the author of beltraffio-第6章

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or　four　of　his　professionshe　made　me　occasionally　gasp　and　stare。
He　couldn't　help　forgetting；　or　rather　couldn't　know；　how　little；　in
another　and　drier　clime；　I　had　ever　sat　in　the　school　in　which　he　was
master；　and　he　promoted　me　as　at　a　jump　to　a　sense　of　its　penetralia。
My　trepidations；　however；　were　delightful；　they　were　just　what　I　had
hoped　for；　and　their　only　fault　was　that　they　passed　away　too
quickly；　since　I　found　that　for　the　main　points　I　was　essentially；　I
was　quite　constitutionally；　on　Mark　Ambient's　〃side。〃　　This　was　the
taken　stand　of　the　artist　to　whom　every　manifestation　of　human　energy
was　a　thrilling　spectacle　and　who　felt　for　ever　the　desire　to　resolve
his　experience　of　life　into　a　literary　form。　　On　that　high　head　of
the　passion　for　form　the　attempt　at　perfection；　the　quest　for　which
was　to　his　mind　the　real　search　for　the　holy　grailhe　said　the　most
interesting；　the　most　inspiring　things。　　He　mixed　with　them　a
thousand　illustrations　from　his　own　life；　from　other　lives　he　had
known；　from　history　and　fiction；　and　above　all　from　the　annals　of　the
time　that　was　dear　to　him　beyond　all　periods；　the　Italian　cinque…
cento。　　It　came　to　me　thus　that　in　his　books　he　had　uttered　but　half
his　thought；　and　that　what　he　had　kept　back　from　motives　I　deplored
when　I　made　them　out　laterwas　the　finer　and　braver　part。　　It　was
his　fate　to　make　a　great　many　still　more　〃prepared〃　people　than　me
not　inconsiderably　wince；　but　there　was　no　grain　of　bravado　in　his
ripest　things　（I've　always　maintained　it；　though　often　contradicted）；
and　at　bottom　the　poor　fellow；　disinterested　to　his　finger…tips　and
regarding　imperfection　not　only　as　an　aesthetic　but　quite　also　as　a
social　crime；　had　an　extreme　dread　of　scandal。　　There　are　critics　who
regret　that　having　gone　so　far　he　didn't　go　further；　but　I　regret
nothingputting　aside　two　or　three　of　the　motives　I　just　mentioned
since　he　arrived　at　a　noble　rarity　and　I　don't　see　how　you　can　go
beyond　that。　　The　hours　I　spent　in　his　studythis　first　one　and　the
few　that　followed　it；　they　were　not；　after　all；　so　numerousseem　to
glow；　as　I　look　back　on　them；　with　a　tone　that　is　partly　that　of　the
brown　old　room；　rich；　under　the　shaded　candle…light　where　we　sat　and
smoked；　with　the　dusky　delicate　bindings　of　valuable　books；　partly
that　of　his　voice；　of　which　I　still　catch　the　echo；　charged　with　the
fancies　and　figures　that　came　at　his　command。　　When　we　went　back　to
the　drawing…room　we　found　Miss　Ambient　alone　in　possession　and　prompt
to　mention　that　her　sister…in…law　had　a　quarter　of　an　hour　before
been　called　by　the　nurse　to　see　the　child；　who　appeared　rather
unwella　little　feverish。

〃Feverish！　how　in　the　world　comes　he　to　be　feverish？〃　Ambient　asked。
〃He　was　perfectly　right　this　afternoon。〃

〃Beatrice　says　you　walked　him　about　too　muchyou　almost　killed　him。〃

〃Beatrice　must　be　very　happyshe　has　an　opportunity　to　triumph！〃
said　my　friend　with　a　bright　bitterness　which　was　all　I　could　have
wished　it。

〃Surely　not　if　the　child's　ill；〃　I　ventured　to　remark　by　way　of
pleading　for　Mrs。　Ambient。

〃My　dear　fellow；　you　aren't　marriedyou　don't　know　the　nature　of
wives！〃　my　host　returned　with　spirit。

I　tried　to　match　it。　　〃Possibly　not；　but　I　know　the　nature　of
mothers。〃

〃Beatrice　is　perfect　as　a　mother；〃　sighed　Miss　Ambient　quite
tremendously　and　with　her　fingers　interlaced　on　her　embroidered
knees。

〃I　shall　go　up　and　see　my　boy；〃　her　brother　went　on。〃　　Do　you　suppose
he's　asleep？〃

〃Beatrice　won't　let　you　see　him；　dear〃as　to　which　our　young　lady
looked　at　me；　though　addressing　our　companion。

〃Do　you　call　that　being　perfect　as　a　mother？〃　Ambient　asked。

〃Yes；　from　her　point　of　view。〃

〃Damn　her　point　of　view！〃　cried　the　author　of　〃Beltraffio。〃　　And　he
left　the　room；　after　which　we　heard　him　ascend　the　stairs。

I　sat　there　for　some　ten　minutes　with　Miss　Ambient；　and　we　naturally
had　some　exchange　of　remarks；　which　began；　I　think；　by　my　asking　her
what　the　point　of　view　of　her　sister…in…law　could　be。

