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第111章

resurrection(复活)-第111章

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in love。 Now; that's a thing I never should have expected; that
Valdemar Simonson should be in love; and in the silliest; most
boyish manner。 It is strange; and; to say the truth; it is sad;〃
and she sighed。

〃But she? Katusha? How does she look at it; do you think?〃
Nekhludoff asked。

〃She?〃 Mary Pavlovna waited; evidently wishing to give as exact
an answer as possible。 〃She? Well; you see; in spite of her past
she has one of the most moral naturesand such fine feelings。
She loves youloves you well; and is happy to be able to do you
even the negative good of not letting you get entangled with her。
Marriage with you would be a terrible fall for her; worse than
all that's past; and therefore she will never consent to it。 And
yet your presence troubles her。〃

〃Well; what am I to do? Ought I to vanish?〃

Mary Pavlovna smiled her sweet; childlike smile; and said; 〃Yes;
partly。〃

〃How is one to vanish partly?〃

〃I am talking nonsense。 But as for her; I should like to tell you
that she probably sees the silliness of this rapturous kind of
love (he has not spoken to her); and is both flattered and afraid
of it。 I am not competent to judge in such affairs; you know;
still I believe that on his part it is the most ordinary man's
feeling; though it is masked。 He says that this love arouses his
energy and is Platonic; but I know that even if it is
exceptional; still at the bottom it is degrading。〃

Mary Pavlovna had wandered from the subject; having started on
her favourite theme。

〃Well; but what am I to do?〃 Nekhludoff asked。

〃I think you should tell her everything; it is always best that
everything should be clear。 Have a talk with her; I shall call
her。 Shall I?〃 said Mary Pavlovna。

〃If you please;〃 said Nekhludoff; and Mary Pavlovna went。

A strange feeling overcame Nekhludoff when he was alone in the
little room with the sleeping Vera Doukhova; listening to her
soft breathing; broken now and then by moans; and to the
incessant dirt that came through the two doors that separated him
from the criminals。 What Simonson had told him freed him from the
self…imposed duty; which had seemed hard and strange to him in
his weak moments; and yet now he felt something that was not
merely unpleasant but painful。

He had a feeling that this offer of Simonson's destroyed the
exceptional character of his sacrifice; and thereby lessened its
value in his own and others' eyes; if so good a man who was not
bound to her by any kind of tie wanted to join his fate to hers;
then this sacrifice was not so great。 There may have also been an
admixture of ordinary jealousy。 He had got so used to her love
that he did not like to admit that she loved another。

Then it also upset the plans he had formed of living near her
while she was doing her term。 If she married Simonson his
presence would be unnecessary; and he would have to form new
plans。

Before he had time to analyse his feelings the loud din of the
prisoners' voices came in with a rush (something special was
going on among them to…day) as the door opened to let Katusha in。

She stepped briskly close up to him and said; 〃Mary Pavlovna has
sent me。〃

〃Yes; I must have a talk with you。 Sit down。 Valdemar Simonson
has been speaking to me。〃

She sat down and folded her hands in her lap and seemed quite
calm; but hardly had Nekhludoff uttered Simonson's name when she
flushed crimson。

〃What did he say?〃 she asked。

〃He told me he wanted to marry you。〃

Her face suddenly puckered up with pain; but she said nothing and
only cast down her eyes。

〃He is asking for my consent or my advice。 I told him that it all
depends entirely on youthat you must decide。〃

〃Ah; what does it all mean? Why?〃 she muttered; and looked in
his eyes with that peculiar squint that always strangely affected
Nekhludoff。

They sat silent for a few minutes looking into each other's eyes;
and this look told much to both of them。

〃You must decide;〃 Nekhludoff repeated。

〃What am I to decide? Everything has long been decided。〃

〃No; you must decide whether you will accept Mr。 Simonson's
offer;〃 said Nekhludoff。

