latter-day pamphlets-第25章

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at　in　the　realms　of　Fact　and　Nature　herself；　deep…seeing；　wise　and　courageous　eyes；　that　could　look　through　innumerable　cobweb　veils；　and　detect　what　fact　or　no…fact　lies　at　heart　of　them；how　invaluable　these！　　For；　alas；　it　is　long　since　such　eyes　were　much　in　the　habit　of　looking　steadfastly　at　any　department　of　our　affairs；　and　poor　commonplace　creatures；　helping　themselves　along；　in　the　way　of　makeshift；　from　year　to　year；　in　such　an　element；　do　wonderful　works　indeed。　　Such　creatures；　like　moles；　are　safe　only　underground；　and　their　engineerings　there　become　very　daedalean。　　In　fact；　such　unfortunate　persons　have　no　resource　but　to　become　what　we　call　Pedants；　to　ensconce　themselves　in　a　safe　world　of　habitudes；　of　applicable　or　inapplicable　traditions；　not　coveting；　rather　avoiding　the　general　daylight　of　common…sense；　as　very　extraneous　to　them　and　their　procedure；　by　long　persistence　in　which　course　they　become　Completed　Pedants；　hidebound；　impenetrable；　able　to　_defy_　the　hostile　extraneous　element；　an　alarming　kind　of　men；　Such　men；　left　to　themselves　for　a　century　or　two；　in　any　Colonial；　Foreign；　or　other　Office；　will　make　a　terrible　affair　of　it！

For　the　one　enemy　we　have　in　this　Universe　is　Stupidity；　Darkness　of　Mind；　of　which　darkness；　again；　there　are　many　sources；　every　_sin_　a　source；　and　probably　self…conceit　the　chief　source。　　Darkness　of　mind；　in　every　kind　and　variety；　does　to　a　really　tragic　extent　abound：　　but　of　all　the　kinds　of　darkness；　surely　the　Pedant　darkness；　which　asserts　and　believes　itself　to　be　light；　is　the　most　formidable　to　mankind！　　For　empires　or　for　individuals　there　is　but　one　class　of　men　to　be　trembled　at；　and　that　is　the　Stupid　Class；　the　class　that　cannot　see；　who　alas　are　they　mainly　that　will　not　see。　　A　class　of　mortals　under　which　as　administrators；　kings；　priests；　diplomatists；　&c。；　the　interests　of　mankind　in　every　European　country　have　sunk　overloaded；　as　under　universal　nightmare；　near　to　extinction；　and　indeed　are　at　this　moment　convulsively　writhing；　decided　either　to　throw　off　the　unblessed　superincumbent　nightmare；　or　roll　themselves　and　it　to　the　Abyss。　　Vain　to　reform　Parliament；　to　invent　ballot…boxes；　to　reform　this　or　that；　the　real　Administration；　practical　Management　of　the　Commonwealth；　goes　all　awry；　choked　up　with　long…accumulated　pedantries；　so　that　your　appointed　workers　have　been　reduced　to　work　as　moles；　and　it　is　one　vast　boring　and　counter…boring；　on　the　part　of　eyeless　persons　irreverently　called　stupid；　and　a　daedalean　bewilderment；　writing　〃impossible〃　on　all　efforts　or　proposals；　supervenes。


The　State　itself；　not　in　Downing　Street　alone　but　in　every　department　of　it；　has　altered　much　from　what　it　was　in　past　times；　and　it　will　again　have　to　alter　very　much；　to　alter　I　think　from　top　to　bottom；　if　it　means　to　continue　existing　in　the　times　that　are　now　coming　and　come！

The　State；　left　to　shape　itself　by　dim　pedantries　and　traditions；　without　distinctness　of　conviction；　or　purpose　beyond　that　of　helping　itself　over　the　difficulty　of　the　hour；　has　become；　instead　of　a　luminous　vitality　permeating　with　its　light　all　provinces　of　our　affairs；　a　most　monstrous　agglomerate　of　inanities；　as　little　adapted　for　the　actual　wants　of　a　modern　community　as　the　worst　citizen　need　wish。　　The　thing　it　is　doing　is　by　no　means　the　thing　we　want　to　have　done。　　What　we　want！　　Let　the　dullest　British　man　endeavor　to　raise　in　his　mind　this　question；　and　ask　himself　in　sincerity　what　the　British　Nation　wants　at　this　time。　　Is　it　to　have；　with　endless　jargoning；　debating；　motioning　and　counter…motioning；　a　settlement　effected　between　the　Honorable　Mr。　This　and　the　Honorable　Mr。　That；　as　to　their　respective　pretensions　to　ride　the　high　horse？　　Really　it　is　unimportant　which　of　them　ride　it。　　Going　upon　past　experience　long　continued　now；　I　should　say　with　brevity；　〃Either　of　themNeither　of　them。〃　　If　our　Government　is　to　be　a　No…Government；　what　is　the　matter　who　administers　it？　　Fling　an　orange…skin　into　St。　James's　Street；　let　the　man　it　hits　be　your　man。　　He；　if　you　breed　him　a　little　to　it；　and　tie　the　due　official　bladders　to　his　ankles；　will　do　as　well　as　another　this　sublime　problem　of　balancing　himself　upon　the　vortexes；　with　the　long　loaded…pole　in　his　hands；　and　will；　with　straddling　painful　gestures；　float　hither　and　thither；　walking　the　waters　in　that　singular　manner　for　a　little　while；　as　well　as　his　foregoers　did；　till　he　also　capsize；　and　be　left　floating　feet　uppermost；　after　which　you　choose　another。

