three men in a boat-第28章

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as　some　say；　on　the　other　bank　at　〃Runningmede；〃　I　decline　to　commit　

myself。　　As　far　as　my　own　personal　opinion　goes；　however；　I　am　inclined　

to　give　weight　to　the　popular　island　theory。　　Certainly；　had　I　been　one　

of　the　Barons；　at　the　time；　I　should　have　strongly　urged　upon　my　comrades　

the　advisability　of　our　getting　such　a　slippery　customer　as　King　John　on　

to　the　island；　where　there　was　less　chance　of　surprises　and　tricks。



There　are　the　ruins　of　an　old　priory　in　the　grounds　of　Ankerwyke　House；　

which　is　close　to　Picnic　Point；　and　it　was　round　about　the　grounds　of　

this　old　priory　that　Henry　VIII。　is　said　to　have　waited　for　and　met　Anne　

Boleyn。　　He　also　used　to　meet　her　at　Hever　Castle　in　Kent；　and　also　

somewhere　near　St。　Albans。　　It　must　have　been　difficult　for　the　people　of　

England　in　those　days　to　have　found　a　spot　where　these　thoughtless　young　

folk　were　NOT　spooning。



Have　you　ever　been　in　a　house　where　there　are　a　couple　courting？　　It　is　

most　trying。　　You　think　you　will　go　and　sit　in　the　drawing…room；　and　you　

march　off　there。　　As　you　open　the　door；　you　hear　a　noise　as　if　somebody　

had　suddenly　recollected　something；　and；　when　you　get　in；　Emily　is　over　

by　the　window；　full　of　interest　in　the　opposite　side　of　the　road；　and　

your　friend；　John　Edward；　is　at　the　other　end　of　the　room　with　his　whole　

soul　held　in　thrall　by　photographs　of　other　people's　relatives。



〃Oh！〃　you　say；　pausing　at　the　door；　〃I　didn't　know　anybody　was　here。〃



〃Oh！　didn't　you？〃　says　Emily；　coldly；　in　a　tone　which　implies　that　she　

does　not　believe　you。



You　hang　about　for　a　bit；　then　you　say：



〃It's　very　dark。　　Why　don't　you　light　the　gas？〃



John　Edward　says；　〃Oh！〃　he　hadn't　noticed　it；　and　Emily　says　that　papa　

does　not　like　the　gas　lit　in　the　afternoon。



You　tell　them　one　or　two　items　of　news；　and　give　them　your　views　and　

opinions　on　the　Irish　question；　but　this　does　not　appear　to　interest　

them。　　All　they　remark　on　any　subject　is；　〃Oh！〃　　〃Is　it？〃　　〃Did　he？〃　　

〃Yes；〃　and　〃You　don't　say　so！〃　　And；　after　ten　minutes　of　such　style　of　

conversation；　you　edge　up　to　the　door；　and　slip　out；　and　are　surprised　to　

find　that　the　door　immediately　closes　behind　you；　and　shuts　itself；　

without　your　having　touched　it。



Half　an　hour　later；　you　think　you　will　try　a　pipe　in　the　conservatory。　　

The　only　chair　in　the　place　is　occupied　by　Emily；　and　John　Edward；　if　the　

language　of　clothes　can　be　relied　upon；　has　evidently　been　sitting　on　the　

floor。　　They　do　not　speak；　but　they　give　you　a　look　that　says　all　that　

can　be　said　in　a　civilised　community；　and　you　back　out　promptly　and　shut　

the　door　behind　you。



You　are　afraid　to　poke　your　nose　into　any　room　in　the　house　now；　so；　

after　walking　up　and　down　the　stairs　for　a　while；　you　go　and　sit　in　your　

own　bedroom。　　This　becomes　uninteresting；　however；　after　a　time；　and　so　

you　put　on　your　hat　and　stroll　out　into　the　garden。　　You　walk　down　the　

path；　and　as　you　pass　the　summer…house　you　glance　in；　and　there　are　those　

two　young　idiots；　huddled　up　into　one　corner　of　it；　and　they　see　you；　and　

are　evidently　under　the　idea　that；　for　some　wicked　purpose　of　your　own；　

you　are　following　them　about。



〃Why　don't　they　have　a　special　room　for　this　sort　of　thing；　and　make　

people　keep　to　it？〃　you　mutter；　and　you　rush　back　to　the　hall　and　get　

your　umbrella　and　go　out。



It　must　have　been　much　like　this　when　that　foolish　boy　Henry　VIII。　was　

courting　his　little　Anne。　　People　in　Buckinghamshire　would　have　come　upon　

them　unexpectedly　when　they　were　mooning　round　Windsor　and　Wraysbury；　and　

have　exclaimed；　〃Oh！　you　here！〃　and　Henry　would　have　blushed　and　said；　

〃Yes；　he'd　just　come　over　to　see　a　man；〃　and　Anne　would　have　said；　〃Oh；　

I'm　so　glad　to　see　you！　　Isn't　it　funny？　　I've　just　met　Mr。　Henry　VIII。　

in　the　lane；　and　he's　going　the　same　way　I　am。〃



Then　those　people　would　have　gone　away　and　said　to　themselves：　〃Oh！　we'd　

