beasts and superbeasts-第21章

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when　you　sat　down　on　the　seat。　　I　saw　it　on　the　ground　

after　you　left。　　You　must　excuse　my　disbelief；　but　

appearances　were　really　rather　against　you；　and　now；　as　I　

appealed　to　the　testimony　of　the　soap　I　think　I　ought　to　

abide　by　its　verdict。　　If　the　loan　of　a　sovereign　is　any　

good　to　you　…　〃



The　young　man　hastily　removed　all　doubt　on　the　

subject　by　pocketing　the　coin。



〃Here　is　my　card　with　my　address；〃　continued　

Gortsby；　〃any　day　this　week　will　do　for　returning　the　

money；　and　here　is　the　soap　…　don't　lose　it　again　it's　

been　a　good　friend　to　you。〃



〃Lucky　thing　your　finding　it；〃　said　the　youth；　and　

then；　with　a　catch　in　his　voice；　he　blurted　out　a　word　or　

two　of　thanks　and　fled　headlong　in　the　direction　of　

Knightsbridge。



〃Poor　boy；　he　as　nearly　as　possible　broke　down；〃　

said　Gortsby　to　himself。　　〃I　don't　wonder　either；　the　

relief　from　his　quandary　must　have　been　acute。　　It's　a　

lesson　to　me　not　to　be　too　clever　in　judging　by　

circumstances。〃



As　Gortsby　retraced　his　steps　past　the　seat　where　

the　little　drama　had　taken　place　he　saw　an　elderly　

gentleman　poking　and　peering　beneath　it　and　on　all　sides　

of　it；　and　recognised　his　earlier　fellow　occupant。



〃Have　you　lost　anything；　sir？〃　he　asked。



〃Yes；　sir；　a　cake　of　soap。〃





A　TOUCH　OF　REALISM





〃I　HOPE　you've　come　full　of　suggestions　for　

Christmas；〃　said　Lady　Blonze　to　her　latest　arrived　guest；　

〃the　old…fashioned　Christmas　and　the　up…to…date　Christmas　

are　both　so　played　out。　　I　want　to　have　something　really　

original　this　year。〃



〃I　was　staying　with　the　Mathesons　last　month；〃　said　

Blanche　Boveal　eagerly；　〃and　we　had　such　a　good　idea。　　

Every　one　in　the　house…party　had　to　be　a　character　and　

behave　consistently　all　the　time；　and　at　the　end　of　the　

visit　one　had　to　guess　what　every　one's　character　was。　　

The　one　who　was　voted　to　have　acted　his　or　her　character　

best　got　a　prize。〃



〃It　sounds　amusing；〃　said　Lady　Blonze。



〃I　was　St。　Francis　of　Assisi；〃　continued　Blanche；　

〃we　hadn't　got　to　keep　to　our　right　sexes。　　I　kept　

getting　up　in　the　middle　of　a　meal；　and　throwing　out　food　

to　the　birds；　you　see；　the　chief　thing　that　one　remembers　

of　St。　Francis　is　that　he　was　fond　of　the　birds。　　Every　

one　was　so　stupid　about　it；　and　thought　that　I　was　the　

old　man　who　feeds　the　sparrows　in　the　Tuileries　Gardens。　　

Then　Colonel　Pentley　was　the　Jolly　Miller　on　the　banks　of　

Dee。〃



〃How　on　earth　did　he　do　that？〃　asked　Bertie　van　

Tahn。



〃　'He　laughed　and　sang　from　morn　till　night；'　〃　

explained　Blanche。



〃How　dreadful　for　the　rest　of　you；〃　said　Bertie；　

〃and　anyway　he　wasn't　on　the　banks　of　Dee。〃



〃One　had　to　imagine　that；〃　said　Blanche。



〃If　you　could　imagine　all　that　you　might　as　well　

imagine　cattle　on　the　further　bank　and　keep　on　calling　

them　home；　Mary…fashion；　across　the　sands　of　Dee。　　Or　you　

might　change　the　river　to　the　Yarrow　and　imagine　it　was　

on　the　top　of　you；　and　say　you　were　Willie；　or　whoever　it　

was；　drowned　in　Yarrow。〃



〃Of　course　it's　easy　to　make　fun　of　it；〃　said　

Blanche　sharply；　〃but　it　was　extremely　interesting　and　

amusing。　　The　prize　was　rather　a　fiasco；　though。　　You　

see；　Millie　Matheson　said　her　character　was　Lady　

Bountiful；　and　as　she　was　our　hostess　of　course　we　all　

had　to　vote　that　she　had　carried　out　her　character　better　

than　anyone。　　Otherwise　I　ought　to　have　got　the　prize。〃



〃It's　quite　an　idea　for　a　Christmas　party；〃　said　

Lady　Blonze；　〃we　must　certainly　do　it　here。〃



Sir　Nicholas　was　not　so　enthusiastic。　　〃Are　you　

quite　sure；　my　dear；　that　you're　wise　in　doing　this　

thing？〃　he　said　to　his　wife　when　they　were　alone　

together。　　〃It　might　do　very　well　at　the　Mathesons；　where　

they　had　rather　a　staid；　elderly　house…party；　but　here　it　

will　be　a　different　matter。　　There　is　the　Durmot　flapper；　

for　instance；　who　simply　stops　at　nothing；　and　you　know　

