before adam-第3章

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memories　are　not　ours　as　well；　seeing　that　we　have　a

vague　other…personality　that　falls　through　space　while

we　sleep？



And　I　may　answer　with　another　question。　　Why　is　a

two…headed　calf？　And　my　own　answer　to　this　is　that　it

is　a　freak。　　And　so　I　answer　your　question。　　I　have

this　other…personality　and　these　complete　racial

memories　because　I　am　a　freak。



But　let　me　be　more　explicit。



The　commonest　race　memory　we　have　is　the

falling…through…space　dream。　　This　other…personality　is

very　vague。　　About　the　only　memory　it　has　is　that　of

falling。　　But　many　of　us　have　sharper；　more　distinct

other…personalities。　　Many　of　us　have　the　flying　dream；

the　pursuing…monster　dream；　color　dreams；　suffocation

dreams；　and　the　reptile　and　vermin　dreams。　　In　short；

while　this　other…personality　is　vestigial　in　all　of　us；

in　some　of　us　it　is　almost　obliterated；　while　in　others

of　us　it　is　more　pronounced。　Some　of　us　have　stronger

and　completer　race　memories　than　others。



It　is　all　a　question　of　varying　degree　of　possession　of

the　other…personality。　　In　myself；　the　degree　of

possession　is　enormous。　　My　other…personality　is　almost

equal　in　power　with　my　own　personality。　　And　in　this

matter　I　am；　as　I　said；　a　freaka　freak　of　heredity。



I　do　believe　that　it　is　the　possession　of　this

other…personalitybut　not　so　strong　a　one　as

minethat　has　in　some　few　others　given　rise　to　belief

in　personal　reincarnation　experiences。　　It　is　very

plausible　to　such　people；　a　most　convincing　hypothesis。

When　they　have　visions　of　scenes　they　have　never　seen

in　the　flesh；　memories　of　acts　and　events　dating　back

in　time；　the　simplest　explanation　is　that　they　have

lived　before。



But　they　make　the　mistake　of　ignoring　their　own

duality。　　They　do　not　recognize　their

other…personality。　　They　think　it　is　their　own

personality；　that　they　have　only　one　personality；　and

from　such　a　premise　they　can　conclude　only　that　they

have　lived　previous　lives。



But　they　are　wrong。　　It　is　not　reincarnation。　　I　have

visions　of　myself　roaming　through　the　forests　of　the

Younger　World；　and　yet　it　is　not　myself　that　I　see　but

one　that　is　only　remotely　a　part　of　me；　as　my　father

and　my　grandfather　are　parts　of　me　less　remote。　　This

other…self　of　mine　is　an　ancestor；　a　progenitor　of　my

progenitors　in　the　early　line　of　my　race；　himself　the

progeny　of　a　line　that　long　before　his　time　developed

fingers　and　toes　and　climbed　up　into　the　trees。



I　must　again；　at　the　risk　of　boring；　repeat　that　I　am；

in　this　one　thing；　to　be　considered　a　freak。　　Not　alone

do　I　possess　racial　memory　to　an　enormous　extent；　but　I

possess　the　memories　of　one　particular　and　far…removed

progenitor。　　And　yet；　while　this　is　most　unusual；　there

is　nothing　over…remarkable　about　it。



Follow　my　reasoning。　　An　instinct　is　a　racial　memory。

Very　good。　Then　you　and　I　and　all　of　us　receive　these

memories　from　our　fathers　and　mothers；　as　they　received

them　from　their　fathers　and　mothers。　　Therefore　there

must　be　a　medium　whereby　these　memories　are　transmitted

from　generation　to　generation。　　This　medium　is　what

Weismann　terms　the　〃germplasm。〃　It　carries　the　memories

of　the　whole　evolution　of　the　race。　　These　memories　are

dim　and　confused；　and　many　of　them　are　lost。　　But　some

strains　of　germplasm　carry　an　excessive　freightage　of

memoriesare；　to　be　scientific；　more　atavistic　than

other　strains；　and　such　a　strain　is　mine。　　I　am　a　freak

of　heredity；　an　atavistic　nightmarecall　me　what　you

will；　but　here　I　am；　real　and　alive；　eating　three

hearty　meals　a　day；　and　what　are　you　going　to　do　about

it？



And　now；　before　I　take　up　my　tale；　I　want　to　anticipate

the　doubting　Thomases　of　psychology；　who　are　prone　to

scoff；　and　who　would　otherwise　surely　say　that　the

coherence　of　my　dreams　is　due　to　overstudy　and　the

subconscious　projection　of　my　knowledge　of　evolution

into　my　dreams。　　In　the　first　place；　I　have　never　been

