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第33章

the vicar of wakefield-第33章

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r; I continued with my natural solemnity to read on; sensible that what I did might amend some; but could itself receive no contamination from any。

After reading; I entered upon my exhortation; which was rather calculated at first to amuse them than to reprove。 I previously observed; that no other motive but their welfare could induce me to this; that I was their fellow prisoner; and now got nothing by preaching。 I was sorry; I said; to hear them so very prophane; because they got nothing by it; but might lose a great deal: 'For be assured; my friends;' cried I; 'for you are my friends; however the world may disclaim your friendship; though you swore twelve thousand oaths in a day; it would not put one penny in your purse。 Then what signifies calling every moment upon the devil; and courting his friendship; since you find how scurvily he uses you。 He has given you nothing here; you find; but a mouthful of oaths and an empty belly; and by the best accounts I have of him; he will give you nothing that's good hereafter。

'If used ill in our dealings with one man; we naturally go elsewhere。 Were it not worth your while then; just to try how you may like the usage of another master; who gives you fair promises at least to come to him。 Surely; my Friends; of all stupidity in the world; his must be greatest; who; after robbing an house; runs to the thieftakers for protection。 And yet how are you more wise? You are all seeking comfort from one that has already betrayed you; applying to a more malicious being than any thieftaker of them all; for they only decoy; and then hang you; but he decoys and hangs; and what is worst of all; will not let you loose after the hangman has done。'

When I had concluded; I received the compliments of my audience; some of whom came and shook me by the hand; swearing that I was a very honest fellow; and that they desired my further acquaintance。 I therefore promised to repeat my lecture next day; and actually conceived some hopes of making a reformation here; for it had ever been my opinion; that no man was past the hour of amendment; every heart lying open to the shafts of reproof; if the archer could but take a proper aim。 When I had thus satisfied my mind; I went back to my apartment; where my wife had prepared a frugal meal; while Mr Jenkinson begged leave to add his dinner to ours; and partake of the pleasure; as he was kind enough to express it of my conversation。 He had not yet seen my family; for as they came to my apartment by a door in the narrow passage; already described; by this means they avoided the common prison。 Jenkinson at the first interview therefore seemed not a little struck with the beauty of my youngest daughter; which her pensive air contributed to heighten; and my little ones did not pass unnoticed。

'Alas; Doctor;' cried he; 'these children are too handsome and too good for such a place as this!'

Why; Mr Jenkinson'; replied I; 'thank heaven my children are pretty tolerable in morals; and if they be good; it matters little for the rest。'

'I fancy; sir;' returned my fellow prisoner; 'that it must give you great comfort to have this little family about you。'

'A comfort; Mr Jenkinson;' replied I; 'yes it is indeed a comfort; and I would not be without them for all the world; for they can make a dungeon seem a palace。 There is but one way in this life of wounding my happiness; and that is by injuring them。'

'I am afraid then; sir;' cried he; 'that I am in some measure culpable; for I think I see here (looking at my son Moses) one that I have injured; and by whom I wish to be forgiven。'

My son immediately recollected his voice and features; though he had before seen him in disguise; and taking him by the hand; with a smile forgave him。 'Yet;' continued he; 'I can't help wondering at what you could see in my face; to think me a proper mark for deception。'

'My dear sir;' returned the other; 'it was not your face; but your white stockings and the black ribband in your hair; that allured me。 But no disparagement to your parts; I have deceived wiser men than you in my time; and yet; with all my tricks; the blockheads have been too many for me at last。'

'I suppose;' cried my son; 'that the narrative of such a life as yours must be extremely instructive and amusing。'

'Not much of either;' returned Mr Jenkinson。 'Those relations which describe the tricks and vices only of mankind; by increasing our suspicion in life; retard our success。 The traveller that distrusts every person he meets; and turns back upon the appearance of every man that looks like a robber; seldom arrives in time at his journey's end。

'Indeed I think from my own experience; that the knowing one is the silliest fellow under the sun。 I was thought cunning from my very childhood; when but seven years old the ladies would say that I was a perfect little man; at fourteen I knew the world; cocked my hat; and loved the ladies; at twenty; though I was perfectly honest; yet every one thought me so cunning; that not one would trust me。 Thus I was at last obliged to turn sharper in my own defence; and have lived ever since; my head throbbing with schemes to deceive; and my heart palpitating with fears of detection。

'I used often to laugh at your honest simple neighbour Flamborough; and one way or another generally cheated him once a year。 Yet still the honest man went forward without suspicion; and grew rich; while I still continued tricksy and cunning; and was poor; without the consolation of being honest。

'However;' continued he; 'let me know your case; and what has brought you here; perhaps though I have not skill to avoid a gaol myself; I may extricate my friends。'

In compliance with his curiosity; I informed him of the whole train of accidents and follies that had plunged me into my present troubles; and my utter inability to get free。

After hearing my story; and pausing some minutes; he slapt his forehead; as if he had hit upon something material; and took his leave; saying he would try what could be done。



CHAPTER 27

The same subject continued


The next morning I communicated to my wife and children the scheme I had planned of reforming the prisoners; which they received with universal disapprobation; alledging the impossibility and impropriety of it; adding; that my endeavours would no way contribute to their amendment; but might probably disgrace my calling。

'Excuse me;' returned I; 'these people; however fallen; are still men; and that is a very good title to my affections。 Good council rejected returns to enrich the giver's bosom; and though the instruction I communicate may not mend them; yet it will assuredly mend myself。 If these wretches; my children; were princes; there would be thousands ready to offer their ministry; but; in my opinion; the heart that is buried in a dungeon is as precious as that seated upon a throne。 Yes; my treasures; if I can mend them I will; perhaps they will not all despise me。 Perhaps I may catch up even one from the gulph; and; that will be great gain; for is there upon earth a gem so precious as the human soul?'

Thus saying; I left them; and descended to the common prison; where I found the prisoners very merry; expecting my arrival; and each prepared with some gaol trick to play upon the doctor。 Thus; as I was going to begin; one turned my wig awry; as if by accident; and then asked my pardon。 A second; who stood at some distance; had a knack of spitting through his teeth; which fell in showers upon my book。 A third would cry amen in such an affected tone as gave the rest great delight。 A fourth had slily picked my pocket of my spectacles。 But there was one whose trick gave more universal pleasure than all the rest; for observing the manner in which I had disposed my books on the table before me; he very dextrously displaced one of them; and put an obscene jest…book of his own in the place。 However I took no notice of all that this mischievous groupe of little beings could do; but went on; perfectly sensible that what was ridiculous in my attempt; would excite mirth only the first or second time; while what was serious would be permanent。 My design succeeded; and in less than six days some were penitent; and all attentive。

It 

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