the marriage contract-第31章

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　　it　a　talisman！　Think；　think　of　him　who　may；　perhaps；　die　for　you；

　　far　from　you；　think　less　of　the　husband　than　of　the　lover　who

　　confides　you　to　God。





　　From　the　Comtesse　de　Manerville　to　her　husband：



　　Dear；　beloved　one；Your　letter　has　plunged　me　into　affliction。

　　Had　you　the　right　to　take　this　course；　which　must　affect　us

　　equally；　without　consulting　me？　Are　you　free？　Do　you　not　belong　to

　　me？　If　you　must　go；　why　should　I　not　follow　you？　You　show　me；

　　Paul；　that　I　am　not　indispensable　to　you。　What　have　I　done；　to　be

　　deprived　of　my　rights？　Surely　I　count　for　something　in　this　ruin。

　　My　luxuries　have　weighed　somewhat　in　the　scale。　You　make　me　curse

　　the　happy；　careless　life　we　have　led　for　the　last　five　years。　To

　　know　that　you　are　banished　from　France　for　years　is　enough　to　kill

　　me。　How　soon　can　a　fortune　be　made　in　India？　Will　you　ever　return？



　　I　was　right　when　I　refused；　with　instinctive　obstinacy；　that

　　separation　as　to　property　which　my　mother　and　you　were　so

　　determined　to　carry　out。　What　did　I　tell　you　then？　Did　I　not　warn

　　you　that　it　was　casting　a　reflection　upon　you；　and　would　ruin　your

　　credit？　It　was　not　until　you　were　really　angry　that　I　gave　way。



　　My　dear　Paul；　never　have　you　been　so　noble　in　my　eyes　as　you　are

　　at　this　moment。　To　despair　of　nothing；　to　start　courageously　to

　　seek　a　fortune！　Only　your　character；　your　strength　of　mind　could

　　do　it。　I　sit　at　your　feet。　A　man　who　avows　his　weakness　with　your

　　good　faith；　who　rebuilds　his　fortune　from　the　same　motive　that

　　made　him　wreck　it；　for　love's　sake；　for　the　sake　of　an

　　irresistible　passion；　oh；　Paul；　that　man　is　sublime！　Therefore；

　　fear　nothing；　go　on；　through　all　obstacles；　not　doubting　your

　　Nataliefor　that　would　be　doubting　yourself。　Poor　darling；　you

　　mean　to　live　in　me？　And　I　shall　ever　be　in　you。　I　shall　not　be

　　here；　I　shall　be　wherever　you　are；　wherever　you　go。



　　Though　your　letter　has　caused　me　the　keenest　pain；　it　has　also

　　filled　me　with　joyyou　have　made　me　know　those　two　extremes！

　　Seeing　how　you　love　me；　I　have　been　proud　to　learn　that　my　love　is

　　truly　felt。　Sometimes　I　have　thought　that　I　loved　you　more　than

　　you　loved　me。　Now；　I　admit　myself　vanquished；　you　have　added　the

　　delightful　superiorityof　lovingto　all　the　others　with　which

　　you　are　blest。　That　precious　letter　in　which　your　soul　reveals

　　itself　will　lie　upon　my　heart　during　all　your　absence；　for　my

　　soul；　too；　is　in　it；　that　letter　is　my　glory。



　　I　shall　go　to　live　at　Lanstrac　with　my　mother。　I　die　to　the　world；

　　I　will　economize　my　income　and　pay　your　debts　to　their　last

　　farthing。　From　this　day　forth；　Paul；　I　am　another　woman。　I　bid

　　farewell　forever　to　society；　I　will　have　no　pleasures　that　you

　　cannot　share。　Besides；　Paul；　I　ought　to　leave　Paris　and　live　in

　　retirement。　Dear　friend；　you　will　soon　have　a　noble　reason　to　make

　　your　fortune。　If　your　courage　needed　a　spur　you　would　find　it　in

　　this。　Cannot　you　guess？　We　shall　have　a　child。　Your　cherished

　　desires　are　granted。　I　feared　to　give　you　one　of　those　false　hopes

　　which　hurt　so　muchhave　we　not　had　grief　enough　already　on　that

　　score？　I　was　determined　not　to　be　mistaken　in　this　good　news。

　　To…day　I　feel　certain；　and　it　makes　me　happy　to　shed　this　joy　upon

　　your　sorrows。



　　This　morning；　fearing　nothing　and　thinking　you　still　at　home；　I

　　went　to　the　Assumption；　all　things　smiled　upon　me；　how　could　I

　　foresee　misfortune？　As　I　left　the　church　I　met　my　mother；　she　had

　　heard　of　your　distress；　and　came；　by　post；　with　all　her　savings；

　　thirty　thousand　francs；　hoping　to　help　you。　Ah！　what　a　heart　is

　　hers；　Paul！　I　felt　joyful；　and　hurried　home　to　tell　you　this　good

　　news；　and　to　breakfast　with　you　in　the　greenhouse；　where　I　ordered

　　just　the　dainties　that　you　like。　Well；　Augustine　brought　me　your

　　letter；a　letter　from　you；　when　we　had　slept　together！　A　cold

