curious republic of gondour-第7章
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said a word； but climbed off his horse and lay down calmly in the road。
I felt sorry for Davis。 It was too late now； though； and Dan was
drinking。 Dan got down too； and hunted for a soft place。 I thought I
heard Dan say； 〃That Arab's friends ought to keep him in alcohol or else
take him out and bury him somewhere。〃 All the boys took a drink and
climbed down。 It is not well to go into further particulars。 Let us
draw the curtain upon this act。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
Well； now； to think that after three changing years I should hear from
that curious old relic again； and see Dan advertising it for sale for the
benefit of a benevolent object。 Dan is not treating that present right。
I gave that pipe to him for a keepsake。 However； he probably finds that
it keeps away custom and interferes with business。 It is the most
convincing inanimate object in all this part of the world； perhaps。 Dan
and I were roommates in all that long 〃Quaker City〃 voyage； and whenever
I desired to have a little season of privacy I used to fire up on that
pipe and persuade Dan to go out； and he seldom waited to change his
clothes； either。 In about a quarter； or from that to three…quarters of a
minute； be would be propping up the smoke…stack on the upper deck and
cursing。 I wonder how the faithful old relic is going to sell？
A REMINISCENCE OF THE BACK SETTLEMENTS
Now that corpse ＇said the undertaker； patting the folded hands of the
deceased approvingly was a brick…every way you took him he was a brick。
He was so real accommodating； and so modest…like and simple in his last
moments。 Friends wanted metallic burial casenothing else would do。
I couldn't get it。 There warn't going to be time anybody could see that。
Corpse said never mind； shake him up some kind of a box he could stretch
out in comfortable； he warn't particular 'bout the general style of it。
Said he went more on room than style； any way； in the last final
container。 Friends wanted a silver door…plate on the coffin； signifying
who he was and wher； he was from。 Now you know a fellow couldn't roust
out such a gaily thing as that in a little country town like this。 What
did corpse say？ Corpse said； whitewash his old canoe and dob his address
and general destination onto it with a blacking brush and a stencil
plate； long with a verse from some likely hymn or other； and pint him for
the tomb； and mark him C。 O。 D。； and just let him skip along。 He warn't
distressed any more than you beon the contrary just as carm and
collected as a hearse…horse； said he judged that wher' he was going to；
a body would find it considerable better to attract attention by a
picturesque moral character than a natty burial case with a swell
doorplate on it。 Splendid man； he was。 I'd druther do for a corpse like
that 'n any I've tackled in seven year。 There's some satisfaction in
buryin' a man like that。 You feel that what you're doing is appreciated。
Lord bless you； so's he got planted before he sp'iled； he was perfectly
satisfied； said his relations meant well； perfectly well； but all them
preparations was bound to delay the thing more or less； and he didn't
wish to be kept layin' round。 You never see such a clear head as what he
hadand so carm and so cool。 Just a hunk of brains that is what he was。
Perfectly awful。 It was a ripping distance from one end of that man's
head to t'other。 Often and over again he's had brain fever a…raging in
one place； and the rest of the pile didn't know anything about itdidn't
affect it any more than an Injun insurrection in Arizona affects the
Atlantic States。 Well； the relations they wanted a big funeral； but
corpse said he was down on flummerydidn't want any processionfill the
hearse full of mourners； and get out a stern line and tow him behind。
He was the most down on style of any remains I ever struck。 A beautiful；
simple…minded creatureit was what he was； you can depend on that。 He
was just set on having things the way he wanted them； and he took a solid
comfort in laying his little plans。 He had me measure him and take a
whole raft of directions； then he had a minister stand up behind a long
box with a tablecloth over it and read his funeral sermon； saying
'Angcore； angcore！' at the good places； and making him scratch out every
bit of brag about him； and all the hifalutin； and then he made them trot
out the choir so's he could help them pick out the tunes for the
occasion； and he got them to sing 'Pop Goes the Weasel；' because he'd
always liked that tune when he was downhearted； and solemn music made him
sad； and when they sung that with tears in their eyes （because they all
loved him）； and his relations grieving around； he just laid there as
happy as a bug； and trying to beat time and showing all over how much he
enjoyed it； and presently he got worked up and excited； and tried to join
in； for mind you he was pretty proud of his abilities in the singing
line； but the first time he opened his mouth and was just going to spread
himself； his breath took a walk。 I never see a man snuffed out so
sudden。 Ah； it was a great lossit was a powerful loss to this poor
little one…horse town。 Well； well； well； I hain't got time to be
palavering along heregot to nail on the lid and mosey along with' him；
and if you'll just give me a lift we'll skeet him into the hearse and
meander along。 Relations bound to have it sodon't pay no attention to
dying injunctions； minute a corpse's gone； but if I had my way； if I
didn't respect his last wishes and tow him behind the hearse； I'll be
cuss'd。 I consider that whatever a corpse wants done for his comfort is
a little enough matter； and a man hain't got no right to deceive him or
take advantage of himand whatever a corpse trusts me to do I'm a…going
to do； you know； even if it's to stuff him and paint him yaller and keep
him for a keepsakeyou hear me！〃
He cracked his whip and went lumbering away with his ancient ruin of a
hearse； and I continued my walk with a valuable lesson learnedthat a
healthy and wholesome cheerfulness is not necessarily impossible to any
occupation。 The lesson is likely to be lasting； for it will take many
months to obliterate the memory of the remarks and circumstances that
impressed it。
A ROYAL COMPLIMENT
The latest report about the Spanish crown is； that it will now be
offered to Prince Alfonso； the second son of the King of Portugal；
who is but five years of age。 The Spaniards have hunted through all
the nations of Europe for a King。 They tried to get a Portuguese in
the person of Dom…Luis； who is an old ex…monarch； they tried to get
an Italian； in the person of Victor Emanuel's young son； the Duke of
Genoa； they tried to get a Spaniard； in the person of Espartero； who
is an octogenarian。 Some of them desired a French Bourbon；
Montpensier； some of them a Spanish Bourbon； the Prince of Asturias；
some of them an English prince； one of the sons of Queen Victoria。
They have just tried to get the German Prince Leopold； but they have
thought it better to give him up than take a war along with him。
It is a long time since we first suggested to them to try an
American ruler。 We can offer them a large number of able and
experienced sovereigns to pick from…men skilled in statesmanship；
versed in the science of government； and adepts in all the arts of
administrationmen who could wear the crown with dignity and rule
the kingdom at a reasonable expense。
There is not the least danger of Napoleon threatening them if they
take an American sovereign； in fact； we have no doubt he would be
pleased to support such a candidature。 We are unwilling to mention
namesthough we have a man in our eye whom we wish they had in
theirs。New York Tribune。
It would be but an ostentation of modesty to permit such a pointed
reference to myself to pass unnoticed。 This is the second time that 'The
Tribune' （no doubt sincerely looking to the best interests of Spain and
the world at large） has done me the great and unusual honour to propose
me as a fi
