the essays of montaigne, v3-第11章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


under　any　manner　of　suspicion　of　insufficiency；　and　as　little　of　being
enchanted；　who　having　heard　a　companion　of　his　make　a　relation　of　an
unusual　frigidity　that　surprised　him　at　a　very　unseasonable　time；　being
afterwards　himself　engaged　upon　the　same　account；　the　horror　of　the
former　story　on　a　sudden　so　strangely　possessed　his　imagination；　that　he
ran　the　same　fortune　the　other　had　done；　and　from　that　time　forward；　the
scurvy　remembrance　of　his　disaster　running　in　his　mind　and　tyrannising
over　him；　he　was　subject　to　relapse　into　the　same　misfortune。　　He　found
some　remedy；　however；　for　this　fancy　in　another　fancy；　by　himself　frankly
confessing　and　declaring　beforehand　to　the　party　with　whom　he　was　to　have
to　do；　this　subjection　of　his；　by　which　means；　the　agitation　of　his　soul
was；　in　some　sort；　appeased；　and　knowing　that；　now；　some　such
misbehaviour　was　expected　from　him；　the　restraint　upon　his　faculties　grew
less。　　And　afterwards；　at　such　times　as　he　was　in　no　such　apprehension；
when　setting　about　the　act　（his　thoughts　being　then　disengaged　and　free；
and　his　body　in　its　true　and　natural　estate）　he　was　at　leisure　to　cause
the　part　to　be　handled　and　communicated　to　the　knowledge　of　the　other
party；　he　was　totally　freed　from　that　vexatious　infirmity。　　After　a　man
has　once　done　a　woman　right；　he　is　never　after　in　danger　of　misbehaving
himself　with　that　person；　unless　upon　the　account　of　some　excusable
weakness。　　Neither　is　this　disaster　to　be　feared；　but　in　adventures；
where　the　soul　is　overextended　with　desire　or　respect；　and；　especially；
where　the　opportunity　is　of　an　unforeseen　and　pressing　nature；　in　those
cases；　there　is　no　means　for　a　man　to　defend　himself　from　such　a
surprise；　as　shall　put　him　altogether　out　of　sorts。　　I　have　known　some；
who　have　secured　themselves　from　this　mischance；　by　coming　half　sated
elsewhere；　purposely　to　abate　the　ardour　of　the　fury；　and　others；　who；
being　grown　old；　find　themselves　less　impotent　by　being　less　able；　and
one；　who　found　an　advantage　in　being　assured　by　a　friend　of　his；　that　he
had　a　counter…charm　of　enchantments　that　would　secure　him　from　this
disgrace。　　The　story　itself　is　not；　much　amiss；　and　therefore　you　shall
have　it。

A　Count　of　a　very　great　family；　and　with　whom　I　was　very　intimate；　being
married　to　a　fair　lady；　who　had　formerly　been　courted　by　one　who　was　at
the　wedding；　all　his　friends　were　in　very　great　fear；　but　especially　an
old　lady　his　kinswoman；　who　had　the　ordering　of　the　solemnity；　and　in
whose　house　it　was　kept；　suspecting　his　rival　would　offer　foul　play　by
these　sorceries。　　Which　fear　she　communicated　to　me。　　I　bade　her　rely
upon　me：　I　had；　by　chance；　about　me　a　certain　flat　plate　of　gold；　whereon
were　graven　some　celestial　figures；　supposed　good　against　sunstroke　or
pains　in　the　head；　being　applied　to　the　suture：　where；　that　it　might　the
better　remain　firm；　it　was　sewed　to　a　ribbon　to　be　tied　under　the　chin；　a
foppery　cousin…german　to　this　of　which　I　am　speaking。　　Jaques　Pelletier；
who　lived　in　my　house；　had　presented　this　to　me　for　a　singular　rarity。
I　had　a　fancy　to　make　some　use　of　this　knack；　and　therefore　privately
told　the　Count；　that　he　might　possibly　run　the　same　fortune　other
bridegrooms　had　sometimes　done；　especially　some　one　being　in　the　house；
who；　no　doubt；　would　be　glad　to　do　him　such　a　courtesy：　but　let　him
boldly　go　to　bed。　　For　I　would　do　him　the　office　of　a　friend；　and；　if
need　were；　would　not　spare　a　miracle　it　was　in　my　power　to　do；　provided
he　would　engage　to　me；　upon　his　honour；　to　keep　it　to　himself；　and　only；
when　they　came　to　bring　him　his　caudle；＇A　custom　in　France　to　bring　the
bridegroom　a　caudle　in　the　middle　of　the　night　on　his　wedding…night＇
if　matters　had　not　gone　well　with　him；　to　give　me　such　a　sign；　and　leave
the　rest　to　me。　　Now　he　had　had　his　ears　so　battered；　and　his　mind　so
prepossessed　with　the　eternal　tattle　of　this　business；　that　when　he　came
to't；　he　did　really　find　himself　tied　with　the　trouble　of　his
imagination；　and；　accordingly；　at　the　time　appointed；　gave　me　the　sign。
Whereupon；　I　whispered　him　in　the　ear；　that　he　should　rise；　under
pretence　of　putting　us　out　of　the　room；　and　after　a　jesting　manner　pull
my　nightgown　from　my　shoulderswe　were　of　much　about　the　same　height
throw　it　over　his　own；　and　there　keep　it　till　he　had　performed　what　I　had
appointed　him　to　do；　which　was；　that　when　we　were　all　gone　out　of　the
chamber；　he　should　withdraw　to　make　water；　should　three　times　repeat　such
and　such　words；　and　as　often　do　such　and　such　actions；　that　at　every　of
the　three　times；　he　should　tie　the　ribbon　I　put　into　his　hand　about　his
middle；　and　be　sure　to　place　the　medal　that　was　fastened　to　it；　the
figures　in　such　a　posture；　exactly　upon　his　reins；　which　being　done；　and
having　the　last　of　the　three　times　so　well　girt　and　fast　tied　the　ribbon
that　it　could　neither　untie　nor　slip　from　its　place；　let　him　confidently
return　to　his　business；　and　withal　not　forget　to　spread　my　gown　upon　the
bed；　so　that　it　might　be　sure　to　cover　them　both。　　These　ape's　tricks　are
the　main　of　the　effect；　our　fancy　being　so　far　seduced　as　to　believe　that
such　strange　means　must；　of　necessity；　proceed　from　some　abstruse
science：　their　very　inanity　gives　them　weight　and　reverence。　　And；
certain　it　is；　that　my　figures　approved　themselves　more　venereal　than
solar；　more　active　than　prohibitive。　　'Twas　a　sudden　whimsey；　mixed　with
a　little　curiosity；　that　made　me　do　a　thing　so　contrary　to　my　nature；　for
I　am　an　enemy　to　all　subtle　and　counterfeit　actions；　and　abominate　all
manner　of　trickery；　though　it　be　for　sport；　and　to　an　advantage；　for
though　the　action　may　not　be　vicious　in　itself；　its　mode　is　vicious。

