three men in a boat-第15章

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men　are　able　to　show　our　taste　in　colours；　and　I　think　we　come　out　very　

natty；　if　you　ask　me。　　I　always　like　a　little　red　in　my　things　…　red　and　

black。　　You　know　my　hair　is　a　sort　of　golden　brown；　rather　a　pretty　shade　

I've　been　told；　and　a　dark　red　matches　it　beautifully；　and　then　I　always　

think　a　light…blue　necktie　goes　so　well　with　it；　and　a　pair　of　those　

Russian…leather　shoes　and　a　red　silk　handkerchief　round　the　waist　…　a　

handkerchief　looks　so　much　better　than　a　belt。



Harris　always　keeps　to　shades　or　mixtures　of　orange　or　yellow；　but　I　

don't　think　he　is　at　all　wise　in　this。　　His　complexion　is　too　dark　for　

yellows。　　Yellows　don't　suit　him：　there　can　be　no　question　about　it。　　I　

want　him　to　take　to　blue　as　a　background；　with　white　or　cream　for　relief；　

but；　there！　the　less　taste　a　person　has　in　dress；　the　more　obstinate　he　

always　seems　to　be。　　It　is　a　great　pity；　because　he　will　never　be　a　

success　as　it　is；　while　there　are　one　or　two　colours　in　which　he　might　

not　really　look　so　bad；　with　his　hat　on。



George　has　bought　some　new　things　for　this　trip；　and　I'm　rather　vexed　

about　them。　　The　blazer　is　loud。　　I　should　not　like　George　to　know　that　I　

thought　so；　but　there　really　is　no　other　word　for　it。　　He　brought　it　home　

and　showed　it　to　us　on　Thursday　evening。　　We　asked　him　what　colour　he　

called　it；　and　he　said　he　didn't　know。　　He　didn't　think　there　was　a　name　

for　the　colour。　　The　man　had　told　him　it　was　an　Oriental　design。　　George　

put　it　on；　and　asked　us　what　we　thought　of　it。　　Harris　said　that；　as　an　

object　to　hang　over　a　flower…bed　in　early　spring　to　frighten　the　birds　

away；　he　should　respect　it；　but　that；　considered　as　an　article　of　dress　

for　any　human　being；　except　a　Margate　nigger；　it　made　him　ill。　　George　

got　quite　huffy；　but；　as　Harris　said；　if　he　didn't　want　his　opinion；　why　

did　he　ask　for　it？



What　troubles　Harris　and　myself；　with　regard　to　it；　is　that　we　are　afraid　

it　will　attract　attention　to　the　boat。



Girls；　also；　don't　look　half　bad　in　a　boat；　if　prettily　dressed。　　Nothing　

is　more　fetching；　to　my　thinking；　than　a　tasteful　boating　costume。　　But　a　

〃boating　costume；〃　it　would　be　as　well　if　all　ladies　would　understand；　

ought　to　be　a　costume　that　can　be　worn　in　a　boat；　and　not　merely　under　a　

glass…case。　　It　utterly　spoils　an　excursion　if　you　have　folk　in　the　boat　

who　are　thinking　all　the　time　a　good　deal　more　of　their　dress　than　of　the　

trip。　　It　was　my　misfortune　once　to　go　for　a　water　picnic　with　two　ladies　

of　this　kind。　　We　did　have　a　lively　time！



They　were　both　beautifully　got　up　…　all　lace　and　silky　stuff；　and　

flowers；　and　ribbons；　and　dainty　shoes；　and　light　gloves。　　But　they　were　

dressed　for　a　photographic　studio；　not　for　a　river　picnic。　　They　were　the　

〃boating　costumes〃　of　a　French　fashion…plate。　　It　was　ridiculous；　fooling　

about　in　them　anywhere　near　real　earth；　air；　and　water。



The　first　thing　was　that　they　thought　the　boat　was　not　clean。　　We　dusted　

all　the　seats　for　them；　and　then　assured　them　that　it　was；　but　they　

didn't　believe　us。　　One　of　them　rubbed　the　cushion　with　the　forefinger　of　

her　glove；　and　showed　the　result　to　the　other；　and　they　both　sighed；　and　

sat　down；　with　the　air　of　early　Christian　martyrs　trying　to　make　

themselves　comfortable　up　against　the　stake。　　You　are　liable　to　

occasionally　splash　a　little　when　sculling；　and　it　appeared　that　a　drop　

of　water　ruined　those　costumes。　　The　mark　never　came　out；　and　a　stain　was　

left　on　the　dress　for　ever。



I　was　stroke。　　I　did　my　best。　　I　feathered　some　two　feet　high；　and　I　

paused　at　the　end　of　each　stroke　to　let　the　blades　drip　before　returning　

them；　and　I　picked　out　a　smooth　bit　of　water　to　drop　them　into　again　each　

time。　　（Bow　said；　after　a　while；　that　he　did　not　feel　himself　a　

sufficiently　accomplished　oarsman　to　pull　with　me；　but　that　he　would　sit　

still；　if　I　would　allow　him；　and　study　my　stroke。　　He　said　it　interested　

