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even made a few new ones and threw at him。  They hurled at him all the 

private family jokes belonging to our set; and which must have been 

perfectly unintelligible to him。  And then; unable to stand their brutal 

jibes any longer; he turned round on them; and they saw his face!



I was glad to notice that they had sufficient decency left in them to 

look very foolish。  They explained to him that they had thought he was 

some one they knew。  They said they hoped he would not deem them capable 

of so insulting any one except a personal friend of their own。



Of course their having mistaken him for a friend excused it。  I remember 

Harris telling me once of a bathing experience he had at Boulogne。  He 

was swimming about there near the beach; when he felt himself suddenly 

seized by the neck from behind; and forcibly plunged under water。  He 

struggled violently; but whoever had got hold of him seemed to be a 

perfect Hercules in strength; and all his efforts to escape were 

unavailing。  He had given up kicking; and was trying to turn his thoughts 

upon solemn things; when his captor released him。



He regained his feet; and looked round for his would…be murderer。  The 

assassin was standing close by him; laughing heartily; but the moment he 

caught sight of Harris's face; as it emerged from the water; he started 

back and seemed quite concerned。



〃I really beg your pardon;〃 he stammered confusedly; 〃but I took you for 

a friend of mine!〃



Harris thought it was lucky for him the man had not mistaken him for a 

relation; or he would probably have been drowned outright。



Sailing is a thing that wants knowledge and practice too … though; as a 

boy; I did not think so。  I had an idea it came natural to a body; like 

rounders and touch。  I knew another boy who held this view likewise; and 

so; one windy day; we thought we would try the sport。  We were stopping 

down at Yarmouth; and we decided we would go for a trip up the Yare。  We 

hired a sailing boat at the yard by the bridge; and started off。  〃It's 

rather a rough day;〃 said the man to us; as we put off: 〃better take in a 

reef and luff sharp when you get round the bend。〃



We said we would make a point of it; and left him with a cheery 〃Good…

morning;〃 wondering to ourselves how you 〃luffed;〃 and where we were to 

get a 〃reef〃 from; and what we were to do with it when we had got it。



We rowed until we were out of sight of the town; and then; with a wide 

stretch of water in front of us; and the wind blowing a perfect hurricane 

across it; we felt that the time had come to commence operations。



Hector … I think that was his name … went on pulling while I unrolled the 

sail。  It seemed a complicated job; but I accomplished it at length; and 

then came the question; which was the top end?



By a sort of natural instinct; we; of course; eventually decided that the 

bottom was the top; and set to work to fix it upside…down。  But it was a 

long time before we could get it up; either that way or any other way。  

The impression on the mind of the sail seemed to be that we were playing 

at funerals; and that I was the corpse and itself was the winding…sheet。



When it found that this was not the idea; it hit me over the head with 

the boom; and refused to do anything。



〃Wet it;〃 said Hector; 〃drop it over and get it wet。〃



He said people in ships always wetted the sails before they put them up。  

So I wetted it; but that only made matters worse than they were before。  

A dry sail clinging to your legs and wrapping itself round your head is 

not pleasant; but; when the sail is sopping wet; it becomes quite vexing。



We did get the thing up at last; the two of us together。  We fixed it; 

not exactly upside down … more sideways like … and we tied it up to the 

mast with the painter; which we cut off for the purpose。



That the boat did not upset I simply state as a fact。  Why it did not 

upset I am unable to offer any reason。  I have often thought about the 

matter since; but I have never succeeded in arriving at any satisfactory 

explanation of the phenomenon。



Possibly the result may have been brought about by the natural obstinacy 

of all things in this world。  The boat may possibly have come to the 

conclusion; judging from a cursory view of our behaviour; that we had 

come out for a morning's suicide; and had thereupon determined to 

disappoint us。  That is the only suggestion I can offer。



By clinging like grim death to the gunwale; we just managed to keep 

inside the boat; but it was exhausting work。  Hector said that pirates 

and other seafaring people generally lashed the rudder to something or 

other; and hauled in the main top…jib; during severe squalls; and thought 

we ought to try to do something of the kind; but I was for letting her 

have her head to the wind。



As my advice was by far the easiest to follow; we ended by adopting it; 

and contrived to embrace the gunwale and give her her head。



The boat travelled up stream for about a mile at a pace I have never 

sailed at since; and don't want to again。  Then; at a bend; she heeled 

over till half her sail was under water。  Then she righted herself by a 

miracle and flew for a long low bank of soft mud。



That mud…bank saved us。  The boat ploughed its way into the middle of it 

and then stuck。  Finding that we were once more able to move according to 

our ideas; instead of being pitched and thrown about like peas in a 

bladder; we crept forward; and cut down the sail。



We had had enough sailing。  We did not want to overdo the thing and get a 

surfeit of it。  We had had a sail … a good all…round exciting; 

interesting sail … and now we thought we would have a row; just for a 

change like。



We took the sculls and tried to push the boat off the mud; and; in doing 

so; we broke one of the sculls。  After that we proceeded with great 

caution; but they were a wretched old pair; and the second one cracked 

almost easier than the first; and left us helpless。



The mud stretched out for about a hundred yards in front of us; and 

behind us was the water。  The only thing to be done was to sit and wait 

until someone came by。



It was not the sort of day to attract people out on the river; and it was 

three hours before a soul came in sight。  It was an old fisherman who; 

with immense difficulty; at last rescued us; and we were towed back in an 

ignominious fashion to the boat…yard。



What between tipping the man who had brought us home; and paying for the 

broken sculls; and for having been out four hours and a half; it cost us 

a pretty considerable number of weeks' pocket…money; that sail。  But we 

learned experience; and they say that is always cheap at any price。









CHAPTER XVI。





READING。 … WE ARE TOWED BY STEAM LAUNCH。 … IRRITATING BEHAVIOUR OF SMALL 

BOATS。 … HOW THEY GET IN THE WAY OF STEAM LAUNCHES。 … GEORGE AND HARRIS 

AGAIN SHIRK THEIR WORK。 … RATHER A HACKNEYED STORY。 … STREATLEY AND 

GORING。



WE came in sight of Reading about eleven。  The river is dirty and dismal 

here。  One does not linger in the neighbourhood of Reading。  The town 

itself is a famous old place; dating from the dim days of King Ethelred; 

when the Danes anchored their warships in the Kennet; and started from 

Reading to ravage all the land of Wessex; and here Ethelred and his 

brother Alfred fought and defeated them; Ethelred doing the praying and 

Alfred the fighting。



In later years; Reading seems to have been regarded as a handy place to 

run down to; when matters were becoming unpleasant in London。  Parliament 

generally rushed off to Reading whenever there was a plague on at 

Westminster; and; in 1625; the Law followed suit; and all the courts were 

held at Reading。  It must have been worth while having a mere ordinary 

plague now and then in London to get rid of both the lawyers and the 

Parliament。



During the Pa

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