Amasis；　King　of　Egypt；　having　married　Laodice；　a　very　beautiful　Greek
virgin；　though　noted　for　his　abilities　elsewhere；　found　himself　quite
another　man　with　his　wife；　and　could　by　no　means　enjoy　her；　at　which　he
was　so　enraged；　that　he　threatened　to　kill　her；　suspecting　her　to　be　a
witch。　　As　'tis　usual　in　things　that　consist　in　fancy；　she　put　him　upon
devotion；　and　having　accordingly　made　his　vows　to　Venus；　he　found　himself
divinely　restored　the　very　first　night　after　his　oblations　and
sacrifices。　　Now　women　are　to　blame　to　entertain　us　with　that　disdainful；
coy；　and　angry　countenance；　which　extinguishes　our　vigour；　as　it　kindles
our　desire；　which　made　the　daughter…in…law　of　Pythagoras＇Theano；　the
lady　in　question　was　the　wife；　not　the　daughter…in…law　of　Pythagoras。＇
say；　〃That　the　woman　who　goes　to　bed　to　a　man；　must　put　off　her　modesty
with　her　petticoat；　and　put　it　on　again　with　the　same。〃　　The　soul　of　the
assailant；　being　disturbed　with　many　several　alarms；　readily　loses　the
power　of　performance；　and　whoever　the　imagination　has　once　put　this　trick
upon；　and　confounded　with　the　shame　of　it　（and　she　never　does　it　but　at
the　first　acquaintance；　by　reason　men　are　then　more　ardent　and　eager；　and
also；　at　this　first　account　a　man　gives　of　himself；　he　is　much　more
timorous　of　miscarrying）；　having　made　an　ill　beginning；　he　enters　into
such　fever　and　despite　at　the　accident；　as　are　apt　to　remain　and　continue
with　him　upon　following　occasions。

Married　people；　having　all　their　time　before　them；　ought　never　to　compel
or　so　much　as　to　offer　at　the　feat；　if　they　do　not　find　themselves　quite
ready：　and　it　is　less　unseemly　to　fail　of　handselling　the　nuptial　sheets；
when　a　man　perceives　himself　full　of　agitation　and　trembling；　and　to
await　another　opportunity　at　more　private　and　more　composed　leisure；　than
to　make　himself　perpetually　miserable；　for　having　misbehaved　himself　and
been　baffled　at　the　first　assault。　　Till　possession　be　taken；　a　man　that
knows　himself　subject　to　this　infirmity；　should　leisurely　and　by　degrees
make　several　little　trials　and　light　offers；　without　obstinately
attempting　at　once；　to　Force　an　absolute　conquest　over　his　own　mutinous
and　indisposed　faculties。　　Such　as　know　their　members　to　be　naturally
obedient；　need　take　no　other　care　but　only　to　counterplot　their
fantasies。

The　indocile　liberty　of　this　member　is　very　remarkable；　so　importunately
unruly　in　its　tumidity　and　impatience；　when　we　do　not　require　it；　and　so
unse