the marriage contract-第25章

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time；　but　which　has　been　introduced　into　this　country　of　late　years

with　the　mania　for　family。　Since　the　Revolution　the　manners　and

customs　of　the　bourgeois　have　invaded　the　homes　of　the　aristocracy。

This　misfortune　is　due　to　one　of　their　writers；　Rousseau；　an　infamous

heretic；　whose　ideas　were　all　anti…social　and　who　pretended；　I　don't

know　how；　to　justify　the　most　senseless　things。　He　declared　that　all

women　had　the　same　rights　and　the　same　faculties；　that　living　in　a

state　of　society　we　ought；　nevertheless；　to　obey　natureas　if　the

wife　of　a　Spanish　grandee；　as　if　you　or　I　had　anything　in　common　with

the　women　of　the　people！　Since　then；　well…bred　women　have　suckled

their　children；　have　educated　their　daughters；　and　stayed　in　their　own

homes。　Life　has　become　so　involved　that　happiness　is　almost

impossible；for　a　perfect　harmony　between　natures　such　as　that　which

has　made　you　and　me　live　as　two　friends　is　an　exception。　Perpetual

contact　is　as　dangerous　for　parents　and　children　as　it　is　for　husband

and　wife。　There　are　few　souls　in　which　love　survives　this　fatal

omnipresence。　Therefore；　I　say；　erect　between　yourself　and　Paul　the

barriers　of　society；　go　to　balls　and　operas；　go　out　in　the　morning；

dine　out　in　the　evenings；　pay　visits　constantly；　and　grant　but　little

of　your　time　to　your　husband。　By　this　means　you　will　always　keep　your

value　to　him。　When　two　beings　bound　together　for　life　have　nothing　to

live　upon　but　sentiment；　its　resources　are　soon　exhausted；

indifference；　satiety；　and　disgust　succeed。　When　sentiment　has

withered　what　will　become　of　you？　Remember；　affection　once

extinguished　can　lead　to　nothing　but　indifference　or　contempt。　Be　ever

young　and　ever　new　to　him。　He　may　weary　you；that　often　happens；but

you　must　never　weary　him。　The　faculty　of　being　bored　without　showing

it　is　a　condition　of　all　species　of　power。　You　cannot　diversify

happiness　by　the　cares　of　property　or　the　occupations　of　a　family。　If

you　do　not　make　your　husband　share　your　social　interests；　if　you　do

not　keep　him　amused　you　will　fall　into　a　dismal　apathy。　Then　begins

the　SPLEEN　of　love。　But　a　man　will　always　love　the　woman　who　amuses

him　and　keeps　him　happy。　To　give　happiness　and　to　receive　it　are　two

lines　of　feminine　conduct　which　are　separated　by　a　gulf。〃



〃Dear　mother；　I　am　listening　to　you；　but　I　don't　understand　one　word

you　say。〃



〃If　you　love　Paul　to　the　extent　of　doing　all　he　asks　of　you；　if　you

make　your　happiness　depend　on　him；　all　is　over　with　your　future　life；

you　will　never　be　mistress　of　your　home；　and　the　best　precepts　in　the

world　will　do　you　no　good。〃



〃That　is　plainer；　but　I　see　the　rule　without　knowing　how　to　apply　it；〃

said　Natalie；　laughing。　〃I　have　the　theory；　the　practice　will　come。〃



〃My　poor　Ninie；〃　replied　the　mother；　who　dropped　an　honest　tear　at　the

thought　of　her　daughter's　marriage；　〃things　will　happen　to　teach　it　to

youAnd；〃　she　continued；　after　a　pause；　during　which　the　mother　and

daughter　held　each　other　closely　embraced　in　the　truest　sympathy；

〃remember　this；　my　Natalie：　we　all　have　our　destiny　as　women；　just　as

men　have　their　vocation　as　men。　A　woman　is　born　to　be　a　woman　of　the

world　and　a　charming　hostess；　as　a　man　is　born　to　be　a　general　or　a

poet。　Your　vocation　is　to　please。　Your　education　has　formed　you　for

society。　In　these　days　women　should　be　educated　for　the　salon　as　they

once　were　for　the　gynoecium。　You　were　not　born　to　be　the　mother　of　a

family　or　the　steward　of　a　household。　If　you　have　children；　I　hope

they　will　not　come　to　spoil　your　figure　on　the　morrow　of　your

marriage；　nothing　is　so　bourgeois　as　to　have　a　child　at　once。　If　you

have　them　two　or　three　years　after　your　marriage；　well　and　good；

governesses　and　tutors　will　bring　them　up。　YOU　are　to　be　the　lady；　the

great　lady；　who　represents　the　luxury　and　the　pleasure　of　the　house。

But　remember　one　thinglet　your　superiority　be　visible　in　those

