a death in the desert-第5章
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last。 Everett had been a stopgap all his life。 He remembered
going through a looking glass labyrinth when he was a boy and
trying gallery after gallery; only at every turn to bump his nose
against his own facewhich; indeed; was not his own; but his
brother's。 No matter what his mission; east or west; by land or
sea; he was sure to find himself employed in his brother's
business; one of the tributary lives which helped to swell the
shining current of Adriance Hilgarde's。 It was not the first
time that his duty had been to comfort; as best he could; one of
the broken things his brother's imperious speed had cast aside
and forgotten。 He made no attempt to analyze the situation or to
state it in exact terms; but he felt Katharine Gaylord's need for
him; and he accepted it as a commission from his brother to help
this woman to die。 Day by day he felt her demands on him grow
more imperious; her need for him grow more acute and positive;
and day by day he felt that in his peculiar relation to her his
own individuality played a smaller and smaller part。 His power
to minister to her comfort; he saw; lay solely in his link with
his brother's life。 He understood all that his physical
resemblance meant to her。 He knew that she sat by him always
watching for some common trick of gesture; some familiar play of
expression; some illusion of light and shadow; in which he should
seem wholly Adriance。 He knew that she lived upon this and that
her disease fed upon it; that it sent shudders of remembrance
through her and that in the exhaustion which followed this
turmoil of her dying senses; she slept deep and sweet and
dreamed of youth and art and days in a certain old Florentine
garden; and not of bitterness and death。
The question which most perplexed him was; 〃How much shall I
know? How much does she wish me to know?〃 A few days after his
first meeting with Katharine Gaylord; he had cabled his brother
to write her。 He had merely said that she was mortally ill; he
could depend on Adriance to say the right thingthat was a part
of his gift。 Adriance always said not only the right thing; but
the opportune; graceful; exquisite thing。 His phrases took the
color of the moment and the then…present condition; so that they
never savored of perfunctory compliment or frequent usage。 He
always caught the lyric essence of the moment; the poetic
suggestion of every situation。 Moreover; he usually did the
right thing; the opportune; graceful; exquisite thingexcept;
when he did very cruel thingsbent upon making people happy
when their existence touched his; just as he insisted that his
material environment should be beautiful; lavishing upon those
near him all the warmth and radiance of his rich nature; all the
homage of the poet and troubadour; and; when they were no longer
near; forgettingfor that also was a part of Adriance's gift。
Three weeks after Everett had sent his cable; when he made
his daily call at the gaily painted ranch house; he found
Katharine laughing like a schoolgirl。 〃Have you ever thought;〃
she said; as he entered the music room; 〃how much these seances
of ours are like Heine's 'Florentine Nights;' except that I don't
give you an opportunity to monopolize the conversation as Heine
did?〃 She held his hand longer than usual; as she greeted him;
and looked searchingly up into his face。 〃You are the kindest
man living; the kindest;〃 she added; softly。
Everett's gray face colored faintly as he drew his hand
away; for he felt that this time she was looking at him and not
at a whimsical caricature of his brother。 〃Why; what have I done
now?〃 he asked; lamely。 〃I can't remember having sent you any
stale candy or champagne since yesterday。〃
She drew a letter with a foreign postmark from between
the leaves of a book and held it out; smiling。 〃You got him to
write it。 Don't say you didn't; for it came direct; you see; and
the last address I gave him was a place in Florida。 This deed
shall be remembered of you when I am with the just in Paradise。
But one thing you did not ask him to do; for you didn't know about
it。 He has sent me his latest work; the new sonata; the most
ambitious thing he has ever done; and you are to play it for me
directly; though it looks horribly intricate。 But first for the
letter; I think you would better read it aloud to me。〃
Everett sat down in a low chair facing the window seat in
which she reclined with a barricade of pillows behind her。 He
opened the letter; his lashes half…veiling his kind eyes; and saw
to his satisfaction that it was a long onewonderfully tactful
and tender; even for Adriance; who was tender with his valet and
his stable boy; with his old gondolier and the beggar…women who
prayed to the saints for him。
The letter was from Granada; written in the Alhambra; as he
sat by the fountain of the Patio di Lindaraxa。 The air was
heavy; with the warm fragrance of the South and full of the sound
of splashing; running water; as it had been in a certain old
garden in Florence; long ago。 The sky was one great turquoise;
heated until it glowed。 The wonderful Moorish arches threw
graceful blue shadows all about him。 He had sketched an outline
of them on the margin of his notepaper。 The subtleties of Arabic
decoration had cast an unholy spell over him; and the brutal
exaggerations of Gothic art were a bad dream; easily forgotten。
The Alhambra itself had; from the first; seemed perfectly
familiar to him; and he knew that he must have trod that court;
sleek and brown and obsequious; centuries before Ferdinand rode
into Andalusia。 The letter was full of confidences about his
work; and delicate allusions to their old happy days of study and
comradeship; and of her own work; still so warmly remembered and
appreciatively discussed everywhere he went。
As Everett folded the letter he felt that Adriance had
divined the thing needed and had risen to it in his own wonderful
way。 The letter was consistently egotistical and seemed to him
even a trifle patronizing; yet it was just what she had
wanted。 A strong realization of his brother's charm and intensity
and power came over him; he felt the breath of that whirlwind of
flame in which Adriance passed; consuming all in his path; and
himself even more resolutely than he consumed others。 Then he
looked down at this white; burnt…out brand that lay before him。
〃Like him; isn't it?〃 she said; quietly。
〃I think I can scarcely answer his letter; but when you see
him next you can do that for me。 I want you to tell him many
things for me; yet they can all be summed up in this: I want him
to grow wholly into his best and greatest self; even at the cost
of the dear boyishness that is half his charm to you and me。 Do
you understand me?〃
〃I know perfectly well what you mean;〃 answered Everett;
thoughtfully。 〃I have often felt so about him myself。 And yet
it's difficult to prescribe for those fellows; so little makes;
so little mars。〃
Katharine raised herself upon her elbow; and her face
flushed with feverish earnestness。 〃Ah; but it is the waste of
himself that I mean; his lashing himself out on stupid and
uncomprehending people until they take him at their own estimate。
He can kindle marble; strike fire from putty; but is it worth
what it costs him?〃
〃Come; come;〃 expostulated Everett; alarmed at her excitement。
〃Where is the new sonata