the blue flower-第15章
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Keene's walks； no guilt in his moods。 But there is something
very strange。 I cannot form a judgment yet as to what we should
do。 We must wait a few days。 It will do no harm to be patient。
Indeed； I have promised not to judge； not to speak of it； until a
certain time。 Are you satisfied？〃
〃This is a curious story；〃 said he； 〃and I am puzzled by
it。 But I trust you； I agree to wait； though I am far from
satisfied。〃
Our second expedition was appointed for the following
Saturday。 Keene was hungry for it； and I was almost as eager；
desiring to penetrate as quickly as possible into the heart of
the affair。 Already a conviction in regard to it was pressing
upon me； and I resolved to let him talk； this time； as freely
as he would； without interruption or denial。
When we clambered up on Spy Rock； he was more subdued and
reserved than he had been the first time。 For a while he
talked little； but scanned view with wide； shining eyes。 Then
he began to tell me stories of the places that we could
seestrange stories of domestic calamity； and social conflict；
and eccentric passion； and hidden crime。
〃Do you remember Hawthorne's story of 'The Minister's
Black Veil？' It is the best comment on human life that ever
was written。 Everyone has something to hide。 The surface of
life is a mask。 The substance of life is a secret。 All
humanity wears the black veil。 But it is not impenetrable。
No； it is transparent； if you find the right point of view。
Here； on Spy Rock； I have found it。 I have learned how to
look through the veil。 I can see； not by the light…rays only；
but by the rays which are colourless； imperceptible；
irresistible the rays of the unknown quantity； which penetrate
everywhere。 I can see how men down in the great city are
weaving their nets of selfishness and falsehood； and calling
them industrial enterprises or political combinations。 I can
see how the wheels of society are moved by the hidden springs
of avarice and greed and rivalry。 I can see how children
drink in the fables of religion； without understanding them；
and how prudent men repeat them without believing them。 I can
see how the illusions of love appear and vanish； and how men and
women swear that their dreams are eternal； even while they fade。
I can see how poor people blind themselves and deceive each
other； calling selfishness devotion； and bondage contentment。
Down at Hilltop yonder I can see how Dorothy Ward and John
Graham； without knowing it；without meaning it〃
〃Stop； man！〃 I cried。 〃Stop； before you say what can
never be unsaid。 You know it is not true。 These are
nightmare visions that ride you。 Not from Spy Rock nor from
anywhere else can you see anything at Hilltop that is not
honest and pure and loyal。 Come down； now； and let us go
home。 You will see better there than here。〃
〃I think not；〃 said he； 〃but I will come。 Yes； of course；
I am bound to come。 But let me have a few minutes here alone。
Go you down along the path a little way slowly。 I will follow
you in a quarter of an hour。 And remember we are to be here
together once more！〃
Once more！ Yes； and then what must be done？
How was this strange case to be dealt with so as to save all
the actors； as far as possible； from needless suffering？ That
Keene's mind was disordered at least three of us suspected
already。 But to me alone was the nature and seat of the
disorder known。 How make the others understand it？ They
might easily conceive it to be something different from the
fact； some actual lesion of the brain； an incurable insanity。
But this it was not。 As yet； at least； he was no patient for
a mad…house： it would be unjust； probably it would be
impossible to have him committed。 But on the other hand they
might take it too lightly； as the result of overwork； or
perhaps of the use of some narcotic。 To me it was certain
that the trouble went far deeper than this。 It lay in the
man's moral nature； in the error of his central will。 It was
the working out； in abnormal form； but with essential truth；
of his chosen and cherished ideal of life。 Spy Rock was
something more than the seat of his delusion。 it was the
expression of his temperament。 The solitary trail that led
thither was the symbol of his search for happinessalone；
forgetful of life's lowlier ties； looking down upon the world in
the cold abstraction of scornful knowledge。 How was such a man
to be brought back to the real life whose first condition is the
acceptance of a limited outlook； the willingness to live by
trust as much as by sight； the power of finding joy and peace
in the things that we feel are the best； even though we cannot
prove them nor explain them？ How could he ever bring anything
but discord and sorrow to those who were bound to him？
This was what perplexed and oppressed me。 I needed all
the time until the next Saturday to think the question
through； to decide what should be done。 But the matter was
taken out of my hands。 After our latest expedition Keene's
dark mood returned upon him with sombre intensity。 Dull；
restless； indifferent； half…contemptuous； he seemed to
withdraw into himself； observing those around him with
half…veiled glances； as if he had nothing better to do and yet
found it a tiresome pastime。 He was like a man waiting
wearily at a railway station for his train。 Nothing pleased
him。 He responded to nothing。
Graham controlled his indignation by a constant effort。
A dozen times he was on the point of speaking out。 But he
restrained himself and played fair。 Dorothy's suffering could
not be hidden。 Her loyalty was strained to the breaking
point。 She was too tender and true for anger； but she was
wounded almost beyond endurance。
Keene's restlessness increased。 The intervening Thursday
was Thanksgiving Day； most of the boys had gone home； the
school had holiday。 Early in the morning he came to me。
〃Let us take our walk to…day。 We have no work to do。
Come！ In this clear； frosty air； Spy Rock will be glorious！〃
〃No；〃 I answered； 〃this is no day for such an expedition。
This is the home day。 Stay here and be happy with us all。
You owe this to love and friendship。 You owe it to Dorothy
Ward。〃
〃Owe it？〃 said he。 〃Speaking of debts； I think each man
is his own preferred creditor。 But of course you can do as
you like about to…day。 Tomorrow or Saturday will answer just
as well for our third walk together。〃
About noon he came down from his room and went to the
piano； where Dorothy was sitting。 They talked together in low
tones。 Then she stood up； with pale face and wide…open eyes。
She laid her hand on his arm。
〃Do not go； Edward。 For the last time I beg you to stay
with us to…day。〃
He lifted her hand and held it for an instant。 Then he
bowed； and let it fall。
〃You will excuse me； Dorothy； I am sure。 I feel the need
of exercise。 Absolutely I must go； good…byuntil the
evening。〃
The hours of that day passed heavily for all of us。 There
was a sense of disaster in the air。 Something irretrievable
had fallen from our circle。 But no one dared to name it。
Night closed in upon the house with a changing sky。 All the
stars were hidden。 The wind whimpered and then shouted。 The
rain swept down in spiteful volleys； deepening at last into a
fierce； steady discharge。 Nine o'clock； ten o'clock passed；
and Keene did not return。 By midnight we were certain that
some accident had befallen him。
It was impossible to go up into the mountains in that
pitch…darkness of furious tempest。 But we could send down to
the village for men to organise a search…party and to bring
the doctor。 At daybreak we set outsome of the men going
with the Master along Black Brook； others in different
directions to make sure of a complete searchGraham and the
doctor and I following the secret trail that I knew only too
well。 Dorothy insisted that she must go。 She would bear no
denial； declaring that it would be worse for her alone at
home； than if we took her with us。
It was incredible how the path seemed to lengthen。 Graham
watched the girl's every step； helping her over the difficult
places； pushing aside the tangled branches
