northanger abbey-第21章

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to　oneself。　　I　dare　say　it　will　not　be　a　very　good　ball。　



I　know　the　Mitchells　will　not　be　there。　　I　am　sure　I



pity　everybody　that　is。　　But　I　dare　say；　Mr。　Morland；



you　long　to　be　at　it；　do　not　you？　I　am　sure　you　do。　



Well；　pray　do　not　let　anybody　here　be　a　restraint　on　you。　



I　dare　say　we　could　do　very　well　without　you；　but　you　men



think　yourselves　of　such　consequence。〃







　　　　　Catherine　could　almost　have　accused　Isabella　of　being



wanting　in　tenderness　towards　herself　and　her　sorrows；



so　very　little　did　they　appear　to　dwell　on　her　mind；



and　so　very　inadequate　was　the　comfort　she　offered。　



〃Do　not　be　so　dull；　my　dearest　creature；〃　she　whispered。　



〃You　will　quite　break　my　heart。　　It　was　amazingly　shocking；



to　be　sure；　but　the　Tilneys　were　entirely　to　blame。　



Why　were　not　they　more　punctual？　It　was　dirty；　indeed；



but　what　did　that　signify？　I　am　sure　John　and　I　should



not　have　minded　it。　　I　never　mind　going　through　anything；



where　a　friend　is　concerned；　that　is　my　disposition；



and　John　is　just　the　same；　he　has　amazing　strong　feelings。　



Good　heavens！　What　a　delightful　hand　you　have　got！　Kings；



I　vow！　I　never　was　so　happy　in　my　life！　I　would　fifty　times



rather　you　should　have　them　than　myself。〃







　　　　　And　now　I　may　dismiss　my　heroine　to　the



sleepless　couch；　which　is　the　true　heroine's　portion；



to　a　pillow　strewed　with　thorns　and　wet　with　tears。　



And　lucky　may　she　think　herself；　if　she　get　another



good　night's　rest　in　the　course　of　the　next　three　months。　















CHAPTER　12











　　　　　〃Mrs。　Allen；〃　said　Catherine　the　next　morning；



〃will　there　be　any　harm　in　my　calling　on　Miss　Tilney　today？



I　shall　not　be　easy　till　I　have　explained　everything。〃







　　　　　〃Go；　by　all　means；　my　dear；　only　put　on　a　white　gown；



Miss　Tilney　always　wears　white。〃







　　　　　Catherine　cheerfully　complied；　and　being　properly　equipped；



was　more　impatient　than　ever　to　be　at　the　pump…room；



that　she　might　inform　herself　of　General　Tilneys　lodgings；



for　though　she　believed　they　were　in　Milsom　Street；



she　was　not　certain　of　the　house；　and　Mrs。　Allen's　wavering



convictions　only　made　it　more　doubtful。　　To　Milsom　Street　she



was　directed；　and　having　made　herself　perfect　in　the　number；



hastened　away　with　eager　steps　and　a　beating　heart



to　pay　her　visit；　explain　her　conduct；　and　be　forgiven；



tripping　lightly　through　the　church…yard；　and　resolutely



turning　away　her　eyes；　that　she　might　not　be　obliged　to　see



her　beloved　Isabella　and　her　dear　family；　who；　she　had



reason　to　believe；　were　in　a　shop　hard　by。　　She　reached



the　house　without　any　impediment；　looked　at　the　number；



knocked　at　the　door；　and　inquired　for　Miss　Tilney。　



The　man　believed　Miss　Tilney　to　be　at　home；　but　was　not



quite　certain。　　Would　she　be　pleased　to　send　up　her　name？



She　gave　her　card。　　In　a　few　minutes　the　servant　returned；



and　with　a　look　which　did　not　quite　confirm　his　words；



said　he　had　been　mistaken；　for　that　Miss　Tilney　was



walked　out。　　Catherine；　with　a　blush　of　mortification；



left　the　house。　　She　felt　almost　persuaded　that　Miss



Tilney　was　at　home；　and　too　much　offended　to　admit　her；



and　as　she　retired　down　the　street；　could　not　withhold



one　glance　at　the　drawing…room　windows；　in　expectation



of　seeing　her　there；　but　no　one　appeared　at　them。　



At　the　bottom　of　the　street；　however；　she　looked　back　again；



and　then；　not　at　a　window；　but　issuing　from　the　door；



she　saw　Miss　Tilney　herself。　　She　was　followed　by



a　gentleman；　whom　Catherine　believed　to　be　her　father；



and　they　turned　up　towards　Edgar's　Buildings。　



Catherine；　in　deep　mortification；　proceeded　on　her　way。　



She　could　almost　be　angry　herself　at　such　angry　incivility；



