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第3章

before adam-第3章

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memories are not ours as well; seeing that we have a

vague other…personality that falls through space while

we sleep?



And I may answer with another question。  Why is a

two…headed calf? And my own answer to this is that it

is a freak。  And so I answer your question。  I have

this other…personality and these complete racial

memories because I am a freak。



But let me be more explicit。



The commonest race memory we have is the

falling…through…space dream。  This other…personality is

very vague。  About the only memory it has is that of

falling。  But many of us have sharper; more distinct

other…personalities。  Many of us have the flying dream;

the pursuing…monster dream; color dreams; suffocation

dreams; and the reptile and vermin dreams。  In short;

while this other…personality is vestigial in all of us;

in some of us it is almost obliterated; while in others

of us it is more pronounced。 Some of us have stronger

and completer race memories than others。



It is all a question of varying degree of possession of

the other…personality。  In myself; the degree of

possession is enormous。  My other…personality is almost

equal in power with my own personality。  And in this

matter I am; as I said; a freaka freak of heredity。



I do believe that it is the possession of this

other…personalitybut not so strong a one as

minethat has in some few others given rise to belief

in personal reincarnation experiences。  It is very

plausible to such people; a most convincing hypothesis。

When they have visions of scenes they have never seen

in the flesh; memories of acts and events dating back

in time; the simplest explanation is that they have

lived before。



But they make the mistake of ignoring their own

duality。  They do not recognize their

other…personality。  They think it is their own

personality; that they have only one personality; and

from such a premise they can conclude only that they

have lived previous lives。



But they are wrong。  It is not reincarnation。  I have

visions of myself roaming through the forests of the

Younger World; and yet it is not myself that I see but

one that is only remotely a part of me; as my father

and my grandfather are parts of me less remote。  This

other…self of mine is an ancestor; a progenitor of my

progenitors in the early line of my race; himself the

progeny of a line that long before his time developed

fingers and toes and climbed up into the trees。



I must again; at the risk of boring; repeat that I am;

in this one thing; to be considered a freak。  Not alone

do I possess racial memory to an enormous extent; but I

possess the memories of one particular and far…removed

progenitor。  And yet; while this is most unusual; there

is nothing over…remarkable about it。



Follow my reasoning。  An instinct is a racial memory。

Very good。 Then you and I and all of us receive these

memories from our fathers and mothers; as they received

them from their fathers and mothers。  Therefore there

must be a medium whereby these memories are transmitted

from generation to generation。  This medium is what

Weismann terms the 〃germplasm。〃 It carries the memories

of the whole evolution of the race。  These memories are

dim and confused; and many of them are lost。  But some

strains of germplasm carry an excessive freightage of

memoriesare; to be scientific; more atavistic than

other strains; and such a strain is mine。  I am a freak

of heredity; an atavistic nightmarecall me what you

will; but here I am; real and alive; eating three

hearty meals a day; and what are you going to do about

it?



And now; before I take up my tale; I want to anticipate

the doubting Thomases of psychology; who are prone to

scoff; and who would otherwise surely say that the

coherence of my dreams is due to overstudy and the

subconscious projection of my knowledge of evolution

into my dreams。  In the first place; I have never been

a zealous student。  I graduated last of my class。  I

cared more for athletics; andthere is no reason I

should not confess itmore for billiards。



Further; I had no knowledge of evolution until I was at

college; whereas in my childhood and youth I had

already lived in my dreams all the details of that

other; long…ago life。  I will say; however; that these

details were mixed and incoherent until I came to know

the science of evolution。  Evolution was the key。  It

gave the explanation; gave sanity to the pranks of this

atavistic brain of mine that; modern and normal; harked

back to a past so remote as to be contemporaneous with

the raw beginnings of mankind。



For in this past I know of; man; as we to…day know him;

did not exist。  It was in the period of his becoming

that I must have lived and had my being。







CHAPTER III





The commonest dream of my early childhood was something

like this: It seemed that I was very small and that I

lay curled up in a sort of nest of twigs and boughs。

Sometimes I was lying on my back。 In this position it

seemed that I spent many hours; watching the play of

sunlight on the foliage and the stirring of the leaves

by the wind。  Often the nest itself moved back and

forth when the wind was strong。



But always; while so lying in the nest; I was mastered

as of tremendous space beneath me。  I never saw it; I

never peered over the edge of the nest to see; but I

KNEW and feared that space that lurked just beneath me

and that ever threatened me like a maw of some

all…devouring monster。



This dream; in which I was quiescent and which was more

like a condition than an experience of action; I

dreamed very often in my early childhood。  But

suddenly; there would rush into the very midst of it

strange forms and ferocious happenings; the thunder and

crashing of storm; or unfamiliar landscapes such as in

my wake…a…day life I had never seen。  The result was

confusion and nightmare。  I could comprehend nothing of

it。  There was no logic of sequence。



You see; I did not dream consecutively。  One moment I

was a wee babe of the Younger World lying in my tree

nest; the next moment I was a grown man of the Younger

World locked in combat with the hideous Red…Eye; and

the next moment I was creeping carefully down to the

water…hole in the heat of the day。  Events; years apart

in their occurrence in the Younger World; occurred with

me within the space of several minutes; or seconds。



It was all a jumble; but this jumble I shall not

inflict upon you。 It was not until I was a young man

and had dreamed many thousand times; that everything

straightened out and became clear and plain。  Then it

was that I got the clew of time; and was able to piece

together events and actions in their proper order。

Thus was I able to reconstruct the vanished Younger

World as it was at the time I lived in itor at the

time my other…self lived in it。  The distinction does

not matter; for I; too; the modern man; have gone back

and lived that early life in the company of my

other…self。



For your convenience; since this is to be no

sociological screed; I shall frame together the

different events into a comprehensive story。  For there

is a certain thread of continuity and happening that

runs through all the dreams。  There is my friendship

with Lop…Ear; for instance。  Also; there is the enmity

of Red…Eye; and the love of the Swift One。  Taking it

all in all; a fairly coherent and interesting story I

am sure you will agree。



I do not remember much of my mother。  Possibly the

earliest recollection I have of herand certainly the

sharpestis the following: It seemed I was lying on

the ground。  I was somewhat older than during the nest

days; but still helpless。  I rolled about in the dry

leaves; playing with them and making crooning; rasping

noises in my throat。  The sun shone warmly and I was

happy; and comfortable。  I was in a little open space。

Around me; on all sides; 

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