madame bovary-第56章

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himself　at　having　surmounted　the　difficulty；　Leon　watched　her
face　out　of　the　corner　of　his　eyes。

It　was　like　the　sky　when　a　gust　of　wind　drives　the　clouds　across。
The　mass　of　sad　thoughts　that　darkened　them　seemed　to　be　lifted
from　her　blue　eyes；　her　whole　face　shone。　He　waited。　At　last　she
replied

〃I　always　suspected　it。〃

Then　they　went　over　all　the　trifling　events　of　that　far…off
existence；　whose　joys　and　sorrows　they　had　just　summed　up　in　one
word。　They　recalled　the　arbour　with　clematis；　the　dresses　she　had
worn；　the　furniture　of　her　room；　the　whole　of　her　house。

〃And　our　poor　cactuses；　where　are　they？〃

〃The　cold　killed　them　this　winter。〃

〃Ah！　how　I　have　thought　of　them；　do　you　know？　I　often　saw　them
again　as　of　yore；　when　on　the　summer　mornings　the　sun　beat　down
upon　your　blinds；　and　I　saw　your　two　bare　arms　passing　out
amongst　the　flowers。〃

〃Poor　friend！〃　she　said；　holding　out　her　hand　to　him。

Leon　swiftly　pressed　his　lips　to　it。　Then；　when　he　had　taken　a
deep　breath

〃At　that　time　you　were　to　me　I　know　not　what　incomprehensible
force　that　took　captive　my　life。　Once；　for　instance；　I　went　to
see　you；　but　you；　no　doubt；　do　not　remember　it。〃

〃I　do；〃　she　said；　〃go　on。〃

〃You　were　downstairs　in　the　ante…room；　ready　to　go　out；　standing
on　the　last　stair；　you　were　wearing　a　bonnet　with　small　blue
flowers；　and　without　any　invitation　from　you；　in　spite　of　myself；
I　went　with　you。　Every　moment；　however；　I　grew　more　and　more
conscious　of　my　folly；　and　I　went　on　walking　by　you；　not　daring
to　follow　you　completely；　and　unwilling　to　leave　you。　When　you
went　into　a　shop；　I　waited　in　the　street；　and　I　watched　you
through　the　window　taking　off　your　gloves　and　counting　the　change
on　the　counter。　Then　you　rang　at　Madame　Tuvache's；　you　were　let
in；　and　I　stood　like　an　idiot　in　front　of　the　great　heavy　door
that　had　closed　after　you。〃

Madame　Bovary；　as　she　listened　to　him；　wondered　that　she　was　so
old。　All　these　things　reappearing　before　her　seemed　to　widen　out
her　life；　it　was　like　some　sentimental　immensity　to　which　she
returned；　and　from　time　to　time　she　said　in　a　low　voice；　her　eyes
half　closed

〃Yes；　it　is　truetruetrue！〃

They　heard　eight　strike　on　the　different　clocks　of　the
Beauvoisine　quarter；　which　is　full　of　schools；　churches；　and
large　empty　hotels。　They　no　longer　spoke；　but　they　felt　as　they
looked　upon　each　other　a　buzzing　in　their　heads；　as　if　something
sonorous　had　escaped　from　the　fixed　eyes　of　each　of　them。　They
were　hand　in　hand　now；　and　the　past；　the　future；　reminiscences
and　dreams；　all　were　confounded　in　the　sweetness　of　this　ecstasy。
Night　was　darkening　over　the　walls；　on　which　still　shone；　half
hidden　in　the　shade；　the　coarse　colours　of　four　bills
representing　four　scenes　from　the　〃Tour　de　Nesle；〃　with　a　motto
in　Spanish　and　French　at　the　bottom。　Through　the　sash…window　a
patch　of　dark　sky　was　seen　between　the　pointed　roofs。

She　rose　to　light　two　wax…candles　on　the　drawers；　then　she　sat
down　again。

〃Well！〃　said　Leon。

〃Well！〃　she　replied。

He　was　thinking　how　to　resume　the　interrupted　conversation；　when
she　said　to　him

〃How　is　it　that　no　one　until　now　has　ever　expressed　such
sentiments　to　me？〃

The　clerk　said　that　ideal　natures　were　difficult　to　understand。
He　from　the　first　moment　had　loved　her；　and　he　despaired　when　he
thought　of　the　happiness　that　would　have　been　theirs；　if　thanks
to　fortune；　meeting　her　earlier；　they　had　been　indissolubly　bound
to　one　another。

〃I　have　sometimes　thought　of　it；〃　she　went　on。

〃What　a　dream！〃　murmured　Leon。　And　fingering　gently　the　blue
binding　of　her　long　white　sash；　he　added；　〃And　who　prevents　us
from　beginning　now？〃

〃No；　my　friend；〃　she　replied；　〃I　am　too　old；　you　are　too　young。
Forget　me！　Others　will　love　you；　you　will　love　them。〃

〃Not　as　you！〃　he　cried。

〃What　a　child　you　are！　Come；　let　us　be　sensible。　I　wish　it。〃

She　showed　him　the　impossibility　of　their　love；　and　that　they
must　remain；　as　formerly；　on　the　simple　terms　of　a　fraternal
friendship。