〃What sort of a wife can I beI; a convict? Why should I ruin
Mr。 Simonson; too?〃 she said; with a frown。

〃Well; but if the sentence should be mitigated。〃

〃Oh; leave me alone。 I have nothing more to say;〃 she said; and
rose to leave the room。


CHAPTER XVIII。

NEVEROFF'S FATE。

When; following Katusha; Nekhludoff returned to the men's room;
he found every one there in agitation。 Nabatoff; who went about
all over the place; and who got to know everybody; and noticed
everything; had just brought news which staggered them all。 The
news was that he had discovered a note on a wall; written by the
revolutionist Petlin; who had been sentenced to hard labour; and
who; every one thought; had long since reached the Kara; and now
it turned out that he had passed this way quite recently; the
only political prisoner among criminal convicts。

〃On the 17th of August;〃 so ran the note; 〃I was sent off alone
with the criminals。 Neveroff was with me; but hanged himself in
the lunatic asylum in Kasan。 I am well and in good spirits and
hope for the best。〃

All were discussing Petlin's position and the possible reasons of
Neveroff's suicide。 Only Kryltzoff sat silent and preoccupied;
his glistening eyes gazing fixedly in front of him。

〃My husband told me that Neveroff had a vision while still in the
Petropavlovski prison;〃 said Rintzeva。

〃Yes; he was a poet; a dreamer; this sort of people cannot stand
solitary confinement;〃 said Novodvoroff。 〃Now; I never gave my
imagination vent when in solitary confinement; but arranged my
days most systematically; and in this way always bore it very
well。〃

〃What is there unbearable about it? Why; I used to be glad when
they locked me up;〃 said Nabatoff cheerfully; wishing to dispel
the general depression。

〃A fellow's afraid of everything; of being arrested himself and
entangling others; and of spoiling the whole business; and then
he gets locked up; and all responsibility is at an end; and he
can rest; he can just sit and smoke。〃

〃You knew him well?〃 asked Mary Pavlovna; glancing anxiously at
the altered; haggard expression of Kryltzoff's face。

〃Neveroff a dreamer?〃 Kryltzoff suddenly began; panting for
breath as if he had been shouting or singing for a long time。
〃Neveroff was a man 'such as the earth bears few of;' as our
doorkeeper used to express it。 Yes; he had a nature like crystal;
you could see him right through; he could not lie; he could not
dissemble; not simply thin skinned; but with all his nerves laid
bare; as if he were flayed。 Yes; his was a complicated; rich
nature; not such a But where is the use of talking?〃 he added;
with a vicious frown。 〃Shall we first educate the people and then
change the forms of life; or first change the forms and then
struggle; using peaceful propaganda or terrorism? So we go on
disputing while they kill; they do not disputethey know their
business; they don't care whether dozens; hundreds of men
perishand what men! No; that the best should perish is just
what they want。 Yes; Herzen said that when the Decembrists were
withdrawn from circulation the average level of our society sank。
I should think so; indeed。 Then Herzen himself and his fellows
were withdrawn; now is the turn of the Neveroffs。〃

〃They can't all be got rid off;〃 said Nabatoff; in his cheerful
tones。〃 There will always be left enough to continue the breed。
No; there won't; if we show any pity to THEM there;〃 Nabatoff
said; raising his voice; and not letting himself be interrupted;
〃Give me a cigarette。〃

〃Oh; Anatole; it is not good for you;〃 said Mary Pavlovna。
〃Please do not smoke。〃

〃Oh; leave me alone;〃 he said angrily; and lit a cigarette; but
at once began to cough and to retch; as if he were going to be
sick。 Having cleared his throat though; he went on:

〃What we have been doing is not the thing at all。 Not to argue;
but for all to uniteto destroy themthat's it。〃

〃But they are also human beings;〃 said Nekhludoff。

〃No; they are not human; they who can do what they are doing
No There; now; I heard that some kin

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