resurrection(复活)-第13章

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nearness　to　and　intercourse　with　members　of　the　Imperial　family；
as　is　the　case　in　the　chosen　regiment　of　the　Guards　in　which　all
the　officers　are　rich　and　of　good　family；　then　this　depraving
influence　creates　in　the　men　who　succumb　to　it　a　perfect　mania　of
selfishness。　And　this　mania　of　selfishness　attacked　Nekhludoff
from　the　moment　he　entered　the　army　and　began　living　in　the　way
his　companions　lived。　He　had　no　occupation　whatever　except　to
dress　in　a　uniform；　splendidly　made　and　well　brushed　by　other
people；　and；　with　arms　also　made　and　cleaned　and　handed　to　him　by
others；　ride　to　reviews　on　a　fine　horse　which　had　been　bred；
broken　in　and　fed　by　others。　There；　with　other　men　like　himself；
he　had　to　wave　a　sword；　shoot　off　guns；　and　teach　others　to　do
the　same。　He　had　no　other　work；　and　the　highly…placed　persons；
young　and　old；　the　Tsar　and　those　near　him；　not　only　sanctioned
his　occupation　but　praised　and　thanked　him　for　it。

After　this　was　done；　it　was　thought　important　to　eat；　and
particularly　to　drink；　in　officers'　clubs　or　the　salons　of　the
best　restaurants；　squandering　large　sums　of　money；　which　came
from　some　invisible　source；　then　theatres；　ballets；　women；　then
again　riding　on　horseback；　waving　of　swords　and　shooting；　and
again　the　squandering　of　money；　the　wine；　cards；　and　women。　This
kind　of　life　acts　on　military　men　even　more　depravingly　than　on
others；　because　if　any　other　than　a　military　man　lead　such　a　life
he　cannot　help　being　ashamed　of　it　in　the　depth　of　his　heart。　A
military　man　is；　on　the　contrary；　proud　of　a　life　of　this　kind
especially　at　war　time；　and　Nekhludoff　had　entered　the　army　just
after　war　with　the　Turks　had　been　declared。　〃We　are　prepared　to
sacrifice　our　lives　at　the　wars；　and　therefore　a　gay；　reckless
life　is　not　only　pardonable；　but　absolutely　necessary　for　us；　and
so　we　lead　it。〃

Such　were　Nekhludoff's　confused　thoughts　at　this　period　of　his
existence；　and　he　felt　all　the　time　the　delight　of　being　free　of
the　moral　barriers　he　had　formerly　set　himself。　And　the　state　he
lived　in　was　that　of　a　chronic　mania　of　selfishness。　He　was　in
this　state　when；　after　three　years'　absence；　he　came　again　to
visit　his　aunts。


CHAPTER　XIV。

THE　SECOND　MEETING　WITH　MASLOVA。

Nekhludoff　went　to　visit　his　aunts　because　their　estate　lay　near
the　road　he　had　to　travel　in　order　to　join　his　regiment；　which
had　gone　forward；　because　they　had　very　warmly　asked　him　to　come；
and　especially　because　he　wanted　to　see　Katusha。　Perhaps　in　his
heart　he　had　already　formed　those　evil　designs　against　Katusha
which　his　now　uncontrolled　animal　self　suggested　to　him；　but　he
did　not　acknowledge　this　as　his　intention；　but　only　wished　to　go
back　to　the　spot　where　he　had　been　so　happy；　to　see　his　rather
funny；　but　dear；　kind…hearted　old　aunts；　who　always；　without　his
noticing　it；　surrounded　him　with　an　atmosphere　of　love　and
admiration；　and　to　see　sweet　Katusha；　of　whom　he　had　retained　so
pleasant　a　memory。

He　arrived　at　the　end　of　March；　on　Good　Friday；　after　the　thaw
had　set　in。　It　was　pouring　with　rain　so　that　he　had　not　a　dry
thread　on　him　and　was　feeling　very　cold；　but　yet　vigorous　and
full　of　spirits；　as　always　at　that　time。　〃Is　she　still　with
them？〃　he　thought；　as　he　drove　into　the　familiar；　old…fashioned
courtyard；　surrounded　by　a　low　brick　wall；　and　now　filled　with
snow　off　the　roofs。

He　expected　she　would　come　out　when　she　heard　the　sledge　bells
but　she　did　not。　Two　bare…footed　women　with　pails　and　tucked…up
skirts；　who　had　evidently　been　scrubbing　the　floors；　came　out　of
the　side　door。　She　was　not　at　the　front　door　either；　and　only
Tikhon；　the　man…servant；　with　his　apron　on；　evidently　also　busy
cleaning；　came　out　into　the　front　porch。　His　aunt　Sophia　Ivanovna
alone　met　him　in　the　ante…room；　she　had　a　silk　dress　on　and　a　cap
on　her　head。　Both　aunts　had　been　to　church　and　had　received
communion。

〃Well；　this　is　nice　of　you　to　come；〃　said　Sophia　Ivanovna；
kissing　him。　〃Mary　is　not　well；　got　tired　in　church；　we　have　been
to　communion。〃

〃I　congratulate　you；　Aunt　Sophia；〃　＇it　is　usual　in　Russia　to
congratulate　those　who　have　received　communion＇　said　Nekhludoff；
kissing　Sophia　Ivanovna's　hand。　〃Oh；　I　beg　your　pardon；　I　have
made　you　wet。〃