better　get　out　of　here　while　this　billing　and　cooing　is　on。　　We'll　go　

down　to　Kent。〃



And　they　would　go　to　Kent；　and　the　first　thing　they　would　see　in　Kent；　

when　they　got　there；　would　be　Henry　and　Anne　fooling　round　Hever　Castle。



〃Oh；　drat　this！〃　they　would　have　said。　　〃Here；　let's　go　away。　　I　can't　

stand　any　more　of　it。　　Let's　go　to　St。　Albans　…　nice　quiet　place；　St。　

Albans。〃



And　when　they　reached　St。　Albans；　there　would　be　that　wretched　couple；　

kissing　under　the　Abbey　walls。　　Then　these　folks　would　go　and　be　pirates　

until　the　marriage　was　over。



From　Picnic　Point　to　Old　Windsor　Lock　is　a　delightful　bit　of　the　river。　　

A　shady　road；　dotted　here　and　there　with　dainty　little　cottages；　runs　by　

the　bank　up　to　the　〃Bells　of　Ouseley；〃　a　picturesque　inn；　as　most　up…

river　inns　are；　and　a　place　where　a　very　good　glass　of　ale　may　be　drunk　…　

so　Harris　says；　and　on　a　matter　of　this　kind　you　can　take　Harris's　word。　　

Old　Windsor　is　a　famous　spot　in　its　way。　　Edward　the　Confessor　had　a　

palace　here；　and　here　the　great　Earl　Godwin　was　proved　guilty　by　the　

justice　of　that　age　of　having　encompassed　the　death　of　the　King's　

brother。　　Earl　Godwin　broke　a　piece　of　bread　and　held　it　in　his　hand。



〃If　I　am　guilty；〃　said　the　Earl；　〃may　this　bread　choke　me　when　I　eat　it！〃



Then　he　put　the　bread　into　his　mouth　and　swallowed　it；　and　it　choked　him；　

and　he　died。



After　you　pass　Old　Windsor；　the　river　is　somewhat　uninteresting；　and　does　

not　become　itself　again　until　you　are　nearing　Boveney。　　George　and　I　

towed　up　past　the　Home　Park；　which　stretches　along　the　right　bank　from　

Albert　to　Victoria　Bridge；　and　as　we　were　passing　Datchet；　George　asked　

me　if　I　remembered　our　first　trip　up　the　river；　and　when　we　landed　at　

Datchet　at　ten　o'clock　at　night；　and　wanted　to　go　to　bed。



I　answered　that　I　did　remember　it。　　It　will　be　some　time　before　I　forget　

it。



It　was　the　Saturday　before　the　August　Bank　Holiday。　　We　were　tired　and　

hungry；　we　same　three；　and　when　we　got　to　Datchet　we　took　out　the　hamper；　

the　two　bags；　and　the　rugs　and　coats；　and　such　like　things；　and　started　

off　to　look　for　diggings。　　We　passed　a　very　pretty　little　hotel；　with　

clematis　and　creeper　over　the　porch；　but　there　was　no　honeysuckle　about　

it；　and；　for　some　reason　or　other；　I　had　got　my　mind　fixed　on　

honeysuckle；　and　I　said：



〃Oh；　don't　let's　go　in　there！　　Let's　go　on　a　bit　further；　and　see　if　

there　isn't　one　with　honeysuckle　over　it。〃



So　we　went　on　till　we　came　to　another　hotel。　　That　was　a　very　nice　hotel；　

too；　and　it　had　honey…suckle　on　it；　round　at　the　side；　but　Harris　did　not　

like　the　look　of　a　man　who　was　leaning　against　the　front　door。　　He　said　

he　didn't　look　a　nice　man　at　all；　and　he　wore　ugly　boots：　so　we　went　on　

further。　　We　went　a　goodish　way　without　coming　across　any　more　hotels；　

and　then　we　met　a　man；　and　asked　him　to　direct　us　to　a　few。



He　said：



〃Why；　you　are　coming　away　from　them。　　You　must　turn　right　round　and　go　

back；　and　then　you　will　come　to　the　Stag。〃



We　said：



〃Oh；　we　had　been　there；　and　didn't　like　it　…　no　honeysuckle　over　it。〃



〃Well；　then；〃　he　said；　〃there's　the　Manor　House；　just　opposite。　　Have　you　

tried　that？〃



Harris　replied　that　we　did　not　want　to　go　there　…　didn't　like　the　looks　

of　a　man　who　was　stopping　there　…　Harris　did　not　like　the　colour　of　his　

hair；　didn't　like　his　boots；　either。



〃Well；　I　don't　know　what　you'll　do；　I'm　sure；〃　said　our　informant；　

〃because　they　are　the　only　two　inns　in　the　place。〃



〃No　other　inns！〃　exclaimed　Harris。



〃None；〃　replied　the　man。



〃What　on　earth　are　we　to　do？〃　cried　Harris。



Then　George　spoke　up。　　He　said　Harris　and　I　could　get　an　hotel　built　for　

us；　if　we　liked；　and　have　some　people　made　to　put　in。　　For　his　part；　he　

was　going　back　to　the　Stag。



The　greatest　minds　never　realise　their　ideals　in　any　matter；　and　Harris　

and　I　sighed　over　the　hollowness　of　all　earthly　desires；　and　followed　

George。



We　t