curious republic of gondour-第9章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
Greeley； etc。； etc。； and shed momentary fame at second hand on obscure
lecturers； draw public attention to lectures which would otherwise clack
eloquently to sounding emptiness； and subdue audiences into respectful
hearing of all sorts of unpopular and outlandish dogmas and isms。 That
is what I desire for the cheer and gratification of my gray hairs。 Let
me but sit up there with those fine relics of the Old Red Sandstone
Period and give Tone to an intellectual entertainment twice a week； and
be so reported； and my happiness will be complete。 Those men have been
my envy for long； long time。 And no memories of my life are so pleasant
as my reminiscence of their long and honorable career in the Tone…
imparting service。 I can recollect that first time I ever saw them on
the platforms just as well as I can remember the events of yesterday。
Horace Greeley sat on the right； Peter Cooper on the left； and Thomas
Jefferson； Red Jacket； Benjamin Franklin； and John Hancock sat between
them。 This was on the 22d of December； 1799； on the occasion of the
state' funeral of George Washington in New York。 It was a great day；
thata great day； and a very； very sad one。 I remember that Broadway
was one mass of black crape from Castle Garden nearly up to where the
City Hall now stands。 The next time I saw these gentlemen officiate was
at a ball given for the purpose of procuring money and medicines for the
sick and wounded soldiers and sailors。 Horace Greeley occupied one side
of the platform on which the musicians were exalted； and Peter Cooper the
other。 There were other Tone…imparters attendant upon the two chiefs；
but I have forgotten their names now。 Horace Greeley； gray…haired and
beaming； was in sailor costumewhite duck pants； blue shirt； open at the
breast； large neckerchief； loose as an ox…bow； and tied with a jaunty
sailor knot； broad turnover collar with star in the corner； shiny black
little tarpaulin hat roosting daintily far back on head； and flying two
gallant long ribbons。 Slippers on ample feet； round spectacles on
benignant nose； and pitchfork in hand； completed Mr。 Greeley； and made
him； in my boyish admiration； every inch a sailor； and worthy to be the
honored great…grandfather of the Neptune he was so ingeniously
representing。 I shall never forget him。 Mr。 Cooper was dressed as a
general of militia； and was dismally and oppressively warlike。 I
neglected to remark； in the proper place； that the soldiers and sailors
in whose aid the ball was given had just been sent in from Bostonthis
was during the war of 1812。 At the grand national reception of
Lafayette； in 1824； Horace Greeley sat on the right and Peter Cooper to
the left。 The other Tone…imparters of the day are sleeping the sleep of
the just now。 I was in the audience when Horace Greeley Peter Cooper；
and other chief citizens imparted tone to the great meetings in favor of
French liberty； in 1848。 Then I never saw them any more until here
lately； but now that I am living tolerably near the city； I run down
every time I see it announced that 〃Horace Greeley； Peter Cooper； and
several other distinguished citizens will occupy seats on the platform；〃
and next morning； when I read in the first paragraph of the phonographic
report that 〃Horace Greeley； Peter Cooper； and several other
distinguished citizens occupied seats on the platform；〃 I say to myself；
〃Thank God； I was present。〃 Thus I have been enabled to see these
substantial old friends of mine sit on the platform and give tone to
lectures on anatomy； and lectures on agriculture； and lectures on
stirpiculture； and lectures on astronomy； on chemistry； on miscegenation；
on 〃Is Man Descended from the Kangaroo？〃 on； veterinary matters； on all
kinds of religion； and several kinds of politics； and have seen them give
tone and grandeur to the Four…legged Girl； the Siamese Twins； the Great
Egyptian Sword Swallower； and the Old Original Jacobs。 Whenever somebody
is to lecture on a subject not of general interest； I know that my
venerated Remains of the Old Red Sandstone Period will be on the
platform； whenever a lecturer is to appear whom nobody has heard of
before； nor will be likely to seek to see； I know that the real
benevolence of my old friends will be taken advantage of； and that they
will be on the platform （and in the bills） as an advertisement； and
whenever any new and obnoxious deviltry in philosophy； morals； or
politics is to be sprung upon the people； I know perfectly well that
these intrepid old heroes will be on the platform too； in the interest
of full and free discussion； and to crush down all narrower and less
generous souls with the solid dead weight of their awful respectability。
And let us all remember that while these inveterate and imperishable
presiders （if you please） appear on the platform every night in the year
as regularly as the volunteered piano from Steinway's or Chickering's；
and have bolstered up and given tone to a deal of questionable merit and
obscure emptiness in their time； they have also diversified this
inconsequential service by occasional powerful uplifting and upholding of
great progressive ideas which smaller men feared to meddle with or
countenance。
OUR PRECIOUS LUNATIC
＇From the Buffalo Express； Saturday； May 14； 1870。＇
New YORK； May 10。
The Richardson…McFarland jury had been out one hour and fifty minutes。
A breathless silence brooded over court and auditorya silence and a
stillness so absolute； notwithstanding the vast multitude of human beings
packed together there； that when some one far away among the throng under
the northeast balcony cleared his throat with a smothered little cough it
startled everybody uncomfortably； so distinctly did it grate upon the
pulseless air。 At that imposing moment the bang of a door was heard；
then the shuffle of approaching feet； and then a sort of surging and
swaying disorder among the heads at the entrance from the jury…room told
them that the Twelve were coming。 Presently all was silent again； and
the foreman of the jury rose and said：
〃Your Honor and Gentleman： We； the jury charged with the duty of
determining whether the prisoner at the bar； Daniel McFarland； has been
guilty of murder； in taking by surprise an unarmed man and shooting him
to death； or whether the prisoner is afflicted with a sad but
irresponsible insanity which at times can be cheered only by violent
entertainment with firearms； do find as follows； namely：
That the prisoner； Daniel McFarland； is insane as above described。
Because：
1。 His great grandfather's stepfather was tainted with insanity； and
frequently killed people who were distasteful to him。 Hence； insanity is
hereditary in the family。
2。 For nine years the prisoner at the bar did not adequately support his
family。 Strong circumstantial evidence of insanity。
3。 For nine years he made of his home； as a general thing； a poor…house；
sometimes （but very rarely） a cheery； happy habitation； frequently the
den of a beery； drivelling； stupefied animal； but never； as far as
ascertained； the abiding place of a gentleman。 These be evidences of
insanity。
4。 He once took his young unmarried sister…in…law to the museum； while
there his hereditary insanity came upon him to such a degree that he
hiccupped and staggered； and afterward； on the way home； even made love
to the young girl he was protecting。 These are the acts of a person not
in his right mind。
5。 For a good while his sufferings were so great that he had to submit
to the inconvenience of having his wife give public readings for the
family support； and at times； when he handed these shameful earnings to
the barkeeper； his haughty soul was so torn with anguish that he could
hardly stand without leaning against something。 At such times he has
been known to shed tears into his sustenance till it diluted to utter
inefficiency。 Inattention of this nature is not the act of a Democrat
unafflicted in mind。
6。 He never spared expense in making his wife comfortable during her
occasional confinements。 Her father is able to testify to this。 There
was always
