john bull on the guadalquivir-第4章

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words　that　feeling　with　which　our　hearts　are　so　pestered　when　we　are
young；　which　makes　us　sigh　for　we　know　not　what；　and　forbids　us　to　be
contented　with　what　God　sends　us。　　We　invest　female　beauty　with
impossible　attributes；　and　are　angry　because　our　women　have　not　the
spiritualised　souls　of　angels；　anxious　as　we　are　that　they　should
also　be　human　in　the　flesh。　　A　man　looks　at　her　he　would　love　as　at　a
distant　landscape　in　a　mountainous　land。　　The　peaks　are　glorious　with
more　than　the　beauty　of　earth　and　rock　and　vegetation。　　He　dreams　of
some　mysterious　grandeur　of　design　which　tempts　him　on　under　the　hot
sun；　and　over　the　sharp　rock；　till　he　has　reached　the　mountain　goal
which　he　had　set　before　him。　　But　when　there；　he　finds　that　the
beauty　is　well…nigh　gone；　and　as　for　that　delicious　mystery　on　which
his　soul　had　fed；　it　has　vanished　for　ever。

I　know　all　about　it　now；　and　am；　as　I　said；　content。　　Beneath　those
deep　black　eyes　there　lay　a　well　of　love；　good；　honest；　homely　love；
love　of　father　and　husband　and　children　that　were　to　comeof　that
love　which　loves　to　see　the　loved　ones　prospering　in　honesty。　　That
noble　browfor　it　is　noble；　I　am　unchanged　in　that　opinion；　and　will
go　unchanged　to　my　gravecovers　thoughts　as　to　the　welfare　of　many；
and　an　intellect　fitted　to　the　management　of　a　household；　of
servants；　namely；　and　children；　and　perchance　a　husband。　　That　mouth
can　speak　words　of　wisdom；　of　very　useful　wisdomthough　of　poetry　it
has　latterly　uttered　little　that　was　original。　　Poetry　and　romance！
They　are　splendid　mountain　views　seen　in　the　distance。　　So　let　men　be
content　to　see　them；　and　not　attempt　to　tread　upon　the　fallacious
heather　of　the　mystic　hills。

In　the　first　week　of　my　sojourn　in　Seville　I　spoke　no　word　of　overt
love　to　Maria；　thinking；　as　I　confess；　to　induce　her　thereby　to　alter
her　mode　of　conduct　to　myself。　　〃She　knows　that　I　have　come　here　to
make　love　to　herto　repeat　my　offer；　and　she　will　at　any　rate　be
chagrined　if　I　am　slow　to　do　so。〃　　But　it　had　no　effect。　　At　home　my
mother　was　rather　particular　about　her　table；　and　Maria's　greatest
efforts　seemed　to　be　used　in　giving　me　as　nice　dinners　as　we　gave
her。　　In　those　days　I　did　not　care　a　straw　about　my　dinner；　and　so　I
took　an　opportunity　of　telling　her。　　〃Dear　me；〃　said　she；　looking　at
me　almost　with　grief；　〃do　you　not？　　What　a　pity！　　And　do　you　not　like
music　either。〃　　〃Oh；　yes；　I　adore　it；〃　I　replied。　　I　felt　sure　at　the
time　that　had　I　been　born　in　her　own　sunny　clime；　she　would　never
have　talked　to　me　about　eating。　　But　that　was　my　mistake。

I　used　to　walk　out　with　her　about　the　city；　seeing　all　that　is　there
of　beauty　and　magnificence。　　And　in　what　city　is　there　more　that　is
worth　the　seeing？　　At　first　this　was　very　delightful　to　me；　for　I
felt　that　I　was　blessed　with　a　privilege　that　would　not　be　granted　to
any　other　man。　　But　its　value　soon　fell　in　my　eyes；　for　others　would
accost　her；　and　walk　on　the　other　side；　talking　to　her　in　Spanish；　as
though　I　hardly　existed；　or　were　a　servant　there　for　her　protection。
And　I　was　not　allowed　to　take　her　arm；　and　thus　to　appropriate　her；
as　I　should　have　done　in　England。　　〃No；　John；〃　she　said；　with　the
sweetest；　prettiest　smile；　〃we　don't　do　that　here；　only　when　people
are　married。〃　　And　she　made　this　allusion　to　married　life　out；
openly；　with　no　slightest　tremor　on　her　tongue。

〃Oh；　I　beg　pardon；〃　said　I；　drawing　back　my　hand；　and　feeling　angry
with　myself　for　not　being　fully　acquainted　with　all　the　customs　of　a
foreign　country。

〃You　need　not　beg　pardon；〃　said　she；　〃when　we　were　in　England　we
always　walked　so。　　It　is　just　a　custom；　you　know。〃　　And　then　I　saw
her　drop　her　large　dark　eyes　to　the　ground；　and　bow　gracefully　in
answer　to　some　salute。