　　fear　seized　me；　it　was　like　a　dream！　I　read　your　letter！　I　read　it

　　weeping；　and　my　mother　shared　my　tears。　I　was　half…dead。　Such

　　love；　such　courage；　such　happiness；　such　misery！　The　richest

　　fortunes　of　the　heart；　and　the　momentary　ruin　of　all　interests！　To

　　lose　you　at　a　moment　when　my　admiration　of　your　greatness　thrilled

　　me！　what　woman　could　have　resisted　such　a　tempest　of　emotion？　To

　　know　you　far　away　when　your　hand　upon　my　heart　would　have　stilled

　　its　throbbings；　to　feel　that　YOU　were　not　here　to　give　me　that

　　look　so　precious　to　me；　to　rejoice　in　our　new　hopes；　that　I　was

　　not　with　you　to　soften　your　sorrows　by　those　caresses　which　made

　　your　Natalie　so　dear　to　you！　I　wished　to　start；　to　follow　you；　to

　　fly　to　you。　But　my　mother　told　me　you　had　taken　passage　in　a　ship

　　which　leaves　Bordeaux　to…morrow；　that　I　could　not　reach　you　except

　　by　post；　and；　moreover；　that　it　was　madness　in　my　present　state　to

　　risk　our　future　by　attempting　to　follow　you。　I　could　not　bear　such

　　violent　emotions；　I　was　taken　ill；　and　am　writing　to　you　now　in

　　bed。



　　My　mother　is　doing　all　she　can　to　stop　certain　calumnies　which

　　seem　to　have　got　about　on　your　disaster。　The　Vandenesses；　Charles

　　and　Felix；　have　earnestly　defended　you；　but　your　friend　de　Marsay

　　treats　the　affair　satirically。　He　laughs　at　your　accusers　instead

　　of　replying　to　them。　I　do　not　like　his　way　of　lightly　brushing

　　aside　such　serious　attacks。　Are　you　not　deceived　in　him？　However；

　　I　will　obey　you；　I　will　make　him　my　friend。　Do　not　be　anxious；　my

　　adored　one；　on　the　points　that　concern　your　honor；　is　it　not　mine

　　as　well？　My　diamonds　shall　be　pledged；　we　intend；　mamma　and　I；　to

　　employ　our　utmost　resources　in　the　payment　of　your　debts；　and　we

　　shall　try　to　buy　back　your　vineyard　at　Belle…Rose。　My　mother；　who

　　understands　business　like　a　lawyer；　blames　you　very　much　for　not

　　having　told　her　of　your　embarrassments。　She　would　not　have　bought

　　thinking　to　please　youthe　Grainrouge　domain；　and　then　she

　　could　have　lent　you　that　money　as　well　as　the　thirty　thousand

　　francs　she　brought　with　her。　She　is　in　despair　at　your　decision；

　　she　fears　the　climate　of　India　for　your　health。　She　entreats　you

　　to　be　sober；　and　not　to　let　yourself　be　trapped　by　womenThat

　　made　me　laugh；　I　am　as　sure　of　you　as　I　am　of　myself。　You　will

　　return　to　me　rich　and　faithful。　I　alone　know　your　feminine

　　delicacy；　and　the　secret　sentiments　which　make　you　a　human　flower

　　worthy　of　the　gardens　of　heaven。　The　Bordeaux　people　were　right

　　when　they　gave　you　your　floral　nickname。



　　But　alas！　who　will　take　care　of　my　delicate　flower？　My　heart　is

　　rent　with　dreadful　ideas。　I；　his　wife；　Natalie；　I　am　here；　and

　　perhaps　he　suffers　far　away　from　me！　And　not　to　share　your　pains；

　　your　vexations；　your　dangers！　In　whom　will　you　confide？　how　will

　　you　live　without　that　ear　into　which　you　have　hitherto　poured　all？

　　Dear；　sensitive　plant；　swept　away　by　this　storm；　will　you　be　able

　　to　survive　in　another　soil　than　your　native　land？



　　It　seems　to　me　that　I　have　been　alone　for　centuries。　I　have　wept

　　sorely。　To　be　the　cause　of　your　ruin！　What　a　text　for　the　thoughts

　　of　a　loving　woman！　You　treated　me　like　a　child　to　whom　we　give　all

　　it　asks；　or　like　a　courtesan；　allowed　by　some　thoughtless　youth　to

　　squander　his　fortune。　Ah！　such　indulgence　was；　in　truth；　an

　　insult。　Did　you　think　I　could　not　live　without　fine　dresses；　balls

　　and　operas　and　social　triumphs？　Am　I　so　frivolous　a　woman？　Do　you

　　think　me　incapable　of　serious　thought；　of　ministering　to　your

　　fortune　as　I　have　to　your　pleasures？　If　you　were　not　so　far　away；

　　and　so　unhappy；　I　would　blame　you　for　that　impertinence。　Why　lower

　　your　wife　in　that　way？　Good　heavens！　what　induced　me　to　go　into

　　society　at　all？to　flatter　your　vanity；　I　adorned　myself　for　you；

　　as　you　well　know。　If　I　did　wrong；　I　am　punished；　cruelly；　your

　　absence　is　a　harsh　expiation　of　our　mutual　life。



　　Perhaps　my　happiness　was　too　compl