the governess-第14章

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proofs　of　its　being　such　a　passion　as　he　had　no　regard　for；　since　it　was　impossible　for　any　one　to　gain　or　increase　his　love　by　an　action　which　at　the　same　time　lessened　his　esteem。'　　This　was　so　exactly　Caelia's　own　way　of　thinking；　that　she　could　not　but　assent　to　what　he　said。

But　just　as　they　were　coming　out　of　the　arbour；　Chloe；　unseen　by　them；　passed　by；　and　from　seeing　him　kiss　her　hand；　and　the　complacency　of　Caelia's　look；　it　was　easy　for　her　to　guess　what　had　been　the　result　of　their　private　conference。　　She　could　not　however　help　indulging　her　curiosity；　so　far　as　to　walk　on　the　other　side　of　a　thick　yew　hedge；　to　listen　to　their　discourse；　and　as　they　walked　on；　she　heard　Sempronius　entreat　Caelia　to　be　cheerful；　and　think　no　more　of　her　treacherous　friend；　whose　wickedness　he　doubted　not　would　sufficiently　punish　itself。　　She　then　heard　Caelia　say；　'I　cannot　bear；　Sempronius；　to　hear　you　speak　so　hardly　of　my　Chloe。　　Say　that　you　forgive　her；　and　I　will　indeed　be　cheerful。'

Nothing　upon　earth　can　be　conceived　so　wretched　as　poor　Chloe；　for　on　the　first　moment　that　she　suffered　herself　to　reflect　on　what　she　had　done；　she　thoroughly　repented；　and　heartily　detested　herself　for　such　baseness。　　She　went　directly　into　the　garden　in　hopes　of　meeting　Sempronius；　to　have　thrown　herself　at　his　feet；　confessed　her　treachery；　and　to　have　begged　him　never　to　have　mentioned　it　to　Caelia；　but　now　she　was　conscious　her　repentance　would　come　too　late；　and　he　would　despise　her；　if　possible　still　more；　for　such　a　recantation；　after　her　knowledge　of　what　had　passed　between　him　and　Caelia。

She　could　indeed　have　gone　to　him；　and　not　have　owned　what　she　had　seen　or　heard；　but　now　her　abhorrence　of　even　the　appearance　of　treachery　or　cunning　was　so　great；　that　she　could　not　bear　to　add　the　smallest　grain　of　falsehood　or　deceit　to　the　weight　of　her　guilt；　which　was　already　almost　insupportable：　　and　should　she　tell　him　of　her　repentance；　with　a　confession　of　her　knowledge　of　his　engagement　with　Caelia；　it　would　（as　has　been　before　observed）　appear　both　servile　and　insincere。

Nothing　could　now　appear　so　altered　as　the　whole　face　of　this　once　happy　family。　　Sempronius　as　much　as　possible　shunned　the　sight　of　Chloe；　for　as　she　was　the　cause　of　all　the　confusion　amongst　them；　he　had　almost　an　aversion　to　her。　　Though　he　was　not　of　an　implacable　temper；　yet；　as　the　injury　was　intended　to　one　he　sincerely　loved；　he　found　it　much　harder　to　forgive　it；　than　if　it　had　even　succeeded　against　himself；　and　as　he　still　looked　upon　Chloe　as　the　cause　of　melancholy　in　his　dear　Caelia；　he　could　hardly　have　any　patience　with　her。

No　words　can　describe　the　various　passions　which　were　expressed　in　the　sad　countenance　of　Chloe；　when　first　she　met　her　friend。　　They　were　both　afraid　of　speaking。　　Shame；　and　the　fear　of　being　（and　with　too　good　reason）　suspected　of　insincerity；　withheld　Chloe；　and　an　unwillingness　to　accuse　or　hurt　her　friend　withheld　the　gentle　Caelia。　　She　sometimes　indeed　thought　she　saw　repentance　in　Chloe's　face；　and　wished　for　nothing　more　than　to　seal　her　pardon。　　But　till　it　was　asked；　she　was　in　doubt　（from　what　had　passed）　whether　such　pardon　and　proffered　reconciliation　might　not　be　rejected。　　She　knew　that　her　friend's　passions　were　naturally　stronger　than　hers；　and　she　therefore　trembled　at　the　consequences　of　coming　to　an　explanation。

But　there　was　hardly　a　greater　sufferer　in　this　scene　of　confusion　than　the　poor　old　Lady　Amanda。　　She　saw　a　sort　of　horror　and　wildness　in　the　face　of　Chloe；　and　in　Caelia's　a　settled　melancholy；　and　such　an　unusual　reserve　in　both　towards　each　other；　as　well　as　to　herself；　as　quite　astonished　her。

Sempronius　came　indeed　to　the　house　as　often　as　usual；　but　in　his　countenance　she　could　perceive　a　sort　of　anger　and　concern　which　perfectly　frightened　her。　　But　as　they　did　not　speak　to　her；　she　could　not　bring　herself　to　ask　the　cause　of　this　woeful　change；　for　fear　of　hearing　something　too　bad　to　bear。

Caelia　had　absolutely　refused　granting　to　Sempronius　leave　to　ask　her　aunt's　consent；　till　she　should　come　to　some　explanation　with　Chloe；　which　seemed　every　day　farther　off　than　ever。