I　looked　round；　and　saw　that　we　had　been　joined　by　a　young　cavalier；…
…a　Spanish　nobleman；　as　I　saw　at　once；　a　man　with　jet　black　hair；　and
a　straight　nose；　and　a　black　moustache；　and　patent　leather　boots；
very　slim　and　very　tall；　andthough　I　would　not　confess　it　then
uncommonly　handsome。　　I　myself　am　inclined　to　be　stout；　my　hair　is
light；　my　nose　broad；　I　have　no　hair　on　my　upper　lip；　and　my　whiskers
are　rough　and　uneven。　　〃I　could　punch　your　head　though；　my　fine
fellow；〃　said　I　to　myself；　when　I　saw　that　he　placed　himself　at
Maria's　side；　〃and　think　very　little　of　the　achievement。〃

The　wretch　went　on　with　us　round　the　plaza　for　some　quarter　of　an
hour　talking　Spanish　with　the　greatest　fluency；　and　she　was　every
whit　as　fluent。　　Of　course　I　could　not　understand　a　word　that　they
said。　　Of　all　positions　that　a　man　can　occupy；　I　think　that　that　is
about　the　most　uncomfortable；　and　I　cannot　say　that；　even　up　to　this
day；　I　have　quite　forgiven　her　for　that　quarter　of　an　hour。

〃I　shall　go　in；〃　said　I；　unable　to　bear　my　feelings；　and　preparing　to
leave　her。　　〃The　heat　is　unendurable。〃

〃Oh　dear；　John；　why　did　you　not　speak　before？〃　she　answered。　　〃You
cannot　leave　me　here；　you　know；　as　I　am　in　your　charge；　but　I　will　go
with　you　almost　directly。〃　　And　then　she　finished　her　conversation
with　the　Spaniard；　speaking　with　an　animation　she　had　never　displayed
in　her　conversations　with　me。

It　had　been　agreed　between　us　for　two　or　three　days　before　this；　that
we　were　to　rise　early　on　the　following　morning　for　the　sake　of
ascending　the　tower　of　the　cathedral；　and　visiting　the　Giralda；　as
the　iron　figure　is　called；　which　turns　upon　a　pivot　on　the　extreme
summit。　　We　had　often　wandered　together　up　and　down　the　long　dark
gloomy　aisle　of　the　stupendous　building；　and　had；　together；　seen　its
treasury　of　art；　but　as　yet　we　had　not　performed　the　task　which　has
to　be　achieved　by　all　visitors　to　Seville；　and　in　order　that　we　might
have　a　clear　view　over　the　surrounding　country；　and　not　be　tormented
by　the　heat　of　an　advanced　sun；　we　had　settled　that　we　would　ascend
the　Giralda　before　breakfast。

And　now；　as　I　walked　away　from　the　plaza　towards　Mr。　Daguilar's
house；　with　Maria　by　my　side；　I　made　up　my　mind　that　I　would　settle
my　business　during　this　visit　to　the　cathedral。　　Yes；　and　I　would　so
manage　the　settlement　that　there　should　be　no　doubt　left　as　to　my
intentions　and　my　own　ideas。　　I　would　not　be　guilty　of　shilly…shally
conduct；　I　would　tell　her　frankly　what　I　felt　and　what　I　thought；　and
would　make　her　understand　that　I　did　not　desire　her　hand　if　I　could
not　have　her　heart。　　I　did　not　value　the　kindness　of　her　manner；
seeing　that　that　kindness　sprung　from　indifference　rather　than
passion；　and　so　I　would　declare　to　her。　　And　I　would　ask　her；　also；
who　was　this　young　man　with　whom　she　was　intimatefor　whom　all　her
volubility　and　energy　of　tone　seemed　to　be　employed？　　She　had　told　me
once　that　it　behoved　her　to　consult　a　friend　in　Seville　as　to　the
expediency　of　her　marriage　with　me。　　Was　this　the　friend　whom　she　had
wished　to　consult？　　If　so；　she　need　not　trouble　herself。　　Under　such
circumstances　I　should　decline　the　connection！　　And　I　resolved　that　I
would　find　out　how　this　might　be。　　A　man　who　proposes　to　take　a　woman
to　his　bosom　as　his　wife；　has　a　right　to　ask　for　informationay；　and
to　receive　it　too。　　It　flashed　upon　my　mind　at　this　moment　that　Donna
Maria　was　well　enough　inclined　to　come　to　me　as　my　wife；　but　。　　I
could　hardly　define　the　〃buts〃　to　myself；　for　there　were　three　or
four　of　them。　　Why　did　she　always　speak　to　me　in　a　tone　of　childish
affection；　as　though　I　were　a　schoolboy　home　for　the　holidays？　　I
would　have　all　this　out　with　her　on　the　tower　on　the　following
morning；　standing　under　the　Giralda。

On　that　morning　we　met　together　in　the　patio；　soon　after　five
o'clock；　and　started　for　the　cathedral。　　She　looked　beautiful；　with
her　black　mantilla　over　her　head；　and　with　black　gloves　on；　and　her
black　morning　silk　dressbeautiful；　composed；　and　at　her　ease；　as
though　she　were　well　satisfied　to　undertake　this　early　morning　walk
from　feelings　of　good　naturesustained；　probably；　by　some　under…
current　of　a　deeper　sentiment。　　Well；　I　would　know　all　about　it
before　I　returned　to　her　father's　house。

There　hardly　stands；　as　I　think；　on　the　earth；　a　building　more
remarkable　than　the　cathedral　of　Seville；　and　hardly　one　more　grand。
Its　en