what　Van　Tahn　is　like。　　Then　there　is　Cyril　Skatterly；　he　

has　madness　on　one　side　of　his　family　and　a　Hungarian　

grandmother　on　the　other。〃



〃I　don't　see　what　they　could　do　that　would　matter；〃　

said　Lady　Blonze。



〃It's　the　unknown　that　is　to　be　dreaded；〃　said　Sir　

Nicholas。　　〃If　Skatterly　took　it　into　his　head　to　

represent　a　Bull　of　Bashan；　well；　I'd　rather　not　be　

here。〃



〃Of　course　we　shan't　allow　any　Bible　characters。　　

Besides；　I　don't　know　what　the　Bulls　of　Bashan　really　did　

that　was　so　very　dreadful；　they　just　came　round　and　

gaped；　as　far　as　I　remember。〃



〃My　dear；　you　don't　know　what　Skatterly's　Hungarian　

imagination　mightn't　read　into　the　part；　it　would　be　

small　satisfaction　to　say　to　him　afterwards：　'You've　

behaved　as　no　Bull　of　Bashan　would　have　behaved。'　〃



〃Oh；　you're　an　alarmist；〃　said　Lady　Blonze；　I　

particularly　want　to　have　this　idea　carried　out。　　It　will　

be　sure　to　be　talked　about　a　lot。〃



〃That　is　quite　possible；〃　said　Sir　Nicholas。





*　*　*　*





Dinner　that　evening　was　not　a　particularly　lively　

affair；　the　strain　of　trying　to　impersonate　a　self…

imposed　character　or　to　glean　hints　of　identity　from　

other　people's　conduct　acted　as　a　check　on　the　natural　

festivity　of　such　a　gathering。　　There　was　a　general　

feeling　of　gratitude　and　acquiescence　when　good…natured　

Rachel　Klammerstein　suggested　that　there　should　be　an　

hour　or　two's　respite　from　〃the　game〃　while　they　all　

listened　to　a　little　piano…playing　after　dinner。　　

Rachel's　love　of　piano　music　was　not　indiscriminate；　and　

concentrated　itself　chiefly　on　selections　rendered　by　her　

idolised　offspring；　Moritz　and　Augusta；　who；　to　do　them　

justice；　played　remarkably　well。



The　Klammersteins　were　deservedly　popular　as　

Christmas　guests；　they　gave　expensive　gifts　lavishly　on　

Christmas　Day　and　New　Year；　and　Mrs。　Klammerstein　had　

already　dropped　hints　of　her　intention　to　present　the　

prize　for　the　best　enacted　character　in　the　game　

competition。　　Every　one　had　brightened　at　this　prospect；　

if　it　had　fallen　to　Lady　Blonze；　as　hostess；　to　provide　

the　prize；　she　would　have　considered　that　a　little　

souvenir　of　some　twenty　or　twenty…five　shillings'　value　

would　meet　the　case；　whereas　coming　from　a　Klammerstein　

source　it　would　certainly　run　to　several　guineas。



The　close　time　for　impersonation　efforts　came　to　an　

end　with　the　final　withdrawal　of　Moritz　and　Augusta　from　

the　piano。　　Blanche　Boveal　retired　early；　leaving　the　

room　in　a　series　of　laboured　leaps　that　she　hoped　might　

be　recognised　as　a　tolerable　imitation　of　Pavlova。　　Vera　

Durmot；　the　sixteen…year…old　flapper；　expressed　her　

confident　opinion　that　the　performance　was　intended　to　

typify　Mark　Twain's　famous　jumping　frog；　and　her　

diagnosis　of　the　case　found　general　acceptance。　　Another　

guest　to　set　an　example　of　early　bed…going　was　Waldo　

Plubley；　who　conducted　his　life　on　a　minutely　regulated　

system　of　time…tables　and　hygienic　routine。　　Waldo　was　a　

plump；　indolent　young　man　of　seven…and…twenty；　whose　

mother　had　early　in　his　life　decided　for　him　that　he　was　

unusually　delicate；　and　by　dint　of　much　coddling　and　

home…keeping　had　succeeded　in　making　him　physically　soft　

and　mentally　peevish。　　Nine　hours'　unbroken　sleep；　

preceded　by　elaborate　breathing　exercises　and　other　

hygienic　ritual；　was　among　the　indispensable　regulations　

which　Waldo　imposed　on　himself；　and　there　were　

innumerable　small　observances　which　he　exacted　from　those　

who　were　in　any　way　obliged　to　minister　to　his　

requirements；　a　special　teapot　for　the　decoction　of　his　

early　tea　was　always　solemnly　handed　over　to　the　bedroom　

staff　of　any　house　in　which　he　happened　to　be　staying。　　

No　one　had　ever　quite　mastered　the　mechanism　of　this　

precious　vessel；　but　Bertie　van　Tahn　was　responsible　for　

the　legend　that　its　spout　had　to　be　kept　facing　north　

during　the　process　of　infusion。



On　this　particular　night　the　irreducible　nine　hours　

were　s