Was　she　speaking　thus　seriously？　No　doubt　Emma　did　not　herself
know；　quite　absorbed　as　she　was　by　the　charm　of　the　seduction；
and　the　necessity　of　defending　herself　from　it；　and　contemplating
the　young　man　with　a　moved　look；　she　gently　repulsed　the　timid
caresses　that　his　trembling　hands　attempted。

〃Ah！　forgive　me！〃　he　cried；　drawing　back。

Emma　was　seized　with　a　vague　fear　at　this　shyness；　more　dangerous
to　her　than　the　boldness　of　Rodolphe　when　he　advanced　to　her
open…armed。　No　man　had　ever　seemed　to　her　so　beautiful。　An
exquisite　candour　emanated　from　his　being。　He　lowered　his　long
fine　eyelashes；　that　curled　upwards。　His　cheek；　with　the　soft
skin　reddened；　she　thought；　with　desire　of　her　person；　and　Emma
felt　an　invincible　longing　to　press　her　lips　to　it。　Then；　leaning
towards　the　clock　as　if　to　see　the　time

〃Ah！　how　late　it　is！〃　she　said；　〃how　we　do　chatter！〃

He　understood　the　hint　and　took　up　his　hat。

〃It　has　even　made　me　forget　the　theatre。　And　poor　Bovary　has　left
me　here　especially　for　that。　Monsieur　Lormeaux；　of　the　Rue
Grand…Pont；　was　to　take　me　and　his　wife。〃

And　the　opportunity　was　lost；　as　she　was　to　leave　the　next　day。

〃Really！〃　said　Leon。

〃Yes。〃

〃But　I　must　see　you　again；〃　he　went　on。　〃I　wanted　to　tell　you〃

〃What？〃

〃Somethingimportantserious。　Oh；　no！　Besides；　you　will　not　go；
it　is　impossible。　If　you　shouldlisten　to　me。　Then　you　have　not
understood　me；　you　have　not　guessed〃

〃Yet　you　speak　plainly；〃　said　Emma。

〃Ah！　you　can　jest。　Enough！　enough！　Oh；　for　pity's　sake；　let　me
see　you　onceonly　once！〃

〃Well〃She　stopped；　then；　as　if　thinking　better　of　it；　〃Oh；　not
here！〃

〃Where　you　will。〃

〃Will　you〃She　seemed　to　reflect；　then　abruptly；　〃To…morrow　at
eleven　o'clock　in　the　cathedral。〃

〃I　shall　be　there；〃　he　cried；　seizing　her　hands；　which　she
disengaged。

And　as　they　were　both　standing　up；　he　behind　her；　and　Emma　with
her　head　bent；　he　stooped　over　her　and　pressed　long　kisses　on　her
neck。

〃You　are　mad！　Ah！　you　are　mad！〃　she　said；　with　sounding　little
laughs；　while　the　kisses　multiplied。

Then　bending　his　head　over　her　shoulder；　he　seemed　to　beg　the
consent　of　her　eyes。　They　fell　upon　him　full　of　an　icy　dignity。

Leon　stepped　back　to　go　out。　He　stopped　on　the　threshold；　then　he
whispered　with　a　trembling　voice；　〃Tomorrow！〃

She　answered　with　a　nod；　and　disappeared　like　a　bird　into　the
next　room。

In　the　evening　Emma　wrote　the　clerk　an　interminable　letter；　in
which　she　cancelled　the　rendezvous；　all　was　over；　they　must　not；
for　the　sake　of　their　happiness；　meet　again。　But　when　the　letter
was　finished；　as　she　did　not　know　Leon's　address；　she　was
puzzled。

〃I'll　give　it　to　him　myself；〃　she　said；　〃he　will　come。〃

The　next　morning；　at　the　open　window；　and　humming　on　his　balcony；
Leon　himself　varnished　his　pumps　with　several　coatings。　He　put　on
white　trousers；　fine　socks；　a　green　coat；　emptied　all　the　scent
he　had　into　his　handkerchief；　then　having　had　his　hair　curled；　he
uncurled　it　again；　in　order　to　give　it　a　more　natural　elegance。

〃It　is　still　too　early；〃　he　thought；　looking　at　the　hairdresser's
cuckoo…clock；　that　pointed　to　the　hour　of　nine。　He　read　an　old
fashion　journal；　went　out；　smoked　a　cigar；　walked　up　three
streets；　thought　it　was　time；　and　went　slowly　towards　the　porch
of　Notre　Dame。

It　was　a　beautiful　summer　morning。　Silver　plate　sparkled　in　the
jeweller's　windows；　and　the　light　falling　obliquely　on　the
cathedral　made　mirrors　of　the　corners　of　the　grey　stones；　a　flock
of　birds　fluttered　in　the　grey　sky　round　the　trefoil
bell…turrets；　the　square；　resounding　with　cries；　was　fragrant
with　the　flowers　that　bordered　its　pavement；　roses；　jasmines；
pinks；　narcissi；　and　tube…roses；　unevenly　spaced　out　between
moist　grasses；　catmint；　and　chickweed　for　the　birds；　the
fountains　gurgled　in　the　centre；　and　under　large　umbrellas；
amidst　melons；　piled　up　in　heaps；　flower…women；　bare…headed；　were
twisting　paper　round　bunches　of　violets。

The　young　man　took　one。　It　was　the　first　time　that　he　had　bought
flowers　for　a　woman；　and　his　breast；　as　he　smelt　them；　swelled
with　pride；　as　if　this　homage　that　he　meant　f