a　zealous　student。　　I　graduated　last　of　my　class。　　I

cared　more　for　athletics；　andthere　is　no　reason　I

should　not　confess　itmore　for　billiards。



Further；　I　had　no　knowledge　of　evolution　until　I　was　at

college；　whereas　in　my　childhood　and　youth　I　had

already　lived　in　my　dreams　all　the　details　of　that

other；　long…ago　life。　　I　will　say；　however；　that　these

details　were　mixed　and　incoherent　until　I　came　to　know

the　science　of　evolution。　　Evolution　was　the　key。　　It

gave　the　explanation；　gave　sanity　to　the　pranks　of　this

atavistic　brain　of　mine　that；　modern　and　normal；　harked

back　to　a　past　so　remote　as　to　be　contemporaneous　with

the　raw　beginnings　of　mankind。



For　in　this　past　I　know　of；　man；　as　we　to…day　know　him；

did　not　exist。　　It　was　in　the　period　of　his　becoming

that　I　must　have　lived　and　had　my　being。







CHAPTER　III





The　commonest　dream　of　my　early　childhood　was　something

like　this：　It　seemed　that　I　was　very　small　and　that　I

lay　curled　up　in　a　sort　of　nest　of　twigs　and　boughs。

Sometimes　I　was　lying　on　my　back。　In　this　position　it

seemed　that　I　spent　many　hours；　watching　the　play　of

sunlight　on　the　foliage　and　the　stirring　of　the　leaves

by　the　wind。　　Often　the　nest　itself　moved　back　and

forth　when　the　wind　was　strong。



But　always；　while　so　lying　in　the　nest；　I　was　mastered

as　of　tremendous　space　beneath　me。　　I　never　saw　it；　I

never　peered　over　the　edge　of　the　nest　to　see；　but　I

KNEW　and　feared　that　space　that　lurked　just　beneath　me

and　that　ever　threatened　me　like　a　maw　of　some

all…devouring　monster。



This　dream；　in　which　I　was　quiescent　and　which　was　more

like　a　condition　than　an　experience　of　action；　I

dreamed　very　often　in　my　early　childhood。　　But

suddenly；　there　would　rush　into　the　very　midst　of　it

strange　forms　and　ferocious　happenings；　the　thunder　and

crashing　of　storm；　or　unfamiliar　landscapes　such　as　in

my　wake…a…day　life　I　had　never　seen。　　The　result　was

confusion　and　nightmare。　　I　could　comprehend　nothing　of

it。　　There　was　no　logic　of　sequence。



You　see；　I　did　not　dream　consecutively。　　One　moment　I

was　a　wee　babe　of　the　Younger　World　lying　in　my　tree

nest；　the　next　moment　I　was　a　grown　man　of　the　Younger

World　locked　in　combat　with　the　hideous　Red…Eye；　and

the　next　moment　I　was　creeping　carefully　down　to　the

water…hole　in　the　heat　of　the　day。　　Events；　years　apart

in　their　occurrence　in　the　Younger　World；　occurred　with

me　within　the　space　of　several　minutes；　or　seconds。



It　was　all　a　jumble；　but　this　jumble　I　shall　not

inflict　upon　you。　It　was　not　until　I　was　a　young　man

and　had　dreamed　many　thousand　times；　that　everything

straightened　out　and　became　clear　and　plain。　　Then　it

was　that　I　got　the　clew　of　time；　and　was　able　to　piece

together　events　and　actions　in　their　proper　order。

Thus　was　I　able　to　reconstruct　the　vanished　Younger

World　as　it　was　at　the　time　I　lived　in　itor　at　the

time　my　other…self　lived　in　it。　　The　distinction　does

not　matter；　for　I；　too；　the　modern　man；　have　gone　back

and　lived　that　early　life　in　the　company　of　my

other…self。



For　your　convenience；　since　this　is　to　be　no

sociological　screed；　I　shall　frame　together　the

different　events　into　a　comprehensive　story。　　For　there

is　a　certain　thread　of　continuity　and　happening　that

runs　through　all　the　dreams。　　There　is　my　friendship

with　Lop…Ear；　for　instance。　　Also；　there　is　the　enmity

of　Red…Eye；　and　the　love　of　the　Swift　One。　　Taking　it

all　in　all；　a　fairly　coherent　and　interesting　story　I

am　sure　you　will　agree。



I　do　not　remember　much　of　my　mother。　　Possibly　the

earliest　recollection　I　have　of　herand　certainly　the

sharpestis　the　following：　It　seemed　I　was　lying　on

the　ground。　　I　was　somewhat　older　than　during　the　nest

days；　but　still　helpless。　　I　rolled　about　in　the　dry

leaves；　playing　with　them　and　making　crooning；　rasping

noises　in　my　throat。　　The　sun　shone　warmly　and　I　was

happy；　and　comfortable。　　I　was　in　a　little　open　space。

Around　me；　on　all　sides；