〃Go　to　your　roomwhy　you　are　soaking　wet。　Dear　me；　you　have　got
moustaches！　。　。　。　Katusha！　Katusha！　Get　him　some　coffee；　be
quick。〃

〃Directly；〃　came　the　sound　of　a　well…known；　pleasant　voice　from
the　passage；　and　Nekhludoff's　heart　cried　out　〃She's　here！〃　and
it　was　as　if　the　sun　had　come　out　from　behind　the　clouds。

Nekhludoff；　followed　by　Tikhon；　went　gaily　to　his　old　room　to
change　his　things。　He　felt　inclined　to　ask　Tikhon　about　Katusha；
how　she　was；　what　she　was　doing；　was　she　not　going　to　be　married？
But　Tikhon　was　so　respectful　and　at　the　same　time　so　severe；
insisted　so　firmly　on　pouring　the　water　out　of　the　jug　for　him；
that　Nekhludoff　could　not　make　up　his　mind　to　ask　him　about
Katusha；　but　only　inquired　about　Tikhon's　grandsons；　about　the
old　so…called　〃brother's〃　horse；　and　about　the　dog　Polkan。　All
were　alive　except　Polkan；　who　had　gone　mad　the　summer　before。

When　he　had　taken　off　all　his　wet　things　and　just　begun　to　dress
again；　Nekhludoff　heard　quick；　familiar　footsteps　and　a　knock　at
the　door。　Nekhludoff　knew　the　steps　and　also　the　knock。　No　one
but　she　walked　and　knocked　like　that。

Having　thrown　his　wet　greatcoat　over　his　shoulders；　he　opened　the
door。

〃Come　in。〃　It　was　she；　Katusha；　the　same；　only　sweeter　than
before。　The　slightly　squinting　naive　black　eyes　looked　up　in　the
same　old　way。　Now　as　then；　she　had　on　a　white　apron。　She　brought
him　from　his　aunts　a　piece　of　scented　soap；　with　the　wrapper　just
taken　off；　and　two　towelsone　a　long　Russian　embroidered　one；
the　other　a　bath　towel。　The　unused　soap　with　the　stamped
inscription；　the　towels；　and　her　own　self；　all　were　equally
clean；　fresh；　undefiled　and　pleasant。　The　irrepressible　smile　of
joy　at　the　sight　of　him　made　the　sweet；　firm　lips　pucker　up　as　of
old。

〃How　do　you　do；　Dmitri　Ivanovitch？〃　she　uttered　with　difficulty；
her　face　suffused　with　a　rosy　blush。

〃Good…morning！　How　do　you　do？〃　he　said；　also　blushing。　〃Alive　and
well？〃

Yes；　the　Lord　be　thanked。　And　here　is　your　favorite　pink　soap　and
towels　from　your　aunts；〃　she　said；　putting　the　soap　on　the　table
and　hanging　the　towels　over　the　back　of　a　chair。

〃There　is　everything　here；〃　said　Tikhon；　defending　the　visitor's
independence；　and　pointing　to　Nekhludoff's　open　dressing　case
filled　with　brushes；　perfume；　fixatoire；　a　great　many　bottles
with　silver　lids　and　all　sorts　of　toilet　appliances。

〃Thank　my　aunts；　please。　Oh；　how　glad　I　am　to　be　here；〃　said
Nekhludoff；　his　heart　filling　with　light　and　tenderness　as　of
old。

She　only　smiled　in　answer　to　these　words；　and　went　out。　The
aunts；　who　had　always　loved　Nekhludoff；　welcomed　him　this　time
more　warmly　than　ever。　Dmitri　was　going　to　the　war；　where　he
might　be　wounded　or　killed；　and　this　touched　the　old　aunts。
Nekhludoff　had　arranged　to　stay　only　a　day　and　night　with　his
aunts；　but　when　he　had　seen　Katusha　he　agreed　to　stay　over　Easter
with　them　and　telegraphed　to　his　friend　Schonbock；　whom　he　was　to
have　joined　in　Odessa；　that　he　should　come　and　meet　him　at　his
aunts'　instead。

As　soon　as　he　had　seen　Katusha　Nekhludoff's　old　feelings　toward
her　awoke　again。　Now；　just　as　then；　he　could　not　see　her　white
apron　without　getting　excited；　he　could　not　listen　to　her　steps；
her　voice；　her　laugh；　without　a　feeling　of　joy；　he　could　not　look
at　her　eyes；　black　as　sloes；　without　a　feeling　of　tenderness；
especially　when　she　smiled；　and；　above　all；　he　could　not　notice
without　agitation　how　she　blushed　when　they　met。　He　felt　he　was
in　love；　but　not　as　before；　when　this　love　was　a　kind　of　mystery
to　him　and　he　would　not　own；　even　to　himself；　that　he　loved；　and
when　he　was　persuaded　that　one　could　love　only　once；　now　he　knew
he　was　in　love　and　was　glad　of　it；　and　knew　dimly　what　this　love
consisted　of　and　what　it　might　lead　to；　though　he　sought　to
conceal　it　even　from　himself。　In　Nekhludoff；　as　in　every　man；
there　were　two　beings：　one　the　spiritual；　seeking　only　that　kind
of　h