youth-第14章

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increased　it。　Dimitri　suddenly　reverted　to　the　kindly　mood　which

I　loved　bestso　great　（as　I　afterwards　remarked　on　more　than　one

occasion）　was　the　influence　which　the　consciousness　of　having

done　a　good　deed　exercised　upon　him。　At　the　present　moment　the

source　of　his　satisfaction　was　the　fact　that　he　had　stopped　my

expedition　to　〃Auntie's。〃　He　grew　extraordinarily　gay；　called　for

another　bottle　of　champagne　（which　was　against　his　rules）；

invited　some　one　who　was　a　perfect　stranger　into　our　room；　plied

him　with　wine；　sang　〃Gaudeamus　igitur；〃　requested　every　one　to

join　him　in　the　chorus；　and　proposed　that　we　should　and　rink　at

the　Sokolniki。　＇Mews。＇



〃Let　us　enjoy　ourselves　to…night；〃　he　said　with　a　laugh。　〃It　is

in　honour　of　his　matriculation　that　you　now　see　me　getting　drunk

for　the　first　time　in　my　life。〃



Yet　somehow　this　merriment　sat　ill　upon　him。　He　was　like　some

good…natured　father　or　tutor　who　is　pleased　with　his　young

charges；　and　lets　himself　go　for　their　amusement；　yet　at　the　same

time　tries　to　show　them　that　one　can　enjoy　oneself　decently　and

in　an　honourable　manner。　However；　his　unexpected　gaiety　had　an

infectious　influence　upon　myself　and　my　companions；　and　the　more

so　because　each　of　us　had　now　drunk　about　half　a　bottle　of

champagne。



It　was　in　this　pleasing　frame　of　mind　that　I　went　out　into　the

main　salon　to　smoke　a　cigarette　which　Dubkoff　had　given　me。　In

rising　I　noticed　that　my　head　seemed　to　swim　a　little；　and　that

my　legs　and　arms　retained　their　natural　positions　only　when　I

bent　my　thoughts　determinedly　upon　them。　At　other　moments　my　legs

would　deviate　from　the　straight　line；　and　my　arms　describe

strange　gestures。　I　concentrated　my　whole　attention　upon　the

members　in　question；　forced　my　hands　first　to　raise　themselves

and　button　my　tunic；　and　then　to　smooth　my　hair　（though　they

ruffled　my　locks　in　doing　so）；　and　lastly　commanded　my　legs　to

march　me　to　the　doora　function　which　they　duly　performed；

though　at　one　time　with　too　much　reluctance；　and　at　another　with

too　much　ABANDON　（the　left　leg；　in　particular；　coming　to　a　halt

every　moment　on　tiptoe）。　Some　one　called　out　to　me；　〃Where　are

you　going　to？　They　will　bring　you　a　cigar…light　directly；〃　but　I

guessed　the　voice　to　be　Woloda's；　and；　feeling　satisfied；

somehow；　that　I　had　succeeded　in　divining　the　fact；　merely　smiled

airily　in　reply；　and　continued　on　my　way。



XVI



THE　QUARREL



In　the　main　salon　I　perceived　sitting　at　a　small　table　a　short；

squat　gentleman　of　the　professional　type。　He　had　a　red　moustache；

and　was　engaged　in　eating　something　or　another；　while　by　his　side

sat　a　tall；　clean…shaven　individual　with　whom　he　was　carrying　on

a　conversation　in　French。　Somehow　the　aspect　of　these　two　persons

displeased　me；　yet　I　decided；　for　all　that；　to　light　my　cigarette

at　the　candelabrum　which　was　standing　before　them。　Looking　from

side　to　side；　to　avoid　meeting　their　gaze；　I　approached　the

table；　and　applied　my　cigarette　to　the　flame。　When　it　was　fairly

alight；　I　involuntarily　threw　a　glance　at　the　gentleman　who　was

eating；　and　found　his　grey　eyes　fixed　upon　me　with　an　expression

of　intense　displeasure。　Just　as　I　was　turning　away　his　red

moustache　moved　a　little；　and　he　said　in　French：



〃I　do　not　like　people　to　smoke　when　I　am　dining；　my　good　sir。〃



I　murmured　something　inaudible。



〃No；　I　do　not　like　it　at　all；〃　he　went　on　sternly；　and　with　a

glance　at　his　clean…shaven　companion；　as　though　inviting　him　to

admire　the　way　in　which　he　was　about　to　deal　with　me。　〃I　do　not

like　it；　my　good　sir；　nor　do　I　like　people　who　have　the　impudence

to　puff　their　smoke　up　one's　very　nose。〃



By　this　time　I　had　gathered　that　it　was　myself　he　was　scolding；

and　at　first　felt　as　though　I　had　been　altogether　in　the　wrong；



〃I　did　not　mean　to　inconvenience　you；〃　I　said。



〃Well；　if　you　did　not　suppose　you　were　being　impertinent；　at