〃Oh　it's　so　very　odd。　　But　we're　so　very　odd　altogether。　　Don't　you
find　us　awfully　unlike　others　of　our　class？which　indeed　mostly；　in
England；　is　awful。　　We've　lived　so　much　abroad。　　I　adore　'abroad。'
Have　you　people　like　us　in　America？〃

〃You're　not　all　alike；　you　interesting　threeor；　counting　Dolcino；
foursurely；　surely；　so　that　I　don't　think　I　understand　your
question。　　We've　no　one　like　your　brotherI　may　go　so　far　as　that。〃

〃You've　probably　more　persons　like　his　wife；〃　Miss　Ambient　desolately
smiled。

〃I　can　tell　you　that　better　when　you've　told　me　about　her　point　of
view。〃

〃Oh　yesoh　yes。　　Well；〃　said　my　entertainer；　〃she　doesn't　like　his
ideas。　　She　doesn't　like　them　for　the　child。　　She　thinks　them
undesirable。〃

Being　quite　fresh　from　the　contemplation　of　some　of　Mark　Ambient's
arcana　I　was　particularly　in　a　position　to　appreciate　this
announcement。　　But　the　effect　of　it　was　to　make　me；　after　staring　a
moment；　burst　into　laughter　which　I　instantly　checked　when　I
remembered　the　indisposed　child　above　and　the　possibility　of　parents
nervously　or　fussily　anxious。

〃What　has　that　infant　to　do　with　ideas？〃　I　asked。　　〃Surely　he　can't
tell　one　from　another。　　Has　he　read　his　father's　novels？〃

〃He's　very　precocious　and　very　sensitive；　and　his　mother　thinks　she
can't　begin　to　guard　him　too　early。〃　　Miss　Ambient's　head　drooped　a
little　to　one　side　and　her　eyes　fixed　themselves　on　futurity。　　Then
of　a　sudden　came　a　strange　alteration；　her　face　lighted　to　an　effect
more　joyless　than　any　gloom；　to　that　indeed　of　a　conscious　insincere
grimace；　and　she　added　〃When　one　has　children　what　one　writes　becomes
a　great　responsibility。〃

〃Children　are　terrible　critics；〃　I　prosaically　answered。　　〃I'm　really
glad　I　haven't　any。〃

〃Do　you　also　write；　then？　　And　in　the　same　style　as　my　brother？　　And
do　you　like　that　style？　　And　do　people　appreciate　it　in　America？　　I
don't　write；　but　I　think　I　feel。〃　　To　these　and　various　other
inquiries　and　observations　my　young　lady　treated　me　till　we　heard　her
brother's　step　in　the　hall　again　and　Mark　Ambient　reappeared。　　He　was
so　flushed　and　grave　that　I　supposed　he　had　seen　something
symptomatic　in　the　condition　of　his　child。　　His　sister　apparently　had
another　idea；　she　gazed　at　him　from　afaras　if　he　had　been　a　burning
ship　on　the　horizonand　simply　murmured　〃Poor　old　Mark！〃

〃I　hope　you're　not　anxious；〃　I　as　promptly　pronounced。

〃No；　but　I'm　disappointed。　　She　won't　let　me　in。　　She　has　locked　the
door；　and　I'm　afraid　to　make　a　noise。〃　　I　daresay　there　might　have
been　a　touch　of　the　ridiculous　in　such　a　confession；　but　I　liked　my
new　friend　so　much　that　it　took　nothing　for　me　from　his　dignity。
〃She　tells　mefrom　behind　the　doorthat　she'll　let　me　know　if　he's
worse。〃

〃It's　very　good　of　her；〃　said　Miss　Ambient　with　a　hollow　sound。

I　had　exchanged　a　glance　with　Mark　in　which　it's　possible　he　read
that　my　pity　for　him　was　untinged　with　contempt；　though　I　scarce　know
why　he　should　have　cared；　and　as　his　sister　soon　afterward　got　up　and
took　her　bedroom　candlestick　he　proposed　we　should　go　back　to　his
study。　　We　sat　there　till　after　midnight；　he　put　himself　into　his
slippers　and　an　old　velvet　jacket；　he　lighted　an　ancient　pipe；　but　he
talked　considerably　less　than　before。　　There　were　longish　pauses　in
our　communion；　but　they　only　made　me　feel　we　had　advanced　in
intimacy。　　They　helped　me　further　to　understand　my　friend's　personal
situation　and　to　imagine　it　by　no　means　the　happiest　possible。　　When
his　face　was　quiet　it　was　vaguely　troubled；　showing；　to　my　increase
of　interestif　that　was　all　that　was　wanted！that　for　him　too　life
was　the　same　struggle　it　had　been　for　so　many　another　man　of　genius。
At　last　I　prepared　to　leave　him；　and　then；　to　my　ineffable　joy；　he
gave　me　some　of　the　sheets　of　his　forthcoming　bookwhich；　though
unfinished；　he　had　indulged　in　the　luxury；　so　dear　to　writers　of
deliberation；　of　having　〃set　up；〃　from　chapter　to　chapter；　as　he
advanced。　　These　early　pages；　the　premices；　in　the　language　of
letters；　of　that　new　fruit　of　his　imagination；　I　should　take　to　my
room　and　look　over　at　my　leisure。　　I　was　in　the　act　of　leaving　him