resurrection(复活)-第32章

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account？　There's　no　need。　I　had　already　heard　before　that　she　had
strayed　from　the　right　path。　Well；　whose　fault　is　it？〃

〃Mine！　that's　why　I　want　to　put　it　right。〃

〃It　is　hard　to　put　right。〃

〃That　is　my　business。　But　if　you　are　thinking　about　yourself；
then　I　will　tell　you　that；　as　mamma　expressed　the　wish〃

〃I　am　not　thinking　about　myself。　I　have　been　so　bountifully
treated　by　the　dear　defunct；　that　I　desire　nothing。　Lisenka〃　（her
married　niece）　〃has　been　inviting　me；　and　I　shall　go　to　her　when
I　am　not　wanted　any　longer。　Only　it　is　a　pity　you　should　take
this　so　to　heart；　it　happens　to　everybody。〃

〃Well；　I　do　not　think　so。　And　I　still　beg　that　you　will　help　me
let　this　lodging　and　put　away　the　things。　And　please　do　not　be
angry　with　me。　I　am　very；　very　grateful　to　you　for　all　you　have
done。〃

And；　strangely；　from　the　moment　Nekhludoff　realised　that　it　was
he　who　was　so　bad　and　disgusting　to　himself；　others　were　no
longer　disgusting　to　him；　on　the　contrary；　he　felt　a　kindly
respect　for　Agraphena　Petrovna；　and　for　Corney。

He　would　have　liked　to　go　and　confess　to　Corney　also；　but
Corney's　manner　was　so　insinuatingly　deferential　that　he　had　not
the　resolution　to　do　it。

On　the　way　to　the　Law　Courts；　passing　along　the　same　streets　with
the　same　isvostchik　as　the　day　before；　he　was　surprised　what　a
different　being　he　felt　himself　to　be。　The　marriage　with　Missy；
which　only　yesterday　seemed　so　probable；　appeared　quite
impossible　now。　The　day　before　he　felt　it　was　for　him　to　choose；
and　had　no　doubts　that　she　would　be　happy　to　marry　him；　to…day　he
felt　himself　unworthy　not　only　of　marrying；　but　even　of　being
intimate　with　her。　〃If　she　only　knew　what　I　am；　nothing　would
induce　her　to　receive　me。　And　only　yesterday　I　was　finding　fault
with　her　because　she　flirted　with　N…。　Anyhow；　even　if　she
consented　to　marry　me；　could　I　be；　I　won't　say　happy；　but　at
peace；　knowing　that　the　other　was　here　in　prison；　and　would
to…day　or　to…morrow　he　taken　to　Siberia　with　a　gang　of　other
prisoners；　while　I　accepted　congratulations　and　made　calls　with
my　young　wife；　or　while　I　count　the　votes　at　the　meetings；　for
and　against　the　motion　brought　forward　by　the　rural　inspection；
etc。；　together　with　the　Marechal　de　Noblesse；　whom　I　abominably
deceive；　and　afterwards　make　appointments　with　his　wife　（how
abominable！）　or　while　I　continue　to　work　at　my　picture；　which
will　certainly　never　get　finished？　Besides；　I　have　no　business　to
waste　time　on　such　things。　I　can　do　nothing　of　the　kind　now；〃　he
continued　to　himself；　rejoicing　at　the　change　he　felt　within
himself。　〃The　first　thing　now　is　to　see　the　advocate　and　find　out
his　decision；　and　then　。　。　。　then　go　and　see　her　and　tell　her
everything。〃

And　when　he　pictured　to　himself　how　he　would　see　her；　and　tell
her　all；　confess　his　sin　to　her；　and　tell　her　that　he　would　do
all　in　his　power　to　atone　for　his　sin；　he　was　touched　at　his　own
goodness；　and　the　tears　came　to　his　eyes。


CHAPTER　XXXIV。

THE　ABSURDITY　OF　LAWREFLECTIONS　OF　A　JURYMAN。

On　coming　into　the　Law　Courts　Nekhludoff　met　the　usher　of
yesterday；　who　to…day　seemed　to　him　much　to　be　pitied；　in　the
corridor；　and　asked　him　where　those　prisoners　who　had　been
sentenced　were　kept；　and　to　whom　one　had　to　apply　for　permission
to　visit　them。　The　usher　told　him　that　the　condemned　prisoners
were　kept　in　different　places；　and　that；　until　they　received
their　sentence　in　its　final　form；　the　permission　to　visit　them
depended　on　the　president。　〃I'll　come　and　call　you　myself；　and
take　you　to　the　president　after　the　session。　The　president　is　not
even　here　at　present。　After　the　session！　And　now　please　come　in；
we　are　going　to　commence。〃

Nekhludoff　thanked　the　usher　for　his　kindness；　and　went　into　the
jurymen's　room。　As　he　was　approaching　the　room；　the　other　jurymen
were　just　leaving　it　to　go　into　the　court。　The　merchant　had　again
partaken　of　a　little　refreshment；　and　was　as　merry　as　the　day
before；　and　greeted　Nekhludoff　like　an　old　friend。　And　to…day
Peter　Gerasimovitch　did　not　arouse　any　unpleasant　feelings　in
Nekhludoff　by　his　familiarity　and　his　loud　laughter。　Nekhludoff
would　have　liked　to　tell　all　the　jurymen　about　his　relations　to
yesterday's　prisoner。　〃By　rights；〃　he　thought；　〃I　ought　to　have
got　up　yesterday　during　the　trial　and　disclosed　my　guilt。〃

