had　that　day。　I　felt　the　peace　and　beauty　of　the　fields；　the　majesty　of　the　mirrored　cliffs　and　mountains；　but　the　fair　face　of　her　I　loved　was　enough　for　me。　Most　of　the　day　Uncle　Eb　sat　near　us　and　I　remember　a　woman　evangelist　came　and　took　a　seat　beside　him；　awhile；　talking　volubly　of　the　scene。

'My　friend；'said　she　presently；　'are　you　a　Christian？　

''Fore　I　answer　I　ll　hex　if　tell　ye　a　story；'said　Uncle　Eb。　'I　recollec　　a　man　by　the　name　o'Ranney　over　n　Vermont　…　he　was　a　pious　man。　Got　into　an　argyment　an'a　feller　slapped　him　in　the　face。　Ranney　turned　t　other　side　an'then　t　other　an'the　feller　kep'a　slappin'hot　'n　heavy。　It　was　jes'like　strappin'a　razor　fer　haifa　minnit。　Then　Ranney　sailed　in　…　gin　him　the　wust　lickin'he　ever　hed。

'〃I　declare；〃　says　another　man；　after　'twas　all　over；　〃I　thought　you　was　a　Christian。〃

〃Am　up　to　a　cert　in　p　int；〃　says　he。　〃Can't　go　tew　fur　not　'n　these　parts　…　men　are　tew　powerful。　'Twon't　do　'less　ye　wan'if　die　sudden。　When　he　begun　poundin'uv　me　I　see　I　wan　t　eggzac　ly　prepared。〃

''Fraid　's　a　good　deal　thet　way　with　most　uv　us。　We　re　Christians　up　to　a　cert　in　p　int。　Fer　one　thing；　I　think　if　a　rnan　ll　stan'still　an'see　himself　knocked　into　the　nex'world　he's　a　leetle　tew　good　fer　this。　

The　good　lady　began　to　preach　and　argue。　For　an　hour　Uncle　Eb　sat　listening　unable　to　get　in　a　word。　When；　at　las