him。）　　But；　notwithstanding　all　this；　and　try　as　I　would；　I　could　not　

help　an　occasional　flicker　of　water　from　going　over　those　dresses。



The　girls　did　not　complain；　but　they　huddled　up　close　together；　and　set　

their　lips　firm；　and　every　time　a　drop　touched　them；　they　visibly　shrank　

and　shuddered。　　It　was　a　noble　sight　to　see　them　suffering　thus　in　

silence；　but　it　unnerved　me　altogether。　　I　am　too　sensitive。　　I　got　wild　

and　fitful　in　my　rowing；　and　splashed　more　and　more；　the　harder　I　tried　

not　to。



I　gave　it　up　at　last；　I　said　I'd　row　bow。　　Bow　thought　the　arrangement　

would　be　better　too；　and　we　changed　places。　　The　ladies　gave　an　

involuntary　sigh　of　relief　when　they　saw　me　go；　and　quite　brightened　up　

for　a　moment。　　Poor　girls！　they　had　better　have　put　up　with　me。　　The　man　

they　had　got　now　was　a　jolly；　light…hearted；　thick…headed　sort　of　a　chap；　

with　about　as　much　sensitiveness　in　him　as　there　might　be　in　a　

Newfoundland　puppy。　　You　might　look　daggers　at　him　for　an　hour　and　he　

would　not　notice　it；　and　it　would　not　trouble　him　if　he　did。　　He　set　a　

good；　rollicking；　dashing　stroke　that　sent　the　spray　playing　all　over　the　

boat　like　a　fountain；　and　made　the　whole　crowd　sit　up　straight　in　no　

time。　　When　he　spread　more　than　pint　of　water　over　one　of　those　dresses；　

he　would　give　a　pleasant　little　laugh；　and　say：



〃I　beg　your　pardon；　I'm　sure；〃　and　offer　them　his　handkerchief　to　wipe　it　

off　with。



〃Oh；　it's　of　no　consequence；〃　the　poor　girls　would　murmur　in　reply；　and　

covertly　draw　rugs　and　coats　over　themselves；　and　try　and　protect　

themselves　with　their　lace　parasols。



At　lunch　they　had　a　very　bad　time　of　it。　　People　wanted　them　to　sit　on　

the　grass；　and　the　grass　was　dusty；　and　the　tree…trunks；　against　which　

they　were　invited　to　lean；　did　not　appear　to　have　been　brushed　for　weeks；　

so　they　spread　their　handkerchiefs　on　the　ground　and　sat　on　those；　bolt　

upright。　　Somebody；　in　walking　about　with　a　plate　of　beef…steak　pie；　

tripped　up　over　a　root；　and　sent　the　pie　flying。　　None　of　it　went　over　

them；　fortunately；　but　the　accident　suggested　a　fresh　danger　to　them；　and　

agitated　them；　and；　whenever　anybody　moved　about；　after　that；　with　

anything　in　his　hand　that　could　fall　and　make　a　mess；　they　watched　that　

person　with　growing　anxiety　until　he　sat　down　again。



〃Now　then；　you　girls；〃　said　our　friend　Bow　to　them；　cheerily；　after　it　

was　all　over；　〃come　along；　you've　got　to　wash　up！〃



They　didn't　understand　him　at　first。　　When　they　grasped　the　idea；　they　

said　they　feared　they　did　not　know　how　to　wash　up。



〃Oh；　I'll　soon　show　you；〃　he　cried；　〃it's　rare　fun！　　You　lie　down　on　your　

…　I　mean　you　lean　over　the　bank；　you　know；　and　sloush　the　things　about　in　

the　water。〃



The　elder　sister　said　that　she　was　afraid　that　they　hadn't　got　on　dresses　

suited　to　the　work。



〃Oh；　they'll　be　all　right；〃　said　he　light…heartedly；　〃tuck　‘em　up。〃



And　he　made　them　do　it；　too。　　He　told　them　that　that　sort　of　thing　was　

half　the　fun　of　a　picnic。　　They　said　it　was　very　interesting。



Now　I　come　to　think　it　over；　was　that　young　man　as　dense…headed　as　we　

thought？　or　was　he　…　no；　impossible！　there　was　such　a　simple；　child…like　

expression　about　him！



Harris　wanted　to　get　out　at　Hampton　Church；　to　go　and　see　Mrs。　Thomas's　

tomb。



〃Who　is　Mrs。　Thomas？〃　I　asked。



〃How　should　I　know？〃　replied　Harris。　　〃She's　a　lady　that's　got　a　funny　

tomb；　and　I　want　to　see　it。〃



I　objected。　　I　don't　know　whether　it　is　that　I　am　built　wrong；　but　I　

never　did　seem　to　hanker　after　tombstones　myself。　　I　know　that　the　proper　

thing　to　do；　when　you　get　to　a　village　or　town；　is　to　rush　off　to　the　

churchyard；　and　enjoy　the　graves；　but　it　is　a　recreation　that　I　always　

deny　myself。　　I　take　no　interest　in　creeping　round　dim　and　chilly　

churches　behind　wheezy　old　men；　and　reading　epitaphs。　　Not　even　the　sight　

of　a　bit　of　cracked　brass　let　into　a　stone　affords　me　what　I　call　real　

happiness。



I　shock　respectable　sexton