least　I　did！　You　are　a　cad；　young　sir！〃　he　shouted　in　reply。



〃But　what　right　have　you　to　shout　at　me　like　that？〃　I　exclaimed；

feeling　that　it　was　now　HE　that　was　insulting　ME；　and　growing

angry　accordingly。



〃This　much　right；〃　he　replied；　〃that　I　never　allow　myself　to　be

overlooked　by　any　one；　and　that　I　always　teach　young　fellows　like

yourself　their　manners。　What　is　your　name；　young　sir；　and　where

do　you　live？〃



At　this　I　felt　so　hurt　that　my　teeth　chattered；　and　I　felt　as

though　I　were　choking。　Yet　all　the　while　I　was　conscious　of　being

in　the　wrong；　and　so；　instead　of　offering　any　further　rudeness　to

the　offended　one；　humbly　told　him　my　name　and　address。



〃And　MY　name；　young　sir；〃　he　returned；　〃is　Kolpikoff；　and　I　will

trouble　you　to　be　more　polite　to　me　in　future。However；　You　will

hear　from　me　again〃　（〃vous　aurez　de　mes　nouvelles〃the

conversation　had　been　carried　on　wholly　in　French）；　was　his

concluding　remark。



To　this　I　replied；　〃I　shall　be　delighted；〃　with　an　infusion　of　as

much　hauteur　as　I　could　muster　into　my　tone。　Then；　turning　on　my

heel；　I　returned　with　my　cigarettewhich　had　meanwhile　gone　out

to　our　own　room。



I　said　nothing；　either　to　my　brother　or　my　friends；　about　what

had　happened　（and　the　more　so　because　they　were　at　that　moment

engaged　in　a　dispute　of　their　own）；　but　sat　down　in　a　corner　to

think　over　the　strange　affair。　The　words；　〃You　are　a　cad；　young

sir；〃　vexed　me　more　and　more　the　longer　that　they　sounded　in　my

ears。　My　tipsiness　was　gone　now；　and；　in　considering　my　conduct

during　the　dispute；　the　uncomfortable　thought　came　over　me　that　I

had　behaved　like　a　coward。



〃Yet　what　right　had　he　to　attack　me？〃　I　reflected。　〃Why　did　he

not　simply　intimate　to　me　that　I　was　annoying　him？　After　all；　it

may　have　been　he　that　was　in　the　wrong。　Why；　too；　when　he　called

me　a　young　cad；　did　I　not　say　to　him；　'A　cad；　my　good　sir；　is　one

who　takes　offence'？　Or　why　did　I　not　simply　tell　him　to　hold　his

tongue？　That　would　have　been　the　better　course。　Or　why　did　I　not

challenge　him　to　a　duel？　No；　I　did　none　of　those　things；　but

swallowed　his　insults　like　a　wretched　coward。〃



Still　the　words；　〃You　are　a　cad；　young　sir；〃　kept　sounding　in　my

ears　with　maddening　iteration。　〃I　cannot　leave　things　as　they

are；〃　I　at　length　decided　as　I　rose　to　my　feet　with　the　fixed

intention　of　returning　to　the　gentleman　and　saying　something

outrageous　to　himperhaps；　also；　of　breaking　the　candelabrum

over　his　head　if　occasion　offered。　Yet；　though　I　considered　the

advisability　of　this　last　measure　with　some　pleasure；　it　was　not

without　a　good　deal　of　trepidation　that　I　re…entered　the　main

salon。　As　luck　would　have　it；　M。　Kolpikoff　was　no　longer　there；

but　only　a　waiter　engaged　in　clearing　the　table。　For　a　moment　I

felt　like　telling　the　waiter　the　whole　story；　and　explaining　to

him　my　innocence　in　the　matter；　but　for　some　reason　or　another　I

thought　better　of　it；　and　once　more　returned；　in　the　same　hazy

condition　of　mind；　to　our　own　room。



〃What　has　become　of　our　DIPLOMAT？〃　Dubkoff　was　just　saying。　〃Upon

him　now　hang　the　fortunes　of　Europe。〃



〃Oh；　leave　me　alone；〃　I　said；　turning　moodily　away。　Then；　as　I

paced　the　room；　something　made　me　begin　to　think　that　Dubkoff　was

not　altogether　a　good　fellow。　〃There　is　nothing　very　much　to

admire　in　his　eternal　jokes　and　his　nickname　of　'DIPLOMAT；'〃　I

reflected。　〃All　he　thinks　about　is　to　win　money　from　Woloda　and

to　go　and　see　his　'Auntie。'　There　is　nothing　very　nice　in　all

that。　Besides；　everything　he　says　has　a　touch　of　blackguardism　in

it；　and　he　is　forever　trying　to　make　people　laugh。　In　my　opinion

he　is　simply　stupid　when　he　is　not　absolutely　a　brute。〃　I　spent

about　five　minutes　in　these　reflections；　and　felt　my　enmity

towards　Dubkoff　continually　increasing。　For　his　part；　he　took　no

notice　of　me；　and　that　angered　me　the　more。　I　actually　felt　vexed

with　Woloda　and　Dimitri　because　they　went　on　talking　to　him。



〃I　tell　you　what；　gentlemen：　the　DIPLOMAT　ought　to　be

christened；〃