things　only　which　flatter　a　man's　self…love；　hide　the　superiority　you

must　also　acquire　over　him　in　great　things。〃



〃But　you　frighten　me；　mamma；〃　cried　Natalie。　〃How　can　I　remember　all

these　precepts？　How　shall　I　ever　manage；　I；　such　a　child；　and　so

heedless；　to　reflect　and　calculate　before　I　act？〃



〃But；　my　dear　little　girl；　I　am　telling　you　to…day　that　which　you　must

surely　learn　later；　buying　your　experience　by　fatal　faults　and　errors

of　conduct　which　will　cause　you　bitter　regrets　and　embarrass　your

whole　life。〃



〃But　how　must　I　begin？〃　asked　Natalie；　artlessly。



〃Instinct　will　guide　you；〃　replied　her　mother。　〃At　this　moment　Paul

desires　you　more　than　he　loves　you；　for　love　born　of　desires　is　a

hope；　the　love　that　succeeds　their　satisfaction　is　the　reality。　There；

my　dear；　is　the　question；　there　lies　your　power。　What　woman　is　not

loved　before　marriage？　Be　so　on　the　morrow　and　you　shall　remain　so

always。　Paul　is　a　weak　man　who　is　easily　trained　to　habit。　If　he

yields　to　you　once　he　will　yield　always。　A　woman　ardently　desired　can

ask　all　things；　do　not　commit　the　folly　of　many　women　who　do　not　see

the　importance　of　the　first　hours　of　their　sway；that　of　wasting　your

power　on　trifles；　on　silly　things　with　no　result。　Use　the　empire　your

husband's　first　emotions　give　you　to　accustom　him　to　obedience。　And

when　you　make　him　yield；　choose　that　it　be　on　some　unreasonable　point；

so　as　to　test　the　measure　of　your　power　by　the　measure　of　his

concession。　What　victory　would　there　be　in　making　him　agree　to　a

reasonable　thing？　Would　that　be　obeying　you？　We　must　always；　as　the

Castilian　proverb　says；　take　the　bull　by　the　horns；　when　a　bull　has

once　seen　the　inutility　of　his　defence　and　of　his　strength　he　is

beaten。　When　your　husband　does　a　foolish　thing　for　you；　you　can　govern

him。〃



〃Why　so？〃



〃Because；　my　child；　marriage　lasts　a　lifetime；　and　a　husband　is　not　a

man　like　other　men。　Therefore；　never　commit　the　folly　of　giving

yourself　into　his　power　in　everything。　Keep　up　a　constant　reserve　in

your　speech　and　in　your　actions。　You　may　even　be　cold　to　him　without

danger；　for　you　can　modify　coldness　at　will。　Besides；　nothing　is　more

easy　to　maintain　than　our　dignity。　The　words；　'It　is　not　becoming　in

your　wife　to　do　thus　and　so；'　is　a　great　talisman。　The　life　of　a　woman

lies　in　the　words；　'I　will　not。'　They　are　the　final　argument。　Feminine

power　is　in　them；　and　therefore　they　should　only　be　used　on　real

occasions。　But　they　constitute　a　means　of　governing　far　beyond　that　of

argument　or　discussion。　I；　my　dear　child；　reigned　over　your　father　by

his　faith　in　me。　If　your　husband　believes　in　you；　you　can　do　all

things　with　him。　To　inspire　that　belief　you　must　make　him　think　that

you　understand　him。　Do　not　suppose　that　that　is　an　easy　thing　to　do。　A

woman　can　always　make　a　man　think　that　he　is　loved；　but　to　make　him

admit　that　he　is　understood　is　far　more　difficult。　I　am　bound　to　tell

you　all　now；　my　child；　for　to…morrow　life　with　its　complications；　life

with　two　wills　which　MUST　be　made　one；　begins　for　you。　Bear　in　mind；

at　all　moments；　that　difficulty。　The　only　means　of　harmonizing　your

two　wills　is　to　arrange　from　the　first　that　there　shall　be　but　one；

and　that　will　must　be　yours。　Many　persons　declare　that　a　wife　creates

her　own　unhappiness　by　changing　sides　in　this　way；　but；　my　dear；　she

can　only　become　the　mistress　by　controlling　events　instead　of　bearing

them；　and　that　advantage　compensates　for　any　difficulty。〃



Natalie　kissed　her　mother's　hands　with　tears　of　gratitude。　Like　all

women　in　whom　mental　emotion　is　never　warmed　by　physical　emotion；　she

suddenly　comprehended　the　bearings　of　this　feminine　policy；　but；　like

a　spoiled　child　that　never　admits　the　force　of　reason　and　returns

obstinately　to　its　one　desire；　she　came　back　to　the　charge　with　one　of

those　personal　arguments　which　the　logic　of　a　child　suggests：



〃Dear　mamma；〃　she　said；　〃it　is　only　a　few　days　since　you　were　talking

of　Paul's　advancement；　and　saying　that　you　alone　could　promote　it；