The　great　perturbation　of　Chloe's　mind　threw　her　into　a　disorder　not　many　degrees　short　of　madness；　and　at　last　she　was　seized　with　a　violent　fever　so　as　to　keep　her　bed。　　She　said　she　could　not　bear　to　look　on　Amanda；　but　begged　Caelia　to　be　with　her　as　much　as　possible；　which　she　did；　in　hopes　of　bringing　herself　to　ease　her　mind；　by　speaking　to　her　of　what　had　given　them　all　this　torment。

Caelia　watched　with　her　night　and　day　for　three　days；　when　the　physician　who　attended　her　pronounced　that　there　was　no　hope　of　her　life。　　Caelia　could　not　any　longer　bear　to　stay　in　the　room；　and　went　downstairs；　expecting　every　moment　to　hear　she　was　expired。

Chloe　soon　perceived　by　Caelia's　abrupt　leaving　the　room；　and　the　looks　of　those　who　were　left　in　it；　that　her　fate　was　pronounced；　which；　instead　of　sinking　her　spirits；　and　making　her　dejected；　gave　a　tranquillity　to　her　mind；　for　she　thought　within　herself；　'I　shall　now　make　my　dear　cousin　happy；　by　removing　out　of　her　way　an　object　that　must　embitter　all　her　joy；　and　now　likewise；　as　she　is　convinced　I　am　on　my　death…bed；　she　will　once　more　believe　me　capable　of　speaking　truth；　and　will；　in　the　manner　I　could　wish；　receive　my　sincere　repentance。'　　Then　sending　for　Caelia　up　to　her　bedside；　she　in　a　weak　voice；　with　hardly　strength　for　utterance；　spoke　in　this　manner：　　'My　dear　Caelia；　though　you　know　me　to　be　a　worthless　base　wretch；　yet　do　not　think　so　hardly　of　me；　as　to　imagine　I　would　deceive　you　with　my　last　breath。　　Believe　me　then　when　I　tell　you；　that　I　sincerely　repent　of　my　treachery　towards　you；　and　as　sincerely　rejoice　that　it　has　in　reality　been　the　cause　of　your　happiness　with　Sempronius。　　Tell　him　this；　and　then；　perhaps；　he　will　not　hate　my　memory。'　　Here　she　fainted　away；　and　they　forced　Caelia　out　of　the　room；　thinking　her　breath　was　for　ever　flown。　　But　in　some　time　she　came　again　to　herself；　and　cried　out；　'What！　would　not　my　dear　Caelia　say　that　she　forgave　me？　　Methinks　I　would　not　die；　till　I　had　obtained　her　pardon。　　She　is　too　good　to　refuse　her　friend　this　last　request。'　　Her　attendants　then　told　her；　that　seeing　her　faint　away；　they　had　forced　Caelia　out　of　the　room；　and　they　begged　her　to　try　to　compose　herself；　for　they　were　sure　that　seeing　her　friend　again；　at　this　time；　would　only　disturb　her　mind；　and　do　her　an　injury。

Chloe；　from　the　vent　she　had　given　her　grief　in　speaking　to　Caelia；　found　herself　something　more　easy　and　composed；　and　desiring　the　room　to　be　made　perfectly　quiet；　she　fell　into　a　gentle　sleep；　which　lasted　two　hours；　and　when　she　awaked　she　found　herself　so　much　better；　that　those　about　her　were　convinced；　from　her　composed　manner　of　speaking；　that　she　was　now　able　to　bear　another　interview。

They　again　called　for　Caelia；　and　told　her　of　her　cousin's　amendment。　　She　flew　with　all　speed　to　her　chamber；　and　the　moment　she　entered；　Chloe　cried　out；　'Can　you　forgive　me；　Caelia？'　　'Yes；　with　the　greatest　joy　and　sincerity　imaginable；　my　dearest　Chloe；'　answered　Caelia；　'and　never　let　it　be　again　mentioned　or　remembered。'

The　sudden　recovery　of　Chloe　was　almost　incredible；　for　in　less　than　a　week　she　was　able　to　quit　both　her　bed　and　room；　and　go　into　her　aunt's　chamber。　　The　good　old　lady　shed　tears　of　joy；　to　see　such　a　return　of　Chloe's　health；　and　of　cheerfulness　in　the　family；　and　was　perfectly　contented；　now　she　saw　their　melancholy　removed；　not　to　inquire　into　the　late　cause　of　it；　for　fear　of　renewing　their　trouble　even　one　moment　by　the　remembrance　of　it。

Sempronius；　in　the　meantime；　upon　some　affairs　of　his　duty　in　the　army；　had　been　called　away；　and　was　absent　the　whole　time　of　Chloe's　illness；　and　was　not　yet　returned。　　Caelia　spent　almost　her　whole　time　with　Chloe；　but　three　weeks　passed　on；　and　they　were　often　alone；　yet　they　had　never　once　mentioned　the　name　of　Sempronius；　which　laid　Caelia　still　under　the　greatest　difficulty　how　to　act；　so　as　to　avoid　giving　her　friend　any　uneasiness；　and　yet　not　disoblige　Sempronius；　for　she　had　promised　him　at　his　departure；　that　she　would　give