resurrection(复活)-第78章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
French Theatre to…morrow night。〃
〃Ah！ And have you seen thatWhat's her name？〃 asked Countess
Katerina Ivanovna。 Mariette gave the name of a celebrated French
actress。
〃You must go； most decidedly； she is wonderful。〃
〃Whom am I to see first； ma tantethe actress or the preacher？〃
Nekhludoff said with a smile。
〃Please don't catch at my words。〃
〃I should think the preacher first and then the actress； or else
the desire for the sermon might vanish altogether；〃 said
Nekhludoff。
〃No； better begin with the French Theatre； and do penance
afterwards。〃
〃Now； then； you are not to hold me up for ridicule。 The preacher
is the preacher and the theatre is the theatre。 One need not weep
in order to be saved。 One must have faith； and then one is sure
to be gay。〃
〃You； ma tante； preach better than any preacher。〃
〃Do you know what？〃 said Mariette。 〃Come into my box to…morrow。〃
〃I am afraid I shall not be able to。〃
The footman interrupted the conversation by announcing a visitor。
It was the secretary of a philanthropic society of which the
Countess was president。
〃Oh； that is the dullest of men。 I think I shall receive him out
there； and return to you later on。 Mariette； give him his tea；〃
said the Countess； and left the room； with her quick； wriggling
walk。
Mariette took the glove off her firm； rather flat hand； the
fourth finger of which was covered with rings。
〃Want any？〃 she said； taking hold of the silver teapot； under
which a spirit lamp was burning； and extending her little finger
curiously。 Her face looked sad and serious。
〃It is always terribly painful to me to notice that people whose
opinion I value confound me with the position I am placed in。〃
She seemed ready to cry as she said these last words。 And though
these words had no meaning； or at any rate a very indefinite
meaning； they seemed to be of exceptional depth； meaning； or
goodness to Nekhludoff； so much was he attracted by the look of
the bright eyes which accompanied the words of this young；
beautiful； and well…dressed woman。
Nekhludoff looked at her in silence； and could not take his eyes
from her face。
〃You think I do not understand you and all that goes on in you。
Why； everybody knows what you are doing。 C'est le secret de
polichinelle。 And I am delighted with your work； and think highly
of you。〃
〃Really； there is nothing to be delighted with； and I have done
so little as Yet。〃
〃No matter。 I understand your feelings； and I understand her。
All right； all right。 I will say nothing more about it；〃 she
said； noticing displeasure on his face。 〃But I also understand
that after seeing all the suffering and the horror in the
prisons；〃 Mariette went on； her only desire that of attracting
him； and guessing with her woman's instinct what was dear and
important to him； 〃you wish to help the sufferers； those who are
made to suffer so terribly by other men； and their cruelty and
indifference。 I understand the willingness to give one's life；
and could give mine in such a cause； but we each have our own
fate。〃
〃Are you； then； dissatisfied with your fate？〃
〃I？〃 she asked； as if struck with surprise that such a question
could be put to her。 〃I have to be satisfied； and am satisfied。
But there is a worm that wakes up〃
〃And he must not be allowed to fall asleep again。 It is a voice
that must he obeyed；〃 Nekhludoff said； failing into the trap。
Many a time later on Nekhludoff remembered with shame his talk
with her。 He remembered her words； which were not so much lies as
imitations of his own； and her face； which seemed looking at him
with sympathetic attention when he told her about the terrors of
the prison and of his impressions in the country。
When the Countess returned they were talking not merely like old；
but like exclusive friends who alone understood one another。 They
were talking about the injustice of power； of the sufferings of
the unfortunate； the poverty of the people； yet in reality in the
midst of the sound of their talk their eyes； gazing at each
other； kept asking； 〃Can you love me？〃 and answering； 〃I can；〃
and the sex…feeling； taking the most unexpected and brightest
forms； drew them to each other。 As she was going away she told
him that she would always he willing to serve him in any way she
could； and asked him to come and see her； if only for a moment；
in the theatre next day； as she had a very important thing to
tell him about。
〃Yes； and when shall I see you again？〃 she added； with a sigh；
carefully drawing the glove over her jewelled hand。
〃Say you will come。〃
Nekhludoff promised。
That night； when Nekhludoff was alone in his room； and lay down
after putting out his candle； he could not sleep。 He thought of
Maslova； of the decision of the Senate； of his resolve to follow
her in any case； of his having given up the land。 The face of
Mariette appeared to him as if in answer to those thoughtsher
look； her sigh； her words； 〃When shall I see you again？〃 and her
smile seemed vivid as if he really saw her； and he also smiled。
〃Shall I be doing right in going to Siberia？ And have I done
right in divesting myself of my wealth？〃 And the answers to the
questions on this Petersburg night； on which the daylight
streamed into the window from under the blind； were quite
indefinite。 All seemed mixed in his head。 He recalled his former
state of mind； and the former sequence of his thoughts； but they
had no longer their former power or validity。
〃And supposing I have invented all this； and am unable to live it
throughsupposing I repent of having acted right；〃 he thought；
and unable to answer he was seized with such anguish and despair
as he had long not felt。 Unable to free himself from his
perplexity； he fell into a heavy sleep； such as he had slept
after a heavy loss at cards。
CHAPTER XXV。
LYDIA SHOUSTOVA'S HOME。
Nekhludoff awoke next morning feeling as if he had been guilty of
some iniquity the day before。 He began considering。 He could not
remember having done anything wrong； he had committed no evil
act； but he had had evil thoughts。 He had thought that all his
present resolutions to marry Katusha and to give up his land were
unachievable dreams； that he should be unable to bear it； that it
was artificial； unnatural； and that he would have to go on living
as he lived。
He had committed no evil action； but； what was far worse than an
evil action； he had entertained evil thoughts whence all evil
actions proceed。 An evil action may not be repeated； and can be
repented of； but evil thoughts generate all evil actions。
An evil action only smooths the path for other evil acts； evil
thoughts uncontrollably drag one along that path。
When Nekhludoff repeated in his mind the thoughts of the day
before； he was surprised that he could for a moment have believed
these thoughts。 However new and difficult that which he had
decided to do might be； he knew that it was the only possible way
of life for him now； and however easy and natural it might have
been to return to his former state； he knew that state to be
death。
Yesterday's temptation seemed like the feeling when one awakes
from deep sleep； and； without feeling sleepy； wants to lie
comfortably in bed a little longer； yet knows that it is time to
rise and commence the glad and important work that awaits one。
On that； his last day in Petersburg； he went in the morning to
the Vasilievski Ostrov to see Shoustova。 Shoustova lived on the
second floor； and having been shown the back stairs； Nekhludoff
entered straight into the hot kitchen； which smelt strongly of
food。 An elderly woman； with turned…up sleeves； with an apron and
spectacles； stood by the fire stirring something in a steaming
pan。
〃Whom do you want？〃 she asked severely； looking at him over her
spectacles。
Before Nekhludoff had time to answer； an expression of fright and
joy appeared on her face。
〃Oh； Prince！〃 she exclaimed； wiping her hands on her apron。 〃But
why have you come the back way？ Our Benefactor！ I am her mother。
They have nearly killed my little girl。 You have saved us；〃 she
said； catching hold of Nekhludoff's hand and trying to kiss it。
〃I went to see you yeste