He　entered　the　court　with　the　other　jurymen；　and　witnessed　the
same　procedure　as　the　day　before。

〃The　judges　are　coming；〃　was　again　proclaimed；　and　again　three
men；　with　embroidered　collars；　ascended　the　platform；　and　there
was　the　same　settling　of　the　jury　on　the　high…backed　chairs；　the
same　gendarmes；　the　same　portraits；　the　same　priest；　and
Nekhludoff　felt　that；　though　he　knew　what　he　ought　to　do；　he
could　not　interrupt　all　this　solemnity。　The　preparations　for　the
trials　were　just　the　same　as　the　day　before；　excepting　that　the
swearing　in　of　the　jury　and　the　president's　address　to　them　were
omitted。

The　case　before　the　Court　this　day　was　one　of　burglary。　The
prisoner；　guarded　by　two　gendarmes　with　naked　swords；　was　a　thin；
narrow…chested　lad　of　20；　with　a　bloodless；　sallow　face；　dressed
in　a　grey　cloak。　He　sat　alone　in　the　prisoner's　dock。　This　boy
was　accused　of　having；　together　with　a　companion；　broken　the　lock
of　a　shed　and　stolen　several　old　mats　valued　at　3　roubles　＇the
rouble　is　worth　a　little　over　two　shillings；　and　contains　100
copecks＇　and　67　copecks。　According　to　the　indictment；　a
policeman　had　stopped　this　boy　as　he　was　passing　with　his
companion；　who　was　carrying　the　mats　on　his　shoulder。　The　boy　and
his　companion　confessed　at　once；　and　were　both　imprisoned。　The
boy's　companion；　a　locksmith；　died　in　prison；　and　so　the　boy　was
being　tried　alone。　The　old　mats　were　lying　on　the　table　as　the
objects　of　material　evidence。　　The　business　was　conducted　just　in
the　same　manner　as　the　day　before；　with　the　whole　armoury　of
evidence；　proofs；　witnesses；　swearing　in；　questions；　experts；　and
cross…examinations。　In　answer　to　every　question　put　to　him　by　the
president；　the　prosecutor；　or　the　advocate；　the　policeman　（one　of
the　witnesses）　in　variably　ejected　the　words：　〃just　so；〃　or
〃Can't　tell。〃　Yet；　in　spite　of　his　being　stupefied；　and　rendered
a　mere　machine　by　military　discipline；　his　reluctance　to　speak
about　the　arrest　of　this　prisoner　was　evident。　Another　witness；
an　old　house　proprietor；　and　owner　of　the　mats；　evidently　a　rich
old　man；　when　asked　whether　the　mats　were　his；　reluctantly
identified　them　as　such。　When　the　public　prosecutor　asked　him
what　he　meant　to　do　with　these　mats；　what　use　they　were　to　him；
he　got　angry；　and　answered：　〃The　devil　take　those　mats；　I　don't
want　them　at　all。　　Had　I　known　there　would　be　all　this　bother
about　them　I　should　not　have　gone　looking　for　them；　but　would
rather　have　added　a　ten…rouble　note　or　two　to　them；　only　not　to
be　dragged　here　and　pestered　with　questions。　I　have　spent　a　lot
on　isvostchiks。　　Besides；　I　am　not　well。　I　have　been　suffering
from　rheumatism　for　the　last　seven　years。〃　It　was　thus　the
witness　spoke。

The　accused　himself　confessed　everything；　and　looking　round
stupidly；　like　an　animal　that　is　caught；　related　how　it　had　all
happened。　Still　the　public　prosecutor；　drawing　up　his　shoulders
as　he　had　done　the　day　before；　asked　subtle　questions　calculated
to　catch　a　cunning　criminal。

In　his　speech　he　proved　that　the　theft　had　been　committed　from　a
dwelling…place；　and　a　lock　had　been　broken；　and　that　the　boy；
therefore；　deserved　a　heavy　punishment。　The　advocate　appointed　by
the　Court　proved　that　the　theft　was　not　committed　from　a
dwelling…place；　and　that；　though　the　crime　was　a　serious　one；　the
prisoner　was　not　so　very　dangerous　to　society　as　the　prosecutor
stated。　The　president　assumed　the　role　of　absolute　neutrality　in
the　same　way　as　he　had　done　on　the　previous　day；　and　impressed　on
the　jury　facts　which　they　all　knew　and　could　not　help　knowing。
Then　came　an　interval；　just　as　the　day　before；　and　they　smoked；
and　again　the　usher　called　out　〃The　judges　are　coming；〃　and　in
the　same　way　the　two　gendarmes　sat　trying　to　keep　awake　and
threatening　the　prisoner　with　their　naked　weapons。

The　proceedings　showed　that　thi