but　she　checked　the　resentful　sensation；　she　remembered



her　own　ignorance。　　She　knew　not　how　such　an　offence　as　hers



might　be　classed　by　the　laws　of　worldly　politeness；　to　what



a　degree　of　unforgivingness　it　might　with　propriety　lead；



nor　to　what　rigours　of　rudeness　in　return　it　might　justly



make　her　amenable。　







　　　　　Dejected　and　humbled；　she　had　even　some　thoughts　of　not



going　with　the　others　to　the　theatre　that　night；　but　it



must　be　confessed　that　they　were　not　of　long　continuance；



for　she　soon　recollected；　in　the　first　place；　that　she　was



without　any　excuse　for　staying　at　home；　and；　in　the　second；



that　it　was　a　play　she　wanted　very　much　to　see。　



To　the　theatre　accordingly　they　all　went；　no　Tilneys



appeared　to　plague　or　please　her；　she　feared　that；



amongst　the　many　perfections　of　the　family；　a　fondness



for　plays　was　not　to　be　ranked；　but　perhaps　it　was　because



they　were　habituated　to　the　finer　performances　of　the



London　stage；　which　she　knew；　on　Isabella's　authority；



rendered　everything　else　of　the　kind　〃quite　horrid。〃



She　was　not　deceived　in　her　own　expectation　of　pleasure；



the　comedy　so　well　suspended　her　care　that　no　one；



observing　her　during　the　first　four　acts；　would　have　supposed



she　had　any　wretchedness　about　her。　　On　the　beginning



of　the　fifth；　however；　the　sudden　view　of　Mr。　Henry　Tilney



and　his　father；　joining　a　party　in　the　opposite　box；



recalled　her　to　anxiety　and　distress。　　The　stage　could



no　longer　excite　genuine　merrimentno　longer　keep　her



whole　attention。　　Every　other　look　upon　an　average　was



directed　towards　the　opposite　box；　and；　for　the　space



of　two　entire　scenes；　did　she　thus　watch　Henry　Tilney；



without　being　once　able　to　catch　his　eye。　　No　longer　could



he　be　suspected　of　indifference　for　a　play；　his　notice　was



never　withdrawn　from　the　stage　during　two　whole　scenes。　



At　length；　however；　he　did　look　towards　her；　and　he



bowedbut　such　a　bow！　No　smile；　no　continued　observance



attended　it；　his　eyes　were　immediately　returned　to　their



former　direction。　　Catherine　was　restlessly　miserable；



she　could　almost　have　run　round　to　the　box　in　which　he　sat



and　forced　him　to　hear　her　explanation。　　Feelings　rather



natural　than　heroic　possessed　her；　instead　of　considering



her　own　dignity　injured　by　this　ready　condemnationinstead



of　proudly　resolving；　in　conscious　innocence；　to　show　her



resentment　towards　him　who　could　harbour　a　doubt　of　it；



to　leave　to　him　all　the　trouble　of　seeking　an　explanation；



and　to　enlighten　him　on　the　past　only　by　avoiding　his　sight；



or　flirting　with　somebody　elseshe　took　to　herself　all



the　shame　of　misconduct；　or　at　least　of　its　appearance；



and　was　only　eager　for　an　opportunity　of　explaining



its　cause。　







　　　　　The　play　concludedthe　curtain　fellHenry　Tilney



was　no　longer　to　be　seen　where　he　had　hitherto　sat；　but　his



father　remained；　and　perhaps　he　might　be　now　coming　round



to　their　box。　　She　was　right；　in　a　few　minutes　he　appeared；



and；　making　his　way　through　the　then　thinning　rows；



spoke　with　like　calm　politeness　to　Mrs。　Allen　and　her　friend。　



Not　with　such　calmness　was　he　answered　by　the　latter：



〃Oh！　Mr。　Tilney；　I　have　been　quite　wild　to　speak　to　you；



and　make　my　apologies。　　You　must　have　thought　me　so　rude；



but　indeed　it　was　not　my　own　fault；　was　it；　Mrs。　Allen？



Did　not　they　tell　me　that　Mr。　Tilney　and　his　sister　were



gone　out　in　a　phaeton　together？　And　then　what　could　I　do？



But　I　had　ten　thousand　times　rather　have　been　with　you；



now　had　not　I；　Mrs。　Allen？〃











　　　　　〃My　dear；　you　tumble　my　gown；〃　was　Mrs。　Allen's　reply。　







　　　　　Her　assurance；　however；　standing　sole　as　it　did；



was　not　thrown　away；　it　brought　a　more　cordial；



more　natural　smile　into　his　countenance；　and　he　replied