What　an　immense　pother；　by　parliamenting　and　palavering　in　all　corners　of　your　empire；　to　decide　such　a　question　as　that！　　I　say；　if　that　is　the　function；　almost　any　human　creature　can　learn　to　discharge　it：　　fling　out　your　orange…skin　again；　and　save　an　incalculable　labor；　and　an　emission　of　nonsense　and　falsity；　and　electioneering　beer　and　bribery　and　balderdash；　which　is　terrible　to　think　of；　in　deciding。　　Your　National　Parliament；　in　so　far　as　it　has　only　that　question　to　decide；　may　be　considered　as　an　enormous　National　Palaver　existing　mainly　for　imaginary　purposes；　and　certain；　in　these　days　of　abbreviated　labor；　to　get　itself　sent　home　again　to　its　partridge…shootings；　fox…huntings；　and　above　all；　to　its　rat…catchings；　if　it　could　but　understand　the　time　of　day；　and　know　（as　our　indignant　Crabbe　remarks）　that　〃the　real　Nimrod　of　this　era；　who　alone　does　any　good　to　the　era；　is　the　rat…catcher！〃

The　notion　that　any　Government　is　or　can　be　a　No…Government；　without　the　deadliest　peril　to　all　noble　interests　of　the　Commonwealth；　and　by　degrees　slower　or　swifter　to　all　ignoble　ones　also；　and　to　the　very　gully…drains；　and　thief　lodging…houses；　and　Mosaic　sweating　establishments；　and　at　last　without　destruction　to　such　No…Government　itself；was　never　my　notion；　and　I　hope　it　will　soon　cease　altogether　to　be　the　world's　or　to　be　anybody's。　But　if　it　be　the　correct　notion；　as　the　world　seems　at　present　to　flatter　itself；　I　point　out　improvements　and　abbreviations。　　Dismiss　your　National　Palaver；　make　the　_Times_　Newspaper　your　National　Palaver；　which　needs　no　beer…barrels　or　hustings；　and　is　_cheaper_　in　expense　of　money　and　of　falsity　a　thousand　and　a　million　fold；　have　an　economical　red…tape　drilling　establishment　（it　were　easier　to　devise　such　a　thing　than　a　right　_Modern　University_）；and　fling　out　your　orange…skin　among　the　graduates；　when　you　want　a　new　Premier。

A　mighty　question　indeed！　　Who　shall　be　Premier；　and　take　in　hand　the　〃rudder　of　government；〃　otherwise　called　the　〃spigot　of　taxation；〃　shall　it　be　the　Honorable　Felix　Parvulus；　or　the　Right　Honorable　Felicissimus　Zero？　By　our　electioneerings　and　Hansard　Debatings；　and　ever…enduring　tempest　of　jargon　that　goes　on　everywhere；　we　manage　to　settle　that；　to　have　it　declared；　with　no　bloodshed　except　insignificant　blood　from　the　nose　in　hustings…time；　but　with　immense　beershed　and　inkshed　and　explosion　of　nonsense；　which　darkens　all　the　air；　that　the　Right　Honorable　Zero　is　to　be　the　man。　　That　we　firmly　settle；　Zero；　all　shivering　with　rapture　and　with　terror；　mounts　into　the　high　saddle；　cramps　himself　on；　with　knees；　heels；　hands　and　feet；　and　the　horse　gallopswhither　it　lists。　　That　the　Right　Honorable　Zero　should　attempt　controlling　the　horseAlas；　alas；　he；　sticking　on　with　beak　and　claws；　is　too　happy　if　the　horse　will　only　gallop　any…whither；　and　not　throw　him。　　Measure；　polity；　plan　or　scheme　of　public　good　or　evil；　is　not　in　the　head　of　Felicissimus；　except；　if　he　could　but　devise　it；　some　measure　that　would　please　his　horse　for　the　moment；　and　encourage　him　to　go　with　softer　paces；　godward　or　devilward　as　it　might　be；　and　save　Felicissimus's　leather；　which　is　fast　wearing。　　This　is　what　we　call　a　Government　in　England；　for　nearly　two　centuries　now。

I　wish　Felicissimus　were　saddle…sick　forever　and　a　day！　　He　is　a　dreadful　object；　however　much　we　are　used　to　him。　　If　the　horse　had　not　been　bred　and　broken　in；　for　a　thousand　years；　by　real　riders　and　horse…subduers；　perhaps　the　best　and　bravest　the　world　ever　saw；　what　would　have　become　of　Felicissimus　and　him　long　since？　　This　horse；　by　second…nature；　religiously　respects　all　fences；　gallops；　if　never　so　madly；　on　the　highways　alon